To be able to say "Noggle," you first must be able to say "Nah."
Somehow, I ended up as a search result for:
entrails of a beautiful woman
Ugh. Someone in China is very, very sick. Or is working in the organs-harvested-from-undesirables bank and is very, very lonely. And very sick.
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Musings from Brian J. Noggle: Your #1 Internet Source for "hate technical writers".
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Apparently, I’m the number 11 Google hit for how is the heroin getting into milwaukee.
I guess I’ll get a little extra scrutiny now. Thanks, Google.
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Who’s the number one Google hit for "anti robot bigotry"?
MfBJN, of course.
The number 2 hit? Some obscure academic’s Web site.
I bet I beat him for Samus Aran naked, too.
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Congratulations to Ty Burr of the Boston Globe who found this book report even though it was listed on page 19 (191-200) of the Google search results.
Thanks for stopping by, Mr. Burr.
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Whereas Musings from Brian J. Noggle is sort of grateful for the traffic represented in its semi-dominant position as seventeenth in the Google search for where to buy heroin in oakland ca, we on the staff prefer to think our law enforcement officials have more competence than to simply monkey-type searches in the search engines as part of a complete investigation.
Thank you, that is all.
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To quote a fellow award-winning blogger, THE REAL HONOR IS BEING NOMINATED, but it’s nice to be number one on the Google search for a website that has werd freaky things on it.
Thanks, searcher, but do remember to offset the aside with commas and make Web site two words: a Web site that has, werd, freaky things on it.
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Wow, I’m the 63rd hit. Normally, you only find that sort of dedication in crank users.
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Brian J. Noggle: #3 Yahoo! hit for steamy guy pic
For those of you who cannot get enough, here it is again:
On the other hand, no thanks to Mamma, who lists me as the number one hit for Brian humping Louis. Contrary to the evidence, my relationship with the Tri Lambda was purely plutonic, and although we did take a long hike together, we did not stop to “smell the flowers.”
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Apparently, this blog is the only search result on Yahoo! for:
"how to get your wife to agree to a threesome"
Buddy, shouldn’t you have asked her if she wanted children before you married her?
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Who else could follow in the footsteps of Vin Diesel and Ice Cube but a young, tow-haired boy and his imaginary tiger?
Because I cringe at speculation about what else that particular searcher was seeking.
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Somehow, some way, this blog is the number 1 search hit on Yahoo! for:
when your husband thinks you are better than him
I plead innocent, honey.
Update: Certain elements of the household have shown me how, due to the unique nature of Yahoo! algorhthyms, this result isn’t always number one on different computers, even different computers in the same house. Ah, well, obviously I’ve already had the incident purged from my record.
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Based on the number of Google searches that have lead to this post, I propose Noggle’s First Law:
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I don’t know who’s doing the research for a patriarchy-shaking academic paper about shub-niggurath and gays, but I welcome that reader. Unfortunately, I have never covered the Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young and homosexuals in the same post before now.
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I don’t know how I feel about this hit:
| Domain Name | uscourts.gov ? (United States Government) |
| IP Address | 208.27.x.x ? (ARIN – North America) |
| Language Setting | English |
| Operating System | Microsoft Win2000 |
| Browser | Internet Explorer 5.5 Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 5.5; Windows NT 5.0) |
| Time of Visit | Mar 21 2005 7:44:41 pm |
| Last Page View | Mar 21 2005 7:44:41 pm |
| Visit Length | 0 seconds |
| Page Views | 1 |
| Referring URL | http://www.technorat…rl=Schiavo&start=200 |
| Visit Entry Page | http://stlbrianj.blo…5_03_20_archive.html |
| Visit Exit Page | http://stlbrianj.blo…5_03_20_archive.html |
| Time Zone | UTC-5:00 EST – Eastern Standard EDT – Eastern Daylight Saving Time |
| Visitor’s Time | Mar 21 2005 8:44:41 pm |
That’s someone with the Federal court system doing a Technorati search on the name Schiavo.
Pleasepleaseplease do not reach a precedent-setting judicial decision based on what the blogosphere says.
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Today’s search hit from Yahoo:
greeting cards, Can I trust you again ?
Look right next to the I’m Sorry You’re A Male Slut cards. Because you know no man wanted to want a greeting card to prompt a reconciliation like this.
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MfBJN: Your number one Yahoo! hit for:
brian looks like long term methamphetamine
Thank you, thank you. But I must confess, it’s only the two pots of flavored Gevalia Kaffe coffee I drink every day, not crystal meth.
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Contrary to what Google might imply and some Google user might suspect, I have never had sex with Chris Pronger.
Thank you, that is all.
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Why do I suspect that everyone who hit this site last night looking for information about field sobriety checkpoints in St. Louis had a more practical concern than whether their civil liberties are under assault by the practice?
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Search visit of the day: chai vang conspiracy.
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