Headline Gives Wrong Impression

I know it’s unexpected that a headline gives the completely wrong impression, but on the home page of the Springfield News-Leader, we get this:

“Hawley will review Springfield Catholic files”.

The headline on the actual story page is much clearer: Springfield-Cape Girardeau diocese to cooperate with Hawley’s clergy abuse investigation.

What’s the problem?

Springfield Catholic generally refers to the Catholic high school in town, as this other News-Leader story shows: Tyson Riley’s heroics give Springfield Catholic a thrilling win over Seneca.

The short, pretty headline on the home page makes it sound like the state Attorney General is reviewing the school’s files in particular, which it is not.

Poor form, Peter.

Dr. Johnson Not Cited

Internet hoaxers aren’t even trying any more.

An article on the Daily Mail (UK) Web site linked by Instapundit bears the headline Women DO judge men on their penis size: Researchers say it is ‘as important as a man’s height’.

However, one the Internet one should be skeptical of everything, especially those sourced like this:

Writing in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (a journal commonly known by its initials as PNAS), Brian Mautz, Bob Wong, Richard Peters and Michael Jennions use a clever experimental manipulation of computer-generated imagery – CGI – to test the effects of variation in penis size relative to height and torso shape (shoulder width relative to waist width) on the attractiveness of male bodies to women.

This cannot be real, can it?

I’ve looked at the universities listed with the authors, and only Richard Peters actually is at the place where it says he works (but he’s not in the Department of Zoology).

However, the study (and the news article) are three years old. So perhaps they moved on. If they ever existed.

You’re saying to yourself, Brian J. sure is working hard to discredit this study. Does it make him feel bad about himself?.

I’m not going to dignify that with a response.

Mindless Repetition vs. Allusion

The headline is Sweep, it is: Gordon, Volquez guide Royals past Twins 7-2.

Friends, countrymen, do you think the 20 something Web producer has mangled an allusion to The Jackie Gleason Show, where Jackie Gleason used the catchphrase “How sweet it is”? Do you think the phrase has been thrown into the blender of modern American culture over the last fifty years, divorcing it from its origins, so that people today almost repeat it without knowing where it came from?

If so, it’s quite the metaphor for modern America in so many ways, where current utterances and thoughts are far divorced from their origins.

Or I suppose the headline writer could have put those words together that way because Yoda would. But Yoda would have used the article in front of sweep.