City of St. Louis Now Safe From Fire

Now that the city of St. Louis has driven Praxair out of the state for its intolerable crime of having accidentally caught fire while in the city limits, the city and its residents can now rest easier that they will not be in danger of the hell of burning.

Or not:

St. Louis fire and police officials were investigating two suspicious blazes this morning that heavily damaged unfinished construction projects in the Lafayette Square neighborhood, south of downtown.

No doubt the revered leaders of the neighborhoods and of the city will now rise up to drive construction and residences out of town to prevent them, too, from catching fire. And how the city shall then rejoice when its employment base and its tax-draining resident base live elsewhere, and there’s no chance of fire.

Or at least of fire that will be shown live on the cable news.

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

Allegedly, He Also Liked Dogs

You know what I find stunning about this article, entitled "Shrine to Hitler unnerves community"? Not that some nutty 87-year-old farmer who claims to have been SS has made a shrine in the first place. No, it’s this excessive display of journalistic objectivity:

It’s a beautiful location for a memorial to a man who most believe started World War II, in which 50 million people died, including more than 6 million Jewish people in the Holocaust – that’s all part of what Junker disputes as bunk. [Emphasis added]

So the softening of our collective memory continues; most believe that Hitler started World War II, but since it’s not unanimous, we have to temper our assertion. After all, it could have been Churchill, or Roosevelt, or Karl Rovinski who tricked the Germans into invading Poland, or the aliens who would later crash at Roswell.

Maybe our current leaders are like Hitler, because he apparently wasn’t so bad after all.

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

Book Report: You Might Be A Redneck If…. by Jeff Foxworthy (1989, 1995)

I bought this book for like a quarter this weekend at a garage sale. Did I overpay? Probably. Although, I have to say, Jeff Foxworthy is pretty funny performing, although his country countdown radio program isn’t so exciting. I’ve got one of his comedy CDs and everything.

However, this book merely collects Foxworthy’s most famous one liners. That’s it. Just the one liners without Foxworthy’s expert comic timing or delivery. Some are amusing on their own, but in the aggregate, they’re not as funny collected in a book as, say, The Late Night With David Letterman’s Book of Top Ten Lists. The humor in these stands alone, aside from the performance.

Of course, you have my opinion here versus the opinion of buyers everywhere who kept this book in print for fifteen years. It’s a quick read though, worthy of a browse, I suppose, as you’re waiting for a hockey game to start, much like I did. Also, it’s good for boosting one’s annual books read rate.

So it’s probably a waste of time, but in the book’s defense, it doesn’t claim to be anything else and it’s not much time anyway.

Books mentioned in this review:


 

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

Book Report: Ice by Ed McBain (1983)

This 87th Precinct novel runs a weighty 317 pages and delves into character depth that many of the novels don’t. As a matter of fact, one of the great appeals of this particular series, over its 40 some years, is that the books vary not only in plot, but also stylistically. Some are quick epidodes at 150 pages with lots of reproduced police forms to pad them, and some, like this one, are denser prose.

The story details the murder of an actress in a hit play downtown. The 87th Precinct inherits the case as a small time drug pusher in their precinct died from the same lead poisoning days before. As they try to find a connection between the coke dealer and the actress, they have to deal with their own issues, particularly Kling’s failed marriage to model Augusta Blair.

I suppose it helps read these books in order….for example, the book I read previously, Poison, takes place after this books, so the personal relationships are advanced beyond where they are in this book. I already know how the romances and whatnot will turn out, but the books don’t hinge on the personal relationships alone. Instead, the plots and the basic familarity with the characters and the rotation of the characters and….blah blah blah.

You know I like ’em, and I’m going to keep reading them and picking them up whenever I can for a buck a crack at book fairs. I got this one, among others, at the Greater St. Louis Book Fair. So be warned, this won’t be the last book report of an Ed McBain book you ignore in the coming months.

Books mentioned in this review:


Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

Book Report: California Roll by Roger L. Simon (1985, 2001)

As some of you know, I bought four of Roger L. Simon’s Moses Wine novels The Big Fix, Peking Duck, The Lost Coast, and this book) for $5 a throw at a remaindered book store in November, 2004. Oh, how the world has changed since then. Roger L. Simon is now an Internet mogul. Byron Preiss, the man behind the company that reissued the novels, has died and the iBooks has gone belly up. And I’m in no danger of becoming a Moses Wine fan.

This book deals with Moses Wine, ca. 1985, joining a computer company patterned after Apple as its director of security. Wine is given cryptic instructions by the Wiz (not Woz, get it?) that Wine’s not only to handle security, but to look into…something. It’s corporate espionage and it requires a trip to Japan (much like Peking Duck requires a trip to China). We get the obligatory action in Japan, wherein the first person narrator who’s never been to Japan and doesn’t know much about the country provides some excellent expository information. In the end, of course, it’s the government agent gone rogue that’s killing everyone. Except for the Russians, who are killing people too. Or someone.

Here are some quick bullet points that capture what bothers me about this book and the series:

  • Moses Wine has been on the cover of Rolling Stone. When a private detective becomes a celebrity, I don’t really relate to the character much. See also Robert Crais’s Elvis Cole.
  • The voice of the first time visitor to Japan laying on the expository information and Japanese terms rankles me. It’s the sound of an author who wants to show he’s done his research.
  • Although I didn’t work at a computer company in the 1980s, I’ve done my time in the 1990s and the 2000s. I found the characterization of the culture at Tulip facile.
  • The introductions by the author were a bit much. I guess that’s what they wanted with the reissues, but I found it self-indulgent.
  • Moses Wine reminds me less of Lew Archer and more of Dirk Gently, with drug use and nonchalant sex.

There you have it. I made it through the four books I read, and don’t plan to seek out the remaining in the series.

Books mentioned in this review:


 

 

 

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

Initially, I Agree With Him

Sean Hackbarth at The American Mind says:

A minor pet peeve of mine is being called only by my first name when I’m mentioned with my weblog….

I agree with Sean. Dammit, you people, I have a middle initial. J. It’s right there between The Brian and the Noggle in my name. How can I make my pretentiousness known if I don’t enforce proper branding, and how will people tell me apart from the other famous Brian Noggles of the world unless the J. is present?

If you cannot link me right, I insist you not link me at all. Which, I believe, is actually much of the blogosphere’s current policy.

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

Cost Overruns Unexpected, Again

Capital projects might cost more than expected:

The county’s capital improvement projects, including the building of a new juvenile detention center and administration building, may cost more than county officials anticipated.

Although county commissioners hoped to complete the projects for less than $8 million, that objective looks grim. Executives at the Paric Corporation, the firm hired to manage construction, anticipate the cost of projects may exceed $10 million.

Isn’t it funny how the only people who tend to be caught off-guard by these unexpected cost overruns are the government officials in charge of authorizing the initial outlays? I mean, we taxpayers come to expect it and the companies who end up receiving the extra money no doubt count on it.

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

Feline Conspiracy Continues Apace

Tristan, the Emperor

Emperor Tristan I reports his plan for feline domination is continuing as scheduled:

  • Despite jingoistic propoganda to the contrary, cat scientists have beaten dogs to the secret of hypoallergenic pets:

    Cats produce a protein, FEL D1, that is an exquisite allergen for some sensitive individuals, meaning contact with a kitty results in streaming eyes, sneezing and general unhappiness on the human side of the relationship.

    In an effort to bring cats to the cat-challenged, Allerca, a San Diego-based biotech planned to harness gene silencing techniques to develop a breed of cat that did not express FEL D1, thus creating a hypoallergenic cat. Allerca announced their plans three years ago, [sic] and started collecting deposits from allergic cat fans, but have now decided that their plans to use RNA interference were taking a back seat to a more traditional breeding approach, albeit one that uses genetic testing to select individuals that express low levels of FEL D1.

  • Cats are working at the highest levels of the entertainment industry to infiltrate reality television:

    The fur really could fly on TV’s latest reality entry: It stars cats. Ten felines, picked from animal shelters nationwide, will live in a New York house to vie – a la “Big Brother” or “Survivor” – for a grand prize, in this instance an executive-level job with Meow Mix cat food.

All hail the wisdom of our feline overlords and get them bowls of Fancy Feast now!

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

102nd Use For A Dead Chihuahua

Cudgel:

A woman is accused of repeatedly hitting a dog breeder on the head with a dead Chihuahua puppy because she was upset it had died.

Good news for the victim, though:

The breeder did not seek medical attention, police said…

Because it’s always damn embarrassing to end up in traction from a crazed chihuahua attack…

but she and two other people in the home got temporary orders of protection against the dog owner.

Because you never know when the nutbar will come back with a dead Saint Bernard and do the job right.

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

A Fiendish Consistency Is Another Hobgoblin of Little Minds

The St. Louis teachers’ union hasn’t met a compulsion it didn’t like, and apparently doesn’t know what "fair" means:

St. Louis teachers have clashed with Superintendent Creg Williams lately over teacher absenteeism, payroll system glitches and the requirement that 1,000 teachers must reapply for their jobs. The teachers even passed a no-confidence vote on Sunday.

But now, the union representing teachers will sit down with Williams – possibly within a week – to solicit his support for a measure that would require district employees who have declined to join the union to pay union dues.

If adopted by the St. Louis School Board, the “fair share proposal” introduced at a Tuesday night work session would require teachers, clerical workers, safety officers and teacher assistants who are not members of Local 420 to pay union dues.

The teachers’ union plays its role in squandering compulsively-collected taxpayer money. Why shouldn’t it feel it has the right to demand the right to squander compelled contributions from non-members, too?

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

Book Report: Escape from Reason by Francis A. Schaeffer (1968)

Executive Summary: Thomas Aquinas is teh suck!!!1!!!

I don’t remember where I got this book; it’s either a book fair bag filler or something that was in the free bin at Hooked on Books. However, since I was on a short, smart book kick, I picked it up.

This cover calls the book a penetrating analysis of trends in modern thought. The introduction goes further: as it’s an evangelical book, its goal is to frame traditional, even fundamental Christian thought with modern philosophical schools of thought. As such, it studies the dual nature of man (nature and grace) and how this fundamental dual nature has been corrupted through various schools of philosophical thought. When Thomas Aquinas intimated that only man’s will suffered from The Fall but that the intellect was capable of arriving independently at grace through its observations of nature and so on, he set into motion the eventual slippery slope where the autonomous lower half of man will overrun the higher half.

Ergo, throughout philosophical history, Kant and Rousseau saying that Freedom is the higher order of man and Nature is the lower, but the mechanistic view of human nature eventually logically trumps freedom, or the Christian Existentialist view (courtesy of Kierkegaard) that divides man’s duality into reason and faith (where the leap of faith is rationally inexplicable), or the regular Existentialist view where an act of will is the highest order.

I don’t remember most of the primary texts that the author refers to, so I can only say that the book poses a relatively sound exploration of the theme. I’m not sure, though, whether I’d characterize the Existentialists as embracing the dual nature of man. The author refers specifically to Sartre’s Nausea and how the Existentialists triumphs over the absurd and achieves the higher portion of himself through an act of will, of seeking authenticity. I remember just enough of my Sartre to suspect that this is a convenient reading of true Existentialism, which is monoist in nature.

So although the book does take a couple things a priori, such as the basic framework of its evangelical Christian roots with the cmbination of Jesus and The Scriptures as a framework for all thought, science, and art, it provided a handy (and short) mechanism for me to resharpen my old philosophical edges.

It looks as though this book and others by this author remain fairly popular–hence their higher prices at Amazon. Perhaps I lucked out in getting this first American printing so cheaply. I better bronze it.

Books mentioned in this review:


Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

Headline Written By Another Satisfied Customer, No Doubt

St. Louis teachers [sic] union issues vote of no confidence:

The union representing St. Louis Public Schools teachers on Sunday issued a vote of no confidence in the district administration.

About 600 union members voted unanimously, said Mary Armstrong, Local 420 president. The vote took place at an emergency meeting called to address several issues that arose at the end of the school year, primarily the notification of more than 1,000 teachers that they will have to reapply for their jobs under a federal- and state-mandated reorganization plan.

Too bad this isn’t a parliamentary system, and the school board cannot fall, leaving the teachers to build a broad coalition and vote themselves into luxury at the public expense.

Oh, but no, they’ve got their futile votes and informational pickets, and I can only actually hope that they’re futile and that the overpaid administrators will inadvertently do what’s right for the students in the midst of voting themselves into luxury at the public expense.

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

Catching Up On Book Reports and Tabulating

As you’ll note in the posts below, I’ve had a couple of books on my desk for review for a bit. Before you get into skipping those book reports, allow me to taunt you with a bit of “nyah nyah” as I enumerate the books I’ve read in this NGY (Noggle Goal Year, which runs December 27, 2005, through December 27, 2006):

  • The Empty Trap John D. MacDonald
  • The Executioners John D. MacDonald
  • Mine the Harvest Edna St. Vincent Millay
  • Johnny Mnemonic Terry Bisson
  • The Museum of Hoaxes Alex Boese
  • Suspects William J. Cannitz
  • Wild Pitch Mike Lupica
  • The Olympics’ Most Wanted Floyd Conner
  • Peking Duck Roger L. Simon
  • 100 People Who Are Screwing Up America Bernard Goldberg
  • The American Private Eye: The Image in Fiction David Geherin
  • Sea Change Robert B. Parker
  • Pet Sematary Stephen King
  • Collected Stories Franz Kafka
  • Under the Grammar Hammer Douglas Cazort
  • The Wealthy Writer Michael Meanwell
  • Planning and Remodeling Family Rooms, Dens & Studios Sunset Books
  • The Brass Cupcake John D. MacDonald
  • The Substance of Style Virginia Postrel
  • Blood Relatives Ed McBain
  • The Hanged Man’s Song John Sandford
  • Servant of the Shard R.A. Salvatore
  • Gerald’s Game Stephen King
  • How to Break Software James A. Whittaker
  • Slightly Chipped Lawrence & Nancy Goldstone
  • Warmly Inscribed Lawrence & Nancy Goldstone
  • The Case Against Hillary Clinton Peggy Noonan
  • The Stainless Steel Rat for President Harry Harrison
  • Bosstrology Adele Lang and Andrew Masterson
  • Bump & Run Mike Lupica
  • Blowback Bill Pronzini
  • Everybody’s Guide to Book Collecting Charlie Lovett
  • His Affair Jo Fleming
  • Sharky’s Machine William Diehl
  • The Baby in the Icebox James M. Cain
  • Biblioholism: The Literary Addiction Tom Raabe
  • Aftermath LeVar Burton
  • Expecting Gordon Churchwell
  • Poison Ed McBain
  • The Life of Charlemagne Einhard

I won’t bother you with a set of links, gentle reader, nor a tile of Amazon come ons. However, do note that unless you’re keeping pace for 100+ books this year, I am better than you, nyah nyah.

Thank you, that is all.

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

Book Report: The Life of Charlemagne by Einhard (1960, 1972)

This is what happens on the last day of a book fair. It’s a couple dollars for a bag, so suddenly, you’re not justifying the purchase of a book, you’re looking for an excuse. So when I’d put down $3 at the Webster Groves Book Fair this year, I had only to acknowledge that I didn’t actually have a biography of Charlemagne. Suddenly, I had one on my to-read shelf.

Fortunately, this is a brief book. At seventy some pages, it took me a little under an hour to read. Written by a contemporary of Charlemagne who was in the court of Charlemagne’s son Louis the Pious, this book doesn’t interpret the Frank leader in some sort of modernistic mechanism. Einhard didn’t come to bury Charlemagne, Einhard came to praise him. The author, a member of the ninth century court, praises Charles the Great for his marital exploits, but also for his love of learning and his role in the Carolingian Renaissance. Although he couldn’t write, Charles I liked to read and to hear readings and encourage scholarship throughout his expanding realm.

Although I’ve read my Cantor a decade ago, it’s good to touch base with some medieval history–even if it’s French. So if I’m asked whom the line of kings Charlemagne replaced (the Merovignian, like that dude from The Matrix) or who succeeded him (his son Louis, the Pious), I’m set. I’d better hie to a Trivia Night hence.

However, before I go, I’d like to note, briefly, some of the things which struck me as I read this book:

  • Man, the “great” leaders from history ruled a long time, ainna? Charlemagne ruled for 45 years in a time where that exceeded the life expectancy by a factor of 2. He was ruling his original subjects’ grandchildren. Think of Harry Truman or Dwight Eisenhower as our president.
  • Charlemagne carried on a war, hot and cold, against the Saxons for 33 years. Obviously, he didn’t have a mainstream media complaining the whole way.
  • Man, these old-style books are short. I mean, this weighs in at under 75 pages, The Prince weighs in at under 100…. The unfortunate rising tide of science and the standard of living has propelled modern books into the 300-400 page range and beyond, which slows down a “scholar” like me who reads any old thing I can stuff in a bag at a book fair.
  • Sometimes, footnotes are less than worthless. In the edition I have, I started following the endnotes (which meant I was flipping back and forth, not only looking down), but many of the notes were only the names of other Frank rulers I should know if I were using this as a primary source in a college class or a reference to another freaking end note (see 93). I mean, unless you’re going to shed some light outside the translator’s/editor’s particular section of a college class, why bother?

Hey, all silliness aside, I’d recommend this book if you can grab it cheaply. If you click the link below, you’ll find a number of options, including the latest version available as a college textbook. This was the sort of textbook I loved in school: something I could borrow from the library and Xerox cheaply. Still, gentle reader, please take a moment to look for this book or similar material for low prices on eBay, Amazon, or your local book fair or garage sale. They give one such perspective into human history and the modern day.

Books mentioned in this review:


Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories