Too Soon

Facebook must know this story already to have presented this to me:

I lost on that word in 8th grade in the spelling bee, the feeder that could have taken me to Washington, D.C., although probably not–the words the kids win on these days are crazy. Maybe they were easier forty years ago, but I would have topped out maybe in districts at best. Maybe state, but probably not.

But I lost very early on threshold when Mr. Biedenstein, my 8th grade teacher and later (but still in the 1900s) became mayor of the new town of Byrnes Mill (old town, but newly chartered or whatever), when Mr. Biedenstein pronounced threshold with three Hs.

Not that I am bitter or anything.

Actually, no. Although I dominated the class-based fun-and-games from 8th grade Speech and Drama class games Alphabetics (not unlike Password) and Show-Offs (not unlike charades) and on to Honors Western Civ’s Jeopardy! my senior year of high school, when it came time to do actual competitions with other schools, I did not do so well. I did not study, so I got bounced out of the Civics/History trivia competition my senior year of high school very early.

I am pleased to note, however, that when I attended my sons’ Scholar Bowl tournament at their high school, I found I would have cleaned up on most but the fast-calculating math questions.

So I have that going for me, which is nice.

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Vice Doesn’t Pay The State What It Used To

:

JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. (KCTV) – A new report found Missouri schools lost $35 million in lottery funding, despite a $5 million advertising boost.

State Auditor Scott Fitzpatrick said the findings raise questions about whether increased advertising actually boosts lottery sales and education funding.

The audit found that lottery transfers to education remained relatively consistent in years with reduced advertising spending. However, in that dropped in Fiscal Year 2024 when advertising appropriations were partially restored.

By the Numbers
The audit found that in Fiscal Year 2024:

  • Advertising spending jumped to $5.4 million, up from about $400,000 in the previous year
  • Total lottery revenue dropped by $49 million
  • Transfers to education fell by $35.3 million to $389.8 million

It’s because the newer national lotteries, Mega Millions and Powerball, get the splash in the news when their regular high payouts draw attention, and although (I think) Missouri gets a cut of the ticket sales, it’s lower than the MO Millions (the new $2 ticket which replaced the Missouri Lotto) generates.

And I think they’re about to get worse news once the impact of the sportsbook gambling is felt/tallied/appears in the monthly or annual reports. They probably have already seen something of it.

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What Sport Are They Covering?

So radio commercials are having a bit of a resurgeance or renaissance of sorts judging by the new variety I hear–not just local construction companies and, later, gambling ads, but national brands like Vicks and national brands with local presences like Whataburger are running spots. Good! Keep broadcast radio alive for me, for the times I listen to it (which is brief interludes until I realize that the playlists are as long as Spotify radio).

But Vicks has one where the setup is that two sports commentators are talking about an upcoming game deciding the champ between the two teams, but one has a sore throat. He takes the medication and is ready to go leading to this exchange:

Healed commentator: He really vaporized that ball!

Other guy: You deserve a penalty for that pun.

And I got to thinking, “What sport is that?” I mean, a sport where you apparently hit the ball as hard as you can but has penalties? Not baseball. Not hockey (it mentions a ball). “Vaporize” the ball does not make sense in soccer or football.

Golf? Tennis? The commercial had a roaring crowd in the background, so probably no.

Which leads to the next question: Did the copywriters and everyone involved not know these things did not go together? Or was the whole thing an exercise in LLM-generation (supervised by someone who did not know anything about sportsball and was probably proud of it)?

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Not Quoted: Economics

Opened in 2023 to fill a food desert, this Sentry Foods is now closing:

Less than three years after it opened to fill a food desert on Milwaukee’s northwest side, the Sentry Foods at 6350 West Silver Spring Drive is abruptly closing its doors.

The closure is the latest in a swath of grocery stores shutting down across the city, largely affecting lower income neighborhoods with little access to fresh foods. An Aldi store just two miles away shuttered last week, and other neighborhoods have protested Pick ‘n Save closures.

I thought about the address, and that’s the shopping center across the street from Westlawn (now, apparently, reconstructed as Westlawn Gardens) which was one of the sister housing developments to Berryland, the projects in which I lived. Didn’t get out that way much when I lived in Berryland–I guess my dad’s friend Gene lived a couple blocks east of it and north–but I passed the place when I was in school–I want to say it was a Kohl’s grocery store at the time, but land’s sakes, child, that was in the 1900s.

They quote a note attached to the door:

“This decision was not made lightly. Many factors were carefully considered before coming to this difficult conclusion. Saying goodbye is truly painful, and we are deeply sorry to bring this news to the community that has supported us over the years,” the notice reads.

But the rest of the article is mostly the usual food dessert, food dessert, food dessert nonsense, but no real analysis of why groceries struggle in those areas. Because if the real reasons were explained, people might not want the journalists’ preferred solutions.

What are the people buying? If it’s not fresh meat and fresh vegetables, but rather processed food, snacks, soda, beer, and cigarettes, you can buy those things at a convenience store. At a significant markup, sure, but you might need that markup in a grocery store to account for shrinkage, both due to theft and to spoilage of perishables.

And I get it from the customer side, too. I have schlepped a 25lb frozen turkey (my Christmas bonus) four miles from the store to my father’s house in the cold and the snow. You cannot carry a week’s worth of groceries several miles walking or on the bus, and making more frequent trips might take two or three hours or so, a huge time sink every day or couple of days.

Not sure what the solution is at the societal or government level–or if any such solution would make things better and not worse (except for those administering the solutions, of course–it’s always better for them), but at the individual level, it’s a strong social network or family ties.

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Those Are Rookie Numbers

Spotify’s 2025 summary reveals something…. Mostly untrue about me.

84 years old? More like 84 decibels minimum, you mean. And Tine Thing Helseth? I bought one of her CDs a number of years ago, but she’s not my favorite trumpeter by any means–and classical is not my favorite genre.

What Spotify’s algorithm does not know is that I favor metal for workouts, and most of my purchases are in the vein; over on YouTube, I let its algorithms (“radio”) run on to see if I will hear something new (not often–it insists on replaying things I’ve seen before to keep me engaged). That my radio presets are to the best of 80s, 90s, and today. That I listen to country whilst mowing the lawn and sometimes whilst dusting the upstairs. That I play a wide variety of genres on the turntable upstairs. My computer tends to stream KCSM or WSIE jazz radio stations for background music all day.

But, Spotify. Which I stream in one circumstance: In the evenings, when I am reading in the common area downstairs. My beautiful wife sometimes reads/works there as well, so she prefers instrumentals. And trumpet. So I stream Jackie Gleason. Or Herb Alpert. Or Chuck Mangione. Or Cindy Bradley. I select an artist or sometimes a genre and let it roll. And, you know what? It tends to fall back on the same things over and over again. No matter what I pick (David Sanborn! Miles Davis! Bert Kaempfert! Freddie Hubbard!) it all circles back to Herb Alpert and Chuck Mangione. Which is why I don’t stream Spotify on the computer to find new music. It ends up back at Amaranthe and Within Temptation all the time. Apparently, I have streamed the Tine Thing Helseth “radio” eleven times last year, because its playlist is probably relatively limited and played this song every time.

Maybe I’m an outlier because so much of my life is outside the reach of data brokers and algorithms, but Spotify does not know me very well. And most companies, except the ones listening to me on phones, don’t, either.

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Good Book Hunting: Week of January 17, 2026

Ah, gentle reader. No book or garage sales to report, no stack, so no photo. But for your information (and by your, I mean the me looking to write a book report for that one book sometime in the future my), I have gotten several books in the last week or so, mostly with an eye to the 2026 Winter Reading Challenge.

Because I needed a heating element in a hurry, as I mentioned, I broke my Amazon tweehad and ordered one–and I ordered a CD (Battle Beast’s Steelbound) to take myself over the $35 free shipping. That one arrived intact, fortunately, but then I thought to order one to have in reserve in case the latest installed one goes out. So I did, ordering two books to fit reading challenge categories to get to $35:

  • An Amish Marriage Agreement by Patrice Lewis for the “Genre New To You” category.
  • Native American Songs and Poems, a Dover thrift edition (they still make them? Mercy!) for the “Native American Author” category (although authors on this book would be plural, but that’s splitting hairs.

But! Although Amazon shipped the first heating element I ordered in a sturdy box, the second one was shipped only in its plastic sleeve. So, as you might expect, it arrived bent, and it is going back. I will ship it back in the sturdy box the first one arrived in so they can see the damage wrought by the “efficiency” of quicker picking and shipping. To recap: That’s a full fifty percent of these heating elements ordered from Amazon which have arrived damaged. Tweehad: REACTIVATED.

On Saturday, ABC Books had a book signing, so I went. I was a little rushed, so I only got two books:

  • Where the Wind Never Sleeps by Ruth M. Sherwood, a memoir of her parents life as homesteaders in northeastern Montana through her early life in the area in the 1940s when German POWs helped with their sugar beet crops. It sounds fascinating to me, who likes these personal narratives of life in the 19th and early 20th centuries in rural areas, and I overheard her telling Mrs. E. that she raised her family in Alaska–so maybe she has more books or more books forthcoming. But she’s 86. And when I came into the shop, she was browsing for more books. Which is an inspiration to me who sometimes thinks “I’m getting up there, and I won’t read all these books before I die.”
  • Priceless by Dave Ramsey. As I put these books on my credit card, I can only expect Dave Ramsey would respond thusly:

So that’s three shorter books for the Winter Reading Challenge and one longer book I’m looking forward to reading. Which will be helpful after I finish the “500+ Pages” category that I’ve gone for early.

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Not a Book Report: Beginners Coin Collecting Check List

I have no idea where I picked this up, the Beginners Coin Collecting Check List:

But it is a flat-spined, although thin, mass market paperback-sized book, and the 2026 Winter Reading Challenge has a category called Money, so I thought I would pick it up.

What did I expect? Some text interspersed with lists of coins, I suppose. However, like the moose outside the park told me, it is a checklist of coins.

Tables of coins with columns of coin grades so you can check off what you have.

Oh, gentle reader. Even I, the most capricious and arbitrary of book counters, cannot call that a book that I have read either for annual accounting purposes or for the Winter Reading Challenge.

But I will add it to my book database and put on the read shelves anyway. Because as we get further into the 21st century, I feel more like I’m LARPing a monastery in the previous dark ages, storing up printed knowledge until someone is ready to read it again, although ultimately given my children are now of this generation, likely my collection will be dispersed at an estate sale, donated to a book sale, and/or ground into recyclable cat litter in a couple of decades (I hope! The couple of decades part, not the cat litter part).

And, you know what? This little booklet would be pretty handy if I were a coin collector, historic foreign coins notwithstanding–and, note: 1) I have not actually added to my collection since then, although I did return to the coin show solo one year with the thoughts I might and 2) the son who was briefly into coin collecting is no longer, since he was more into coin speculating by buying boxes of coins at the bank and going through them to see if any collectibles were in the box, so he wouldn’t want this book.

It would be nice if I had something like this for books or records come book sale time, where I could check to see if I had something that looked interesting already. But that would require completely cataloging records and adding the unread books to my books database. It would also include purchasing a subscription to a hosted database of some sort or rolling my own (and paying hosting fees for it, which might be less or more than a subscription to a hosted app). Instead, I will just spend the, what, twenty dollars a year (maybe) in purchasing duplicates and then donating them or giving them away.

Now, onto the other coin collecting book I have selected for Money instead of a book about finances. I didn’t spot anything that was purely money management in my stacks–just books about being a freelancer at various things and investing in flipping houses (of which I have a plethora from the turn of the century, when I was considering it–ah, the wealth I sacrificed by not being arsed).

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Book Report: The Beasts of Tarzan by Edgar Rice Burroughs (1914, 1961)

Book coverSo for the In a Different Country category of the 2026 Winter Reading Challenge, when I was gathering prospective reads for the categories, I grabbed Nadine Gordimer’s July’s People, a literary novel elevating the bleks and putting white South Africans in their place which I read in college (in a copy I might have borrowed from the campus library as was my wont in those years) and later picked up in hardback. Undoubtedly, this is what the librarians wanted: a proper literary book with a proper literary message. Oh, but no. You get a Tarzan novel.

Not sure where I picked this copy up, but I do know that somehow I ended up with two copies of this book, both in the 1960s Ballantine printings with the hideous 60s covers. And I’ve been reading the Tarzan books out of order, apparently; I read both Tarzan of the Apes and The Return of Tarzan, the first two books in the series, in 2009 and Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle, the 11th book in the series, last year. This is the third book, but I probably did not have it when I read the other two books–although without its (or their, considering I bought two copies probably at different times), perhaps I did but it was shuffled in the move. Certainly, in those days, the Nogglestead library was not quite as double-stuffed and unkempt as it is now.

So, after quickly reviewing the previous book reports, I guess this is a pretty stock Tarzan plot. Something connives to get Tarzan to Africa, where wild things happen. In this case, Russian nemesis, presumably from the last book, escapes prison, links up with a colleague and some unsavory fellows, and they kidnap Tarzan’s son and tell Tarzan they’re going to have him raised by a tribe of cannibals. They connive to get Tarzan, too, and they do. And! As a bonus, Jane follows Tarzan to an unsavory meeting and they get the drop on her, too. So they strand Tarzan on an island not far off the coast of Africa which allows Tarzan to gather a troupe of apes and one panther to cross to the mainland and begin the chase.

So a series of set encounters occur, and Tarzan twice decided to sleep in the village of hostile natives, allowing the bad guys to get the jump on him. The book shifts perspectives from Tarzan to that of Jane and/or the bad guys, sometimes shifting into the past to catch up with one group or another, but allowing to end a chapter and section on a cliffhanger to be resolved a couple of chapters later.

So it’s an okay piece of pulp, and, again, an enduring character–this edition came out fifty years after the original, and I’m reading it over a hundred years after it was published. So it’s got that going for it, which is nice. Also, for something coming out at the turn of the 20th century, one (educated in the very end of the last century or beginning of this one) would think it all racism and misogyny, but although Jane is sometimes helpless when overpowered by stronger males, she definitely is not a docile character. And some of the African natives are bad, but some are good. You know, a little like real life. So the pulp of 1914 is more realistic and treats people more akin to people rather than message-conveying ciphers that you get in some modern cartoonish depictions. But that’s why I read the old books.

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Brian J. Goes 1 of 2 On Appliance Repairs This Weekend

Ah, gentle reader. It started out so promising.

The day we left for Branson last week, that is, late Sunday morning, my beautiful wife was preparing to roast some pecans in the oven when she heard a pop, and the oven did not heat up. Ah, heating element again.

You might remember the saga last year:

To be clear: Apparently, this part shipped from St. Louis, Missouri, two days later (December 28), and:

  • Arrived and left the carrier facility in St. Louis twice.
  • Arrived in Kansas City on January 1, and then left the facility twice.
  • Arrived in Springfield facility January 2, last Thursday, twice.

And there it sits. It is still scheduled to arrive by Wednesday, after I ordered it and twelve days since it shipped from St. Louis. Which is a three hour drive away. For some reason, it was routed through Kansas City for a week.

I guess I did not follow-up on that experience, but that particular part was shipped from St. Louis unpadded in a 1″ tall cardboard box which arrived bent, and the heating element in it was bent 20 degrees itself. So, unusable. I was able to return it even though the Amazon seller was a Ukrainian(!) company shipping from St. Louis or something–probably used parts from a junkyard or something. But they gave me a refund, and I got a heating element from a US-based (maybe) source and installed it.

Well. It lasted a year. But I ordered another from the same seller on Amazon (ending my tweehad against them for the moment)–getting ready to leave for the week, I felt too rushed to look at appliance parts sellers themselves on the Internet, and it was only when I was in Branson that I thought I hope I didn’t just order from the Ukrainian company again. But it came properly packaged and intact.

And since I had already done this and because it’s basically two 1/4 bolts and two screws to attach the leads, I had the oven up and running in under a half an hour.

So, on Sunday, I decided to crack open the refrigerator. Again.

Pretty much since we got the refrigerator, it would rattle when the compressor/evaporator fan stopped. But late last year, it started getting louder and rattling longer, so I figured I would take a look at it. Which means I would have Nico take a look at it.

A couple of years ago, I successfully defrosted the frozen drain line from the frost-free freezer, so I was unafraid.

I’d done some research, and the things on YouTube (which featured far younger refrigerators than this one, which is 26 years old and has metal parts in it) indicated it might be dirty coils or ice buildup on the coils leading to the fan nicking the ice. It might have been motor bearings. We cleaned it out, and it looked as the fan was running smoothly, but it did rattle when running. The shaft holding the fan on had a couple millimeters of give where it could go into and out of the motor that far. I guessed that it would be something we could live with whilst I researched maybe replacing the fan and/or motor.

But it seemed like the fan was running more frequently than previously. Several times an hour, it rattled for the length of the runtime. After I closed it back up, my wife said it sounded different. Perhaps I left the sheet metal on the back a little loose? After dinner, I thought to look at the temperature controls to see if maybe they might have changed. And the freezer was set to the absolute lowest setting. A-ha! I thought. When I tried to dial it up, though, it resisted and then popped. But now the fan was permanently on. Not good.

So, after a couple hours of listening to the beating of his tell-tale heart rattling fan, I had us move the contents of the 26-year-old refrigerator to the 45-year-old drink refrigerator behind the bar downstairs while we explore our options (buy a new refrigerator with an expected life of 10 years).

Not without some self-doubt, gentle reader, not without some self-doubt. My father’s handy angel on my right shoulder encourages me to fix it (and expresses silently doubt that I can), but that might involve a cycle of ordering a $60 part, nope, that’s not it, ordering a $60 part, no, that’s not it until I listen to the devil of modern disposable culture on the left. So, yeah, we’re getting a new refrigerator.

Next internal conflict: Do I keep this refrigerator to try to fix it in my spare time? Well, no. The garage does not have room for it. And maybe I should actually get into the habit of taking care of things before I get these ambitions. So, no, they’ll haul it away and either recycle it or fix it and resell it. Which I could do myself were I so inclined, but history has shown I have not been so inclined.

Maybe the theme of the year should be Get away from the damned desk and take care of things.

At any rate, I have ordered an extra heating element for the oven. Which might end up cluttering the garage and its museum of parts for appliances Brian J. fixed but then got sick of and replaced (with several dryer wheel kits for an old Whirlpool dryer and tub suspension rods for a Samsung washer).

And, wait a minute. Does the exhaust fan motor sound different?

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Like A Siren In a Radio Ad That You Hear When You’re Driving

KCSM played “Triangle” by Herbie Hancock this morning, and I sat up and took notice. Especially at about the 7:23 mark.

That jangle sounds just like my weather alert radio which I have set to go off only in the event of a tornado warning.

Won’t I be surprised if there’s a nuclear assault and I don’t get the alert.

But I had to turn down the speakers to make sure it was the song on the Internet radio and not an actual tornado in the clear blue sky. Or a failure of the weather radio.

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Book Report: The Pride of Chanur by C.J. Cherryh (1981)

Book coverThis book is a two-fer in the 2026 Winter Reading Challenge; it would fit into the Science Fiction/Fact category, but I’m putting it into the Nonhuman Character category. Looking at the list, many of the categories whisper to me books that would also fit into the Science Fiction/Fact category as well. So I will probably listen to that whisper to get my two-fers.

And I must confess, gentle reader: I read this book about forty years ago. And my first exposure to it was from a song. You see, at some point in middle school or high school, I ordered an inexpensive cassette called Quarks and Quests from the back of a science fiction magazine. It was a “filk” (science fiction and fantasy folk music) collection which included “The Pride of Chanur” by Leslie Fish:

I spotted it in a library at some point thereafter–I remember it was in the original DAW paperback but with the library binding (basically, a hardback with the paperback inside and the paperback cover pasted on the outside). I picked up this volume in a book club edition in 2007 (the same day I bought After Worlds Collide, the sequel to a book I read in sixth grade and the follow-up recently, in 2024), so it’s a hardback with the paperback front cover on the front dustjacket. Weird.

At any rate, the book starts out on a trading station where the crew of a cat-like race called the hani are loading cargo when a nearly naked and bleeding creature that is keeping to the shadows bolts onto the ship. Spoiler alert: It’s an unknown-to-them species, but it’s human, and the kif, a race of raiders and pirates, want it back so they can torture it to reveal its homeworld so they can raid trade with it (::wink::). The haniem> on the ship, the Pride of Chanur, decide not to give the human up, so it turns into a bit of an interstellar war. Kind of like the song says.

So the book has a bunch of world- galaxy-building, detailing the internal politics of the clans of the hani and the relationships between the races. It alludes to the technologies the different species use, but it doesn’t go into excruciating detail. It has but a few set pieces–fleeing, hiding at the edges of a system, and so on, and then it culminates in a trip to the hani home world to handle some intrigue and a rush back to orbit for an epic space battle handled with a bit of a “Wait, what?” deus ex machina climax followed by a long dénouement.

Apparently, the book spawned four additional books over the next decade and are part of the same universe as Cherryh’s Downbelow books, of which I read Merchanter’s Luck for the Winter Reading Challenge in 2023. So it looks like James Wilder is not the only author to make a repeat appearance on the forms. Some librarian or librarians will think I don’t read widely at all.

Also, forty years later, I still pronounce the name cherry-h although I am sure that I have read her Wikipedia entry before (likely in 2023), so maybe someday I will remember it’s pronounced just Cherry because that is her real last name–the h was added to make it look less like a romance author’s name.

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We Should Call The House “Nogglestasis” Instead Of Nogglestead

Ah, gentle reader. The bath toys.

It was 2013 when 2013 when I lamented that my children would grow up and not want Mr. Bubble baths and their bath toys:

I’ve already gamed it out: the older boy will one day decide Mr. Bubble is for babies, much like he decided at one point that Sesame Street is for babies, and that will be that. Perhaps the younger will hold out hope for another dash of the Mr. Bubble at some point, but he’ll follow his older brother’s lead, and he’ll stop asking for toys in the bathtub and for bubbles.

Eventually, the toys will get cleaned up and donated to a church sale or some such collection, but the last bottle of Mr. Bubble will just migrate to the rear of the cabinet. Periodically, I’ll clean and rearrange the contents of the cabinet, but I won’t want to dispose of half a bottle of Mr. Bubble. Eventually, I’ll say I’m saving it for the grandchildren, but I’ll not really know if I’m to have my line continue or if I’ll live to see it.

I mentioned in 2021 that the toys were gone:

I know, gentle reader, I suffer more last times for everything than actually occur (for example, the bottle of Mr. Bubble mentioned in The Future Forgotten Bottle of Mr. Bubble actually got used up, another secured, and that one used up, so there is currently no half-empty bottle of Mr. Bubble to be forgotten, but the bath toys are long gone now).

Ah, but as I noted in 2024:

But in 2013, when writing about The Future Forgotten Half-Empty Bottle of Mr. Bubble, I mentioned their bath toys, and in 2021, I said the bath toys were long gone, but I must have meant that their playing with bath toys was long gone, as the bath toys are still in the bin under the sink in the hall bath.

No more.

In this, the year of our lord 2026, I have taken the bin out, discarded the sponges, and bleach-washed the toys for actual donation.

The impetus of this drastic action: I needed the bin. My oldest, a man now (albeit a young one), has a collection of grooming products with which he clutters the vanity in the hall bath. As part of my cleaning this weekend, I wanted to put those things in the bin and under the sink. So I finally dealt with the bath toys.

In 2024, I also mentioned old videos:

But as I am who I am, I accumulated a bunch of videocassettes and whatnot for my children. Actually, I bought a bunch before we even thought of having children when I was doing the Ebay thing around the turn of the century.

So I have a bit of a conundrum now: What to do with the portion of the Nogglestead video library (and book library) which is geared toward children? So I box them up and store them for eventual grandchildren? Try to sell them (who watches old videocassettes these days except me?).

Ah, you know, sometime in December, I culled the video library of a number of these titles. But I left them on the floor by the video shelves, obscured by the unused weight bench in our family room, and it was also only this weekend where I put them in a box and put them onto the table downstairs because I expected my beautiful wife might want to pick through them. Mr. Popper’s Penguins with Jim Carrey. Which I didn’t watch with the boys even when the youngest was in his penguins phase. I think I have the G.I.Joe complete cartoon series box set in it; I might have to pull that one out. But it will likely remain on the table for weeks if we don’t need the table for something else in the meantime.

But these two things do underline the slow pace of change at Nogglestead. Which is to say nothing changes, and that leads to some weird sense-of-time dilation in my own head for sure.

Perhaps part of my get away from the damned desk theme for the year should be to make some changes around Nogglestead. Maybe finally paint the shed red as I’ve hoped to for some time. Maybe clean the garage, which is an effort I started last year and got away from.

I’m actually writing a poem on this theme. Well, I started a poem on this theme. But I’ve set it aside as I have finished the first part of the two- or three-part poem and will pick it up again when I get a good feeling for the turn in it. Or, given my recent (as in, within the last sixteen years) history, maybe never.

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Book Report: Killing at Cottage Farm by James R. Wilder (2025)

Book coverFor the Part of a Series category in the 2026 Winter Reading Challenge, I decided to go with this book, part of the Harbison Mystery series which I picked up in November, signed, but not at the book signing. To keep you up-to-date, the Harbison mysteries include:

And now this book.

So: In it, Sheriff Chet Harbison investigates a murder at a resort. The deceased is a doxy formerly involved with a deputy but dismissed from her job at the county clerk’s office for conoodling on the job. Meanwhile, the widow and mistress, now (whispers) lesbians, of the presumed murdered sheriff who faked his own death and got away at the end of the last book–these two are trying to maintain appearances in Jefferson County whilst using their inheritances to open a bar in St. Louis now that Prohibition has been repealed. The investigations and machinations conmingle with some series business (will the deputy’s journalist girlfriend go to Europe to work for the big national syndicate? Will the sheriff pass his kidney stone?), and eventually they find the bad guys and resolve the situation.

I might have mentioned that I have considered reaching out to Mr. Wilder to offer to proofread his books for him for a galley copy and/or a free copy of the book and maybe an insertion of my fictional kin into the Harbinsonverse. I should probably make that offer, as this book was full of missing quotation marks (full of the lack somehow), problems with formatting, and even anachronisms (referring to The Thin Man movie in January 1934 when it was not released until May of that year)…. I started noting them in my phone as I didn’t have the little flags in Branson with me. I don’t know if Wilder rushed to get it out or his normal pre-readers were unavailable, but this book definitely needed some pre-press work that it did not receive.

So a little underwhelming, but I’ll keep picking up the Wilder series because I still like the little tidbits of local history from a region where I used to live.

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Christmas Stragglers: 2025 Edition

Ah, gentle reader. The annual tradition continues. After we hurriedly put away the Christmas decorations in early January, we find some decorations that have escaped notice and need to be put away later. Since I cleaned the whole house this weekend, I think I got a pretty good handle on what was left behind this year.

The sleighbells on the door.

This is almost an annual tradition, and I think that we had them on the door for most of the year once.

I have mentioned the story of before, so I won’t bore you with it again. In addition to the stiffness of the belt leather holding it these days, we don’t hear them jingle because people don’t tend to come through our front door. We open the door once every couple of weeks for packages, but the number of guests to Nogglestead these days is not very large. And those who come often come through the garage.

The Winter/Christmas Village Buildings.

To be honest, perhaps my beautiful wife, who collected the tchotchkes whilst I wrestled with unwrapping the well-wrapt lights on the upstairs Christmas tree, did not recognize that these winter scenes were now Christmas decorations. After all, it’s possible she has noticed them before Christmas individually–I buy a Christmas decoration before we have the Christmas decorations out to cheer myself and to see if anyone notices, and I bought the church in 2024 and the coffee shop 2025. So she might have thought they were just part of the décor.

By the way, has anyone noticed? Well, as part of our actual Christmas decorations, I found a new tchotchke on the mantel which I’d never seen and didn’t acquire. So I think my oldest has noticed and added one of his own.

A couple of boxes for decorations.

I pulled these empty boxes when undecorating the tree. One of the boxes is for a Chewbacca ornament which I don’t know that I have ever seen (not the Easter Chewbacca, which did not come with a box). The other is a little hearth candle holder which I’ve seen, but is one of the decorations which I’ve not been eager to put out because of young children (no longer young) and kittens (no longer kittens, but still kittenish chaos on twelve paws).

I guess at some point, we put the decorations out, and when it came time for the rapid deChristmasification, we put the decorations away but not in their boxes.

You know, gentle reader, I think this year we will have an audit of our Christmas decorations. We have so many that do not actually get put out for one reason or another (or horizontal surfaces are limited and cat-patrolled). So perhaps we should sort them, divest ourselves of some, and make sure to properly box the ones we will keep. Properly box until the next time we take the decorations down.

A little oil lamp.

This little piece of unknown inheritance was located on the bookshelves behind the television, and when my wife swept the lower level, she did not look closely to the bookshelves since most of them are double-stuffed with books.

At any rate, they are all put away now. And as part of the housecleaning, I played a game of “Christmas ornament or cat toy?” Ah, gentle reader, as you know, to a cat, they are one and the same, which explains why sometimes Christmas ornaments are found months later in an opposite corner of the room from the Christmas tree. But, dang it, don’t they sometimes look the same. A little bell and a tailing ribbon. Uh…. No place for a hook, cat toy? I think I’ve answered correctly in all cases so far.

So this should be the annual Christmas Straggler post. But, as always, no guarantees. Stay tuned for further updates (if any).

(Previous Christmas Stragglers covered in 2012, 2013, 2018, 2019, 2021, ,2022, and 2023.)

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Book Report: Honeymoon with My Brother by Franz Wisner (2006)

Book coverFor the first book for the 2026 Winter Reading Challenge, I picked up this book. I had thought that I bought it from the Quality Paperback Club around the turn of the century, but a blog post from 2007 indicates I bought it at a garage sale or a book sale in the waning months of that year. Presumably a used book store or a yard sale, as one of the pages has a stain on it and the bottom of the pages has a marker’s mark on it. Maybe I just thought about buying it from the Quality Paperback Club. Maybe not–I don’t remember how late into the century I might have dabbled in that particular mechanism for expanding one’s library rapidly.

So, the setup is this: Right before his wedding in 2000, the author’s fiancé calls it off. But he’s already paid for the honeymoon, a trip to Costa Rica, as well as the venue and reception. So he goes ahead with a party for the guests who were coming, apparently mostly his friends, and then he convinces his brother to come on the honeymoon with him–which gives him the idea, since he’s just been demoted or sideways assigned at work, to quit his job and spend a year traveling the world with his brother.

I mean, that’s the setup. He goes into flashback a bit about his relationship and his job and does a bit of self-reflection. He seems to come from money, and his job out of school was in the political realm, so about ten years into his career, he’s a highly paid and very connected Californian (Republican) lobbyist for the Irvine Corporation which is the major developer behind Irvine, California. He met his fiancé in Washington when he was working for a member of Congress and she was a graphic designer. From the flashbacks, it seems like he was always in the driver’s seat of the relationship, making plans for the both of them–moving them to Seattle and then California and then pushing. When she began having panic attacks, he proposed, and she separated from him for a while, but when they got back together, the wedding was on again until it was not. He reflects, eventually, that he really had a template for life and she was a part of it, but he doesn’t express remorse, really.

So: They go to Europe; his brother, a part-time but successful realtor with a number of rental properties, buys a Saab because they will let you pick it up at the factory and insure it for six months if you want to take it on a tour of Europe with it. So they do, staying with friends in Prague and Moscow and then driving through Turkey to Syria, gaining entry with a photo of the author with George W. Bush (he also has one with Gore just in case–the election had not yet taken place). Then! They take a tour of southeast Asia with stops in Indonesia, Cambodia, Vietnam, and other places. Followed by a tour of the southwest United States, briefly (not really depicted). Then a tour of South America, including Brazil, Venezuela, Peru (and Machu Picchu), and Trinidad. Then, wow, they’re famous, apparently, for the dispatches that the author has been sending to his ninety-seven-eight-nine-year-old step-(great?)-grandmother, who has been sharing them with the other residents of her nursing home–and they’ve appeared in the local papers and whatnot. So he gets a chance to go on a junket without his brother all paid for, and then he and his brother go to Africa, where they can go on safari and slag on white South Africans before wrapping up the book. The book interleaves interactions with the step-grandmother, and at the end, she dies and leaves he and his brother a bundle. He goes on to become a travel writer, and the back cover of this book says his brother and he are traveling for a new book.

I intended to, and I’m going to, count this book in the Vacation category because it’s somewhere between that and memoir–it’s not a travel book, for although it does talk about the places he goes, the places are a little in the background to him being in those places, reflecting on his life and the world in those places, and trying to reconnect with his younger brother in those places. I cannot say that I can really identify with the fellow–he’s traveling the world from a place of fiscal security and, to be honest, confidence that I presume is borne of being positioned for and enjoying success at a high level. I mean, I would not try to talk my way across a border in the Middle East. Maybe I’ve ended up like a dog that’s been beat too much–not sure what percentage of my life just covering up, but it’s probably measurable. But I digress.

At any rate, an interesting book, at any rate. A bit rushed in the ending–the Africa trip is given pretty short shrift–but I’m not likely to seek out the sequels.

And, oh, how the world has changed in 25 years.

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Missing Quotation Marks

Congress is debating the possible consequences for ICE and even Noem after Renee Good’s killing

Behold, the “Associated” “Press” characterizes “Congress” as:

“The situation that took place in Minnesota is a complete and total disgrace,” House Democratic leader Hakeem Jeffries of New York said as details emerged. “And in the next few days, we will be having conversations about a strong and forceful and appropriate response by House Democrats.”

* * * *

“The videos I’ve seen from Minneapolis yesterday are deeply disturbing,” said Sen. Lisa Murkowski, R-Alaska, in a statement.

* * * *

“We’ve been warning about this for an entire year,” said Rep. Maxwell Frost, D-Fla.

* * * *

Connecticut Sen. Chris Murphy, the top Democrat on the subcommittee that handles Homeland Security funding, plans to introduce legislation to rein in the agency with constraints on federal agents’ authority, including a requirement that the Border Patrol stick to the border and that DHS enforcement officers be unmasked.

* * * *

“More Democrats are saying today the thing that a number of us have been saying since April and May: Kristi Noem is dangerous. She should not be in office, and she should be impeached,” said Democratic Rep. Delia Ramirez, who represents parts of Chicago where ICE launched an enhanced immigration enforcement
action last year that resulted in two deaths.

* * * *

“I’m not completely against deportations, but the way they’re handling it is a real disgrace,” said Rep. Vicente Gonzalez, D-Texas, who represents a district along the U.S.-Mexico border [sic]

“Right now, you’re seeing humans treated like animals,” he said.

* * * *

To Rep. Chuy Garcia, D-Ill., Good’s death “brought back heart-wrenching memories of those two shootings in my district.”

“It looks like the fact that a US citizen, who is a white woman, may be opening the eyes of the American public, certainly of members of Congress, that what’s going on is out of control,” he said, “that this isn’t about apprehending or pursuing the most dangerous immigrants.”

So “Congress” in this context is a hella lotta Democrats plus Lisa Murkowski, a “Republican.”

Who are going to introduce legislation. And to impeach.

This is “debate.”

This is “Associated” “Press.”

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Branson In the Off Season

Ah, gentle reader, you are correct. It was quiet around here for a couple of days. You might have panicked, if you even visited Monday through Wednesday at all, thinking that I, like Wirecutter or Animal, had hung it up or drastically reduced the output. Oh, but no such luck for those relying on the Chinese Large Language Models training themselves up on the inanity that this site has provided over the last twenty-three (almost) years–if your legal brief prefixes with the clause “As the Philosopher says” while quoting a Richard Marx song, it’s as good as a watermark–I have not quit. But I did take a little trip down to Branson.

But, Brian J.! you exclaim. Didn’t you just take a trip to Florida? I did! That, as I mentioned, was a “marketing package” from a timeshare company which we’d booked early in 2024 and had to use by January 2026, so we had to use it.

This trip, though, was one of my beautiful wife’s “annual retreats” where she books a couple days in a resort in Branson in the off-season and uses the quiet (which means no boys to distract her) to work on self-improvement or focus on her Web sites, conference talks, or whatnot. As my contracts are currently in abeyance for the holidays (hopefully are in abeyance and not have ended), she invited me along. So I went.

We were booked in a one bedroom unit in (The) Falls Village just south of Branson’s main area. I put (The) in parentheses because the resort name appears both with and without the article throughout the property. It’s an older property, decently kept up (subject to change since another bigger, snazzier timeshare company has bought it and seems to be focusing its attention on the snazzier properties owned by the previous company). It has an indoor pool and hot tub, a small fitness center, and is walkable to some places (a cat cafe, a diner that serves live country music with its breakfasts).

However, we spent most of the time in the unit (as planned). For starters, one of her current engagements required a lot of her attention (four hours a day), so it was almost just working remotely from remoter in her case. Secondly, Branson is in the off-season: After the Christmas shows close right after the first of the year, the shows go into remission until sometime in March or April, when travelers (not the Roma sort) start making their journeys again and there’s tourist revenue to earn. Some of the indoor attractions are still open, maybe catering to the occasional field trips and safe from the weather, but we’ve been to the most interesting of them. And, finally, we were not eating out at the restaurants that did not also close because we are doing the Whole 30 diet yet (now on day 87, it seems, but just day nine).

So she worked, and I spent most of three days on the unit’s sofa, reading books (unlike the trip to Florida, where I read magazines to discard). So I got a good head start on the Winter Reading Challenge (although a Facebook memory from last year indicates I was through with six books by this time last year, whereas I am only through three and several fractions).

We did take two walks along Table Rock Lake in the state park on a couple of days, and I did hit the fitness center (what to do with only dumbells up to 50 pounds? Reverse pyramids, my boy, reverse pyramids.) in between, but mostly reading.

I did kind of feel bad because all I was doing was relaxing, and she had to work. She, on the other hand, worried I was not having fun because she was working. We reached an uneasy truce of sorts where we assured each other it was all right, but hoped it was so.

So, a couple notes about Branson in the off season:

  • The Walmart and the grocery were on lean mixtures. Without the tourists visiting, they had thinner stock than we expected, especially in meat. Normally, we go to the grocery for groceries and the Walmart for sundries, but the thin meat selection sent us to the Walmart (next door) for meat, and we discovered the Walmart is an old-style Walmart with a very thin grocery section. But we got provisions.
     
  • Without tourists, the locals were about the only people about. And the locals are about what you would expect from small towns in Missouri but leavened with some foreigners, perhaps guest workers idling until the season resumes or fortunate guest workers who have year-round employment at the hotels and resorts which are still open.
     
  • The resort was really quiet. The building we were in has at least 18 units (some are connectible units which are often booked together, but 18 individual rooms are available) on each floor and three floors. To my Ennglish major math, that’s 54 units total. The first night we were there, only three cars were parked by it (by the night before we left, it was up to six or seven cars, but still not very many people). Additionally, the room was very quiet. Nogglestead generally has some background noise–we’re running laundry all day, the dishwasher is going, the downstairs fridge and freezer run their compressors, and the upstairs refrigerator, which has long had a rattling compressor fan, has recently developed more of a rattle and runs very frequently, so the coils are likely dirty and/or frozen (ask me about it in a couple of days, when I will have fixed it or incapacitated our main refrigerator).

    Although we did some laundry, the laundry was in the vestibule between our unit and the “studio” unit which could connect to ours to make a two bedroom unit. We ran the dishwasher after every meal (prepared in-room), and the utility closet provided an intermittent rattle, but for the most part, the room was silent. We did not bring a bluetooth speaker, and the television did not offer its speakers via bluetooth and offered no music channels, so we could not play music. Just…. A lot of silence.
     

The weather was unseasonably warm–highs in the upper 60s and low 70s–so it did not feel like winter at all. It was very odd.

At any rate, it was a nice trip; definitely less stressful than flying (and having to get up at 3am to drive an hour to fly). A working washer and dryer (and no complaining offspring) made for a better trip than this summer (and I didn’t try to work on a hotspot, although it was probably better in Branson proper–my wife did it).

I was eager to come back home, though, and as I mentioned, this year’s theme is Get away from the damned desk. So far, so good.

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You Will Vote Until You Vote Correctly

Springfield city leaders aim get lodging tax increase back in front of voters this Spring:

The future of a new Springfield convention center is still being considered.

Last November, voters shot down a 3-percent hotel-motel tax increase. Now, the city is hoping to provide the information needed to present the issue again to voters on the April ballot.

Because it was not a yes, clearly the voters meant maybe.

I’m not going to go into my litany of reasons to oppose pretty much any tax money to fund convention center money sinkholes, but I have seen this over and over again.

Note that one of the “city leaders” quoted is the “city manager” which is a hired position, and not an elected position. So not only is he unaccountable to the voters directly, but Springfield might only be a stepping stone in his career. And bringing home a convention center despite opposition–boy, what a great bullet point on the ol’ resume.

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Brian J. Delivers the Ackshually PAIN!

Yesterday, Jeff at Coffee and Covid used the term chokehold and posted a helpful illustration:

Ah, gentle reader, that is not a chokehold. In a proper chokehold, the elbow is under the chin, and the front hand is on the bicep of the other arm (the second arm holds the back of the head to lock the chokee in place). The goal is not to crush the wind pipe but to squeeze the choking arm tight to the next of the chokee and to cut off the blood flow to the brain to put the chokee to sleep. Which is why it’s sometimes called the sleeper hold.

What, you think that he was just posting it to post a picture of attractive women? What! You think that’s why I’m posting this?

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