Fall Festival Season Means Raffle Season

And by “raffle,” I mean gun raffle:

Gun raffle tickets

Somebodies will gasp when they discover that one of the raffles is the local EMTs that are raffling off a gun. Guns are dangerous! And they’re EMTs!

Down here in Southwest Missouri, away from the cities on the east and west coast of the state, even the EMTs are not scared of guns as talismans of danger.

Because, really, what could they give away that’s safer? A bike? A car? A home with a bathroom in it?

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Better than the Heinlein

Robert A. Heinlein said:

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

(See how I scored here.)

However, there’s a new gauge in town, and I like it a tad better:

Can you change oil. Tie knots. Build furniture. Cut grass. Drive a moving van. Rent a moving van. Build a suite of software regression tests. And, how do you react if your girlfriend said you remind her of the famous actor, [blank]. John Wayne. Clark Gable. Leonardo DiCaprio. Gary Cooper. Hugh Grant. Clint Eastwood. Tyrone Power. Russell Brand. Errol Flynn.

Holy cats, I can do all that stuff, especially the software regression test suites. And if my beautiful wife says I remind her of Cary Grant, well, I’m working on it.

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Book Report: Poems of Creatures Large and Small edited by Gail Harvey (1991)

Book coverThis book is not the first in this series of grouped short poetry anthologies I’ve read; in 2007, I read Poems of Flowers and Poems of Friendship shortly after finding them at an Old Trees estate sale. I picked up the current volume at a thrift store about a week ago. I like these slim little anthologies that I read them quickly.

As with the other volumes, this slim (65) page volume collects mostly public domain poems on a theme. This time, it’s animals, so all of the poems are about animals (Tiger, tiger, burning bright? It’s in there.). As always, the poems vary in style and, honestly, quality, but it does offer a bit of a buffet approach to a number of styles and poets from Whitman to Wordsworth to a lot of Bret Harte.

I know, I know, Don’t you have an English degree? Shouldn’t you be reading Real Volumes of Poetry? Oh, but no. I’m currently into my third decade of trying to read the complete works of Emily Dickinson, friends, and I’m here to tell you that poetry is supposed to delight and entertain. It’s supposed to be deep pop music. Pleasing to the ear and conveying deep meaning. Like so much art, it got corrupted by critics and poetasters so that too much of it is either too ponderous to be appreciated by normal people or just twee without any deeper resonance. Give me a K-Tel collection of poems like this any day over the complete works of Wallace Stevens.

I liked this collection so much that I’m considering looking into how many Gail Harvey edited in this series and seeking out the others. Fortunately, the intersection of my laziness and otherwise busy day will intercede and prevent me from adding any more to my sagging shelves other than the upcoming autumn book sales and occasional trip to the thrift store.

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And If You Append _nomap To Your Street Address, Google Won’t Rifle Through Your Mailbox

Google Announces “_nomap” WiFi Opt-out Option, Wants Other Location Providers To Go Along:

As promised, Google has announced a way for WiFi router owners to stop Google from including them in the company’s location database.

The opt-out requires a change in the name of the wireless network (the SSID) to include _nomap at the end of the name. In other words, if your wireless network is named “McGeehome,” you’d need to rename that to “McGeehome_nomap.” (And frankly, I’d prefer you use your own last name while you’re at it.)

Google is thoughtfully allowing you to change your internal naming of your personal property to keep Google from using it for its own data collection and profit.

Because your property and information belongs to Google unless you explicitly say it does not. Even if you don’t use Google. Because anything Google can dig up, it can use.

(Link via tweet.)

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Book Report: Bomun Temple in Seoul Korea (?) and Wonderful Korea

Book cover Book cover

I picked up these books in Clever this spring for something to flip through during football games. And so I did.

The first, Bomun Temple in Seoul Korea, is an inexpensive tourist trinket for visitors of a Buddhist temple in Seoul, South Korea. It’s a set of photos with captions bound with string, and it includes errata such as the same page appearing twice. It focuses on the artifacts and architecture of a single temple, so it’s pretty in-depth.

The second, Wonderful Korea, is broader. It’s broken into sections by province or geographic region and has a couple photos of different temples, pagodas, parks, and museums. As such, it focuses on things you can see all over Korea. It’s broken down into districts within Korea and highlights some of the things to visit in those areas. The area around Seoul is heavily represented, and the locations are given a couple of images and sometimes a couple of artifact images, but it is by design not very detailed about any one location. The book also includes a number of maps to help you get around Korea and the districts in each chapter, and amid all of the eastern architecture and art, there are dots on the map for the local YWCA. Which would now be historic, but were then contemporary.

Takeaways from flipping through:

  • Historical books from continents other than North and South America really drive home how recent our historical sites are. Whereas your local historical societies run back about a hundred or a hundred and fifty years before getting very swirling-fog-of-prehistory, these books feature temples built while the Roman Empire was a thing that were burned when Charlemagne was important and then rebuilt when Christopher Columbus was considered crazy instead of evil.
     
  • Eastern art and architecture aren’t my thing. I’m more into the highly realized works of the European Renaissances and beyond, and Asian art looks a little primitive and playful to me. That’s a taste judgment, ungentle reader, not a moral one. Your kilometerage may vary.

Still, I’m glad to have looked through them. I have a couple more from that score this spring and I’ll keep you apprised as I go through them, but I imagine my reaction will be similar.

Books mentioned in this review:

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Book Report: The Barrabas Hit by Jack Hild (1989)

Book coverSo close after reading Designation Gold, I picked up this book to really juxtapose and contrast the Marcinko books with more common men’s adventure fiction.

This book finds Barrabas set up and kidnapped in Athens by a former associate who blames Barrabas and the SOBs for a botched operation that left him disfigured. Once he has Barrabas locked in a basement on a Greek island, the man now going by Joshua leaves a trail for the SOBs to follow to lead them to his island–and an ambush.

The book starts out with the operation that went bad and then seemingly tries to play up the mystery of who this “Joshua” is. Perhaps the scene at the beginning was added later. It’s a quick read, of course, and interesting and consumable in that men’s adventure novel way.

Where I dinked the Marcinko and Weisman book about the non-first person narrator characters for seeming like NPCs, this book uses third person, so many of the characters come across that way, too. The good guys and the named bad guys are interchangeable but for a characteristic. O’Toole is the Irish one, Billy Two is the Indian one, Lee is the woman one, and so on. The plot is thinner and more straight forward than the more modern thriller (although there are only eight years that separate these two books, one is patterned on the thriller and one on the adventure novel).

At any rate, they’re different books and they suit different audiences or moods. But I experienced the flavor of each and, as I said, got the contrast acutely.

I’ve got a couple more SOBs books (and keep accumulating men’s adventure novels), and I’ll get to them as the mood strikes. The SOB books aren’t as good as the old Pendleton Executioner books, but they’re not dumpster diving like some of the paperback series are.

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Good Book Hunting: Pumpkin Daze 2014

I swear, I did not mean to acquire a couple stacks of books today. We went to Republic’s Pumpkin Daze, a fall harvest festival with crafts, large vegetables, and funnel cakes, for a little while yesterday afternoon.

One of the booths featured retired educational professionals raising money for local scholarships. They did this by selling books. As we were late in the day, they offered everything you could fit into a bag for a buck.

So I did.

Pumpkin Daze books

The booth featured a lot of vintage science fiction paperbacks, so I helped myself. Here’s a partial list of what I got:

  • Starman Jones by Robert Heinlein
     
  • Solar Lottery by Philip K. Dick
     
  • The Guns of Terra 10 by Don Pendleton, the author of the Executioner series.
     
  • Two from a series called Agent of T.E.R.R.A.
     
  • Two hardbacks from an anthology series called Flashing Swords!
  • A couple of series paperbacks, Starhawk # 1 and something from the War, Inc., line
     
  • Tanar of Pellugidar by Edgar Rice Burroughs
     
  • Wine of the Dreamers, science fiction by John D. MacDonald of Travis McGee fame and MfBJN love
     
  • Ox by Piers Anthony
     
  • The Complete Book of Shooting
     
  • Sarah Palin’s America By Heart to go alongside the currently unread Going Rogue
     
  • A Pocket Billiards rule book
     
  • An Andy Rooney book, Common Nonsense, that I did not recognize

&c.

Wow, what a collection. I’m looking forward to getting started on them.

And the total for my two stacks, my beautiful wife’s stack, and the sole book picked out by my oldest son, was $4 because I double-bagged our two sacks.

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The Same Guy Packed My Trivia Whiz

Jack Baruth has a photo of a guitar he bought on eBay in its shipping container, which is a box with some peanuts that could not accommodate the guitar properly.

About fifteen years ago, I was embarking on my video game collecting bit (and by video games, I mean the full size arcade games, not just consoles and electronic games). I got my first two from eBay: A Thunderblade (which featured a suicide battery that has committed seppuku in the intervening fifteen years) and a bartop Trivia Whiz IV.

The Thunderblade came crated and strapped down, shipped via a freight service that required me to get a friend with a pickup truck and a strong back to pick it up at the airport. It was a professional job.

The Trivia Whiz, on the other hand….

It was shipped UPS heavyweight. In a cardboard box. With some bubblewrap pressed against the glass and wrapped with pallet wrap and a half box full of peanuts that had settled, of course.

It arrived with the whole heavy wood case akilter, especially the glass and framed front with the controls and glass that covered the monitor. I complained to the seller, who suggested that I take it up with UPS. I didn’t bother because the fault lie not in the shipping but the packing.

I did my best to straighten the case out, but it’s still a little wonky.

And it’s still cluttering one of my desks in my office. I should try it out one of these days to see if it still works.

Those were the only two games I bought off of eBay; the others I got at in person auctions. Video games are one of those things I’m wary of ordering online.

(Not that I’m planning to do that any time soon, honey. Although our youngest son has informed me there’s a spot of room in the office in front of the filing cabinet. I don’t need to open those drawers as much as I need another video game in my office.)

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Book Report: Rogue Warrior: Designation Gold by Richard Marcinkco and John Weisman (1997)

Book coverThis book, strangely enough, is the first one I tried to read after I read the purportedly nonfictional Rogue Warrior, and I was immediately bogged down in the very opening of it. So I set it aside and later realized it was not the first of the fiction (Rogue Warrior II: Red Cell was, and I’ve since read that).

However, on my second go-round, I was more into it.

Within the story, Marcinko goes to Russia (ca 1997) to investigate the killing of one of his “shipmates” and his family, including Marcinko’s godson. He finds Russian gangsters, a multinational fixer, and ultimately a plot for the Syrians to build a nuclear weapon for it–or be framed for the effort in order to draw an Israeli strike. Marcinko investigates, does some action stuff, leads some set piece raids, gets thwarted by the brass, overcomes obstacles, meets some kindred spirits, and triumphs.

It’s a decent thriller, thicker than a men’s adventure novel and written with a little more depth. Many of the non-Marcinko characters do come off a bit like non-player characters where they’re only distinguished by their nickname. But the voice of the narrator is distinct and brash and, if you’re in the mood for it, a bit of fun. The definite, conscious asides about exposition, equipment, tactics, or whatever the narrator is going on about now contrasts with Clancy-esque attempts to just fit it into the narrative where it can be tedious and jarring. The voice also contrasts a bit with the first person narrator of the Odd Thomas novels, wherein Odd goes into deep musings of philosophical questions in between action bits. In these books, the narrator is briefing you, often at the presumed annoyance of his editor. It works pretty well.

Secondly, these books are coming on twenty years old, and the world has moved from a place of turmoil in the shadows to a place of overt turmoil. The plot described in the book isn’t imaginative or speculative since the Israelis have hit a Syrian site thought to be preparing nuclear materials. Twenty years ago, this stuff might have been just outside the realm of what we thought was really possible. Imaginative. Now, it seems a little more true-to-life. Sadly, it’s aging too well.

So I’m looking forward to reading the others I have (but that doesn’t mean I’ll rush right into them), and I’ll probably fill in the gaps such as I can. I have to wonder, though, if they suffer from the same eventual fate of these kinds of thrillers when they transition authorship that they will lose that which makes them special. Probably, but I have a ways to go until I get there with the series.

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My Lack of Memory Is A Sign Of Sophistication, Not Aging

So as I was organizing my comic book collection (finally, at the age of forty-something), I came across a couple of sixteen year old playbills from a performance of David Hare’s Skylight at the St. Louis Reperatory Theater:

Playbill for Skylight at the St. Louis Rep

I have no recollection of this play.

The fact that I have two programs indicates I took my beautiful girlfriend to the play. Perhaps that’s why I don’t remember; the play was overshadowed by the woman with me.

I went to a lot of plays in the 1990s, first at college and then a few after I returned from college to Missouri. I saw the Norman Conquests five times: Round and Round the Garden, Living Together, and Table Manners (2x) in Milwaukee (with three different young ladies, I add) and once at the Chesterfield Community Theatre at the YMCA out in St. Louis County. I saw Sight Unseen and The Visit in Milwaukee during college along with some collegiate productions like The Marriage of Bette and Boo and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. I saw The Ghetto at the backdoor theater of the St. Louis Rep because I was kinda interested in the one young lady in it. I saw a play at St. Louis Community College-Meramec because I was dating a girl in the theatre program there. I saw Dancing at Lughnasa at the St. Louis Rep. Was that the winter one, where I took Amy on college break? I saw Picasso at Lapin Agile and some other oddity at the Clayton Community Theatre because my beautiful by then wife knew someone in the troupe. I also saw an awful lot of Ragged Blade Productions because I volunteered with that group. Well, I was at a lot of Ragged Blade Productions or rehearsals. Maybe I didn’t see that many plays there.

But Skylight? Even reviewing the rep’s production notes or the Wikipedia entry leaves me no closer to a memory.

I prefer to see this as a mark of my sophistication: That I have forgotten more play performances than most modern people can remember.

But it is probably more the case that I’m getting old and/or that I’m overwriting previously used blocks of memory with Imagine Dragons lyrics.

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I Got 0 Out Of 50 On This Quiz, And I Consider It A Perfect Score

The 50 Weirdest Movies Ever Made

As a matter of fact, I’d only heard of two of them: Boxing Helena because it came out while I was in college and I remember seeing the ad for it in the Milwaukee Journal at about the same time I saw Sands in Warlock late at night on cable. And I’d heard of Zardoz because Sean Connery.

Most of the items on the list are brutal-looking slasher/horror bits from the 1970s directed by Europeans, it looks like. The sort of films I never thought were worthwhile.

So I guess I don’t like artistic weird movies. My guilty pleasures tend to run to dumb movies. For instance, I’ve seen 9 1/2 Ninjas! more than 9 1/2 times. And I’m adding Dead Men Don’t Die to my watching list.

So take my anti-film snobbery for what it is.

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Book Report: What Makes a Picasso a Picasso? by Richard Muhlberger (1994)

Book coverThis book proves me a hypocrite. I’ve dodged cultural sensations like Harry Potter, Twilight, and Hunger Games because, I’ve ::sniffed::, they’re children’s books. But put a discarded library children’s book about an artist in front of me, and I’m all over it.

Because, let’s face it, my knowledge of Picasso is precursory. I know his era, his acquaintence with Gertrude Stein and the Lost Generation, and he did La Guernica which I did a paper on in college, although I’m not entirely sure what I had to say about it. Probably that it fought the norms of the day in which I wrote the paper, which strangely enough were sort of still norms instead of the anachronisms they are now. Everything else I got from Steve Martin’s Picasso at the Lapin Agile, which is why I’m prone to answer at trivia nights that Picasso knew Elvis.

This book is a simple little book from the Museum of Modern Art and takes a brief, high-level overview of Picasso and his work and its phases. So I learned a bit about his Blue Period and what he was trying to do with Cubism. Basically, it’s a painted collage of different views of the same image. Okay, I get it, but I don’t think it’s any less stupid.

So I got something out of this book, and it didn’t take too long to read. Best of all, there are others in the series with other artists, so I’ll definitely keep my eyes open for others in the line. Because I like to know a little bit about a lot of things, even though I have to go to children’s books to learn them. And it didn’t take a million words to get to the end and think it was stupid that Picasso and Hermione weren’t together.

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Book Report: Cheap Shot by Ace Atkins (2014)

Book coverI was not particularly impressed with this book. Perhaps I read it too soon after The Lost Ones and found too many of that book’s flaws in this one.

In this book, a New England Patriots linebacker hires Spenser to look into some people who were following him. Spenser is not sure if it’s someone associated with his second wife who has a sketchy past or if it’s related to a nightclub shooting where someone died and the linebacker might have been responsible. So Spenser does some sleuthing and follows some false leads to make it interesting. Nobody in the Patriots organization wants him hanging around, nor does the linebacker’s agent. Then the linebacker’s son is kidnapped and held for ransom, but the linebacker instead offers the ransom as a bounty on the kidnappers. Hey, haven’t I seen that in a movie? Spenser then follows some other leads and saves the kid after some danger. The end, except one of the bad guys is untouched, which does not bring closure to the story and leads into next week’s episode.

So Atkins’ writing sometimes seems as informed by television and movies–where he makes allusions to celluloid instead of print, and by “allusions to” I mean “he borrows from.” His writing style when affecting Parker’s is better still than the mid-to-late Parker, but I’m hopeful that he gets more original with further books.

Also, SUCKER PUNCH ALERT. Okay, Atkins is wise to steer away from political commentary within the books–which means he’s probably a conservative, but Spenser repeatedly mocks people for wearing suits from Men’s Wearhouse. Hey, I own suits from Men’s Wearhouse. And they’re a far step above the slacks and button down shirts I get at Walmart that are my daily apparel. Also, one of the cheap foils for Spenser and Hawk’s masculinity claims to be a second-degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do, but he crumples with a single blow from Hawk. Hey, I am studying Tae Kwon Do (mixed in with a couple of other disciplines). I know some second degree black belts, and I’d like to think they’d put up a bit more of a fight (although, in full disclosure, in my started-but-incomplete follow up to my first, unpublished novel, the protagonist squares off on a fellow who goes into a fighting stance. “Tae kwon do?” my protagonist asks. The bad guy nods. Then my protagonist drew a semiautomatic and said, “Meets some urban ninjistu.” So although I’m dissing it a bit, I’m not going to the extreme Atkins does). Where was I? Oh, yeah, Why is Ace Atkins attacking all of my life choices? What next, mocking an English degree? A taste for omelets? All because I’ve given him a lukewarm review on an obscure blog?

What, it’s not all about me? Gentle reader, this is the Internet. It *is* all about me. Cosmically. If only you connect the dots and dust motes.

So I’m not weaned off of Atkins’ Spenser novels or other novels because I’m hopeful others will have better things to offer. But these last two things I’ve read have not been highlights of his oeuvre.

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Topps Video Game Cards

As part of my job, I find myself scouring eBay, Etsy, and Amazon and doing semi-random searches. This morning, I searched for zaxxon, and I came across something that triggered my memory: Topps playable Video Game Cards.

Topps Video Game Cards

What do you mean, playable?

Each card had the game board like the arcade game:

Frogger Video Game Card

You would then scratch off dots mimicking the moves you would make in the video game. It was like a scratch-off lottery ticket, except you didn’t win anything.

Of course, then you would scratch off the rest of the spots to see how many ways you could get to safety or achieve success on the game board.

Each pack came with a stick of gum, a sticker, and two such games.

If you didn’t have an expensive game console (the Atari 2600 at the time) or regular access to a video arcade or a convenience store with an actual game (or even if you did), you were the target audience for this.

I don’t remember how many packs of these I bought, but I had pages of the stickers in my sticker collection. Sadly, I’m not entirely sure that I still have those pages of stickers–which means probably not.

If you look on eBay and on Amazon, you’ll find unopened packs for maybe five bucks each and unplayed cards for a buck. But I’m not even tempted. Because these are ultimately collectibles with one use (at which point they become relatively uncollectable) or you can have unopened packs as collectables themselves, but this goes against my basic collectable philosophy: You’ve got to be able to enjoy that which you collect. I mean, I acquire books, comic books (suddenly, as a result of an occupational hazard, I’m into them slightly again), record albums, old video games/computers/electronics, and so on, but I collect them for the joy of using them (or thinking I’ll use them someday), not because I want some pristine, untouched thing that I can’t enjoy (or at least I get a reading copy).

So I don’t expect I’ll suddenly begin collecting these video game cards. I can see them listed on eBay and think back.

Just don’t tell my beautiful wife that this vicarious collecting enjoyment is a remote possibility, or she might insist I enjoy it more often instead of bringing home another box (or more) of things to stuff in the closet.

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I Admit It: My Lips Move When I Read…

poetry.

Because I want to feel the words and the rhythms in my mouth. To hear them in my voice.

I recognized this whilst I was sitting in the dojo whilst my child took his martial arts class. I was sitting there, moving my lips, and grateful when I could snag my younger child, seat him on my lap, and read a couple poems out loud to him before he wriggled off to find a child with a mobile phone to watch.

You really can’t experience poetry by reading it in your head. Not good poetry, anyway.

Also, notice the double-whilst sentence above. I’m pretty sure in the Hoyle’s Rules of Writing, a double-whilst is a trick worth many points.

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