If You Cannot Trust A Thirty-Something On TikTok, Whom Can You Trust?

Interior decorator reveals five ‘ugly’ things you should never put in your home — and you probably have all of them

Let’s treat this as a quiz, ainna?

Bolded are the things I have:

  • Televisions. We only have two: One in the upstairs living room which has not been used since 2020, when we played Karaoke Revolution on the PlayStation 2 as the kids’ music class during lockdown. We will probably remove it from the living room in the near future when I finally refinish the end tables and coffee table that I’ve been saving for a rainy day.
  • A Microwave. How do you say, “I’m urban, and I go out to eat/order delivery and then discard the remnants.” in TikTokian?
  • Laundry hanging to dry. We have wet towels, occasionally swimwear, and things that cannot go into the dryer hanging from convenient fixtures most of the time. Limited, I guess, by when our laundry equipment is down for one reason or another, which seemed all the time until we recently bought expensive “professional” quality things, which means “all the time” is postponed for a year or two.
  • Overhead lighting. Although we don’t tend to use it all the time, we have canned lights downstairs and fans upstairs. So we’re guilty of this. I’ve only recently discovered turning on lamps to diminish the darkness in the corners of the house.
  • Unused candles. We’ve got a dog candle that I bought for my sainted mother when I was eight at the Wisconsin State Fair and a scented candle my beautiful wife got as a gift somewhere in the little mirror shelf in our dining room, a pair of taper candles in holders that I inherited from my favorite aunt in the living room, and a heart candle-without-a-wick that I made for my beautiful wife as a gift when I was making candles (she does not like fire) in the bedroom. I think we have one or two others in our other knick-knack collection in the clock downstairs which I received as gift–maybe for being the best man at my brother’s first wedding? Regardless, they mean something and are personal relics. One presumes that a 35-year-old professional decorator, influencer, and TikToker is blessed to live in the eternal evanescent now. Although, to be honest, I don’t know him, but I’m not impressed with the depth of people who live on the Internet.

So a perfect five of five.

One wonders if books would come in sixth or seventh in the list, not to mention shelves of videocassettes, DVDs, record albums, or CDs on display. Or fitness equipment. Or, icky! sports team memorabilia (remember, gentle reader: You can see a Packers logo from just about any point in Nogglestead).

But I live in a house that I live in. Not one I’ve designed for Internet clout/clicks or even real-life approval by people who assess based on that sort of thing. If they don’t go to the bookshelves and see what kinds of books we have to make their determination, we don’t have them over. Which is why, I suppose, we don’t have people over. Or perhaps the ones who do come and would normally judge people by the books they have are overwhelmed at Nogglestead. I dunno. What was I saying?

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Not The Original

Facebook showed me this post for some reason:

I am not sure where this purported CD case comes from, but the actual soundtrack on CD only contains the first 11 tracks listed.

The “Bonus Tracks” are in the movie, but are not included on the soundtrack nor in the closing credits, which explains why VodkaPundit and I had a hard time learning about Leonard Cohen in 1993.

Maybe if I’d have clicked More…. I would have seen text to this effect.

Note that this soundtrack is on my top-five list of soundtracks of all time.

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Book Report: Brighter Days to Come by Salesian Missions (2020)

Book coverThis is a relatively recent (2020) hardback from the Salesian Missions collection of poems which I just bought in (May 2025, so just three months ago). Since I’ve gotten through my stack of Poetry magazines (and, finally, the complete works of Keats), I brought it up into the bedroom for the poetry nightcap.

And, gentle reader, you know I like Ideals magazine, and that’s what you’re getting in a collection like this. Poetry about seasons and about the relationship with God–moreso in this collection, as it’s produced by a Catholic organization as a fundraiser–but I get that in the grandma poetry chapbooks I also accumulate. These collections and Ideals are generally a cut above the self-published chapbooks (my own included?). It seems we get some overlap between the two, poets whose work appears in both (Grace E. Easley? Steven Michael Schumacher?)–but maybe I just read enough of these little collections that the names are just familiar only from Salesian publications.

So I enjoyed it as a light bit of a snack before bed, a ritual that winds me down for sleep.

The back flap had a long list of 128-page collections like this and regularly published pocket-sized books which I thought might be a checklist I could use to see how well my collection is going. But it might not be a comprehensive list–books I have reported on from the 20th century do not appear to be represented. Is it possible that they’ve published so many this century that they didn’t even have room for decades’ worth from last century? I guess someone knows, but not me.

At any rate, I recommend them. Perhaps I should send them some money as well to get the freshest works. It’s odd; subscribing to First Things and The New Oxford Review and, briefly, Touchstone have gotten me onto a lot of Catholic mailing lists, but not Salesian Missions.

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UNPRECEDENTED!!!! Then

The headline of the weather video says Heatwave bringing the hottest temperatures in years.

How many years? A century? Living memory? A quarter century (which is longer than living memory for most journalists, by the way)?

Two years. Which means it did not get this hot last year.

It’s the reverse Wobegon effect (where all the kids are above average). Everything must be the mostest, the extremist, the most estest, in history, especially in the news.

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Something’s Missing

My Congressman, whom I’ve met and whom I’ve impressed as a rightwing nutbar, has introduced some sensible legislation

Southwest Missouri Congressman Eric Burlison introduces bill to reign in federal spending:

Southwest Missouri Congressman Eric Burlison introduced a proposed amendment to the U.S Constitution aimed at reigning in federal spending.

KY3 Staff, interns, and/or AI, please enlighten us as to how amendments work:

In order for the amendment to initially pass, it requires a two-thirds majority vote from both the House and the Senate.

Not depicted: Ratification by the states.

Gentle reader, you may guess as to whether the writers thought that We don’t need to say it because everyone knows how it works or they didn’t know. You can probably guess how I would guess.

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Movie Report: Innerspace (1997)

Book coverI just bought this videocassette in June, so it was atop the cabinet and awaiting quick viewing since I’m too lazy to actually open the (glass-fronted stereo) cabinet holding years’ (decades’) worth of accumulated unwatched videos. And as I popped it in, I thought it was odd that I had never seen the film.

Ah, but as I watched, I realized this was, in fact, a film that appeared on Showtime back in the day, and I had seen it probably more than once albeit not in over 35 years.

So it’s a bit of an action/comedy take on The Fantastic Voyage. Dennis Quaid plays a former Navy pilot working with a lab team working on minaturization; the lab team is going to shrink him and inject him into a rabbit. Just as the experiment begins, though, the lab is attacked by a black ops crew working to steal the technology. The lead guy takes the syringe containing the shrunken pilot and capsule and flees, injecting them into a hypochondriac played by Martin Short (not to be confused with the hypochondriac played by Tom Hanks–have we really lost the stock comedic hypochondriac character? Probably.). They, helped by Pendleton’s (that is, Quaid’s) reporter girlfriend (played by Meg Ryan) have to retrieve a computer chip and re-enlarge Quaid before his air supply runs out.

So it’s a series of chases, impersonations, and comedy that turns out all right at the end.

The film has Robert Picardo in it, and although I saw the name in the credits, I didn’t recognize him. It also has Henry Gibson and Kevin McCarthy playing the kinds of roles they did. I see a lot of overlap in their film careers around this time and have learned that they must have been part of the Joe Danteverse, the director of this film and others like The ‘Burbs. I shall probably forget this trivia presently, but I bet you know what you’re getting when Joe Dante directed a film.

At any rate, not a bad way to spend a bit of an evening, but since I’m not trapped in a tin can in a trailer park in 1988 with nothing but Showtime to occupy me, I probably won’t watch it over and over again. Especially since I have a full cabinet and the tops of two littered with accumulated things to watch and another book sale bearing down on me in two weeks where I will likely add to the pile faster than I watch them.

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On Second Thought

Somewhere, I saw that there was a new theatre group in town doing Shakespeare, and I kinda put it in the back of my mind in case our August was not already busy enough.

I guess I’m glad I did not rush right out and buy tickets.

Oh, but of course they did.

They’re putting it on for themselves and their small circle, and part of the joy is in self-martyrdom when the public does not attend.

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On Simon & Schuster Sound Ideas: The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale (1987)

Book coverIt seems like I just re-read the actual book, but that was in 2020. I’m not sure at what garage sale I might have picked up this single audiocassette with no binder/folder, but our recent ride back from St. Louis (to see Herb Alpert as the ancients foretold), I popped it into the vehicle’s audio cassette player.

This is a condensed version of the book, and it’s read by the author. It has three “chapters” that distill some of the book’s contents into less than an hour and a single audio cassette. It covers, basically, the power of prayer, the power of reframing your mind with positive affirmation, and whatnot (he said, because a couple of days later he forgot one of the chapters). A female narrator, who introduces us the the Sound Ideas, offers some takeaways and exercises as well, but basically, they’re to reframe your thinking by repeating some of the uplifting Bible verses like “This is the day the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalms 118:24) and “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13) as well as studying some scripture for solace.

Some people have likely dinged Peale for his focus on calling upon “The Power” that God has given you–it seems a little gauche, perhaps, but some interpretations of the Old Testament and some bits of the epistles (and perhaps even the Gospels) encourage believers to call for aid for the basics and for triumphs. So I’m not going to pile on him for his interpretation. It served him, and many of his followers, well.

My beautiful wife remarked a bit on one of the elements–silence, and listening to God, I think–and said nobody does this sort of thing any more. However, they do. It’s just been denatured and turned into Mindfulness. Strip the words God and Christ out of Peale’s teaching, and it would fit right into the modern zeitgeist without having icky Christian overtones. But, to be honest, the lessons are also found in Buddhism and Stoicism which predate Christianity.

At any rate, it was a nice, short review of the material, and I might well listen to it again.

Discogs lists 13 titles in the series, but does not include this one. They might be worth picking up when and where I can, if I ever see others of the ilk.

As to this title, I’m not sure what to do with it. I’m not sure where I got it, but without an audiobook-style binder, I won’t put it with the other audio books on the bookshelves. I’ll probably put it under the bed with the rest of our audiocassettes.

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When Your Headline Writer Is Not From Generation X

The local Daily Dammit, Gannett and the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, a distant Daily Dammit, Gannett featured a video about an actor and his parrot:

Not Jon Gries from Real Genius (Lazlo Hollyfeld). Not Jon Gries from Napoleon Dynamite (Uncle Rico).

Jon Gries from some streaming show with far fewer viewers than either of them will ever have and which will be forgotten soon after it’s off the air.

Kids these days don’t know or appreciate proper cult classics and probably have too much content available to ever watch something over and over again.

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Someone’s Understanding Of Football History Is Zero Of One

Or even contemporary football.

The Green Bay Packers have a player who’s both a cornerback and a receiver (Is he a WR or CB? Packers’ Bo Melton could answer yes to both), although he’s mostly a cornerback now since the Packers are stuffed with receivers this year.

I mean, the Packers have had two way players in recent memory (Spencer Havner was both a linebacker and a fullback).

In the old days, they did not have special teams. Jerry Kramer played both right guard and place kicker and returned a kickoff. Paul Hornung was both halfback and place kicker (and held the Packers points scored record for a long time).

I mean, I guess these are all Packers, but Packers history is NFL history.

But, whatever, sportsbook marketing intern. You do you.

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Poetry (Not Depicted)

You know what I wanted to know more about when I saw this article: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off star Mia Sara is unrecognizable after ditching Hollywood for poetry… see her now.

Not the history of her acting career, which topped out in Legend and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (covered extensively in the article) nor her recent return to filmmaking. Nor, even, what she looks like now (she is not unrecognizable, just older than she was in 1987).

No, I wanted to learn more about her poetry. Which the article does not go into.

So I did an Internet search and found her Web site which looks like it has not been updated in nine years and its list of publications.

Wow, 24 poems between 2009 and 2016, but….

Most of them are online journals, and most of them here only a decade later are not available and return errors as the literary journals have folded. A few might have changed technologies which bury the poems, if the old work is available at all.

Ah, gentle reader, as you might know, I placed a couple poems this summer in the last ‘issue’ of the Green Hills Literary Lantern which will not publish again. If its faculty sponsors move on or retire, will Truman State University keep it up? Unlikely. So ten years from now, you won’t be able to find those poems on the Internet any more either.

Ah, the “online journal” has really upped the ephemerality of a poet’s immortality compared to print copies, where a poet could think his or her work was still out there and where crazy poetry readers like me could pick up bundles of chapbooks and old literary magazines and work through them to keep the poet’s work alive for just a little longer.

It doesn’t look like Mia Sara has a collection or chapbook out, and more’s the pity; a couple of poems that I could find like this and this are not bad.

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Good To See He’s Found Work In This Economy

Haven’t we seen this movie before?

Actually, I guess not. Given that I’m a senior whatever I am and have been in the IT industry for over 25 years now, most of us who have seen this movie before have retired. So it’s younger people caught up in the AI hype.

I read enough to be skeptical about it (also note I didn’t think “the Internet” would be that big either), but I can’t be too loudly skeptical on LinkedIn since the whole world, or at least the deluge of consultants, contractors, and service providers to service providers that is LinkedIn lurvs it.

And job postings: Are you AI-first? AI-native? On a scale of 1-10, do you love AI 11 or 12?

I have used AI in a limited fashion for guidance and suggestions as to how I might solve a problem, but I have enough experience to doubt, to know when it’s not correct, and to know when to refine it.

I am not into building complete apps or systems without knowing what’s going on. Our software has been trending away from quality for a decade or so with human developers. I do not look forward to what we get when companies are relying on autocorrect to write their software for them.

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Book Report: Hornblower and the Crisis by C.S. Forester (2011)

Book coverIt seems like I just read a Hornblower or O’Brian book, but I might have been thinking of Sharpe’s Trafalgar which mostly took place at sea and which I just read in January 2024. The last Hornblower title I read was Beat to Quarters in 2017, although I did pick up two last year: Lieutenant Hornblower at the Friends of the Springfield-Greene County Library book sale in April and this book at the Friends of the Christian County Library book sale in June. So maybe that makes for why it seems fresh; after your first half century, anything in the last decade is just.

This posthumous collection is not actually a full novel; it has the incomplete novel Forester was working on when he passed away and two short stories in it. In Hornblower and the Crisis, Hornblower is between ships and helps to seize a French ship that spotted and pursued the little hoy he was taking back to port from the Hotspur, his previous command. He manages to capture the captain’s papers and return them to London, including an official dispatch from Boney, who has just made himself emperor. When conferring with the Lordships, he blurts out a plan to deliver forged orders for the French fleet to sail out, and they put him on the mission since he has some experience with the land area in which the operation will need to be conducted. And as he is about to become a spy, Forester dies, so we get a summary of the notes left behind. “Hornblower and the Widow McCool” explains how an Irish rebel is captured amongst French forces, and he asks Hornblower to deliver his sea chest to his widow. Hornblower suspects something is up and discovers the secret of the rebel’s last poem for his wife. “The Last Encounter” tells the story of an elderly Hornblower at his estate when a seeming madman arrives, thinking he’s Bonaparte. He is about to dismiss him when his wife (a different wife than in Hornblower and the Crisis, I note) intercedes and helps him on his way; later, they receive a thank-you note from Louis Napoleon Bonaparte who has established himself as ruler of France.

This 158 page Penguin book was a far quicker read than Shōgun for sure (but both historical paperbacks set but about two hundred years or so apart). It’s too big for the new mass market paperback shelf in my office which I have the inclination to fill by reading a bunch of paperbacks. But not big paperbacks like this.

Also, I did flag something in “The Last Encounter”:

The stranger made a low bow, and advancing, took Barbara’s hand and stooped low over it again to kiss it. Barbara was woman enough to be susceptible to a kise on the hand–and any rascal could find his way into her good graces if he could perform that outlandish ceremony in the right way.

Time for a Coffee House MemoryTM:

In 1996 or thereabouts, I remember a trio of Austrian au pairs (although the Germans and their cousins might have their own word for it, as au pair is clearly French and hence the enemy (at least in the context of this book–in modern times, the French are not even French)). A blonde and two brunettes; I can only remember the name of Marlena, which was one of the two brunettes and not even the one I thought was prettiest. They showed up at the Grind late at night, probably after the children they were responsible were in bed, and they drank coffee until some of the other expats (Indian or Pakistani, back when that was still a bit exotic) would invite them to go to the clubs, most likely Velvet (see also The Various Clubs I Have Attended from 2019), and they would dance and whatnot and somehow be up to take care of their charges in the morning. We were all young then and could do stuff like that–it was before my print shop days, when I was still working retail and might not have had to work until afternoons sometimes. I do remember that months later that the brunette whom I thought to be the prettiest was looking a little ragged.

At any rate, on the night that my friend Scott (he’s still alive, which puts him far ahead of many of my friends from the middle 1990s) introduced me to the three, I bowed and kissed their hands in turn. The blonde was quite miffed about it and recoiled whilst I did it, and throughout the evening, I understand she kept returning it and asking Scott why I did it.

Clearly, I did not perform that outlandish ceremony the right way.

So, back to the book. More to my taste than O’Brian and even Cornwell when you get down to it because the language is punchier and although it does talk about elements of naval warfare and operation, it does not go to the distance where you think that the author just wants to show off his research.

So I’m hoping I can find Lieutenant Hornblower sometime in the near future. And when you get past your first half century, you’re comfortable that “near future” might be nine years from now (should I live that long–most of my matrilineal side did not).

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The Memes Put Brian J. On The Defensive

It was only three memes at View from the Porch, and yet I felt targeted.

Back around the turn of the century, I was a technical writer with prodigious output even though I am not a home-row touch-typist (even today).

One Friday afternoon, my password came to the end of its 90-day lifetime, so I changed the password last thing before I left (never do this on a Friday, by the way, nor install wonky software that requires a reboot and might brick your machine and you can’t remember what might have caused it come Monday morning).

On Monday, I was one of the first in the office as 7am start times were my wont back in the old days. I sat down in the empty office and tried to log in. I tried the password I thought I’d set on Friday afternoon, but it didn’t work. I tried again to see if I’d mistyped it. I slowed down and looked at every key as I typed it. Nothing.

So I waited in an empty office for two and a half hours for the hardware guy to come in to reset my password again. He then noticed that something was wrong with my keyboard. On Friday afternoon, after I left, El Guapo had popped off a couple of keys on my keyboard and had, anomg other things, had switched the n and m keys, and I was not a touch-typist, so I looked at them when I typed the password, and I was not familiar enough with keyboards to spot what was off. Oh, the laughs they had at my expense.

The story made it all the way to the C-Suite when the inside sales guy was on a trip to New York. Apparently, my name came up, and the originator of the Dosso Double-Snap (snapping one’s fingers twice when excited, a thing I still do today on occasion) told that story. Whereupon the company’s co-founder said, “He typed all that documentation with these fingers!” and wagged his index fingers in the air. To be honest, my method was kinda touch-typing, but not home row ASDF JKL;. I have gotten faster, and I can even type things I’m looking at, like book pages for book report quotes and whatnot. But, yeah, 3000+ pages of software manuals with mostly the first two fingers of each hand and the thumb sometimes for the space bar.

Jeez, Louise, I’ve seen references to fedora-wearing overly chivalrous young men (they say “M’lady” or “My lady,” see?) at Founding Questions, too, so I guess this is something of an archetype or more like a punchline, and when I see it, I cringe a bit inside. Literally, I figuratively cringe, not just recoil which is I guess what the kids these days mean when they say cringe.

Ah, gentle reader. I got my trenchcoat for Christmas 1993, and I got my first fedora a couple of weeks later at Donge’s down on Third Street in Milwaukee. I was more influenced by old movies with Bogart and Grant (still am, I’d like to think) than anything else–and fedoras had a brief resurgence amongst some people with television programs like Crime Story and The Hat Squad.

And, ah, yes, I did have an inflated sense of chivalry due to my exposure to medieval poetry and whatnot. So I would have been–and I was–that demonstrative in that fashion (one such story coming later). I suppose I affected a bit to portray a role to cover my natural shyness reticence. If you press me to admit it.

But, jeez Louise, I couldn’t have been following some pattern in popular culture from the 1980s? Certainly not from the John Hughes movies–I had not seen them yet. I WAS NOT DUCKY.

I’d like to think I was sui generis, but apparently not. Ah, me.

Meanwhile, this weekend, I got a new Alpine hat because I was at a German festival over in Lawrence County. I have reached an age, apparently having reached a half-C, where I think I might look okay in a stubby-brimmed hat. Also, it was a fund raiser, but there were not many opportunities to lay out greenbacks for the Lions Club and its endeavours, so I had to invent reasons to give.

But I still where my classic wide-brimmed fedora or wide-brimmed Panama hat out, so maybe not, m’lady.

There’s a third meme in the post, but I do not understand it. Otherwise, it might have been a trifecta of defensiveness. Or is it mocking my lack of understanding?

The whole world is not about me. But the Internet is.

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Movie Report: Rodan (1956)

Book coverAfter watching Godzilla vs. Mothra, I did, in fact, pop this DVD in for my next movie watching a night or so later.

This film is eight years older than the Godzilla movie I just watched and features the origin of Rodan, or at least of the species known as Rodan. Miners digging coal near a volcano in Japan reach an unheard of depth, and water floods the cave, leading to two missing miners who previously scuffled on the surface. The film plays out for the first portion like a horror movie: Something in that deep tunnel is deadly, but what is it? They eventually discover that giant insects are killing the miners and investigators. When the army goes in with force, a cave-in separates an engineer from the rest, and when he is found on the surface, he has amnesia. Meanwhile, a supersonic UFO is devastating different cities in Asia and defeats, somehow, some military jets. The engineer recovers his memory when his fiancée shows a nest with one of her songbirds’ eggs in it, ready to hatch: In the mine, he saw an egg hatching, and the giant winged creature ate the giant insects. From then on, it’s a straight-up monster movie with the military trying to deal with the giant dinosaurs (there are two) who seem impervious to bombs, missiles, and artillery. Spoiler alert: The barrage triggers a volcanic eruption which kills the pair, although a voiceover at the end indicates that the remaining mate might not wanted to live without its partner.

A fairly short film, of course, and again it hearkens back to my youth when we saw these movies “all the time” (again, where “all the time” might have meant on ten or fifteen Saturday afternoons in our eternal youth).

So I got to thinking: It’s clear that this film was made with models and toys in the cases of most of the military equipment and destroyed cityscapes. But we were kind of forgiving of this back in the day because that’s how our toys looked and so they were fake, but akin to what our imaginations produced on their own. Modern films look a lot like video games with all the computer imagery, and I’ve probably mentioned that I’ve found old films upscaled to 4K or whatever to look like video games, too, with different layers of things pretty clearly grouped together for rendering. But how do modern films look to my children, whose toys for the last five years or so and even before them, were video games and screen-based. Did it impact their imaginations so that modern films more clearly align with how they imagine things (if they imagine things outside what the screens provide)? How much of our youthful amusements shape our imaginations not only in content, but in shapes, appearances, textures, and the other underlying framework?

An interesting thought exercise, and were it my job, I could go into great and kind of tedious detail about it. But, gentle reader, as you know, I have no job, so I will not.

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Movie Report: Godzilla vs. Mothra (1964)

Book coverWhen I shelved the two new Toho monster movies that I bought in April–well, topped them as “shelving” them means putting them atop my unwatched video cabinet–I put them by the old Godzilla movie I already had up there. And I did not look closely, and it was only when I picked one to watch the other night that I realized I had Godzilla vs. Mothra and Mothra vs. Godzilla. Which, it turns out, are two releases of the same film (also known as Godzilla vs. The Thing, which is how I think I originally saw it forty-some years ago).

So: An egg washes ashore after a great taifun (after reading Shōgun, watch I drop transliterated Japanese words in blog posts for a couple of weeks). The fishermen sell it to a Businessman who, with his business partner, are going to make an attraction of it. Two little fairy-sized singers come to ask them to return the egg to its home from whence it was washed during the taifun (doesn’t count; it’s the same word re-used). When the Businessmen rebuff them, they turn to a Reporter, a Photographer, and a Scientist to help them. A Politician moves forward with building an industrial area after the storm, but this awakens Godzilla (this picture is the last of the Toho era where he is the antagonist) who starts destroying things. The Reporter, the Photographer, and the Scientist go to the home island of the fairy girls and the home of Mothra to seek his/her/its help in defeating Godzilla. And, after the egg hatches, Godzilla is dispatched into the sea. Until next time.

I capitalized the characters by their job titles instead of names because, c’mon, they’re archetypes, ainna?

Oh, man, did this film make me think of the olden days. On Saturday afternoons, one of the television stations in Milwaukee had a Creature Feature where they played these old Toho Godzilla movies along with classic Universal monster movies and the like, hosted by a Svengoolie knock-off. I remember seeing at least the end of this film because I didn’t understand what it meant when the recently-hatched caterpillars head out to sea, and my sainted mother explained they were returning to their home island. So I knew that much, anyway. Perhaps the original Mothra movie ended in a similar fashion. I can’t be arsed to look.

When I was at my brother’s house recently, a commercial for an upcoming bloc of twenty-year-old movies had my nephew exclaim, “Hot Tub Time Machine 2 is twenty years old?” (It is not, actually.) I asked him if that’s the first time he’s experienced the double-decade ago. It’s funny, but when I saw this film on Milwaukee television, it would have been less than fifteen years old. But it definitely looks different, more archaic, even then compared to how 21st century movies have changed (more looking like video games in big budget pictures, but Hot Tub Time Machine 2 wasn’t that).

So I suppose I will view the other monster movie (Rodan) sometime soon, and I have to think of how to dispose of my duplicate copy of this film. Which is not a true duplicate, but good enough. Free book cart at church? Maybe!

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Movie Report: Return of the One-Armed Swordsman (1969)

Book coverI picked this up in spring of 2023 along with a stack of other films at the Friends of the Springfield-Greene County Library book sale. Looking back at the list, I’ve done okay on watching the films I bought then–out of 37 or 38, I guess I’ve watched a dozen or so. Which counts as okay for the video-buying excursions’ buy-to-watch-within-two-years ratio at Nogglestead.

As the Return (as with Legend) indicates, this is a sequel to an earlier film which I haven’t seen. In this film, the one-armed swordsmen is approached by a pair of swordsmen, one in black and one in white, to participate in a competition at the castle. He demurs, saying he’s just a farmer now, and they leave, but he is approached by other local “families” who have also been approached. They go, and he ends up taking up his broken sword (which looks like a big cleaver) when the bad guys persist and take the “fathers” of the families hostage–and their “sons” approach him for help. One of the sons takes the one-armed swordsman’s wife hostage to get his help. So the one-armed swordsman leads the “brothers” to the stronghold to fight the Eight Sword Kings–the big boss bad guys (well, seven guys and a girl) with gimmick powers or blades. Well, they fight some of the Sword Kings on the way, but ultimately free the “fathers.” However, during their night of celebration, the Eighth Sword King, the “Unseen” attacks with a bunch of ninjas, but the One-Armed Swordsman eventually triumphs and returns home. Until, perhaps The Legend of the One-Armed Swordsman.

It’s a particularly bloody and brutal bit of kung-fu theatre (wuxia, I believe the Chinese term is)–most or all of the “brothers” die, sometimes in bloody fashion. And I have put the family relationships in quotation marks because the dubbed version I have refers to “fathers” and “brothers,” but apparently other dubbed versions and probably the original say that these are martial arts schools, not clans, and the “fathers” are instructors while the “brothers” are students. Which kind of makes sense given how many “brothers” each family has. Still, we’re not watching for the plot. We’re watching for the stylized fighting and gimmicky villains. And we got them.

Less than a decade later, and I might have seen this on kung fu theater on Friday or Saturday night after MASH and Hawaii Five-O. No telling what films I actually saw. Come to think of it, there’s no telling how many times we actually watched this when the Odya boys were sleeping over. Five? Ten? Not as many as twenty, surely. But all the time as it seemed at the time. Then all the time ended unnoticed as it often does.

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Book Report: The Best of Wheat and a Little Chaff Number II by Leah Lathrom Wallace (?)

Book coverAs I mentioned when I bought this book in April 2023, I might be the biggest collector of Leah Lathrom Wallace in the country since I have now read both The Best of Wheat and a Little Chaff and this second volume.

So I picked this up for my upstairs poetry book. I’ve taken to reading a little poetry right before bed every night as part of my wind-down ritual. For some months, I made my way through the stack of Poetry magazines that I bought last October.

And, you know what? I prefer the grandmother poetry in this volume. It’s got rhythm, and it’s got rhyme. Its contents are about trusting in God and home considerations–including some poems for friends and family members and personal history. Actually, this volume has a number of poems by family members, which reinforces the fact that everyone with the better education system of the early 20th century wrote poems (see my own father’s poem here).

So it was a quick read, relatable (more so than modern message poetry which is about speaking the poet’s truth and not shared humanity, so the reader might be excluded from the truth at all), and it helped me wind down.

Given that the back part of the book is relative’s poetry to fill this chapbook out, I have to assume that I now own the whole set. I’ll find other works like it, though; the poetry tables at the book sales are still full of these little chapbooks by somebody’s grandma. And I’ll pick them up and get to them eventually. And, eventually, they will disappear from the poetry tables, replaced by Print on Demand works by contemporary poets. If anything at all. Ai, I am leading to a dark and depressing meta-conclusion even though this particular book was anything but.

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Book Report: Shōgun by (1975, 1980)

Book coverAfter I read the first of C.S. Lewis’s Space Trilogy (Out of the Silent Planet), I thought I would pick up something short as a palate-cleanser. Brother, did I go wrong: This 1200+ page book, which I just bought in June (not long before I started reading it), took the better part of a month to read.

This particular volume is the tie-in to the original television miniseries and has a picture of Richard Chamberlain on the back (what, he was more than Allan Quatermain?). As you might know, gentle reader, a new miniseries was released last year, so strangely enough, if I get down verbally with the kids these days about Shōgun these days, they’ll know it from the recent television experience, whereas I read the doorstop book (see also Dune).

So:

An English pilot/navigator is aboard a ship, the Erasmus, the only remaining vessel from a small contingent set to circumnavigate the globe circa 1600 is shipwrecked on the coast of Japan with a small number of his crew. They’re captured and are going to be killed, but the local warlord, Toranaga, takes an interest in him. He, Blackthorne, the pilot, is called Anjin-san (“Anjin” is nihongo for pilot). He falls in love with a married woman, Mariko, vows revenge on a brutal samurai (that’s redundant, but Yabu is extra brutal and does not like Blackthorne), and, after saving the life of Toranaga (twice) is made hatamoto and samurai. Meanwhile, above and beyond all this, the last military leader died, leaving a council of regents. A rival on the council, Ishido, is maneuvering to ostracize/expel Toranaga. And the Jesuits have started making inroads into Japan, converting a number of people, including some provincial leaders, but they think Blackthorne, as an Englishman and Protestant, is a heretic and must be eliminated. So we’ve got a bit of a fish-out-of-water story as Blackthorne comes to appreciate the Japanese way of life–or elements thereof; a love story between Blackthorne and Mariko; and a hella lotta political intrigue. And it has 1200 pages in which to do it.

The narrative has an interesting bit of flashbackery to it; often, we get an action or situation, and then the story flashes back to the events leading up to the action or situation. Which turns out to be almost how the whole story is laid out (spoiler alert?) We do get some chatty spots where characters discuss events or situations for a couple of pages to set up context or intrigue, and these spots are a bit boggy. And although he is the Western readers’ intro into the story and the one we’re supposed to root for, ultimately, at the end, Blackthorne’s real importance kind of falls off (the book is not entitled An Englishman in Japan or Anjin-San). And the climax comes around page 1000, runs a relatively long time, and then we have a bit of a dénouement for over one hundred pages with an ending that leads not to the great battle between the rivals for the shogunate–the book ends with preparations for the war. So a bit underwhelming to a modernish reader who expects more of a payoff at the end.

So it’s very similar to The Last Samurai, although set at opposite ends of the shogunate: A Western Larry Sue comes to Japan and ends up at the domicile of a samurai, falls in love with a Japanese woman with complications, and comes to appreciate the samurai way of life. Both are a bit hagiographic on the samurai way of life with living in the moment and composing poems and whatnot, but this book does show its inherent brutality and disdain for peasants, merchants, and Christians whereas the film did not (as I have not seen either filmed rendition of this book, I cannot say how brutal they were depicted, although the Wikipedia entry for the 1980 miniseries indicates it broke many network television taboos).

At any rate, I felt a little smart reading it as I was already familiar with some of Japan’s history, Buddhism (c’mon, I know who the Amida Buddha is), and geography, but at times I was a little annoyed with the exposition until I realized that most people were not.

It’s a long book. And I definitely finished it. But I’m not eager to run out and gather Clavell’s other work.

Although I did make an allusion to the film The Fly while reading this book, and in looking into Clavell’s career (reading Wikipedia), I discovered he wrote the screenplay for the original 1958 film. So, clearly, the books published in 1980 are listening to me. Be careful! Think and say nothing!

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