Musings from Brian J. Noggle

You know, I suppose I could have read this book last year, when I was on a bit of a Hiaasen-clearing mood (when I read The Downhill Lie, Bad Monkey, and Razor Girl in October and November), but I did not. This book has been on my shelves since 2018, but I’ve not been inclined to pick it up until now. Probably because of the list of authors all working on one novel.

And it was a good judgment call on my part, actually. You know, when I was a sophomore in high school, one of the exercises, the class wrote a story in the round. We were divided into groups based on our columns of desks, and we each started a story and then passed it off to the next column to add to it. We made up a character and inserted him into every story (I know, I know: I just mentioned this story 21 years ago, but that’s back when the blog was on Blogspot, so I can understand if you don’t remember it–and I did mention it more recently in the book report for Samurai Cat Goes To The Movies in 2023).

This book is similar–and apparently it originally appeared as a serial in Miami Herald Tropic. So each of them, it looks like, picked up the thread or from the cliffhanger of the previous writer left off. And we whipsaw a bit between stylistic changes and even some plotish and characterization elements. One of the authors kills off a sympathetic character in the middle. Another makes the title manatee, nicknamed Booger, almost sentient in sentiment only to have Hiaasen de-retcon that when he wrapped it up.

So, the plot, as it starts: The manatee, naked, gets tangled in some cargo being smuggled in a special metal container after a boat collision sends it into the bay. An elderly defender of nature whom the manatee knows helps untangle him from the netting into which the contraband was caught discovers It’s Castro’s frozen head! (remember, The Day After Tomorrow was a best seller the year before). Except another cannister turns up with another Castro head in it. And Castro wants to come to the United States to visit an old paramour from the days of the revolution. Or he’s already here receiving advanced cancer treatment. Given that they’re just riffing off of previous chapters and putting their own spins on it, the authors kind of do what they want, and Hiaasen writes the final chapter to try to make sense of it all, but….

What I read was more of a concept than a novel, and it doesn’t hold together very well. I’m not even sure who most of the characters are–they have names, and relationships established in various chapters, but they differ just enough chapter-to-chapter that I didn’t really remember who was who or what they wanted to do. And I’m not really sure I could tell you the actual resolution except that the manatee, human-intelligent in one chapter but not at the end, never does get clothing and remains naked at the end.

I can’t actually tell you when I bought this book from ABC Books, as it does not show up in a Good Book Hunting post via a quick search, but it would have been shelved right above the martial arts section when they had one (the last time I was in, they did not have a martial arts section, which was empty most of the time anyway). They must have thought a lot about this book, as it is wrapped in a mylar cover, but one of the things I noticed about it very early was the poor paper quality. It’s yellowed and its luminosity has dimmed–I would have thought I was reading a 1960s paperback instead of a hardback that’s under 20 years old.

At any rate, it tells the story of a man who attended and played football for a remote Texas state university in the late 1960s who left college after his junior year. Well, left is a euphemism. He was thrown out because he was a brawler, raised by a brawler to fight from a young age. The book starts out describing how he got back together for a reunion with some of his team mates from the old team when they were all older, and he wondered if he could still play. He had a year of eligibility left, so he went out to Aspen, Texas, to find out if they were open to letting him try out for the team, and they were. So he comes down, enrolls in grad school, and….

The book shifts to a bit of an autobiography, talking about how he was raised by a hard father, how he got into a lot of fights in his youth, including the one with a team mate that got him thrown out of school, and then about how he got started as a weight and strength training coach for different universities culminating in a position at Texas A&M and how he fought and bested an NFL player who was ignoring him when he was trying to close the weight room down for the night. He talks about finding Jesus, he talks a little about getting involved with a friend’s pyramid scheme in collecting money to invest in selling American clothes overseas but eventually after they’re both indicted, his charges are dismissed. Then…. there’s a gap of about 20 years, and then we’re back in the present.

He tries out and makes the team as a special teams player, and he spends much of the season hurt with a groin pull (not fun; I had one almost a decade ago, and it took me eight or ten weeks to return to semi-normal activity and maybe a couple of years before it stopped hurting sometimes), herniated disks, and other things. He gets hurt in practice, and cannot actually play, although the media comes to town to do stories on him and the crowds chant for him to go in, and eventually, at the end, the he gets to play in the last game of the season and makes a couple of blocks.

And then, in the last chapter (“Afterword: Is There A Fountain of Youth?”), he talks about the missing 20 years: He apparently came up with a simple apparatus for exercising which he sold via infomercials and then to the government in wholesale lots and made big bank on it. The last chapter is almost a pitch for the device. And, to be honest, it brings the whole thing into question. Was the whole thing a publicity stunt to sell the devices (and a book and, eventually, a movie in 2023)? Did he really earn a roster spot or was he merely a wealthy alum humored by the university? The coach seems ambivalent to say the least, and the authors claim his distraction was because his family had moved to Wisconsin and he was stuck in Texas, but is that really it?

So I was looking for inspiration in being athletic even when one is getting up there–I mean, I’m still lumbering through triathlons and doing martial arts even as various aches and pains arise with no seeming reason nor triggering event, so I could use that sort of thing. But this was not it. Also, my experience of the book is probably colored by the fact that I attended a manufacturer’s conference a week ago where “Rudy” Ruettiger whose story was the basis of the movie Rudy about an undersized player who attends the university later than other students (only a couple years in Rudy’s story), walks on to the football team, and gets to play at the end (and was later indicted for financial shenanigans). But at least Rudy got a sack.

So not to slag on the guy, who is 77 now and can probably still kick my can, but not inspirational to me.

This is one of John D. MacDonald’s science fantasy books–The Ballroom of the Skies being the other, which I just read almost 20 years ago. I just picked this book up ten years ago, and I’ve been kind of pacing myself on new (to me) MacDonald books because one day I will run out. Although there are so many, and I’ve paced them out so, that I can probably re-read them.

So: On Earth, a brilliant scientist is working on a discredited project for interstellar travel that the military wants to kill. A technician, in a moment of “madness,” damages the project, but Bard, the project leader, wants him back. The team is monitored by a psychologist for signs of this madness, this loss of control. Meanwhile, a dissipated and dying race on another planet has forgotten its history and only lives to play and to “dream” in special machines that show them worlds that they think don’t exist where they can play violent and destructive games. An outcast of this race who has gone to forbidden levels of the world, a large building on a desolate planet, to learn, and he wonders if the worlds and the people are real–and he hopes to establish contact with the scientist and to help him to reach their planet–or to take one of the remaining rockets on his planet to visit Earth.

So it’s very close thematically to Ballroom of the Skies in that psi-aliens are responsible for the burgeoning violence on the planet. In both cases, Fawcett reprinted some of MacDonald’s earliest works given his later success, particularly with the Travis McGee series. It’s early in his career–and with a bit more imagination, perhaps he would have become a successful science fiction writer rather than crime fiction. But this book is a little uneven–it tackles bureaucracy well, but it flags in the middle and limps to a happy ending. Maybe that’s characteristic of MacDonald’s early work, the interesting setup, a tailed-off middle, and an abrupt end–I seem to remember thinking that about some of his other early paperback originals–the checklist in the book report for John D. MacDonald: A Checklist of Collectible Editions & Translations links to my book reports on some of his work from the 1950s, and it does seem to be the case that he’s still finding his footing and his formula that will be successful in the 1960s and beyond.

So definitely a book for a MacDonald fan. But for a general science fiction fan: you could probably do better. And worse, as the book reports on this blog indicate: paperback original science fiction from the mid-century period was a mixed bag.

So I got this book in a roundabout fashion: As part of the stocking stuffers for Christmas 2023, I bought the family Barnes and Noble gift cards, which I failed to stuff in their stockings in 2023 (they were full enough anyway), so I put them in the stockings for Christmas 2024 (where the stockings were less stuffed, so the deferred giving worked out better than it might have). My beautiful wife knew that this book was coming out this year (although the copyright date is 2024, it was not in book stores until February 2025). She read it right away–ah, gentle reader, I remember a time when I would buy a book by an author the day it came out and read it that night, but we are too far in the 21st century for me to do that much any more. After she read it, she put it into my office, and I put it in my unread stacks until after the 2025 Winter Reading Challenge. And, amazingly, I found it again shortly thereafter, so I picked it up.

This is an Elvis Cole / Joe Pike novel–it seems that Crais has abandoned writing other non-series books–and it’s definitely a throwback to late 20th century suspense writing. The style balances paragraphs of decription with dialog, which means good pacing with actual description in it and not just a script in a hardback. It’s almost 400 pages, but it doesn’t feel like it.

So, the plot: A young woman famous and rich from her online baking videos and growing media and baking empire contacts Elvis Cole to look for her father who disappeared ten years ago. He was declared dead after five years missing and a search by an investigation firm that Cole knows and respects. So he starts his investigation and discovers that someone in Rancha, the last place the father was seen, doesn’t want him investigating. Which leads to a brutal beatdown of Cole by multiple attackers (when he doesn’t give up) which allows multiple characters to say, “It looks like you got your ass kicked,” which was probably funnier to the author when he was writing the book than to me reading it.

The plot is a little convoluted–well, no more so than a Raymond Chandler book–and I don’t know that it hangs together seamlessly or without wrinkles–I thought a particular twist was coming which did not, and it ended up a little disappointing, but the execution and writing was refreshing enough that I’ll probably get the next Crais book for my wife right when it comes out, should another be forthcoming (it’s taking him several years to crank them out these days, so one of these will be the last, but hopefully not soon).

Which leads me to think maybe I should read all the Cole and then Cole/Pike books again. I’ve read Robert B. Parker’s early works several times, including some binge reads where I tore through all the works to a certain point in rapid succession, but that’s been twenty or twenty-five years–and I’m not especially inclined to do it again with the Spenser novels as they got longer and more hardback scripts having gained length but losing depth somewhere around that time. But Crais? I suspect I’d find they are pretty much quality throughout. But I have so many other books to read that I’m not eager to run through them again unless they accidentally end up on my to-read shelves again.

So: Recommended.

And I would be remiss if I did not mention that I own two copies of what might be Crais’s first published work–which is not The Monkey’s Raincoat. Which was expensive in paperback when we tried to find it twenty years ago.

This book is undated and looks to be self-published, probably something for the gift shop in Smirnoff’s theater in Branson. I could date it pretty closely by its topic matter: Several Enron jokes, but no mention of the September 11 attacks. I went to the Amazon listing for the book, and it says 2000, which is what I would have guessed. Closer to when I met him in 2012 than that meeting is to today, gentle reader, and meaning it’s been fifteen and a half years since I read America on Six Rubles a Day, and only eight months since I bought this signed copy in Clever last year. I just sort of presumed I had a lot of Yakov Smirnoff books on my shelves, but I guess there are not that many titles available. I just see a lot of them because they’re pretty common in these parts.

At any rate, it’s a collection of short topical bits about, well, life and living in this country and whatnot. Fairly basic humor stuff. A little biography worked in here and there, some of his story of coming to America and coming to Branson. A little about the philosophy that would lead him to becoming Doctor Smirnoff later and his philosophy of happiness and love.

So I guess I could have picked this book up for the Feels Good category of the 2025 Winter Reading Challenge, but I did not. But it was close to Hope Always Wins, so I picked it up shortly thereafter.

And I guess my shelves are not rife with Smirnoff, which is a shame. I’m old enough to remember his 80s schtick which gives him a head start in appreciation. I should really get down to one of his shows again before he does retire for good this time.

So for my first book after the 2025 Winter Reading Challenge (and finishing the volume of Dickens, I picked up another of the books about lofts which I bought last year in Sparta (home of the Trojans). This is the second of the three I bought that day that I’ve flipped through (Small Lofts being the first).

It’s basically the same thing. New York and European lofts mostly done in white and minimalist style (I guess it’s right there in the title). Each “loft” section has photos, a couple paragraphs, and a floorplan (which is tiny–I put my beautiful wife’s hot librarian reading glasses on to look at them sometimes). But they’re really all of a piece, and I was very excited when I got a splash of wood on the walls or on the floor just for the cover of it. Many of them looked like hotel rooms, and not the nice ones–more like the dorm ones like the recent “concept” hotels. The lofts in this book were larger than in Small Lofts (which has “small” right in the title, so what did I expect?). Although I got the sense some were but pied-à-terre (hence the hotel look), some were actual residences–1990s television critic Joel Siegel’s loft is in here, so I assume it was his home in New York, but he probably had a country home elsewhere, too. They’re not short-term rentals–the book precedes AirBnB and the lot–but they’re pretty sterile looking. On the other hand, although most of them are described as diaphanous, not many of them have spaces described as liminal.

I’ve mentioned that this is definitely not my style. Perhaps the third of the books, Loft Style will match my preferred aesthetic.

At any rate, I’m looking at the book, written around the turn of the century, and I’m wondering what the owners of these fine downtownish domiciles would think about how their cities have evolved over the intervening two decades. You know, if you’re living in a loft downtown, you’re probably okay with how things have turned out or have been turning out. Maybe I would have been, too.

This volume includes two books I counted toward the 2025 Winter Reading Challenge—A Tale of Two Cities for the Set Somewhere You’d Like To Visit (a two-fer in two places, London and Paris, and a two-fer in it’s also a Classic or a Retelling) and A Christmas Carol which fit into the Classic or a Retelling (and, I guess, a two-fer since it’s set in London). I didn’t get to finish the book until after completing “The Chimes” after I completed the Winter Reading Challenge. So it counted as two books for the Winter Reading Challenge, but only one book in my annual tally. The rules are the rules, no matter how arbitrary.

Because I might go on a bit at length here, I’m going to tuck this book report under the fold.

Continue reading “Book Report: A Tale of Two Cities / A Christmas Carol / The Chimes by Charles Dickens” →

The 2025 Winter Reading Challenge had a category Feels Good, and like the Blends Two Genres, I was a little uncertain what to pick for it. A feel-good fiction story? I’ve already finished my collection of Executioner men’s adventure paperbacks. Maybe a self-help book? Perhaps this book, which I recently rediscovered in the stacks, whose author overcame a divorce after a long marriage and a bout with cancer? Should fit the bill, ainna? Let’s hope so.

And I know, gentle reader, you’re asking, “So you’re buying books just based on PWoC (pretty woman on cover) now, Brian J.?” The answer is no. Although I do have similar accumulation strategies for books and records (buy them at book sales, cheap), I don’t tend to select books that way. I bought this book because the author was signing them at ABC Books back in the day when I could afford to try to make all of the book signings up there. As such, I can say the author is pretty and vivacious, although as she is a radio personality and former school teacher, so she’s probably pretty used to being put together and in a public persona.

At any rate, this book is not really an autobiography, although it has some autobiographical elements as illustrations, but they’re not linear. It is, however, a self-help book about training yourself to be more hopeful through scriptural and Christian practice (both prayer and attending church/serving others). It is broken into fifteen “days” as a mechanism of highlighting practices to put into place, but in actual practice, you’ll probably work on one particular area for a while and then go onto another.

The “days”–foci, if you will, include things like “30 Minutes”, time dedicated to prayer each day, akin to meditation in other faith practices; “Write Your Own Story”, which is consciously focusing on the positive not only today, but in your past, which is akin to some things I’ve read recently about how remembering things rewires your brain and alters your memories; “Elimination”, which is about de-cluttering so you have time to focus on important things (and prayer); and so on. So there are a lot of practical practices as well which form as steps toward a more hopeful and prayerful life.

So: More Christian and scriptural than your Norman Vincent Peale or your Lloyd Douglas. More dense in the scripture and more heartfelt than Joyce Meyer that I’ve recently read. And it covers more ground than any of them in both practical and spiritual life.

So it reinforced some of the efforts I’ve been trying to make in my life (not decluttering, clearly), so I enjoyed the book. I am thinking about getting a copy for my beautiful wife, but not my mother-in-law (she’s already getting two of the books from the Winter Reading Challenge, but let’s not go overboard).