On the News page of the New York Post today, we had this headline:
That particular word is flick, F-L-I-C-K. No matter what your first glance told you.
Fun With Kerning
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Category: Headlines
Well, Court TV Is On Cable
Unfortunate headline of the day, from FoxNews.Com yesterday:
Kobe Lawyers Want Sex In Trial
Here’s the interactive part of the blog–you get to make your own jokes.
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I’ll Fetch My Rifle
I think the St. Louis Major Case Squad is summining a posse. That’s what I get from this headline, most of the way down the page:
Man, I love those interns who write the headlines for the St. Louis Post-Dispatch‘s Law and Order section.
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Hope for Skinny People Everywhere
Scientists on way to developing obesity pill
(Link seen on Drudge.)
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Anarchy is Hiring
Halfway down the page, we’ve got this important bulletin:
Police seek public help in stabbing, robbery
Not really my skill set, but when there’s an opening in the shooting or vandalism, I’ll send in a resume.
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When is a Cliché Not a Cliché?
Obviously, when a 733t Skillz H34dl1ne Wr1t3r smears the pallete and mixes up some new metaphors, like in this St. Louis Post-Dispatch header:
Democrats shake up their slate
You see, you used to erase slates with an eraser or a cloth when you wanted to change information on them. But this headline writer updated the metaphor by including the shaking erasure style used by this new laptop called an Etch-A-Sketch. Apparently, this new gizmo has an LCD screen or something you can manually clear by, get this, shaking it!
By including it in the headline, this master craftsman ensure that today’s kids “dig it.”
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A Good Headline, Or, Well….
Taranto over at Best of the Web Today mocks this Reuters headline by saying “Where’d We Ship It Off To?”
But Taranto overlooks the true “beauty” of the headline: Its unironic use of the doublespeak Peace Troops.
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The Headline I Want To See
Uday, Qusay Ead-Day
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Porn Spam At Work Can Be Sexual Harrassment
Thank goodness lawyers are chasing parked ambulances on our behalf!
http://news.com.com/2100-1032-995658.html?tag=fd_lede1_hed
Carrying this to its logical conclusions, businesses will become reponsible not only for their workplaces, but any external communication within those workplaces. Unsolicited e-mail, obscene phone calls, billboards that employees can see from their windows….The sooner we’re working in sensory depravation tanks, the better for our employers’ legal departments.
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