Feline Conspiracy Continues Apace

Tristan, the Emperor

Emperor Tristan I reports his plan for feline domination is continuing as scheduled:

  • Despite jingoistic propoganda to the contrary, cat scientists have beaten dogs to the secret of hypoallergenic pets:

    Cats produce a protein, FEL D1, that is an exquisite allergen for some sensitive individuals, meaning contact with a kitty results in streaming eyes, sneezing and general unhappiness on the human side of the relationship.

    In an effort to bring cats to the cat-challenged, Allerca, a San Diego-based biotech planned to harness gene silencing techniques to develop a breed of cat that did not express FEL D1, thus creating a hypoallergenic cat. Allerca announced their plans three years ago, [sic] and started collecting deposits from allergic cat fans, but have now decided that their plans to use RNA interference were taking a back seat to a more traditional breeding approach, albeit one that uses genetic testing to select individuals that express low levels of FEL D1.

  • Cats are working at the highest levels of the entertainment industry to infiltrate reality television:

    The fur really could fly on TV’s latest reality entry: It stars cats. Ten felines, picked from animal shelters nationwide, will live in a New York house to vie – a la “Big Brother” or “Survivor” – for a grand prize, in this instance an executive-level job with Meow Mix cat food.

All hail the wisdom of our feline overlords and get them bowls of Fancy Feast now!