Book Report: Raiders of the Lost Ark Storybook (1981)

Book coverAh, Brian J., isn’t this a children’s book? So it is; so it is. As you might recall, gentle reader, I am not above reading the storybooks of 80s movies; I read Tron: The Storybook in 2020–that long ago already? And I can lay my hands on Star Wars: The Storybook easily–I did so last year for a LinkedIn post. And I just read the novelization of the film and watched the real three movies (Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade) in 2024. So the material was relatively fresh.

I mean, these storybooks: Are they for kids who haven’t seen the movie yet? Such was the case for me and Star Wars. And I read the comic book before I saw Raiders of the Lost Ark. Or is it something to help you to remember the film, kind of like a souvenir book you pick up at House on the Rock (or later because you find one in the wild)? I would guess the former rather than the latter.

Because the storybooks are built from early editions of the scripts, and you tend to have major variations. The Star Wars Storybook, for example, has a conversation between Wedge and Luke on Tatooine with a photo that indicates that the scene was shot but did not make the final cut of the film. This book never mentions the giant boulder in the South American temple that Indiana Jones has to run from–instead the temple just collapses right after he gets out. Other scenes are excised not only for brevity but because they’re not especially child friendly. We have photos from the drinking competition at The Raven in Nepal, but the scene itself is not there. The fight at the airfield that ends when the big German gets chopped up by the propeller is not there. Et cetera.

So: A quick read, a book logged on the annual list, and something like a completion–having read the comic, the novel, watched the film, and read the storybook…. Although is it really “complete” without a complete set of the trading cards and glass set that you could have gotten from a fast food restaurant (although a quick search of Ebay indicates these might not exist).

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Movie Report: Paris Holiday (1958)

Book coverThis is a Bob Hope film (which I picked up in Berryville, Arkansas, in 2024, but it’s also a Fernandel film, which it does not indicate on the cover–the cover says it stars Bob Hope, Anita Ekberg, and Preston Sturges. So I was a little confused when the main titles repeated Bob Hope Fernandel and then Fernandel Bob Hope. The gag, which played out whilst the tracking on the videocassette automatically adjusted with its crackle, buzz, and blur, was that the two comedians’ names were arguing over top billing in the film.

In it, Bob Hope plays a comedian/movie star on his way to Paris to buy a play from a famous playwright to use for a new movie. On the ship, he meets a beautiful State Department employee (played by Martha Hyer) and a famous French comedian (Fernandel). A beautiful woman (Ekberg) bumps into him and pockets his room key. She searches his luggage but cannot find what she is looking for. Hope’s character, Bob Hunter, macks on the embassy employee and hijinks ensue. When Hunter gets to Paris, he hangs with his new friend and makes headway on the macking, but “authorities” want him out of the country, and when he does not go, he narrowly avoids accidents that could kill him. He meets with the playwright, who explains (in not so many words), that the play is the MacGuffin, and Hunter can pick it up the next day at such and such place. So it’s a race to get the MacGuffin before the bad guys find it, and Hunter eventually does although sidetracked by being picked up for the murder of the playwright and then committed to an asylum because of his “delusions.”

So it’s a pleasant, lightweight movie. If you like Bob Hope–you’re old, man–you’ll like the film. It reminded me a lot of Charade, but this film came out five years earlier, so it’s not influenced by or taking on the Cary Grant film.

I said it’s also a Fernandel film because some of the film is in French, and although some spots have subtitles, many do not. So I’ll bet that the French got to see additional jokes fitting with Fernandel’s line than the Americans did.

But: The real controversy is Anita Ekberg or Martha Hyer?

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Movie Report: The Cowboy Way (1994)

Book coverWell, since I’m apparently in the mood to watch Woody Harrelson play Woody Harrelson (see also Zombieland), why not pop this film, which I bought last April–not long before Zombieland, which explains why they were both on the top of the cabinets. Looking at what I bought at the same estate sale and yard sales, it looks like I’ve made pretty good progress on the films–maybe soon, they will only be stuffing one cabinet and atop only a single other! Although the Lutherans for Life sale is this year, and I might find Cool Hand Luke or any number of other films that I might want to watch someday. Which, sometimes, comes. After all, nothing particular triggered my desire to watch Zombieland and The Cowboy Way. But I had them, and the time was right.

So: In this film, Woody Harrelson plays Woody Harrelson as a rodeo cowboy who is estranged from his best friend (Keifer Sutherland) and rodeo partner for missing the national championships, which they might have won and which would have provided Keifer Sutherland with a chance to put a down payment on a ranch. A common friend tries to get them to reconcile, but they do not, and the friend goes to New York where human smugglers have brought his daughter from Cuba–and now a young man in the rackets wants more money. This young man is not only going behind the crime leader’s back but also might want to keep the daughter for himself. When the friend does not contact Keifer Sutherland for five days, Keifer gathers Woody, reluctantly, and they head to New York City to find what happened to their friend and to find the daughter.

So the two real cowboys head to the big city and use their country ways to save the day. Ernie Hudson makes a welcome appearance as a mounted police officer.

I guess the critics didn’t like it, but I thought it was okay. Definitely a piece from its time when these lower-level b-style movies could get made and released. If it had been on Showtime a decade earlier, I probably would have watched it over and over again. Will I watch this over and over again? Well, maybe, someday. Or if I’m flipping through channels when on vacation someday, if I come across it, I’ll linger.

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Movie Report: Zombieland (2009)

Book coverWhen I bought this at the Lutherans for Life garage sale last year, I mentioned that I really don’t like zombie movies. This film really didn’t make me change my mind.

The front says it’s Superbad meets Shaun of the Dead. Having seen both, I assure you it is not. In it, Jesse Eisenberg plays Michael Cera–no, wait, maybe he’s playing Jesse Eisenberg, and Michael Cera and Jesse Eisenberg are actually the same person. At any rate, he’s a neurotic loser who has survived a couple months into a zombie apocalypse. He meets up with Woody Harrelson playing Woody Harrelson, or at least a zombie survivor who acts like Woody Harrelson. They’re headed to that rumored place where the zombie apocalypse didn’t occur–but they’ve heard different things. So they head east, and they meet up with Emma Stone in dark hair and raccoon eyes (I thought, at a quick glance at the cover, that it was Aubrey Plaza) and her sister who are con artists who trick them into giving up their guns and vehicle so they can make a trip out west to an amusement park where, it’s rumored, there are no zombies. In California, they decide to bunk at Bill Murray’s mansion, and they find Bill Murray made up to look like a zombie–because, he says, the zombies don’t bother the other zombies. Oh, and zombies, zombies, climax at the amusement park where the survivally instinctive turn on all the lights and rides and attract the attention of all the zombies in the city.

Eh. It’s amusing once or twice, but not that funny, although Bill Murray makes everything better. It’s more cartoonishly gory, but only in spots–maybe in this second quarter of the 21st century, I am getting inured to gore. Apparently, they made a sequel to it 10 years later, because I guess that’s what you do with zombie movies. The plot and a lot of it don’t make sense if you think about it, but you’re probably not supposed to.

So, I’ve seen it, and I’ve told you about it. Look at me participating in the popular culture these days, neh?

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A Pointer To My Content

Wilder Excalibur by the same director who did Zardoz, and I am here to tell you that I “just” watched the former in 2023 and the latter in 2024.

Yes, I do buy far more films on videocassette and DVD than I actually watch. Not unlike books. But I think, briefly, I am like the medieval monastery, storing up knowledge through the dark ages, and that dream will end at my estate sale.

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Thinking About Gary Coleman

I don’t know why I was thinking of Gary Coleman, specifically his movies, recently. Perhaps it was one of those things that came to mind in the middle of the night, when I tried to enumerate them in the darkness in the hours between sleep.

I mean, we know him from Diff’rent Strokes mostly. I remember those days, when I was a kid and thinking I was just like Arnold Jackson except I was white, the older brother, and I didn’t get adopted into a high rise apartment in New York. But otherwise I was the same kid.

The crossover events with other television shows, where Arnold Jackson showed up. Heck, I probably saw him most recently in Buck Rogers in the 25th Century when I watched the DVD series…. Gott in Himmel, I was watching it in 2004 and I recounted my progress in a series of blog posts 22 years ago. Heck’s pecs, he has run for governor of California in the interim. And died.

But, no, I was thinking about the movies and how I saw them on television in the day. On the Right Track (1981), a movie theater film. The Kid With The Broken Halo (1982) which was the basis for a brief cartoon when I was watching cartoons on Saturday mornings. The Kid with the 200 IQ (1983). The Fantastic World of D.C. Collins (1984). The dramatic turn as the firebug in Playing with Fire (1985). I can still see scenes from these films or their promos in my mind; shining shoes and crawling in a bus station locker in On the Right Track and flickering firelight on his face for Playing with Fire. I know I’ve seen these films; I’m less sure of The Kid from Left Field (1979), Scout’s Honor (1980), and Jimmy the Kid (1982), but…. Maybe? I mean, he was relatively everywhere in those years.

Maybe the films weren’t on heavy rotation on television in those days–I seem to recall them being on television as the movie of the week in prime time and a major event, such as things were when we had only three networks, PBS, two UHF stations, no cable to speak of. But I don’t remember seeing them available on home video, which was fairly new at the time. I guess some things are available–Ebay indicates you can find some of them on VHS and Betamax (man, I wish I’d kept the one I’d come across in my Ebay peddling days), but, day-um are they expensive. I will keep my eyes open specifically for them when I’m out and about.

And should I find one and pop it into a player, I do not doubt that 40+ years will fall off of me like autumn leaves for a little under two hours.

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Movie Report: Robin B Hood (2006)

Book coverAfter recently watching Fantasy Mission Force, I rediscovered this film. And in (fruitlessly) trying to find out when I bought it by searching the blog for its purchase at a book sale or antique mall, I discovered I have a lot of Jackie Chan films floating around.

This one is…. Well, it’s not young Jackie Chan. In it, he plays a part of a burglary trio where Landlord plots the heists and drives the getaway car and he (Jackie Chan’s Thong) and another guy (Octopus) are the inside guys. Thong and Octopus waste their share of the loot, but Landlord stashes his in his home. But after he’s burglarized himself and his millions are gone, he takes a job he normally would not: Kidnapping a baby for a triad boss who thinks that the baby is his grandson. It ties back to a hospital heist at the beginning when the baby was being born while the crew were stealing drugs, and they lost it when saving the baby from an initial kidnapping attempt. When they kidnap the child, they have to take care of it whilst Landlord sets things up, and it makes them realize they’re missing something–Thong is estranged from his father because of his profession, and Octopus has left a wife in the hinterlands for his girl-chasing life in the city, and when she shows up in a chicken costume to announce she’s pregnant, he sends her away–but he comes to realize he’s missing that deep meaning of being a father. So–the middle part is them learning to handle a baby and whatnot, a bit of humor. The last part of the film is the delivery of the child to the crime lord who thought it was his grandson and the aftermath of learning the baby was not–which involved a bunch of kung fu fighting, some gun play, and a resolution where all parties were reconciled after a while.

So: Okay, maybe it has a bit of the Chinese sensibility, but the film does not make westerners out as the bad guys, so perhaps it was targeted for internal audiences more than international distribution. Or maybe my assertion that Chinese films of the 21st century favor Westerners as bad guys, especially when dealing with a larger scale plots always cast Americans or the West as antagonists and play up national unity against the outsiders, is incorrect.

The film fits in with what you expect from a Jackie Chan film, especially the Hong Kong work of the 1980s (Supercop, Police Story, Armor of God, etc.). All right, all right, purists: Police Story 3: Supercop which led to Supercop 2 which was not Police Story 4: Supercop 2. My point is these were set in the present day, not the past, like some of his earlier work.

Which reminds me: My collection of Jackie Chan films floating around don’t necessarily include the peak Jackie Chan. I’ve got Rumble in the Bronx. I’ve got the Armour of God films. I think I’m lacking in the Police Story line. I have a boxed set that I watched before reporting on movies (also Rumble in the Bronx). So I’d have to order them, as Stever did when he made the D&D group watch some videocassettes in 1994 which introduced me to Jackie Chan. Well, maybe, someday. When I’ve cleared some of the films, and Jackie Chan, films which are stacked still atop my to-watch cabinet.

But enough about that. You wanted to learn more about Charlene Choi, ainna?
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Movie Report: National Lampoon’s Pledge This! (2006)

Book coverI got this DVD a year ago, and in that post, I again acknowledged that I’m a bad sucker for films badge National Lampoon’s. They really are a mixed bag; some, like Adam and Eve or Dirty Movie have heart and/or are transgressively funny in a way most R-rated comedies are not. Some, though, are just “meh” like Holiday Reunion. As this film stars Paris Hilton, well, I expect I knew what I was in for.

Paris Hilton plays the head of an exclusive sorority at a south Florida university. They’re finalists in competition for FHM‘s hottest sorority. Another group of girls, a collection of misfit stereoarchetypes are left homeless when their dorm is closed due to a incredible (literally: unbelievable) plumbing mishap, so they decide to pledge to sororities. The group includes an older woman whose husband cheated on her, so she got a boob job and wants to go to college to bang as many bros as she can; an Indian woman; a girl from the country; a tough girl; a fat girl; etc. They visit a number of sororities with attempted-humor schticks, and they finish with Paris Hilton’s sorority, and just as they’re about to get laughed out, one of the girls who knew one of the outcasts in 9th grade reminds Paris Hilton that FHM wants to see some diversity in the group. So they take them on, and they have to go through hazing, parties, college scenes, etc.; the sorority wins the competition, kicks the outcasts out (and they plan their revenge), and her “sisters” see that Paris Hilton made it all about her, hoping to launch a modeling career. When the outcasts replace her demo reel with a series of photos from her awkward youth, she has a change of heart and all is well.

And, you know, this comes right at the peak of the Paris Hilton thing. It Girl, sex tape, The Simple Life, her musical career…. And, in this film, one gets the sense that she does not take herself seriously. Probably not in the reality show, either–she might have been playing a character named Paris Hilton. Not something you got out of the tabloid coverage at the time. So my initial (and long-held) impressions might have been incorrect. My “That’s hot” impression, though, remains spot on because I’m not sure I’ve ever seen it to disprove my assertion in my own mind.

To be honest, it took me two tries to get through the film. One night, months ago, I got to the setup plumbing mishap and stopped the DVD right there, thinking that I had something, anything better to do than watch it. Second time’s the charm, I guess, as I powered through.

The film did have Noureen DeWulf in it, though.
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Movie Report: Fantasy Mission Force (1983)

Book coverI got this film three years ago, and since I have been watching films with and/or about Bruce Lee, I popped this film in and…. what did I just watch?

This is a direct-to-video or direct-to-cable kind of movie, something that might have appeared on USA Network’s Up All Night program where they played outlandish films like Hell Comes to Frogtown or Surf Nazis Must Die. Heck, maybe they did play it at some point.

So, the plot: In World War 11 II, four allied generals are captured by the Japanese. A, erm, Chinese military man puts together a band of misfits to attempt a rescue, including a varmint, a con man, a guy who is dressed like Elvis, a couple of gay-coded, kilt-wearing members of the British Indian forces (I presume), a woman whom I thought was actually the hero, and a couple other interchangeable pieces, none of whom is Jackie (or Jacky) Chan. The first part of this film is the assembly of this group, after nixing James Bond, Snake Plissken, Rocky (I guess Rambo: First Blood Part 11 II was not yet the phenomenon)–no fooling, they’re offered as possible rescuers but are rejected–the first part, then is the, what, Allied authorities capturing these brigands to carry out the raid. Jackie Chan and a partner appear as grifters as well, but they’re not part of the main group–they just want to recoup the money they lost in a grift-within-a-grift, so they’re following the group. After assembly, the group travels toward the place where they think the generals are being held, and they visit–and destroy–a village of cannibalistic martial arts women and then a haunted house, where each individual is tempted in his or her own way by undead creatures, and then they get to the final destination to find a bunch of dead Japanese, and then they’re attacked by Japanese Nazis in 70s muscle cars festooned with Nazi swastikas, and then they’re all slaughtered except for Jackie Chan and his partner, who learn that it was all a double-cross from the beginning.

The film was dubbed from the original Chinese, and I do so wonder what might have changed in the translation. Perhaps not much, as outlandish as it was in English.

I invited my boys to watch the film because, hey, Jacky Chan, but I’m glad they demurred (as they always do, now). Because they were not steeped in the direct-to-cable schlock in the 1980s and they would not have been acutely amused to watch something like it. Will I watch it again? Probably not, but one never knows.

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He’s Talking About The Last Chase, Isn’t He?

Adaptive Curmudgeon yesterday:

In 1981 the nerdiest Canadian rock band to ever exist released Red Barchetta. I loved it. I still do.

It’s the story of a young man who lives in a dystopian future. His uncle possess a glorious little sports car but “motor laws” have outlawed(?) such things. As any true rock protagonist should, he ignores this and goes tearing through the countryside in the beautiful mechanical delight. Shortly a “gleaming alloy aircar” appears, then a second, both intent of destroying him and his little car. The antique sportscar enthusiast outdrives the behemoth machines and flits back to safety at his uncle’s farm.

Being Gen X I’d been hammered about environment since I was born. I assumed “motor laws” were an environmental thing. Later I read the sci fi story that was the song’s inspiration.

He’s talking about a Rush song. But he’s also talking about the Lee Majors film The Last Chase, ainna? It also came out in 1981, and I saw it several times at the home of the family friends who had HBO.

Interesting: I thought I’d mentioned seeing this movie before because it was set way in the (then) future of 2011 and because they were taking the red car to “free California” which was the opposite of the totalitarian state they were fleeing (which followed a viral pandemic). But a quick search of the archives indicates I have not yet mentioned it. Or that my blog does not want me to find it.

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Movie Report: The Legend of Bruce Lee (2009)

Book coverAh, gentle reader. I seed my stacks with things which will only later become imperative. For example, at the Friends of the Springfield-Greene County Library in autumn 2023, I bought this DVD (and thought it was a documentary). And this year, I read Be Water, My Friend by Bruce’s daughter Shannon, which inspired me to watch the Bruce Lee movies I bought in February 2025 (The Big Boss, Fist of Fury, Way of the Dragon, Game of Death, and Game of Death II, the last two completed after he died–and the very last made without any footage that Lee shot for the film). So, when I was rifling through the unwatched videos and came across this disc, oh, yeah, I had to watch it and right now.

Although I thought it was a documentary, it is not. It is a fictionalized account of Bruce Lee’s life. And I watched for what seemed a very long time on Saturday night, and I started to wonder if it was a miniseries. Ah, The Legend of Bruce Lee was a Chinese television series. Which explains why every once and a while the music would swell (the theme song sung by Shannon Lee? I cannot find confirmation or refutation of the thesis, but I’m not going to spend an hour on it for a movie review that three people will read, and two of them are mes of the future) after a bit of a climax, but then we’d get another scene starting somewhere else. The Wikipedia for the television series indicates it had seven segments with numerous episodes per segment–50 in all? So I thought on Sunday night I would have another three hours to go since I was but through the fourth segment (the first four being, according to Wikipedia, “High School in Hong Kong”, “Late Adolescence in America”, “College Years and Opening a Kung Fu School”, and “Oakland”). I expected I would need to get through three segments (“Hollywood”, “Rise to Fame in Hong Kong”, and “International Fame and Death”). Oh, but no: This was but a three-hour feature film cut from the whole television series.

Which explains a lot of jumps in the film. Reading the summary, we get jumps from Hong Kong to Seattle–not much of the late Adolescence or Oakland portions (part 2 and part four) if any. It’s a rather simplified version of his story, or at least the highlights from Be Water, My Friend, although Wikipedia’s entry on Bruce Lee includes details that Shannon Lee’s book did not and which might or might not be true. And in the film I watched, not only are Seattle-Oakland-San Francisco blurred, but the last three sections go by very quickly, too–we go from him beating “Yellow Skin,” a lifetime rival who almost paralyzed Lee after a bout. I thought Be Water, My Friend put it on a weightlifting accident, but which is the real story and which is the legend? And right after the swelling music and advanced cinematography which indicated this was A Moment (and perhaps end of a section), we cut to an ambulance and Bruce Lee’s death, and finis! Wait, what?

As it’s a 21st century work, you still get bits of the China versus the West bits that mar 21st century Chinese martial arts films. Some of it probably are apropos, given that parts of the film took place in Hong Kong and Chinatowns in the middle of the 20th century, but the heavy thumb on the scale undercuts the other, more universal, themes in it, an outsider or a man going against the system and trying to improve himself and the world. One of the things that have made Bruce Lee endure as an icon for a small guy beating great odds.

But, eh, you’re probably better off spending time with the actual Bruce Lee films. Especially as Bruce Lee, the man, has been re-written into Bruce Lee, the legend. Which might or might not be true, and for better or for worse depending upon the needs of the moment. At least with the films, you know they’re fictional.

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Movie Report: GoodFellas (1990)

Book coverI got this film on a spree at Relics three years ago, and looking at the list of films I got, I’m pleased to say that I’ve watched maybe half of the 29 I bought. Which is pretty good for me, but the number of yet-to-watch films atop the cabinets has grown quite a lot despite those efforts.

So: The film’s protagonist, as it were, is Henry Hill, played by Ray Liotta, a half-Irish kid growing up in the middle fifties in sight of the local mob guy’s restaurant. He starts running errands for him, growing into a hijacker role along with full-Italian Tommy DeVito (not the quarterback) played by Joe Pesci and Jimmy played by Robert DeNiro. The first third tells about how they come up, the second kind of about a big heist they do and its aftermath, and then the final third is Hill going up for something and getting into the drug trade behind bars–and the final climax is a day where it all falls apart for him. Deep in the drug trade–against the wishes of Paulie, the neighborhood mob boss–he is hoping for a big score but the cops bust him, and he turns on and testifies against his former colleagues.

When I bought the film, Friar commented:

Goodfellas is like the anti-Godfather. No romanticized wiseguys, just crooks.

And I kind of agree with it. It looked like Hill might be the conscience of the group, maybe balking at how violent the groups became coming into the 1970s, at odds with his romanticization of them from his youth, but…. Nah. The film starts in media res, with the trio driving and hearing something in the back of the car–the dead body in the trunk wasn’t dead, and Jimmy and Tommy dispatch it further–and the first part is flashback leading up to that moment, and when the film catches up with it, I expected…. I dunno, something other than same old, same old with the latter dipping into the drug trade and then a rather abrupt jump into the passage of time to the final act where Hill has been too much into his own product and is strung out and under heavy suspicion. And then he testifies, and then he’s a schnook like the rest of us. So, ultimately, he is not the conscience of the film.

The film is based on an autobiography or memoir named Wiseguy by a former gangster. The film, of course, could not bear that title because the Ken Wahl television series claimed that title in the middle 1980s–perhaps also inspiried by the book, but more likely the free-flowing mob fascination of the era.

The film has punched above its weight, though, remaining timely at least through the two memes that one sees on the Internet even today. Tommy Gets Whacked and the over-the-top laughing image (although one still hears “Funny? Like a clown?” from the same scene from time-to-time). So people recognize images of it without, perhaps, understanding the context of the images, even now. Like so much of an Internetified education.

It took me two nights to watch the film for the oddest of reasons. Halfway through the movie, the screen went blue, and as my beautiful wife was home from her whatever that night, I didn’t look into it further, but apparently, for some reason, they put half of the movie on the back side of the DVD, so I had to flip it like a flippin’ laser disc. I dunno, maybe this is how media companies mark a serious mob movie–I have a set of The Godfather films which are on two VHS cassettes (because they’re recorded on the slow setting for better fidelity) which I watched almost five years ago and I think I have a two-VHS version of Casino around here somewhere, tentatively scheduled for viewing in 2031 because I go five years between mob movies apparently. But I’ve not seen that on DVDs before.

So: Well, one more down, which leaves only 8 of the 28 films I bought that day atop the cabinet (amidst dozens of others I have bought since then). Which I count as progress. But next month has two book sales, so….

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Movie Report: Be Big! (1931)

Book coverTechnically this is not a movie; it’s a 30 minute short which would have played part of a whole package including a main feature (or two!) in the theaters during the Great Depression. I bought it last August, and it kinda filled that spot where I kinda wanted to watch a film in the evening and kinda wanted to read. I could watch this (and have material for a blog post) and read after. Which I did!

You know, when I was a kid in the 1970s, Laurel and Hardy shorts and movies were still on television. And some people did not lose anything in watching it because secondary televisions (and sometimes even then primary televisions–we were not middle class in the suburbs somewhere where color television was guaranteed). But when I was under 10 years old, I lacked the patience to watch these older films (which includes the other pairings like Abbott and Costello, Ma and Pa Kettle, or groups like the Marx Brothers). But now that I am an old man and have more patience but less actual time to just zone out in front of the television, I often pick these old movies. Perhaps to capture a little flavor of my youth or something.

At any rate, this film, as I mentioned, is 30 minutes long. Laurel and Hardy and their wives are about to take a trip to Atlantic City for the weekend, but just as they are leaving, one of the guys at the lodge calls and tells Hardy about the party they’re throwing that evening. So Hardy fakes an illness and gets Laurel to take care of him for the weekend so they can go to the party. The wives go away, and then Laurel and Hardy try to dress in their lodge gear (which looks like jockey outfits), but Hardy has trouble with his boot, and discovers it’s Laurel’s boot, and a full half of the run time is slapstick of trying to get the boot on and then the boot off. The wives miss the last train to Atlantic City and decide to return, and they discover the ruse.

That’s it. A bunch of slapstick, tripping, walking into walls, and a little slapping/pushing of Laurel. A little of Laurel doing the whimpering that must have inspired Beaker on The Muppet Show. The boot gag probably went on too long, but it was the 30s, man. Sensibilities must have been different.

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Movie Report: Game of Death (1978) and Game of Death II (1980)

Book coverBook coverThese are the other two Bruce Lee films from the box set I bought (The Big Boss, Fist of Fury, and Way of the Dragon were the first three). Bruce Lee only made three films–the previously noted titles–and although he started Game of Death in 1972, it was re-imagined after his death using footage they’d filmed and “doubles” for him. The second one was made using body doubles and clips from other films. So when I watched Fist of Fear, Touch of Death in 2024, I didn’t realize that there was a whole industry of remixing Bruce Lee material into new movies.

So, in Game of Death, Bruce Lee is Billy Lo, an international martial arts film star whom the syndicate wants a piece of. I say “is” instead of “plays” because the scenes he shot were apparently for a film with a different plot entirely, and it’s only in the remixing that they got meta with it. The confrontations with the syndicate become serious so after he is shot, Lo fakes his own death to get revenge and to protect his girlfriend played by Colleen Camp (whom we saw in DARYL and who contributed a song to the soundtrack, I think). Also, parenthetically (but I already used parentheses in the previous sentence, so I have to just say parenthetically in this sentence), although she has scenes with Billy Lo, she did not have any scenes with Bruce Lee because he was long dead. At any rate, the climactic scene finds Bruce Lee ascending the levels of a Chinese restaurant to get to the big boss, and one of the level bosses is played by Kareem Abdul Jabbar. So if you’re keeping score, Lee defeated Kareem, and it was Arnold Schwarzenneggar who defeated Wilt Chamberlain in Conan the Destroyer.

So part of the film was, again, meta as I was watching to see where Bruce Lee actually appeared. And it’s in several of the fight scenes, including the final assault on the Chinese restaurant. But otherwise it was (apparently) two other martial artists playing in disguise, filmed from behind, and a variety of other tricks to try to hide that it wasn’t Lee.

Game of Death II has Lee as Billy Lo again, but not the same Billy Lo. He’s friends with a martial arts master, Chin Ku, who is getting challenged to fight to the death a bunch recently as is Lo. Chin dies, and, at the funeral, a helicopter flies over with a Skill Crane cage and snatches the coffin, and Lo leaps onto it, but falls to his death when struck by a dart. Which is how they turn the film over to Lo’s younger brother, a ne’er do well who was not studying kung fu very dilligently. He goes to the compound of a rival martial arts master, who is a suspect but is cleared by getting killed in his sleep. Lo suspects the one-armed valet, whom he finds at a nearby temple and discovers the man has two arms after all–and the temple is the entrance to the Tower of Death, which is an futuristic underground bunker. Lo2 fights his way in, discovers Chin faked his own death because he’s a drug kingpin whom Interpol was closing in on, and they have a long fight where Lo triumphs.

Wow, this really was a cash-in. And low budget. We get scenes where Bruce Lee is talking to a mentor, and then they switch to a closeup of the mentor delivering lines pertaining to this plot, and it’s obviously a different guy. We get some of the filmed-from-behind, big sunglasses, and distant shot scenes to fill in gaps in the Billy Lo portion of the program. We get the changing shirt colors on Bruce Lee when two different films are spliced together. We get a lion attack where it’s obviously a guy in a lion costume. Jeez, Louise, I should have waited to watch Kung Pow: Enter the Fist until after I watched this film so I could see exactly what they were spoofing.

At any rate, I feel some sense of accomplishment in finishing the boxed set, and I’m kind of glad it wasn’t an Urban Action Cinema Collection kind of thing where I had to get through 15 movies. I like martial arts films, but watching too many of them in a row gets a little tedious. But, as I said, I feel a sense of completion from making it through the set, and I could use that.

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Movie Report: Way of the Dragon (1972)

Book coverThis is the third of the Bruce Lee movies in the boxed set I bought in 2025 (The Big Boss and Fist of Fury were the first two), and it’s the last one he finished before he died. “Last one” makes it sound like he made a lot of movies, but he really did not–they just made a lot of movies with him in them.

So: In this film, Bruce Lee plays a young Hong Kong man sent to Rome to help with some ex-pats who have started a Chinese restaurant but are running into trouble from “the syndicate” who are trying to muscle in. The young men who work for the restaurant are trying to learn karate to protect the restaurant, but Lee’s character shows them that kung fu is better. So we have some confrontation with various toughs of the syndicate culminating in the well-known–well, among people who watch martial arts films–fight between Lee and Chuck Norris at the Colliseum. Which Lee wins, but it helped Norris break into film, so really, we’re all the winners, ainna?

It was the last on he finished according to the Internet–he’d taken a break from The Game of Death to film it but died before resuming that film (we’ll talk about that by and by).

So, yeah, if you’re into martial arts films, you really probably ought to see it. I’ve seen assertions that Lee’s films defined or redefined the genre, and I won’t argue the counterpoint.

I do want to point out that all three films to this point have starred Nora Miao as the love interest such as they were.

Continue reading “Movie Report: Way of the Dragon (1972)”

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Movie Report: Fist of Fury (1972)

Book coverWell, after hearing “Fists of Fury” on the radio, I guess it’s fitting to watch the film which was the second in the five-pack I bought last February (The Big Boss was the first in the set).

This film, which came out the year after The Big Boss, also has a common martial arts theme to it: The rival martial arts school kills/destroys the protagonist’s school. In this case, Bruce Lee’s character, the best in the school, returns from afar to find that his master has died–the authorities say from pneumonia, but Lee’s Chen thinks it was murder. So it happens. The film is set during the Japanese occupation of China around World War II, so the rival school is also a rival power/oppressor. The rival school crashes the funeral to boast of their prowess, but the senior student at the Chinese school, now the master, holds Chen back and does not want conflict. Chen goes and busts up the rival school, though, leading to further escalations. And he discovers insiders poisoned the master at the behest of the Japanese, so he gets revenge on them and, eventually, all the Japanese and a visiting Russian master of martial arts and strongman.

So, yeah, a martial arts film. With Bruce Lee, so a step above, I guess. The most noteworthy thing about it, though, is that the antagonists are not “The West” or “The Americans” unlike more modern martial arts films partially subsidized by the Chinese government (or allowed, perhaps).

Two down, and three to go. I’m kind of spacing them out because they are likely to be very similar to one another and to other martial arts movies from the pre-wire era. Looking at his IMDB page, he really did only make…. four movies in his lifetime? Incredible. He punched above his weight, literally and figuratively.

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Movie Report: The Big Boss (1971)

Book coverSo after completing the 2026 Winter Reading Challenge, the first thing I watched was a Bruce Lee movie, one of the ones in the set I bought last February. You see, Be Water, My Friend truly was inspiring. Although I am not doing 100 punches or 500 punches every day, I did get into this film set. We can only speculate on how fast I get through the other four movies in the set; although I finished the winter reading challenge six days ago, and I was eager to watch some videos to change the tamber of the evenings, I have been compelled to finish Perelandra, the middle book of C.S. Lewis’s Space Trilogy, which was a bit of a slog. Maybe I’ll watch more films and television the next time my beautiful wife travels.

I think I’ve seen this film before, but I don’t think I have it on my shelves already, which would have meant I would have recorded it digitally in the era when I could do that. Or maybe martial arts films of the era have very similar plots. In this one, Lee moves across the water (a ferry is involved) and in with his cousins, promising his uncle that he will not fight any more–apparently, he’d been a bit of a fighter back home, and he’s moving for a fresh start (implied). They get him a job working with them at the ice factory, which is really an ice distribution center which cuts ice from large blocks in storage and ships it. When two of the cousins discover packets in the ice, they’re invited to The Manager’s Office. He offers them money, and when they decline, a group of men befall them and kill them after some kung-fu fighting. The cousins are worried and ask about them, but they trust The Manager even as other cousins disappear. But when the remaining cousins are killed in their home except for the pretty cousin who is kidnapped, then Bruce Lee’s character goes to the home of the Big Boss, the factory’s ultimate owner, and has to face him and his flunkies in combat.

So, yeah, pretty much what you would expect from a martial arts film plus Bruce Lee. The plot’s a little head-scratching–people from the family start disappearing, and they go to work and ask The Manager to intercede, and he reports that the Big Boss is talking with the authorities, and they all let that ride? Perhaps that’s a cultural thing from Hong Kong in the late 1960s or something. But I don’t think that’s how we would handle it in America, Jack.

At any rate, an amusing spectacle in the time before we had UFC fights to show up how those things would really go, and even UFC is a little gamified as to what various Internet videos show us fights to be (nasty, brutish, and short). But pretty to look at. They feature a lot of jumping over opponents, which I presume was mere camera work at this time and not wire work that would come later as usually you only see the jumper in the shot and not the jumpees.

But. I have four more to watch, and I’ll watch them sooner rather than later. The regular regimen of hundreds of punches a day? Should, but probably won’t.

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Someone’s Trying To Be A Chuck Norris Superfan

Powerline’s Week in Pictures presents a meme with Chuck Norris in it:

I’m pretty sure that’s a still from Invasion USA. Jean jacket and black truck.

Is that the mark of an Internet TrueFan™? Or just the fact that I “just” watched Invasion USA two years ago, and it’s the most recent thing I’ve seen Chuck Norris in?

You know, I’m kind of looking forward to watching a movie or two when I’m not grinding through the 2026 Winter Reading Challenge. Given that I finished my twelfth book and started my thirteenth or fourteenth (I have started two in the categories but am not sure which of these I will finish first–probably the one I started last night), I might not be far from watching some television or movies. Not as close to eating pizza (today is the last day of the Whole 30 for me, so tomorrow I will look like White Goodman at the end of Dodgeball), but soon.

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Movie Report: I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007)

Book coverI think of this as a later Adam Sandler film, which is odd, because he has continued to act in a pile of films since then, but before this you’ve got almost an annual film that became a classic, including Happy Gilmore, The Wedding Singer, The Waterboy, and lesser films that still were pretty big hits. Around the end of the first decade of this century, though, he mixes in some dramas and the comedies are a little more spaced out. And then he signs with Netflix, which really dropped him off of my radar (unless I’m over at my brother’s house, I guess). But, somehow, this film is 18 years old. Almost black-and-white, although it came out well into the 21st century.

So: In this film, Sandler plays Chuck, a womanizing firefighter. Kevin James plays Larry, his best friend, a widower with two kids. In a hazardous situation, Larry saves Chuck’s life, so Chuck owes him. Due to a paperwork error, Larry cannot assign his benefits and life insurance to a trust for his children which means they would get nothing if he died–so he enlists Chuck to enter into a domestic partnership/civil union with him so that Chuck can be the beneficiary. Although they thought they could keep it on the down-low, an investigation leads their firehouse to learn of it, which has two effects: The gay firemen are inspired to come out, but the others are no longer comfortable with Chuck and Larry. Jessica Biel plays a gay-friendly attorney (straight) who helps them on their case, but Chuck takes a shine to her. Hijinks ensue, and a dramatic courtroom scene ends the major drama and a gay wedding ends the film.

I suppose the film drew its share of ire for being about straight men pretending to be gay, but it’s definitely gay-positive in its tone and message. Of course, that might require more intellectual work to evaluate the message instead of reflexively condemning it.

Still, I wouldn’t call this one of my favorite Sandler works. Somewhere below Little Nicky and Don’t Mess with the Zohan but on par with Happy Gilmore 2 (ahut).

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