To be able to say "Noggle," you first must be able to say "Nah."
Halfway down the page, we’ve got this important bulletin:
Not really my skill set, but when there’s an opening in the shooting or vandalism, I’ll send in a resume.
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Obviously, when a 733t Skillz H34dl1ne Wr1t3r smears the pallete and mixes up some new metaphors, like in this St. Louis Post-Dispatch header:
Democrats shake up their slate
You see, you used to erase slates with an eraser or a cloth when you wanted to change information on them. But this headline writer updated the metaphor by including the shaking erasure style used by this new laptop called an Etch-A-Sketch. Apparently, this new gizmo has an LCD screen or something you can manually clear by, get this, shaking it!
By including it in the headline, this master craftsman ensure that today’s kids “dig it.”
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Taranto over at Best of the Web Today mocks this Reuters headline by saying “Where’d We Ship It Off To?”
But Taranto overlooks the true “beauty” of the headline: Its unironic use of the doublespeak Peace Troops.
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Thank goodness lawyers are chasing parked ambulances on our behalf!
http://news.com.com/2100-1032-995658.html?tag=fd_lede1_hed
Carrying this to its logical conclusions, businesses will become reponsible not only for their workplaces, but any external communication within those workplaces. Unsolicited e-mail, obscene phone calls, billboards that employees can see from their windows….The sooner we’re working in sensory depravation tanks, the better for our employers’ legal departments.
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