So-Called Watch

From a CNN.com film review:

In the film “In Good Company,” Dennis Quaid’s character, ad executive Dan Foreman, lives out a fear hidden inside millions of American men and women over 50 — losing their job just when they are hitting their stride professionally.

Foreman has played by the rules all his life and is living the so-called American Dream. He’s respected by peers and clients as the head of ad sales for a weekly New York-based sports magazine. He has a loving wife, Ann, played beautifully by Marg Helgenberger (“Erin Brockovich,” TV’s “CSI”) and two daughters, the oldest of which, Alex (Scarlett Johansson), is just entering New York University.

Is that a sneer towards the values of good family, working hard, living quietly? Why, I think it is! Don’t the plebes know the American dream involves a third floor walk-up in Manhattan, foreign film festivals, and endless nights of trying to score at bars and nightclubs with anemic europhile women?

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Book Report: Stalking the Angel by Robert Crais (1989)

I read the second Elvis Cole book, my second in 36 hours, so that bespeaks much of how enjoyable these particular novels are proving.

This one finds Elvis Cole looking for a a stolen Japanese manuscript, protecting a wealthy businessman’s family, looking for a kidnapped girl who might be complicit in her disappearance, and battling Japanese organized crime. Elvis Cole battles more crime in a day than some fictional private eyes see all book.

The plot is convoluted, but not confusing; as the first person narrator has to reframe events in his own mind, he takes the readers along, so it’s not confusing or overly elaborate. Heck, I figured it out sixty pages in with a guess as to how I, as a writer, would play it.

I’m eager to continue with the series as it, like John D. MacDonald’s work and some of the sixties paperbacks I’ve taken to in the last six months, entertains me and inspires me to write. As soon as I finish another book, of course.

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Sunday Night Fiction: “Shepherd: At College”

Okay, so I got nothing this weekend. Here, have a short story. This particular piece piggybacked on a piece I wrote while in high school, not that anyone knew it. "Shepherd: At College" represents the second Jim Shepherd story, which chronicles the adventures of a young man who grew up reading too many hard-boiled detective adventures. This story represents one of my many publication credits, as it appeared in the Spring 1994 Marquette Journal. Lest you forget because this is the Internet, friends, the following piece is copyright 1992 Brian J. Noggle, and it should not appear on your Web sites without my permission until, as Disney rules are in effect, 2999 AD.


Shepherd at College

   Dark rolled down outside the blinds of the little coffee house I was sitting in. I was trying to stare wistfully into my drink, which was difficult because it was a flattening Cherry Coke served in a paper cup with a strange dichromatic ocean picture that became clear only after you stared at it a while. Maybe it really wasn’t an ocean scene. Maybe that’s only what I saw after staring at it a long time. I was swaying in time with the bluesy jazzy poppy music they piped in to the joint, swaying and looking wistfully into a paper cup of soda. It was not one of my better days. Then she walked in.

   Her heels clicked to a stop on the fake brick floor just inside the door. She shimmered. She glistened. The room coalesced and kaleidoscoped. She did other things in the light that made my eyes hurt. And I had only been drinking Cherry Coke. She swirled a glance over the accumulated misfits and might have lingered on me for a minute. I wish. I straightened up and shoved my hat back. A macho enough gesture, but the hat was kind of tight and moving it back hurt a bit, so she would have no idea how macho it really was. I ran my fingers along my hairline and pulled my hat down. It hurt.

   What would Spenser do? He’d go over and say, “Want to see me do a one-armed push-up?” and she would giggle and he would snap off ten. Spenser was a wuss. I could do one-armed push-ups two at a time. I decided against the gesture. She’d just think it was macho posturing or something. Besides, ten is an awfully high number and she might get bored in the middle of my macho posturing.

   As it were, I just tipped my chair back against the pseudo-brick wall and leaned my head back. The brim of my hat hit the wall and the hat slid painfully down over my eyes. Mike Hammer never had this problem. I coolly chicked the front legs of my chair back down and shoved my hat back. Her back was to me as she paid for some coffee concoction with a crisp fiver. Good.

   She looked over the room and looked at the empty table next to me. It was the only one in the place. Our eyes met and I felt the electricity. She looked around again, probably to make sure that everyone was watching as she swanked deliberately over to the table. It was hard for her to decide whether to sit across the table so she could see me or on the side nearest me, and she settled on sitting with her back to me, acting coy and indifferent but handy when I wanted to strike up a conversation.

   She was doing a good job on the cool thing. She didn’t even turn half way and look out at the room so she watch me out of the corner of the eye. She was good at this game, but I was better.

   “Excuse me, do you know what time it is?” I asked her.

   She didn’t even glance at the little Seiko on her wrist. “No.” she said.

   Hard to get, I thought. I knew the thing. The harder I chase her, the more I’ll like it when she gave in. And she could check out just how much I liked her in just how hard I chased her. An ego thing. I was one step ahead of her.

   “Shepherd’s the name,” I said as she spread a New Yorker on the table in front of her. “Jim Shepherd,” I said after a dramatic pause, a pause made more dramatic when she hadn’t said anything. Or even looked at me.

   “Good for you,” she said.

   “And you are?”

   “Getting irritated.”

   A big jockish looking guy came over to her table. “Hi, Sharon,” he said. “How ya doing?”

   “Great,” she said.

   Great, I thought.

   “I’m headed over to Duffy’s. Want to come along?” Jock Boy said. Sure, if he didn’t have those muscles and all that where would he be?

   “Thank God,” she said, closing her New Yorker slipping it into her bag. She turned and they walked out. She started talking as they were out of earshot. I watched them leave, and I have to say I enjoyed it.

   Sharon. I liked the name Sharon. I liked Sharon. At least it wouldn’t be one of those lingering, clinging things. She and Jocko turned the corner and were gone. But not forgotten. I wondered if she were a freshperson. That would give me four years. Plenty of time. It was going to be a good four years. Oh, those blue eyes, I thought and I would have sighed except I’m a tough guy.

   I looked at my soda. It was almost empty. I could use another pretty soon, but the tap was so far away. A little red bird was flying across the sky on the cup, and it wasn’t getting anywhere. Tough luck. I was sympathizing with that bird when she walked in.

   She seemed to seep into the room like a fog. A mist of perfume, hair that rolled from her head like a dark warmth, and a presence that crept before her and lingered after she left. She glanced over the room and her big brown eyes flowed over me like molasses. They might have syrupped on me for a moment, but it might have been just me. She looked at the table next to me, the only empty one in the joint, and she cascaded over. I took a healthy slug of my Cherry Coke. What would Philip Marlowe do? I wondered.

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Book Report: The Monkey’s Raincoat by Robert Crais (1987)

I got this book, and all of Robert Crais’ novels to date, for Christmas, so I started with this book as it’s the first Elvis Cole novel.

The book features a private investigator in California who follows well the footsteps of Philip Marlowe and Lew Archer, better than that Moses Wine guy. Elvis has to investigate the a husband who has disappeared with the couple’s son. The husband, a down on his luck agent, has been cheating on his wife with the sordid lot of starlets and seems to have gotten himself in over his head with drug dealers, organized crime, and femme fatales.

The writing is denser than Robert B. Parker’s work, from whose early this work seems slightly derivative. This book does draw its attention to a common modern writing foible, though; the shortcut use of the brand name as an adjective. You don’t find it in the older stuff that remains fresh to this day; Chandler didn’t tell you who made the high-quality merchandise, he described how the merchandise was high quality. A lot of authors these days just drop the brand name in and let us make the appropriate judgments on how well the character is dressed–or not. Unfortunately, I don’t know a lot of California brand names, so I can’t get the full flavor of the scene. So I’ve learned something to avoid in my writing. Sure, the brand names will draw contemporary readers in, but over time, their use will stale quickly.

Still, The Monkey’s Raincoat is a good read, even if I don’t understand the title or its allusion. I’m looking forward to the rest of the series anyway.

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Does That Mean What I Think It Means?

From an article entitled “Police: Coroner Confesses To Stealing From Dead – El Paso County Deputy Coroner Says He Sold Stolen Drugs“:

Deputy coroners’ jobs include removing bodies from homes, hospitals and other locations and collecting prescriptions of those who died.

Coroners use the medicine to make sure the victim was taking the prescribed dosage and didn’t die because of an overdose.

The journalist could have phrased that better, ainna?

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The Problem with Preventing Crime

Does anyone see the paradox in this? Pilot arrested in cockpit after screener smells alcohol:

The charge:

An armed AirTran Airways pilot was charged with operating an aircraft under the influence after a federal screener at McCarran International Airport smelled alcohol, authorities said Thursday.

The problem:

“The captain neither took command of the aircraft nor was the aircraft operated in any manner,” the airline said.

Authorities, operating under the assertion of the precogs, have charged this fellow with a crime he was about to commit but had not yet committed. He’s not charged with conspiracy. He is being charged with the actus reus, friends, and if it sticks, it’s precedent.

Keep that in mind the next time you’ve had a couple of beers and go to get something out of the cabin of your car.

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Wince

Surprisingly, a commentary columnist for the St. Louis Post-Dispatch doesn’t like Fox News or conservatives in the media:

“A PBS Mind in a Fox News World.”

I saw that slogan on a bumper sticker, and it resonated with me. I consider many news programs on the Fox network unabashedly partisan and ultraconservative. The idea that millions rely on it for news and information makes me wince.

You know, the thought that anyone gets news or insight from the Post-Dispatch would make me grimace, but I just can’t make that leap of disbelief. The funny pages, yes, because for the Post-Dispatch, they start on page one.

But by unleashing this common broadside of a normal newspaper commentariat who thinks airborne conservative communitariat are vain and whiny, I have to wonder what point the columnist is trying to make, and to whom he has targeted the piece. Does he want to draw the publicity ire of conservatives who will drive readers to him if only to mock him? Is he having a bit of fun with his small circle of readers who are reality-based in a real world?

Also, why do I care? But that’s enough questions for now.

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Elite Gamer Report

Amid an evening spent installing the latest in strategy and first person shooter games, well, if you extend “latest” to include Unreal Tournament 2003, I would like to announce that I have won my first game of Minesweeper in almost a decade.

Not because I suck, mind you, but more because for the first time in ten years I have bought a computer instead of a sack of parts, which means also for the first time in ten years I have had Minesweeper installed.

But I take some small pride in winning nevertheless.

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But I Don’t Have a MUPP

Since I don’t have a Masters in Urban Planning and Policy, of course it strikes me as senseless and tragically humorous that portions of St. Louis County are using eminent domain to turn residential area into retail area, and that portions of the City of St. Louis are turning retail area into residential area.

I will think it equally amusing in twenty or thirty years when the roles reverse, because St. Louis County municipalities’ sales tax diminishes because there are no citizens left to shop in the retail areas and the city determines it can get more in sales tax revenue than in income tax and other revenues from actual citizens.

Had I that precious degree, I would think it very serious indeed.

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Thinking Inside the Box

isn’t doing so well:

Randy Knight set a new record at his Union Station kiosk, and it wasn’t a good one. He had a day, earlier this month, when the crystal figurine and tchotchke stand where he works made just one sale: $15.

At the rental rate of $1,600 a month, it may not be long before his brother-in-law, who owns the kiosk, becomes another failed businessman at the converted train station.

Business is slow at Union Station and seems to be getting slower, shopkeepers say. It doesn’t help that the St. Louis Blues aren’t playing this winter at the nearby Savvis Center. Krieger’s Sports Grill, which opened just a year ago, shut its operation after New Year’s Eve.

Union Station, beautifully restored 20 years ago with a soaring, glass-enclosed shopping area adjoining the former train depot, recently was taken over by a new management company, Jones Lang LaSalle, one of the nation’s largest managers of shopping centers. General Manager Byron Marshall and Marketing Manager Frances Percich have been on the job for less than two months.

“We’re going to come up with a plan,” Marshall said. “We’re very optimistic we can come up with change, some positive change.”

Meanwhile, even though train tracks continue to butt up against the mall so that people who can afford it can ride a to eat and drink well while enjoying the vistas of the junkyards of East St. Louis, rail travellers in St. Louis will visit a new temporary rail station since Amtrak is replacing the previous 25-year-old temporary structure (the Amshack).

So when faced with no shopper traffic in a “revitalized” former train station chock full of shops and kiosks that sell t-shirts and St. Louis souvenirs but very few necessities of life (unless you subsist on coffee and fudge), undoubtedly the obvious answer demands that you turn some of the empty shop space into condominiums.

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Ten Year Plan

Oh, boy, here comes trouble: Homeless no more: Plan seeks to end chronic homelessness in 10 years:

If you can imagine Downtown without any homeless, you can imagine success for a regional plan to end chronic homelessness within 10 years.

I cannot imagine, but then again, I am a taxpayer, not a tax spender. Apparently, their imaginations are better.

The 10-year plan for the city and county will identify the needs and then say what services and housing facilities will be used to end chronic homelessness.

I just bet I can guess what sorts of programs those will include, and how effective the plan will turn out.

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Hollywood Sense Tingling

Does anyone else wonder what this implies?

ABC is teaming with veteran TV movie producer Robert Halmi Sr. for “The Ten Commandments,” a four-hour miniseries that will retell the classic biblical tale of Moses.

Halmi was quick to point out that the miniseries will not be a remake of Cecil B. DeMille’s 1956 movie starring Charlton Heston, but will rely on extensive biblical and historical research for a realistic, truthful presentation of Moses and the Jewish people’s exodus from Egypt and their travel to Mt. Sinai, where, according to the Old Testament, God descended to deliver the Ten Commandments.

“I felt that (the Ten Commandments) is the first written document of law, morality and order for the human race, and we completely ignore it,” said Halmi, whose myriad credits include “Legend of Earthsea,” “Dinotopia” and “The 10th Kingdom.”

Story: ABC to make new ‘Ten Commandments’

That sounds swell. Recasting a biblical “tale” by the fellow who produced The 10th Kingdom (A father and daughter are caught in a parallel universe where the great queens Snow White, Cinderella, and Little Red Riding Hood have had their kingdoms fragmented by warring trolls, giants and goblins.) and The Legend of Earthsea (A reckless youth is destined to become the greatest sorcerer that the mystical land of Earthsea has ever known.).

Does anyone see the potential for offense-giving in this? Let the prelash begin.

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Book Report: From a Buick 8 by Stephen King (2002)

I paid several dollars for a remaindered copy of this book, so you can guess I like Stephen King enough to part with green instead of silver for his books. That’s my disclaimer for bias you’ll find in this book report.

The book chronicles, in a series of flashbacks told as part of a narrative, how a troop of Pennsylvania State Police deal with a portal to some strange world and its occasional tendency to disappear state troopers or disgorge aliens. After the SC (sergeant commander) of the troop recounts the story to the son of a recently-killed trooper, the situation comes to a head in the now as the young man decides –probably under the influence of the alien force — to destroy –or empower–the Buick 8.

The narrative shifts among different speakers both in the present and in the flashbacks, so the narration is somewhat disjointed and not particularly effective. A couple of times in the book, I wanted the action to move a little more quickly, but I made it through. It helped that the book runs only 350 pages, a mere short story for King. Also, he resorts to trickery in the epilogue, poor form, Stephen.

Still, it’s always interesting and inspirational to read a Stephen King book to examine his style and his voices and how he can turn a simple plot into a readable and enjoyable novel.

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Wrong Focus

In this generic Terminally-Ill-Child-Meets-Sports-Hero story, entitled Terminally ill child has a new friend in Favre, the writer focuses on Favre, but the real hero of the story is the private citizen who made it happen:

When Packers fan Tripp Hardin first read Christine’s letter on Jan. 4, he was instantly moved, but he knew that to get them to the game, he had to act quickly.

He knew that Favre occasionally looked at the message board and answered questions. But the game was less than a week away, and he figured the chances of Favre seeing the letter were “slim to none, with slim walking out the door.”

The Packers frequently allow visits from terminally ill children through the Make-A-Wish Foundation, said Cathy Dworak, the team’s manager of community relations. But Christopher’s case was a direct appeal to Favre, so this was his call, not the Packers’.

“Brett decided he wanted to do it,” Dworak said.

Hardin, 45, a financial adviser in Kenosha, is a season ticket holder, and he gave his playoff tickets to the Foppianos. After a busy two days of phone calls to Christine, the Packers’ front office, and his father – who donated his frequent flier miles – Hardin had pulled it off.

This John Q gave up his own tickets and sprung for the flight for the kid and his mother from Texas to Green Bay. Favre? He just showed up and patted the kid on the head.

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Paying My Hockey Dues

As bound by the terms of my participation in the Hockey Whoopass Jamboree, I must post the

logo because the Houston Aeros defeated the Milwaukee Admirals for the second time this season last night.

Worse, the Admirals have fallen to second in their division to a team from Chicago. Come on, a team from Chicago. Chicago sports teams should only be in first when they’re alone in a division, for crying out loud. The Chicago division, specially created so the rest of the country can escape their giant Charybdis, mythical-class sucking.

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Application for Medical Insurance

6. Health Information

D) Do you, or any family member listed in Section 5, take any medicine(s), drugs, pills or herbs, or require shots? X Yes _ No

If you checked any itesm in Question C or answered “yes” to Question D, please complete the following (use additional application form, if necessary):

Name of Person Condition Dates Diagnosed
and Treated
Type of Treatment/
Names of Medications
Current or Further Treatment?
Brian J.     Basil  
Brian J.     Sage  

Well, they asked what herbs I was on.

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