Book Report: Myths and Mysteries of Missouri by Josh Young (2014)

Book coverTo be honest, I was a bit down on this book when I first started reading it. The first chapter is about Jim the Wonder Dog, and I just read a whole book about him in December. Chapter 4 is pretty much a retelling of the Yocum Silver Dollar from Traces of Silver (and lest we forget, I read Woody P. Snow’s fictional account Blood Silver which would have fit into my Blood book theme this year). Chapter 9 is about the Springfield Three–I read a fictionalized account about it, Gone in the Night, a couple years back, and we just “celebrated” the thirtieth anniversary of the disappearence of the three women in 1992, so I’ve seen a lot of press coverage of it in recent years. And Chapter 13 is about the Spook Light down around Joplin which had not one, but two, books published about it in recent years (which means I might have one or two of them around here). So a lot of it was pretty familiar to me.

And, to be honest, perhaps I was a little envious. After all, I at one point fifteen years ago thought maybe I could mine the esoteric books I read for essay material and write articles bringing unknown things to the forefront (which resulted in one such publication, “Hey, Buddy, Want To Buy a Tower?” in History magazine in March 2008). But these stories, or at least the ones I mentioned above, are fairly common knowledge around these parts. Or maybe just to someone who takes eleven local newspapers plus Rural Missouri and Ozarks Farm and Neighbor plus who picks up a lot of local history books, even those not written by Larry Wood (who has multiple books like this Wicked Springfield, Missouri in print and in bookstores).

But the book is probably targeted for people outside Missouri or newcomers.

After I got over it and settled into the book (story retellings with few citations), I guess I leaned into it and enjoyed it more. After all, the Civil War cave it talks about is not Smallin Civil War cave just north of Ozark but a cave in Neosho whose entrance was closed, and now people are hunting for it. And I am not sure I’d read about Ella Ewing, a giantess who toured as a curiosity but was unfailingly proper, or Tom Bass, a black horse trainer, before. So I did get some new things out of the book as well as retellings of some of the aforementioned familiar with some asides and digressions into related topic matter.

Not a long book, and not a long read. So worth your while if you’re into Missouri, especially southwest Missouri, history.

The author bio says that he’s a local columnist, but he’s not syndicated. I don’t see him across multiple papers and magazines like I’ve seen Jim Hamilton and Larry Dablemont. Maybe he has moved on and has more recently penned books about other states.

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Five Things On My Desk

Ah, gentle reader, it has been over a year since I’ve done such a post (the last being December 2022). But I have taken a couple of steps of cleaning my desk, thwarted a little by digging around in my closet/kind of cleaning out my closet by putting things on my desk when looking for a laptop charger. So now, in addition to several things mentioned in December 2022, I have enough other things to make a whole bit of content this morning.

So, what do I have on my desk for now and what will seem like always?

A Swiss bayonet.

I received this from my mother-in-law when she downsized almost two years ago. For a long time, it resided in a box in the garage. We still have several boxes of things we received from her on the floor in the garage, records in boxes under the desk in the parlor, and boxes of books in my closet to move onto my to-read shelves when I make space. But at some point when I took small steps to clean the garage, I brought this bayonet into my office intending to put it on my office wall with the other bladed weapons. But I merely stacked it with the practice martial arts weapons on the books atop the bookshelves until I got around to hanging it.

Well, gentle reader, the kittens (who are young cats now) have knocked the bayonet down a couple of times, including once when I was squatting by the bookshelves looking for something to read (the kitten missed me, but not by much). After the last time they knocked it down, I put it on my desk until I get around to hanging it. Which has been a week already.

A digital photo frame.

This has been hanging around in my closet for some time, and I got it out when I was looking for the laptop power cord. I got this around 2006, so its little micro SD card still has photos of my first son as an infant. I had it on my desk the last time that I had a desk in an office downtown. After that job, I’ve worked from home, so for many years, I’ve had him around in real life, so I have not needed a photo frame.

I am not sure what I will do with it. I don’t have a handy outlet to put it on my current work desk–they’re all full of device power cords and whatnot. Maybe I will look for the dongle for updating the SD card and load it up with family photos for my beautiful wife who does have an office these days.

A stack of handwritten or clipped recipes.

This stack also comes from my mother-in-law’s downsizing–we received all of her recipes collected over decades, primarily in the 1960s through the 1980s. When my wife culled what she might try from the pile, I gathered some that I thought I’d use for découpage. They ended up in a stack on my desk, and then in a stack under another stack atop the computers under the desk, and then back atop the desk after I sorted some things on my desk. At least I think they’re paper for projects. I will have my wife review them again to see if I mistakenly grabbed some she wanted before I glue them to anything.

A tape measure.

One of my tape measures. What did I measure, and when? I don’t remember. Normally, I’m not measuring anything large down here. I have a pen holder that contains some tools, screwdrivers and pliers, because I sometimes work on little things or electronics at the desk. And I have a small wooden ruler, undoubtedly purchased as part of back-to-school supplies lists, for small measurements. Maybe I brought the tape measure when the ruler was lost behind or below other things. Only time will tell when I take it out to the garage where it belongs.

A stack of handwritten or clipped recipes.

A couple of old inspirational quotes. Twenty-five years ago, I was prone to taping these things to CRTs above my 286 or my sainted mother’s 486 (in those days, young reader, commodity computers were desktops, and you put the CRT monitor atop the sturdy metal computer case). One is a handwritten Mark Twain quote from The Prince and the Pauper, which I read (and probably quoted) in college. The second is a Teddy Roosevelt quote about the man in the arena which has become somewhat common on the Internet.

I can’t imagine the last time they were taped to a monitor or the desk hutch. I expect that I had them in a folder or on one of the file organizers on my desk but they came out when rearranging/sorting the desk.

They’re simple bits of paper, but I’m not sure why I cannot discard them. Perhaps because they’re personal relics now.


So what about the items from 2022? Are they still on my desk?

  • The dreamGEAR MyArcade DGUN-2561 hand-held electronic game? Nope; sometime in the year that has passed, I got it put onto the wall with the other electronic games.
  • The Toys for Tots stickers? Nope; I have discarded them as well as the others that I have received in the interim. Although I think I have a couple of more durable Toys for Tots tchotchkes addressed to my mother up in the hutch.
  • The pocket Declaration of Independence and Constitution? Yeah, but it’s getting closer to the end of the desk. I am not sure what to do with it; I don’t expect to put it onto the to-read shelves and read it (I actually have other volumes of the founding documents). Now that I think of it, I’ll put it aside and drop it on the church free book cart or the Little Free Library in Battlefield since I’m doing that now.
  • Signed CD and note from Jane Monheit? I put the CD onto the stacks of CDs in the hutch probably shortly after the post, but I just recently as part of cleaning the desk put the note into a little binder of autographed memorabilia that I’ve received from artists when ordering from their Web sites directly. So nope, but just barely.
  • The photos of me as a ring-bearer (and the photo of Gimlet’s daughter)? Actually, I am pretty sure I just recently put these into the unsorted box of memorabilia in the closet. And by just, I mean when cleaning my desk in January or when I tore apart the closet for the laptop cord.

So that’s only 20% I am getting better.

And as to previous editions, it looks like only the laptop hard drive from October 2022 remain on my desk, although to be honest, it was only with the January cleaning that I put the remaining stray spoons (noted in October 2022) into the bag of my mother’s spoon collection (noted on my desk in February 2014) which has been relegated to the store room again as polishing the spoons was proving very time consuming indeed. I bought a spoon display case whilst Christmas shopping in, what, 2021? wherein I polished a couple of the spoons and put them into the case, but it was too small to display them nicely (the vertical alignment was too short for the spoons) and it would not have held them all anyway. I have bought another one while Christmas shopping last year which holds the eight spoons I polished (and need to polish again probably). Perhaps I’ll get that bag of spoons to work on them again. Or at least to post about them again in 2027.

Also on my desk: A bag of the Christmas cards we received in 2019. Presumably, they were in the closet, and I got them out to put them in the store room with the others. I’ve been thinking about trimming the fronts off of the stock cards as one of our church’s ministries is creating cards to send for sympathy and to shut-ins. Every once in a while, they put a call in the bulletin asking for cards, but I never hop on it when I see that in the bulletin.

NOT on my desk: The 2023 Christmas cards, which I bagged up after taking them down this year. When packaging them, though, I found the 2022 cards under a pile of “I don’t know where to file this” filing on the other desk in my office. So the bag is labeled 2022/2023 Christmas cards as I’m not sure which year the individual cards arrived. That bag, though, made it to the store room. I think.

Also not on or under my desk: A couple of pillows whose stuffing had gotten balled up with repeated washings. I replaced the batting in them, but I ran into some difficulty sewing them up and asked my beautiful wife if she could. That was probably a year ago. They remained under the desk until I sewed them up yesterday with another bit of unprofessional mending. Because somehow, a needle appeared on my desk. So they’re out of the way. The Marine Corps pillow I mentioned in August 2022? To be honest, I don’t know where that is now. It is quite likely that it is somewhere near the desk even now. And given how I am now a sewer, maybe I will stuff that and give it to my brother.

Wow, that’s a lot of words on trivia. And, to be honest, at the end here, I don’t think how long these things remain on my desk is something to brag about.

But you all are welcome to start a pool as to what will be the first thing removed from my desk (I’d go with tape measure as I could feasibly take it to the garage when getting things to hang the bayonet on the wall) and which will remain the longest (I’d go with the quote cards).

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Book Report: Blood Count by “Dell Shannon” (1986)

Book coverGeez, Louise, it’s been a while since I’ve read an Elizabeth Linington book (Dell Shannon being one of her pen names). I mean, I read a number of them in high school, either because the Community Library in High Ridge stocked them or because I borrowed some from my grandma (who owned some which I inherited in a roundabout fashion–and now that I think of it, my grandma died about the same time as “Elizabeth Linington”, and I never saw the two of them in the same place at the same time….) I know I have The First Linington Quartet around here somewhere, which I inherited from my grandma through my sainted mother. I must have read it right before I began blogging and doing book reports, because I kind of poop on her work in early book reports on this blog (The McBain Brief by Ed McBain, reviewed in August 2003; The Lost Coast by Roger Simon, reviewed in November 2004; Blood on the Arch by Robert J. Randisi, reviewed in December 2004). Clearly, it has taken me twenty years to remember how I didn’t like them (and note that in 2003, I was a little more than 20 years from my heavy reading in the…. well, a couple years earlier). But, oh, dear: Apparently when I bought this book in 2008, I bought several “Dell Shannon” books. Which might well remain in the Nogglestead stacks until 2044, or the sale of my estate.

I guess this book jumped out at me since I’ve already read two books for the 2024 Winter Reading Challenge with Blood in the title (Blood Relatives by Ed McBain–a far superior police procedural–and Blood Debts by Shayne Silver).

This is one of the Luis Mendoza books (The First Linington Quintet being the Ivor Maddox series–Linington had numerous series from 1960 to this volume, one of the last before she passed). Luis Mendoza is part of Robbery and Investigation (Homicide) in the LA police department, and the book features Mendoza as a character amidst the detective squad, most of whom are but names–perhaps in the, what, 35 or so previous books they had personalities, but in this book, they’re a rotating series of names mostly, with no back story elaboration. Why does Mendoza, a cop, drive a Ferrari? Perhaps that was covered somewhere sixty or seventy years ago–the series began in 1960–, but it’s not in this book, and I don’t remember anything about it from whatever I might have read forty years ago from the series.

So, at any rate, the detective squad starts to look into a murder where a woman from out-of-town has extended her stay, but is murdered and someone has tried to cover it up as a car accident. Meanwhile, other cases are introduced: The rape of a young girl walking home from a friend’s house; a mugger who steals his victims’ shoes; an elderly man dies in his apartment amid an apparent struggle; and a couple of other smaller cases whose detecting progress, or not, is woven throughout the book.

So it’s a police procedural, but maybe too much. The cipher-like detectives of the squad–mostly just names, but some with a little mention of their families, and one is a woman–hang out, do puzzles, read books, and sometimes go out to investigate. Fortunately, their Los Angeles police district circa the mid 1980s doesn’t see a lot of crime. When they investigate, they interview some people but spend a lot of time theorizing in paragraphs- or page-long ruminations. But when it comes time for the cases to be cracked, it’s usually a random tip that provides the information that the detectives need–not their hard work. And some of the cases remain unresolved at the end of the book. Because it’s just another day’s–or week’s work–for the police.

Blech. Not only is the book particularly existential in its meaninglessness–the “heroes” of the book just kind of ride along with the story–but it goes out of its way to be existential as two separate sets of characters in different scenes go on to embrace and evangelize their atheism over the course of a dozen pages about two-thirds of the way through the book. Out of nowhere. Additionally, the book is crazy anachronistic. They mention a gang fight with stabbings like it was the Sharks and the Jets and not the gangs and violence we who came of age in the 1980s would recognize from the era.

But, as I mentioned, this book comes at the tail of Linington’s career, and this particular series began in 1960, almost a half century before. Ed McBain kept his 87th Precinct books pretty fresh from the 1950s through the early part of the 21st century, but this book reads like the author had frozen her understanding of police procedure in amber. I mean, I guess I cannot knock it–She banged out enough books to make a good midlist living at it. But they’re not that good, and they don’t have the staying power of the McBain work. Not that one can talk about the staying power of any 20th century books or maybe books in general in the 21st century.

And, apparently, I have two more “Dell Shannon” books in the to-read stacks, ready to strike at any time. Maybe if the Winter Reading Challenge next year has a category A Book That Probably Sucks. Well, it likely will, but with a mind-broadening woke title instead of the more direct Probably Sucks.

I am ready to read something else (and I already have!)

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This… Is… SPRINGFIELD!

Actually, this is Stone County, which is just south of here. Well, south of Christian County, whose line is about a mile south of Nogglestead. But close enough. From the front page of the Stone County Republican:

To be honest, I have not seen offers like that in a while. And the Nogglestead furnace is still plugging along in spite of what the “courtesy inspection” guy would indicate. So I have no need to take advantage of this offer. Hmmm…. Unless I install zoned heating and cooling. Or put on an addition that requires a separate system….

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Sometimes, The Music Just Reappears

I have mentioned before, gentle reader, that sometimes a song pops into my head and stays there for a while for some undiscernable reason decades after I heard the song (such as “Hearts” by Marty Balin).

So, yesterday, I found myself doo-da-doo-dooing the theme from the Spiderman and His Amazing Friends cartoon while handling the laundry (most of my musical interludes of this nature involve the laundry. This I have heard within the decade: I used to show the intro to my boys on YouTube when they were young, and I recorded episodes of it for them to watch, what, twelve years ago? Not that recently.

This morning, when transferring the laundry, I started singing, “I wish I had a girl who walked like that….” Which was a song by Henry Lee Summers that came out when I was in high school, and I probably have not heard it but once or twice since then:

Being a young man, I understood the longing for someone, although I did not generally approach strangers on the street. Watching that video now kind of makes one cringe, although Western civilization has sort of bred out that sort of behaviour and has taken to importing men with worse predilections.

I guess I just have a slow-motion random playlist in my head for folding laundry or something, and it’s a broader variety than the variety radio stations have these days–I heard two Michael Jackson songs from Bad on two different radio stations whilst running an errand this morning, for cryin’ out loud.

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What Else Is Happening At The Library

As the picture of my 2024 Winter Reading Challenge form indicates, the Library Center is my home library. It is the big one, perhaps the closest to Nogglestead, although the branch in Republic might be equidistant.

So is the Library Center in national news lately? You betcha!

Riley Gaines slams ‘insufferable’ trans activists mocking one-armed pro surfer Bethany Hamilton at library event:

Transgender activists crashed a Missouri library event with former University of Kentucky swimmer Riley Gaines and surfing legend Bethany Hamilton last Friday, with at least one activist appearing to mock the one-armed professional surfer.

The two female athletes were hosting a children’s story hour featuring their inspirational titles about overcoming adversity from conservative book publisher Brave Books at The Library Center in Springfield, Missouri, on Feb. 2.

Not in a good way, though.

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Book Report: Star Trek 12 by James Blish with J.A. Lawrence (1977)

Book coverI was mistaken in October 2022 (That long ago? Already?) when I’d said I’d finish Star Trek 13 sometime and turn my attention to the Star Trek: The Animated Series books by Alan Dean Foster. This volume is the final one in the original set, and Blish died while working on it (his widow, J.A. Lawrence, finished it). I also thought that Star Trek 11 was the last in the set that I had on my to-read shelves as I’d grouped them as I went along before reading them, but I found this paperback when scouring the stacks for books for the Winter Reading Challenge, and I figured it would be a good, quick book to start off my post-Winter Reading Challenge reading.

The book has five stories based on episodes, and they felt rather familiar, but perhaps I remember them from reading Star Trek Memories two years ago–I think it had some summaries of the plots of the shows.

Stories/episodes include:

  • “Patterns of Force”, the one where the Enterprise crew visits a planet where a peaceable Federation researcher has somehow become a Fuhrer figure to a militant society looking to eliminate people from the next planet over.
     
  • “The Gamesters of Triskelion”, the one where an Enterprise’s away team is snatched during transport to a distant planet where they’ll be trained to act as gladiators that the Gamesters can wager on.
     
  • “And the Children Shall Lead”, the one where the Enterprise comes to a research outpost to find that the adults are dead and the children are unconcerned; when the crew brings the children aboard, they start to take over at the behest of an alien force.
     
  • “The Carbomite Maneuver”, the one where the Enterprise goes to the edges of known space and encounters a stronger alien presence that wants to defend itself by destroying the Enterprise until Kirk explains about the Carbomite.
     
  • “Shore Leave”, the one where an overworked Enterprise crew finds a planet that seems to bring the crew’s memories and thoughts to life–for good and for bad.

Blish (and his wife) got better as he (they) went along with these books, where they could not only write from relatively fresh scripts but from the actual aired episodes, so they match (and perhaps make) our memories. You know, when I initially read these books in the 1980s, I probably had not seen many of the episodes. I mean, Star Trek was fairly common on the weekends in syndication, so I took it for granted. So many of the episodes that I’ve later seen–and infrequently at that, now that I think about it–I would have seen after reading these books.

So fifty years after he passed away, I have to salute James Blish for his work. He was not a midlister who filled a void for science fiction fans–television science fiction fans, perhaps–but, as I’ve said, until Star Trek: The Motion Picture came out (and, honestly, until The Wrath of Khan or maybe Star Trek: The Next Generation came out), this is what we had to make do with in those pioneer days before streaming, before cable. I suspect Laura Ingalls Wilder read these books on the prairies. Well, not quite, but…. Yeah, kids these days would not enjoy these books as much as I have decades and a half-century later.

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The 2024 Winter Reading Challenge: Complete

Well, gentle reader, in a little over a month, I read 14 books and listened to 1 to complete the 2024 Winter Reading Challenge:

I read:

Gentle reader, that counts only as 13 books in my annual total–Unqualified is an audiobook and does not count, and neither does Much Ado About Nothing. But considering that I finished one book on January 2 before starting the Winter Reading Challenge, I read one book not counted in the Winter Reading Challenge before completing it, and have finished another book or two since, and I am in good shape for my annual reading already. And it’s leap year, so I have an extra day to run up my annual total.

It certainly seems like that was a long month, but I attribute that both to the dietary restrictions (doing the Whole 30 Diet with my beautiful wife) and the late great employment uncertainty. But I read a lot, so that’s something.

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Book Report: Blood Debts by Shayne Silvers (2015)

Book coverAll right, all right, all right. I am really stretching here. The 2024 Winter Reading Challenge has a category Library/Bookstore Setting, but although I looked through my stacks for books on selling books (such as or Books: A Memoir by Larry McMurtry) or book collecting where the authors visit a bunch of book shops (such as Slightly Chipped by Lawrence and Nancy Goldstone, which I bought at Hooked on Books before I lived in Springfield, back when I stopped at Hooked on Books every time I came to Springfield, but now that I live in Springfield I don’t hardly ever go even though my church is across the street and my doctor’s office is next door). I looked for books with titles that clearly indicated that they took place in a bookstore or library (such as The Bookshop by Penelope Fitzgerald). But I could find none of these, and I didn’t want to spend time reading the backs of books to see what might qualify and I wanted to not have to go to the library for a “recommendation”–I wanted to draw all books this year from my personal stacks. Then I remembered an urban fantasy series where the main character owned a book store. I checked into the Dresden files by Jim Butcher (I read White Night in 2015), but that’s not it (which is unfortunate, as I have several facing out right behind my desk). But when I was tearing apart my stacks looking for a book for this category, I said, “Aha!”

I read the first book in the series, Obsidian Son, in 2017, and I bought this book the next year in 2018. I mentioned then that I had spoken to the author at his table about getting ready to test for my second-degree black belt, and I laughed when I opened the book and saw the inscription.

Five and a half years later, I’m in a similar position with pursuing my third degree. Back then, I punted the final testing date a couple of months because my boy(s) had cross country meets and First Lego League competitions on testing dates, although to be honest they weren’t that excited to come cheer me on in my testing. So much that I’m not expecting them to attend the third degree when I get there. I’ve been putting off the confirmations and the ultimate testing because my attendance has been somewhat spotty over the last couple of years, but it’s steadied at a class or two a week, and I’ve been concerned that I’m not getting in enough reps to be sharp enough to prove myself worth of the next degree–and most of my classes have been with children over the last four years–but I’m getting more comfortable with the thought. So I’ll likely work my way up to that next degree before the author of this book can go all General Patton on my continued slackerosity.

So, about this book:

Nate Temple has defeated the weredragons (from Obsidian Son) and is looking into his parents’ murder and how to unlock the secret armory of magic items they’ve hidden in their tech company’s headquarters. During his investigation, he visits a Kill bar, which is a bar where supernatural beings can kill each other with impunity, and he in quick succession defies a demon, angers an angel, gets wailed on by a werewolf, and gets kidnapped by a tribunal of wizards who also want the armory. He’s cursed with diminishing magickal powers unless he turns over the armory to the wizards and has to deal with demons and Nephilim hunting him while he tries to find the secret of the armory, who killed his parents, and who summoned the demons in an attempt to kick off Armageddon.

Silvers has a very kinetic and conversational first person narration style, especially compared to some books I’ve read lately, so the 320 pages flew by relatively quickly. I was in a bit of a bind, though, since through the first hundred or so pages, Nate Temple does not go to his book store at all. I was a little worried that he would not and that I would have to go back to the stacks, but fortunately he soon thereafter, in a battle with a nephilim and a demon, destroyed the bookstore. So a scene at a bookstore counts as far as I’m concerned.

The book does a good job of not being too particular in naming streets and whatnot (::cough, cough:: Guilty!), but it really lacks a sense of being set in St. Louis. It mentions being during Mardi Gras, but it says the whole city goes nuts for Mardi Gras–it’s really Soulard (named once in the book, eventually). But I don’t get any idea where Temple Industries is located; they mention the city jail, but you don’t get a sense of it being downtown (not Clayton, of course, that’s the county jail). He talks about going into a seedy area, but is it North St. Louis? Vanderloo? That corridor between Grand and the Central West End? A little more such detail would have spiced it up (but not so detailed that your book becomes obsolete when they change the intersection at Litzsinger and Lindbergh).

The book might suffer from some power inflation in the main character though. He’s put on the ropes with the curse, but he eventually transcends mere wizardry and can battle demons and angels to a standstill by the end of the book (and temporarily gets the powers of one of the Four Horsemen before being found not guilty in a trial of the Four Riders at the end of the book). I remember a couple books into the Anita Blake series by Laurell Hamilton (you know, that Klein girl from Heber) that Anita Blake kept getting laden with new powers which seemed to diminish her approachability as a character (also, she had the hots for werewolves and vampires and not printing press operators/coffee house poets, as I was at the time I read the first books in the series). I hope the same does not befall Nate Temple.

Apparently, I would have some catching up to do to catch up with Silver’s ongoing series–he has almost 30 books out now which means he’s publishing five per year (check my math). Amazing. And they’re a cut above the normal self-published fare. So I will likely pick up another book or two by him if I run into him again at a con or something. I really miss LibraryCon, which was free–Missouri Comic Con is this weekend here in Springfield, and I can’t justify $30 to walk around vendor booths and spend too much on self-published comic books and maybe meet (but not party with) Sam J. Jones from Flash Gordon (I have a martial arts class during his session anyway, and I do need to get that third degree anyway).

Where was I? Oh, good book. A quicker read than I remember from Larry Correia and Jim Butcher. Although maybe my speed to read it was partially influenced by the fact that it was the last book I needed for the Winter Reading Challenge.

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Subtext: Sissy?

I am not sure what to make of this summary:

The singer crafted an identity around his macho, pro-American swagger and wrote songs that fans loved to hear in his three decades in country music.

So…. he was not authentically macho? Not authentically pro-American? A sissy because a real man doesn’t die of cancer at 62?

Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but probably not. This clever wordsmith (or AI trained by clever wordsmiths) is making a point.

But never mind. Onto the real news.

Probably the best advice I’ve gotten in a while.

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But My Garbage Smells Delicious

I’m creating a new category for the blog, Vexations, for things that vex me. Not like politics or current events which make me by turns angry or resigned. A little perturbed. A little angry, but I know it’s a little thing or it could be worse. Instead of starting out with the many, many fine vexations of 2023/2024, I must recount what happened to me this morning.

So I decided I was going to try to make soup.

I guess I wanted to learn how to make full use of the Christmas turkey so that when the hard times come (see politics or current events), I can extend the meals I get from black or turkey vultures I manage to bludgeon with a shovel. Also, my oldest is supposed to be learning to cook and to write about them for his senior project at school. So we used a pressure cooker to make stock with the Christmas turkey right after Christmas.

However, my beautiful wife and I did the Whole 30 Diet for the first 30 days of January, so my boy(s) and I did not make soup right after Christmas as I did not think we would eat it all before my consumption was locked down. So I put it in the freezer, but I got it out again on January 31.

However, even though I selected a recipe, my boy(s) and I did not come together to make the soup in the week that passed after I took the stock out of the freezer. I am not sure how much time the boy could have counted toward his project as I picked a slow cooker recipe, so basically it was to cut vegtables up and put them in the slow cooker.

But we put it off long enough, so this morning, I went to the grocery store very early to pick up a couple of things we’d need–mostly heavy cream and some small potatoes (no small potatoes, as it turns out, $6 for 24 ounces). And by we’d need, I mean I’d need since, by this point, I didn’t think the boy(s) would proffer much help as it required preparing the vegetables and letting it cook for hours. They could have chopped vegetables when they got home from school (and before the oldest went to work) and the soup would have been ready at like 8pm. So I figured I was on my own.

So around 8am this morning, I chopped carrots, celery, potatoes, and an onion slowly and carefully and put them in a ceramic bowl. I started the pot a-warming, and then I put the stock into the pot, spilling only a lot of the stock in the process, and added the four pounds (and $10) of vegetables. Then I thought I would use up the remaining onions in the refrigerator and maybe jalapeños into the mix.

You see, as part of the Whole 30 Diet, I cooked a lot with green peppers, onions, and jalapeños, so when I chopped one up, I’d store what I didn’t use in the fridge for later use. I put green peppers in a plastic container, but onions and jalapeños in glass jars so that their smell/flavor would not penetrate.

I opted against the jalapeño, but I dumped the onion directly into the slow cooker and turned to get a spoon to scrape the ones sticking to the side of the jar, and when I put the spoon into the jar, I heard a little tinkle. “What was that?” I thought.

And I discovered a small hole had broken out of the bottom of the jar.

I guess that the temperature change from the refrigerator to the warm air above the stock pot weakened the glass. Did it break when I dumped the onions or when I touched the glass with the spoon? I don’t know either. I looked and even touched the top layer of vegetables, but I could not see any broken glass amidst the finely chopped onions and minced garlic.

Of course, I could not take a chance. So I binned it all.

Man, this really vexed me. Probably more so because I has put it off, and then when I finally went to do it, I made the big mistake. So it’s my fault, too. Although I am not sure if I’ve really learned a lesson, since it’s entirely possible I will never again try to make soup to be in a position to not make this mistake again.

Not a really big thing. But certainly a vexation.

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On Unqualified by Anna Faris (2017)

Book coverThe 2024 Winter Reading Challenge, like previous ones, has a category for audio books, but this year, it had an additional requirement: it needed to be narrated by the author. Fortunately, I had a copy of this audio book, which was at the top of the box containing audio books and courses that I’d removed from atop the desk hutch because the stacks were blocking the light from the lamps up there. It was fortunate that I picked up this former library copy at the Friends of the Library book sale last spring as I took a quick spin through the audio books section of the library and did not find anything narrated by the author. Well, nothing I would want to listen to anyway.

It took some effort to fit this audio book in, gentle reader. As you might know, my children are older now and don’t require me to drive them to and from school on weekdays, so I lost about an hour each day in audiobook listening time. Coupled with the fact that I currently have no wheels (ask me sometime about how the autumn and winter of 2023/2024 vexed me) and don’t really go anywhere, so I had to make an effort to listen to an audio book at home. I briefly tried to listen while I worked, but I was focused on other things and was not paying attention to the audio book, so I could not do that. I didn’t have any hands-on, not processing words hobbies in the workshop to do while this played. So I spent six evenings, well, six individual hours over six evenings, to listen to this. Instead of reading a book or watching a film. I lit a fire, popped a CD into the DVD player to listen through the den’s audio system, and I just listened to the book. I gave my attention pretty strictly to the book. I couldn’t even putz around on my phone as I don’t have any games or mindless activity apps installed on the phone. Just a browser for reading Web sites. But, gentle reader, I wanted that 2024 Winter Reading Challenge mug. And, most importantly, I wanted to hit all of the categories. So I listened to Anna (ah-na) Faris (one R) read her book.

So: Although I have seen her in Lost in Translation and Keanu (although it must have been a small role, playing herself, perhaps in the Hollywood scene), I remember her mostly from My Super Ex-Girlfriend where she played Hannah, the cute assistant to the Luke Wilson character. Mostly because I just watched the film last year. She has been in a number of other comedies and voice actor in children’s movies and some television appearances. But, as I discovered, she is a comic actress and not a comedienne, which is important because this book is earnest and not humorous.

She also has or had a successful podcast, or maybe successfulish as I don’t know what metrics mark a successful podcast, called Unqualified. On the podcast, Faris gives advice, mostly (I presume based on the contents of the book) on sex and relationships. But she holds that she is really unqualified to give this advice.

So this book is part memoir, with some stories about her growing up and becoming an actor but also about her early relationships, her first marriage, her second marriage to Chris Pratt and the birth of their son, and some behind-the-scenes glimpses of life in Hollywood (she and Pratt divorced after the book came out, and she is on her third marriage now), and a bit about the podcast and its production. Another part of the book is relationship advice based on callers to the podcast, and another bit of it is filler material where she reads comments from the podcast’s Facebook page and whatnot. Unfortunately, it’s not particularly humorous (comic actress, not a comedienne). It might be a better read as some of the material is probably pretty skimmable, whereas listening to it means you have to hear every word at the author’s pace.

I don’t want to poop all over the author’s efforts here; she is very earnest in wanting to help people by giving them advice. But I am really not the target audience for this book, and I’m sure I would not have picked up the book if I saw it in a bookstore. But I saw it through the veil of profligate accumulation on a Audiobooks table for $.50 a month after I’d seen Faris in a film, so I got the book. And, fortunately, it counted for a category in the Winter Reading Challenge. But I can only recommend it if you’re a fan of Anna Faris or advice columns/podcasts. Not if you’re looking for topical humor from a comedian or comedienne.

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Book Report: Midnight Cowboy by James Leo Herlihy (1965)

Book coverFor some reason, I kinda remembered that this book was a gritty look at New York City and the main character was a prostitute who serviced both male and female clients. Actually, I must have read something about the movie somewhere (I mention the film compared to 9 to 5 in 2021, but I’ve never actually seen the film, apparently the only X-rated film to win Best Picture). So when I needed something to slot into the LBGTQ+ Character category of the 2024 Winter Reading Challenge. But it might be a stretch, though, as the main character does not appear to be attracted to men. But I am playing fast and loose with the rules this year, and probably a lot of college papers in the 1970s talked about the latent attraction between two of the male characters, so I’ll go with it.

At any rate, the book tells in a third-person limited omniscient narrator fashion, the story of Joe Dirt Buck (really), the product of a broken home, rather dumb. Raised by his grandmother rather absently, he loses his virginity, mostly watches television, gets drafted, and becomes rootless when his grandmother dies while he’s in the service stateside. He moves to Houston, takes work, and falls under the sway of a gay hustler who turns him onto weed and tries to have sex with him. Joe is still under the man’s spell, but the man takes him to a whorehouse out in the sticks and then watches as Joe wins over the prostitute purchased for him for the evening, leading to Joe beating the man and then getting raped by the gay bouncer. Joe then decides to go to New York City and become a hustler himself, but he’s dumb and does not know how to go about it. He falls in with a lame grifter, Rico “Ratso” Rizzo, lives with him for a bit, has a couple of hustling “adventures,” and decides, when the weather turns, to do one last job to buy bus tickets to Florida for himself and Rizzo. Which he does, although it involves beating and robbing a john. And on the bus ride there, Rizzo dies. And, finis!

The sex in the book is not given in any great detail, fortunately, but it must have been very grittily depicted to have earned an X rating for the film. I think I will pass on the film.

For the second book in a row, I got a told-to book with great blocks of telling what was happening, and the main character was not particularly likeable. It reminded me a whole lot of The Last Picture Show in that it takes a simple, small-town southwestern man as a protagonist, and it just kind of tells the sad story of a mediocre figure. I can’t believe that the author had affection for the characters, instead trying to write the gritty expose of how life really is, man in the 1960s as imagined by the literate set.

Herlihy was something in the 1960s, apparently. This is the second of his three novels–he was more known as a playwright–and a number of his books and plays were made into successful films. But his success and endurance has proven to be fleeting.

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The Ultimate Showdown

Well, okay, not anywhere close. But if you watched game shows in the 1980s, you might be familiar with two of the games’ villains. The Whammy from Press Your Luck and the Dragon from Tic Tac Dough.

   

So the question I have for you is: Which is the bigger villain?

I’ll go first (and probably only). I say the Dragon because I came to watch Tic Tac Dough earlier than I watched Press Your Luck, and because the Dragon was the height of Apple II graphics at the time (according to the Wikipedia entry).

However, one could make the argument that the Whammy was worse because it was part of regular game play, and the Dragon was only part of the bonus game at the end of the program.

Still, I have to go with what I know.

I can still hear its roar when the game player exposed its square. To be honest, I think I can hear the Whammy, but I might be thinking of the Domino’s Pizza Noid from that era.

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Book Report: The Beautiful and Enduring Ozarks by Leland Payton (1999)

Book coverTo be honest, gentle reader, this volume does not slot into the 2024 Winter Reading Challenge. However, after Lolita, I only had the LGTBQ+ Character and Library/Bookstore Settings, and the book that I found with a LGBTQ+ character promised to also be seedy, so I browsed through this collection of Ozarks text and photos as a bit of a break. It only took a couple of hours, but it was a nice respite.

I picked it up on the church’s Free Book cart, which has expanded from being but a way for the church to dump old theology and Christian books out of its library and more into a Little Free Library for members. I myself have left duplicate copies of The Greek Life, Dave Barry’s History of the Millennium (So Far), and a fat collection of Shakespeare, and Todd Parnell’s Privilege and Privation which I apparently bought at library book sales two years in a row. If I spot a book that looks interesting–such as The Making of the Old Testament–I will note it one week, and if it’s still on the cart the next week, I will snag it. Except this book. I think I grabbed it on first sight.

So, it’s about 80 pages of photos and text, a little about the history of the Ozarks, but pretty broad in scope, talking about the Scotch-Irish settlers, the Osage Indians, and the transition of the hill men to hillbillies in popular thought. So, basically, a paean to the place and the people and their continued independence and leave-us-alone attitude.

So pleasant little vacation from seamy Serious Fiction on a list guided by librarians out to broaden my horizons.

In doing a quick Internet search as “research” for this book report, I discovered that Leland is still around 25 years later and still producing books like this available at hypercommon.com.

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Book Report: Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov (1955)

Book coverThe 2024 Winter Reading Challenge has a category Outside Your Comfort Zone, and I figured it was finally time to tackle this novel. I bought it sixteen years ago at an estate sale south of Blackburn Park in Old Trees when my oldest was but a toddler. It has languished on the to-read shelves for an occasion just such as this as at no point would I carry this book outside the house to read it, gentle reader.

You might know the basics of the story, gentle reader, as it has passed into the culture even beyond its film adaptations. Humbert Humbert has what Ed McBain would call “Short Eyes” for the title character. The book details his biography, an encounter in his youth to which he attributes his predilection, and then how he comes to room with a woman and her daughter, the title character. The book, erm, waxes poetic on the attributes of the girl, and when the mother dies shortly after marrying the narrator and then finding his hidden journal detailing his obsession. Humbert takes the girl across country, dallying with her often, but although initially she was into their assignations, she grows bored and distant. They settle in a town, and she attends a girls’ school for a while, but they take off on another cross-country excursion, this one in desperation as the narrator fears she is into someone else. Then she disappears, presumably with that someone else, and he loses touch of her for a number of years before she reaches out, and he meets her, married and pregnant, and then he kills the man who stole her from him (not her husband).

The frame of the book is that it’s a manuscript written by a man in jail awaiting trial (for the murder, likely). The narrator is trying awfully hard to not sound like a bad guy with his actions taking place in between bouts of real madness and trips to a sanitarium. The sensuous descriptions of the girl, though, make one feel squicky. The unreliable narrator comes off as pretty pathetic, and the girl kind of bratty. The prose is overwritten, with the author just dropping lists into the text (not bulleted, mind you, but lists anyway, which gets tedious).

As I was reading it, I was wondering, “Why write this book?” I mean, there’s no hero in it and no lesson to learn from it unless it’s just to shock the bourgeoisie (which might have been part of the point) or to perhaps normalize this behavior (not the madness nor brattiness but the other thing, which is probably not the point but seems to be gaining steam in the 21st century). Nabakov included an afterword in the English depiction here which boils down to 1.) It’s Art and 2.) I am a great novelist in several languages. But I don’t wonder if he didn’t just want to write Crime and Punishment for mid-century America.

Welp, I read it. So I have another thing to strike off in innumerable “you should read this book” lists (such as this, this, or this). And I have one more category done in the Winter Reading Challenge.

In searches on this blog for the book’s title, conducted to see if I had it in a Good Book Hunting post, I rediscovered that this book played a part in The Bookshop by Penelope Fitzgerald. Ah, a shame! The Library/Bookstore Setting category will likely be the last I complete, and The Bookshop would not only have satisfied that category but also the Made Into A Movie/TV Show category. As you know, gentle reader, I like those twofers.

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Jack Baruth Discovers Symphonic Metal

Atop Jack Baruth’s Avoidable Contact Forever yesterday, I saw a familiar face:

It’s Giada “Jade” Etro of the symphonic metal band Frozen Crown, of whom Baruth says:

As most of you know, music isn’t a full-time job for most people nowadays, so you’ll be pleased to know that Miss Etro has twelve years of experience as a dentist and orthodontist. How in God’s name have I had one implant, four veneers, and a dozen crowns… none from her. I don’t care if I die during the procedure like Ye’s mom did during her discount Mexican plastic surgery.

As I did with Kim du Toit, I welcome Baruth’s discovery of the genre, where all the bands have attractive women with pipes on the lead vocals.

And, then as now, I offer some further selections.

Vocalist:
Melissa Bonny
Mizuho Lin
Nicoletta Rossellini
Nationality:
Swiss
Brazilian
Italian
Bands:
Evenmore
Rage of Light
Ad Infinitum
The Dark Side of the Moon
Semblant
Kalidia
Walk in Darkness

Although I don’t put a lot of symphonic metal on my gym playlist (“What Lies Ahead” and “Mere Shadow” by Semblant, “Stay Black” by Battle Beast, “82nd All the Way” by Amaranthe), it’s what YouTube insists on feeding me on those occasions where I type in a song from a metal band (any metal band) and let it run. Which is not a good way to find more songs for my gym playlist, but it does introduce me to new symphonic metal bands. And the infrequent Spanish metal band thanks to Xeria.

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Last Week, My Laptop Failed To Boot

Generally, this is a prelude explaining the dearth of posting, gentle reader, but this story is unrelated to the dearth of posting. That particular ennui stems from not being particularly interested in posting political hot takes because I’m not convincing anyone and venting my spleen is not actually letting any fresh air into my spleen and because I’m looking for work and a front page of political wrongthink can hinder that. Although most employers and hiring managers don’t bother to look at my LinkedIn profile, much less do a Web search for me (Googling a person is so 2002), I did get a blog post attached to my job application once and might have led demerits. True story: On one of those barrage interview situations, none of the senior people looked for me on the Internet, but a junior developer participating in the interviews, did, and he mentioned my reading a Star Trek book. Afterwards, I got a hit to the blog from Greenhouse on the previous post which indicated that Chinese cat food products might have suspect ingredients. As I interviewed with two Chinese-Americans, I presume this labeled me as a xenophobe (although you, gentle reader, know that if I am not truly a Sinophile, at least I have read some history and watched some native films). I’ve not been posting a lot of humorous anecdotes about life because, well, how is life going? That’s another story, maybe, but I am looking for work. Enough said for now.

So when I say My laptop failed to boot, I meant my nearly thirty-year-old Thinkpad.

Continue reading “Last Week, My Laptop Failed To Boot”

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Spoken Like A Man With No Metal On His Wall

HOME DEPOT IS SELLING A ‘BRAVEHEART’ SWORD AND HERE ARE SOME FOOLPROOF WAYS TO SELL THE IDEA OF BUYING ONE TO YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER:

It’s been a while since I’ve popped into a Home Depot, but now that I know they’re peddling a reasonably priced sword, I might need to check it out.

People have been buzzing about the surprising listing that was found on the company’s website.

What if we fought using the Home Depot sword pic.twitter.com/Slcg5F40Tb

— Sena Bonbon ️ ~comms open~ (@Bonbon_Sena) January 23, 2024

Damn, look at that. What makes it even better is that it’s priced at around $50. I defy you to find a William Wallace Medieval Sword — or any other bladed weapon for that matter — with a sheath for that price.

With inflation still pretty high, you can’t.

Still, you might need to convince your wife/girlfriend/significant other that you need this at a hardware store Claymore.

I know you’re busy so allow me to come up with some arguments for you.

As you might know, gentle reader, I have mentioned that I have a halberd and several swords on my wall, several practice weapons atop the books on my bookshelves, and a Swiss bayonet that I really must put on the wall before a cat knocks it off of the bookshelves perhaps onto my head instead of next to where I am standing, trying to pick out a book, next time (but no rapier or katana even though I have just the spot for one.

You know, (perhaps I’ve already told this story, but here it is again) Relics had a claymore in one of the booths a while back, and I thought about it. Then I looked at the price tag, and it was $500. So I mulled it over, and when I had a Christmas bonus or something, I took a closer look at it…. And it was truly a claymore, a plaster or resin replica of a claymore and not even metal at all. So way, way overpriced. Which is just as well, as I don’t have room for it on my office wall. But in the den, the vertical surface above the fireplace mantel is bare….

So I don’t have to justify buying a new blade to my beautiful wife as it falls into ther category of things I accumulate. I wouldn’t have to justify spending $50 on a sword–and keep in mind the thing at Home Depot is a replica, with as much relationship to a real sword as the decorative flintlock replicas I have on my wall are to real pistols.

I would have to justify spending $500 on a sword, though. And perhaps get a second job to cover it.

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