St. Louis Post-Dispatch headline sez: 1969: A wild night on the Mississippi as the Becky Thatcher breaks free, and the Santa Maria sinks like a tub:
To be honest, I cannot conceive of how a tub sinks. Perhaps the headline writer is a fan of the 1986 film
: The Money Pit
Just kidding. The headline writer was probably not even born in 1986.
But it’s just as well that the Santa Maria replica sank in 1969. Otherwise, in 2020, someone would have to sink it for hatred and indigenous genocide donchaknow.
In other news, I probably saw
The Money Pit once in the 1980s. How I can remember that the tub sank through the floor is a miracle of teenaged neuroscience.
Woman who kept husband’s body in freezer sues Joplin Police Department
The better headline would be
Woman who kept husband’s body in freezer wants freezer, husband’s body back.
Because that is true.
The other day on the
Springfield News-Leader‘s home page:
Come on, you fresh product of j-school elsewhere, do some local history research.
Greene County, Missouri, named after
"Mean Joe" Greene, has an e at the end of the name.
I am pretty sure the forefathers of this great county were Steelers fans. Or Coke fans.
On an education article, no less:
Scientists Create Antibody That Defeats Coronavirus in Lab
I would have to infer from the headline that the Pekingese didn’t make it.
(Headline stolen from a friend’s Facebook page; my schtick recreated here for your amusement.)
DOJ says to ‘expect action’ on religious gatherings and social distancing regulation.
The news item comes from a tweet:
The Federal government is not going to act on religious organizations; it is looking to monitor
lower governments’ actions, that is, state and local governments’ enforcement on social distancing as it regards to religious organizations.
No doubt this is in response to anecdotal stories about governments ticketing drive-in services and whatnot.
However, the oversimplification in the headline makes it sound like the Federal government itself is getting ready to crack down on churches and synagogues. But that is not my reading of it.
Wildlife ranger mauled to death by shark on Great Barrier Reef was doing “dream job”
To be honest, I’ve never been mauled by a shark in a dream, but if I did, I would probably startle myself awake when the shark got really close.
There’s a reason that I’ve chosen a home thousands of miles from sharks.
ICYMI: Gov. Parson says he singed a sixth execute order during daily COVID update.
Our governor is so small government that he lights edicts on fire.
Wait, a minute, this just in: Naw, apparently it’s a typo in the headline. He signed the thing. Although it’s an order suspending late penalties for concealed carry licenses which is Missouri enough.
Apparently, in Britain, embarrassment is 10% as deadly as Coronavirus.
headline on and the article itself are a little more clear that it wasn’t the cops who were killed fifty years ago.
Catastrophic cold comes to Britain!
ICEBOX BRITAIN UK weather forecast – Snow to hit this weekend as temperatures plunge to bone-chilling 1C
Sweet Christmas, 1C is just a little above absolute zero, where all motion stops! Britain will be devastated!
Wait a minute, someone has just informed me that 1C is actually just above freezing. 1
K[elvin] on the other hand, is very cold indeed.
You know, I read somewhere that Britain once was a globe-striding colossus and that its photographers
once scaled the Himalayas practically barefoot for fun, but I’m having trouble believing that when its newspapers hype up 1C temperatures.
You know what we call 1C in Wisconsin?
I went to pick up my boys from school today, and it was 1C and raining.
And I didn’t put on a coat.
E.P.A. to Limit Science Used to Write Public Health Rules.
A new draft of the Environmental Protection Agency proposal, titled Strengthening Transparency in Regulatory Science, would require that scientists disclose all of their raw data, including confidential medical records, before the agency could consider an academic study’s conclusions.
So, basically, no more regulations made based on tl;dr interpretations of single, unrepeated studies.
So, you know, basically limiting
science to science and not desired interpretations leading to desired law.
Kincade Fire burns through California
Yes, I know, the “Painter of Light”
spelled his name differently. But why let that get in the way of a wry quip?
Someone has killed 42 wild burros in the Mojave Desert, and there’s a $50,000 reward.
That’s only like $1000 per donkey. I can see why the killer isn’t bothering to collect the reward.