Category: Searches

Well, it’s not a Washington Post 2004 Best Blogs – Politics & Elections Readers’ Choice Award, but I will take it:

Musings from Brian J. Noggle: Your #5 Yahoo! hit for make sex symbol.

Now that I have upgraded my Sitemeter account to make up for the impending demise of bStats, Blogger’s hit tracker, I get to see search engine search words. Clearly. Unfortunately for me.

Because I don’t want to know who’s searching for kangaroo copulation picture.

Sorry, nothing to report. I did, however, want to make this page in my archives the only Google hit for the search "Liz Phair" "Tony Twist" naked.

Sure, there’s nothing there now….but give me a few days.

Thanks, I needed that.

Apparently, you have reached the number two hit in Poland for proposal swapping my wife.

Not interested. Don’t offer. Go away.

Today’s Google Search: i wish i never won powerball.

Your humble narrator is currently the 36th hit.

Remember, wish for what you have, and you’ll be happy. Or content, or perhaps blithe.

Hey, I am number 2 for the Google Search "searching for yourself on google".

But who would search for that, using proper query syntax and all?

Attention, journalists: I can be reached via e-mail at stlbrianj@hotmail.com.

I am going to be FAMOUS now!

Musings from Brian J. Noggle: Your only Google hit for “Mike Danton” naked with “Samus Aran”.

Thanks to all my readers looking for naked pictures of the named individuals, who led me to deduce my own infamy.

Unfortunately, I score highly on:

• "+too+much+qa"
  Too much QA? There’s never enough QA, much less too much.

• leather-futures
  Perhaps I should be proud of this one. I am a Googlewhack.

I am only the number 8 Google hit for sexy grocery baggers.

I guess I better hit the gym with Heather more frequently.

MfBJN: Your #3 source on the Internet for pictures of gruesome jail inmate kills.

That’s on the $9.95 a month password-protected site. Order now!

I am the number 1 Google hit for Brian J.

In the coming year, I shall endeavor to warrant the attention and the respect my advertent and sometimes inadvertent branding demands.

Wow, I am number six on Google for john kerry fuck. Sweet. But you know what’s better?

In a couple days, I will be the only Google hit for "hot john kerry naked pix".

Kooky, baby.

This blog is the 130th result for the search stash safes.

A tip of the forty to the nutbar who is so interested in hiding drugs that he or she went through 13 pages of results to find this site.

And an extra tip, gratis. Tommy Chong has shown the error of selling drug paraphernelia on the Internet. You’re barking up the wrong trees, moondog.

Apparently I am the #10 Google hit for heroin warning signs.

Why would anyone think that?

Thank you, someone, for discovering that Musings from Brian J. Noggle is the #1 source for recreational cocaine lasik on the Internet!

I am sorry I cannot provide the answers you seek until you provide a bit more information.

Are you a person who uses cocaine “recreationally” and you want to know whether a little blow will affect your vision surgery, or a surgeon who wants to know if you’re really better at your job when you’re feeling schnucking GREAT, man?

Thank you.

If you’re searching for yourself on Google, remember to enclose your name in quotation marks to make it a phrase search. The results you get will be more relevant, which means that I am really posting about you. For example:

• Brian Noggle will return a boatload of pages which could include Brian Smith playing football against his high school’s nemesis Noggle. Werd, check it: Brian Moquist and Nathan Noggle (no relation) went to Baylor; Brian P. McCarthy and Roy Harris Noggle are AIA members in Arizona; and Brian Harvey wrote an article in which he quoted J. C. Noggle. All of these results are worthless, and could be winnowed from the search.
• "Brian Noggle", on the other hand, narrows the search to people named Brian Noggle, but I’ve never, I swear, played on a Thursday Night League, participated in a cowboy jamboree, or attended high school this century. But if you Googled "Brian Noggle", you’d get all of these things as well as my Web tracks.
• "Brian J. Noggle", on the other hand, poses a direct hit, as people from way back who’ve Googled me have undoubtedly discovered. I do write this blog, I did write white papers for MetaMatrix, wrote a skit for a theatre company I used to work with, got published in this magazine, and tried to convince myself and others that role-playing games offered good research potential for writers.

Just a thought for you fellows in the printed media who are Googling yourselves to see what people on the Web are saying about you. You know I mean you, Samus Aran naked.

My apologies to whomever searched for what is the difference between hasta luego and hasta la vista? and clicked through to find my review of Flappers 2 Rappers by Tom Dalzell.

Briefly, hasta luego directly translates into “Until then,” which is a casual farewell.

Hasta la vista, bebe directly translates into “Until the vision (or viewing),” which is a casual farewell. What is “the vision,” you might ask? The Rapture? Don’t ask me, Professor Michaels was too busy trying to knock the schwa out of our mouths and to make us understand that idiomatic expressions do not directly translate to explain the origin of Spanish idiom.

So there you have it. Both mean “Catch you later.” Except one’s “Take it easy” and the other is “Peace, out.”

Hope that clears it up for you.

Carp! I am #3 on the Google search for file swapping list. I just knew someday the RIAA would learn about this new-fangled “search engine” technology.

Sorry, honey, but they’re coming to take our house for my impudent keyword listing.

Final irony, of course, is the only music I have downloaded is Robynn Ragland‘s “The People You Know” from her Web site. I don’t even let my friends listen to my tapes or CDs for fear of violating my licensing restrictions, and I even forcibly prevent my gym-buffed wife from reading books I purchase for my own private, non-transferable enjoyment.

I am the number three hit on AOL’s search engine for step by step how your belly is peirce.

Well, however kids these days get exposed to Pragmatism, at least they’re getting exposed.