Authors I’ve Given Up On

OregonMuse elevates a question from the comments on the stately, prestigious, internationally acclaimed and high-class Sunday Morning Book Thread at Ace of Spades HQ:

28 Mr. Muse: Have you ever been a fan of an author, then one day realize you are completely done with him/her? The first time this happened to me was Ludlum’s “Parsifal Mosaic”. The last 30 pages rendered the preceding 600 pages irrelevant. With Tom Clancy it was “Sum of All Fears”. After 150 pages the plot hadn’t yet started, but we got a lot of detail about Jack Ryan choosing his favorite wines. Boy did that need an editor. More recently I quit Harlan Coben when I got tired of reading the same story over and over. Also, once you realize he has zero wasted characters, you come to realize that the bait shop attendant (or who ever) briefly mentioned in passing will be a major character.

Posted by: Buck Throckmorton at December 22, 2019 09:21 AM (d9Cw3)

OM, who by the way is the Salesman of the Year whenever he mentions on of my books on the book thread, throws out Heinlein, almost. Commenters on the original thread mention Robert Ludlum, Tom Clancy, and Stephen King.

Although I have been known to abandon books (four in this decade alone), I don’t know that I have abandoned that many authors.

I mean, I can think of John Sandford, whom I last read in 2012 with the cri de coeur:

This book will probably be the last of the Sandford novels I read for a while. I’m tired of them. To recap, the progression kind of followed that of Robert B. Parker’s later work: I bought them new until I couldn’t take the thematic material stretching between the books, then I got them from the library not too long after their release, and then I got to getting them from the library sometime, maybe.

I might have done the same to Parker himself if he’d lived a couple more years. He was injecting politics more into his books as the twenty-first century wore on. He rather killed his characters’ ethos in Stranger in Paradise. Although I read several other books by him after that book, he really was on borrowed interest.

OregonMuse says he gives up on series, and when we’re talking about Parker, I might as well point out that I’m not even sure if there are further entries in Parker’s Spenserverse or Westerns that I’ve missed. I haven’t looked for them, I haven’t seen them in the book stores or on the tables at book sales. So I guess I have given up on them.

As to Clancy and King, I haven’t given up on them, per se. I still pick up their books from time to time and/or have a collection of them on the shelf, but I’m not in a hurry to read them. I haven’t even given up on The Dark Tower series even though I read The Drawing of the Three and thought it completely botched and subverted the first book (at least, I think that’s what I thought–it was twenty-five years ago).

I’ve also said that I’m putting Lee Child into a time out. Will that turn into a permanent giving up of? Perhaps. I guess time will tell.

Perhaps a better question is What writers can you read over and over again? which might be topic for a later post.

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Book Report: In Focus by Jim Rathert (2004)

Book coverI thought I might browse this book of photography during football games, but it’s more than a book of photography. Although it does have a lot of great photos of native animals and landscape around Missouri, it also offers photography tips and discusses various habitats and geographical types we have in Missouri, from the different types of forests (and what constitutes an actual forest as opposed to a woodland).

So I enjoyed it. Every once in a while, I think about getting into photography, but books like this might daunt me as I learn how much effort a professional photographer puts into it.

Although he did admit that for some wildlife, he puts them into an enclosure designed to look like their habitat and then gets pictures of them doing their thing there instead of out in the wild. Which probably makes sense when you’re on a deadline. And it tells me if I want to become a nature photographer, I should start at the zoo.

At any rate, I enjoyed this book more than a simple book of photography. Like The World of the Polar Bear, it informed me about the process as well. Which is more interesting sometimes than the mere photos.

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The Folder of Broken Dreams

Okay, perhaps the title oversells it, but on my computers for the last, what, twenty-five years, I’ve carried along and copied over the novels I have started but have not yet finished.

I went looking for a novel I’ve been conceptualizing, doodling on legal pads, and, I thought, plinking on keys in a word processor for a couple of years now, off and on.

It wasn’t in my novels folder.

Instead, as I mentioned, a collection of mostly incomplete stunted attempts at novel writing, including:

  • Canny, Awake!, a science fiction novel based on my poem “Canny” which appeared in There Will Be War Volume X. File date 11/2/2015. One sentence long, but without the period at the end.
  • Down At Joe Jack’s, my post-collegiate “What am I going to do now?” novel. File date 8/24/2003. 7962 words.
  • The Flight of Ban Laoklan, a fantasy novel I started in college. File date 6/17/2001. 427 words. It has stray formatting marks in the title, probably because the file originated in LotusWorks on a 286. How old of a computer is that? We don’t even know what chips we have in our computers today.
  • The Gospel of John Methodis, a kind of From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler for adults. In the middle to late 1990s, I volunteered with a local theatre company, acting as their house manager, stage manager, or concession manager for various productions, and the performances often took place in an old Methodist church in a neighborhood where we had to lock the doors after the curtain went up. This novel was set in that church which has since been razed for upscale housing. File date 2/6/2007. 290 words.
  • Hellsgate Real Estate is more of an idea than a started novel; the only file in the folder is notes.docx. File date 7/12/2016.
  • John Donnelly’s Gold, the only published novel in the bunch (available on Amazon and other places).
  • Kinslayer, a fantasy novel. Features chapters with titles as does John Donnelly’s Gold, a device that helps me a bit in outlining the story. File date 6/7/2001. 5680 words.
  • Madame President, a sequel to Marquette Minus One below. Started in college, natch. File date 6/7/2001. 5307 words.
  • Marquette Minus One, a crime fiction novel I wrote in college, completing it circa 1993. This is the book I mentioned in the review for Killing Floor featuring the large ex-military protagonist. Haven’t considered self-publishing it because it’s not that good. File date 6/7/2001. 53190 words.
  • The Search for the Silverblade, a fantasy novel that, quite honestly, I don’t remember even though I banged out 6517 words on it. It starts with a long legend-like poem. File date 6/7/2001.
  • Second Coming, a fantasy novel. Features a prelude that is almost a stand-alone short story. My beautiful wife has read the draft, and she still wants to know what happens next years later. Folder includes a spreadsheet that tracks my progress and includes a list of scenes upcoming. Last file date 11/23/2003. 13873 words.
  • Unsecured, a thriller novel featuring a blogger protagonist. The novel I would have been working on before John Donnelly’s Gold. Folder also features a spreadsheet to track status. File date 6/25/2005. 2465 words.

The date of April last year represents when I copied the directory over to my new PC. 6/7/2001 probably represents a similar move across PCs.

But I could not find The Saviors from Mars Deep, the tentatively titled latest attempt at a novel. As I was working on this post, it occurs to me it might be in the temporary writing folder on my (old) laptop. I hope so. If not, I wasn’t that far into it, so I won’t have lost much.

As I look over the history listed above, it looks as though I got thousands of words into projects before abandoning them because I got bored with them or something else came up, and I abandon novel projects with fewer words invested in them. Either I’m becoming more efficient, or I’ve become more busy. Or lazy.

So will I get to finishing these? Perhaps Second Coming since I have at least an audience of one hoping for it.

And perhaps I will find the existing tappings at The Saviors from Mars Deep and get a couple thousand words into it before abandoning it or several tens of thousands of words before publishing it.

Time will tell.

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Book Report: Die Trying by Lee Child (1998)

Book coverAfter I finished Killing Floor, I went to Barnes and Noble and plunked down a couple of bucks for the next book in the series. Actually, I almost plunked down a couple of bucks–wait, they’re actually ten bucks for paperbacks now?–for Make Me because the end of The Killing Floor says “Jack Reacher returns in Make Me“, but apparently that was a new book when this paperback edition was published and it was not listing the next in the series.

So, yeah.

Well, I clearly did not like the book as much as I “liked” the first one. I mean, it starts out with Jack Reacher accidentally stumbling (literally) into an attempted kidnapping, and he thinks he can take the kidnappers but that innocent people might get caught in the cross-fire. I am pretty sure even I by 1998 had attended a self-defense seminar that said give an attacker your money, but never get in the car. So this would have been a much shorter Brian J. Noggle-as-hero book because I would have been killed by the gunmen in chapter one. But hyper-competent Jack Reacher should have ended it early, but we would not have had a whole 552 page novel to go through to get to the end.

So the actual kidnapping victim is the FBI agent daughter of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and the kidnappers are a right wing militia (ripped from recent events in 1998, but still a trope twenty years later) who are declaring their own nation in Montana and are using her as a hostage to keep the military from attacking. Or something.

You know, the plot doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, and the pacing is awful. Child has discovered the jump cut third person narration, where we get to see lots of extraneous things going on from different perspectives, and in most cases, they really don’t increase the tension. We get the same events sometimes from three different characters’ perspectives, and then the resolution is simple and underwhelming. And Jack Reacher vacillates between the hyper-competent and pretty passive as events overtake him.

You know, I flagged a lot of things as silly. Like:

“We’re in some sort of a barn,” Reacher said. “With the doors closed.
Holly nodded impatiently.
“I know that,” she said. “I can smell it.”

A dairy barn, I guess, since the beef cattle around here don’t have cow barns.

The guy with the shotgun tore his attenion away from Holly’s breasts. He raised the weapon to his hip. Pointed it in Reacher’s direction. It was an Ithaca 37. Twelve-bore.

We’re in America, Jack. Talk American. Twelve gauge.

He [Jack Reacher] walked fast for twenty minutes. More than a mile.

I should hope more than a mile. The average walking speed of a human is three to four miles an hour. I should hope that Jack Reacher’s walking fast would be better than average. (Although he is carrying a dead body at this point, but still.)

“I don’t have many facilities available,” he [the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff] said in turn. “It’s the holiday weekend. Exactly seventy-five percent of the U.S. Army is on leave.”

Oh, come on.

The parade ground was full of people. All standing in neat ranks. Reacher guessed that there were maybe a hundred people there. Men and women. All in uniform. All armed. Their weapons formed a formidible array of firepower. Each person had either a fully automatic rifle or a machine gun sling over their left shoulder.

A fully automatic rifle or a machine gun! Do tell. Even if we’re going to argue about whether some had M2s over their shoulders, we’re already outside the story, ainna? Trying to make the text somehow conform to our experience and think maybe the author was winging it a bit?

He kept close to the road, all the way back to Yorke. Two miles, twenty minutes at a slow, agonizing jog throuh the trees.

Friends, six miles an hour is a comfortable run for me. Not a slow, agonizing jog. Of course, I’m not in the peak of human conditioning, and I know the military expects more of its recruits, but it’s not how I would characterize six miles an hour.

Where the earth had fractured and fallen, the edges had broken up into giant boulders. The scouring of the glaciers had tumbled those boulders south….

Blah blah. Here, have a page or so history of the ice age that created the topography of this particular obstacle. My old fiction professor would talk about nice little moments in short stories, but too many of these nice little moments, and I hearken back to another professor of philosophy who admitted one day that all the amusing stories he told in class were simply because he had to fill the time and couldn’t let us go too early or it would reflect bad upon him (and this was the 3:30 to 5:00 class that finished up my semester of two days of classes, 8:00 to 5:00, so I could work instead on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, so I was pretty tired of classes by then and didn’t want to listen any more to stories just padding time).

The nearest sentry was still on his feet. Not heading for the shed. Just standing and staring toward the rock Reacher was behind. Raising his rifle. It was an M-16, same as Reacher’s. Long magazine, thirty shells. The guy was standing there, sighting it in on the rock. A brave man, or an idiot. Reacher crouched and waited. The guy fired. His weapon was set on automatic. He loosed off a burst of three.

Sweet Christmas, even I know that the common pew! selector on an M-16 was single, burst of three, and fully automatic. So in saying that the guy had it set to automatic and only fired a burst of three “shells,” well.

Never mind. I flagged a lot in this book and shook my head at a lot of nice little moments that were not so little and a plot that, well, why did they do what they did? Because, BOOK!

If this were an Executioner novel, it would not have been a particularly good one. And it would have been 300 pages shorter. So I’ll stick with them and perhaps Rogue Warrior titles when I fancy something longer.

So maybe I’ll pick up more Lee Child books at book sales for a dollar, but likely not for a while.

I am interested in seeing the other Tom Cruise Jack Reacher movie, though.

And if you ask me, I would say I prefer the metal band.

But I would. I actually do own that album. I picked it up at a garage sale sometime.

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An Annual Inventory Story (And Good Book Hunting, January 4, 2019: ABC Books)

So when I worked as the shipping and receiving clerk at the art supply store with the rhyming name (you can try to guess it, but those in the know recognize that all the St. Louis area art supply stores had rhyming names)….

All right, I’ll tell you the name of the store since you could find it in my blog archives. It wasn’t Dick Blick or Red Lead; it was Artmart, which is still in the same location.

So where was I? Oh, yes. The bulk of my job, in addition to the all other duties as assigned which often included custodial/janitorial things, facilitating product returns (when I started the job, they had a store room just about stacked to the ceiling with returned and defective items awaiting return to the manufacturer or distributor, and nobody liked to do it since you had to find a purchase order with that product on it, contact the manufacturer, get a return authorization, and then box up the item or items to return, and nobody had time for that, so they just tossed it into the room–I kid you not, it was floor to ceiling with products just tossed in, and I cleared it out within a month or so), light maintenance/electrical repair, and computer technical help, the bulk of my job was receiving shipments, counting the received items and comparing them to the packing lists, and shelving the items in the warehouse for later stocking (“Why so many?”). So I spent most of eight hours every day for months counting pens, counting pads of paper, counting sheets of paper.

It came time for the annual inventory. The store closed up early, and everyone who worked there paired with another, and we started counting all the things on the sales floor. Every charcoal pencil. Every sheet of paper. Every Pantone color selector book (which costs hundreds of dollars for what is essentially a bunch of paint chip selectors like you get at the hardware store, except Official). I got paired with one of the retail floor guys, relatively new. One partner per team would write down the name of the product; the second partner would count said product; and the first partner would write down the number. It worked pretty efficiently for most teams, but I could count items accurately just by looking at them, so I was impeded by the speed at which my partner could write.

I mean, to count pens or pencils, which were mostly housed in square boxes (and came that way in the shipments), you basically tip the box so a corner is pointing down and shake the box until the pens/pencils fall into a pattern. The shape of the pattern indicates the number in the box.

Take, for example, the stars on the flag, right? The pattern is that the bottom row has six; the second to bottom row is five. Five rows have six, and four rows have five. Thirty plus twenty equals fifty. And, gentle reader, I could match the various patterns pretty much from memory. I was like, “Koh-i-noor 31652, 18. Faber-Castell 110251, 15. Koh-i-noor 5055, 3.” And so on. I must have looked like Rain Man to this kid.

I take pride in a lot of things I did on that job, including my ability to not so much count fast as to recognize the pattern of counts.

At any rate, I related this story to the store manager at ABC Books on Saturday when I stopped by, and he laughed politely as he does to every story I tell and joke I make. I’d wandered up to see if they had a book signing this weekend as their calendar on Facebook is not accurately updated since the social media guru left. They did not have a book signing, and they were finishing up their annual inventory (the store manager explained to someone who wanted to trade books).

I tried to help:

I have been hitting the poetry and drama sections more of late. I got:

  • Our Town by Thornton Wilder.
  • Doctor Faustus by Christopher Marlowe.
  • Under Milk Wood by Dylan Thomas.
  • The Heart in Hiding by Jane Daley Kraus, a comb-bound collection of poetry by a Long Island housewife.

It didn’t really help the counters at ABC Books who had already counted these sections.

Also, I had found an ABC Books gift card amongst my customer rewards and gift card collection. I was not sure whether I had gotten this as a gift or if I had forgotten to put a gift card in with a teacher’s Christmas card. More likely, one of the boys found himself at ABC Books without his gift card and gave it to me in exchange for the equivalent value in books which happens frequently when they have gift cards but are not carrying them.

So the above books and a book for each of my boys came to almost $25 dollars. And the gift card was for….

24 cents.

The store manager asked me if I wanted to use it. The alternative, of course, would be to put it back in the collection of rewards cards, to find it the next time I took a moment to toss out rewards cards from defunct restaurants, and to think again I had a whole gift card to use. So, yeah, I spent the twenty-four cents.

I look forward to reading these short books to start padding my annual total early. When I find them again in my stacks. Some year in the future.

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Where In The Style Guide Is It Written

That marijuana should be referred to in newspapers and news stories as ‘weed’?

These states now have legal weed and what states could follow in 2020
(OzarksFirst, which is KOZL, KOLR-10, and KRBK in Springfield)

Long lines in Collinsville greet first day of recreational weed sales in Illinois
(St. Louis Post-Dispatch)

Wisconsin will soon become an island surrounded by legal weed
(Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel)

Nearly $3.2 million in legal weed was sold in Illinois on the first day of sales, marking one of the strongest showings in the history of marijuana legalization
(Chicago Tribune)


Springfield News-Leader

I noticed this with the breathless (I think we know why the journalists were holding their breath) coverage of the whole sorta legalization thing in the Springfield News-Leader, but I’m hard-pressed to think of another thing referred to consistently in slang terms in the news media.

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To Be Fair, The PSA Was Not Addressed To Clevelanders

The score on my New Year’s Eve PSA for St. Louis has increased to five dead in shootings, but in Cleveland, someone festively firing rounds killed his girlfriend:

Illegal celebratory gunfire turned deadly just after midnight on New Year’s Day, according to Cleveland Police.

Detectives are investigating the death of a 31-year-old woman who was shot.

Officers responded just after midnight on New Year’s Day and found the woman with a gunshot wound. She later died at MetroHealth Hospital.

While investigating, police learned the victim’s 38-year-old boyfriend was “popping off” rounds to celebrate the start of 2020. At some point, the woman was shot.

Uh huh. That sounds exactly like what happened.

Also, apparently, Cleveland saw 11 shootings between 6pm New Year’s Eve and 3am Christmas day, a total greater than St. Louis (whose fifth shooting was apparently later on New Year’s Day, but added to the total to make the story More Deadly).

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As In Years Past, They Liked The Christmas Boxes More

I saw these babies on a display at Walmart, and I had to have them.

I wrapped a model in the Pet Butler box for the older son and a Lego set in the My First Fire box for my younger.

Everyone thought they were gag gifts at the outset, but they quickly learned they were humorous. Although my youngest might have been disappointed, as he is the one who always volunteers to help me build a fire in the fireplace and who is often disappointed when I use a Duraflame log. I am not too concerned about it… yet.

So even though my Christmas present purchases were a little disappointing (to me at least) this year, at least the boxes amused my family.

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Somebody Wasn’t Listening

On Facebook, I posted this:

Because back before the turn of the century, the end of the year airwaves really were full of PSAs warning people not to go outside and fire their guns into the air at midnight. In spite of this, we would hear gunfire when we were in town. Okay, we were in town on New Years Eve exactly once when we spent the night at my aunt’s house and my mother and aunt went out and my brother and I stayed in and watched New Year’s Rocking Eve.

However, nobody shared my Facebook post, which resulted in:

4 homicides in first 3 hours of 2020 in St. Louis:

St. Louis police say four people were shot to death in the early hours of the first day of 2020, including three killed at one location.

UPDATE: Since I posted this article, the headline and story have changed to up the score from four to five.

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