Ailing Retail Development Holds No Lessons

In St. Ann, a municipality in northwest St. Louis County, its sales tax mainstay is not providing the tax revenue it used to:

When Northwest Plaza gets a cold, St. Ann sneezes.

Northwest Plaza is ailing right now, and St. Ann’s finances are following suit.

The city depends on sales taxes from the shopping mall for a big chunk of its revenue, and sales at the mall have been on a steady decline since 2000.

“We are extremely sales tax driven,” said Mayor Tim James. “When that money goes on hiatus, which is what we are hoping, and not gone for good, it really shakes things up.”

Since 2000, the city has reduced its work force to 92 from 112 and has begun charging residents for garbage pickup that used to be free. But so far, the city has kept up appearances. Potholes are being fixed, and the streets are being patrolled.

Ah, yes, the facade of providing core government services instead of blowing scads of cash on a water park that won’t break even on an annual basis (like so many of your neighbor municipalities are).

So what is the lesson about this that municipal leaders can learn? Partnering with land developers in crony capitalist schemes to increase your sales tax revenue and then spending that sales tax revenue as though it will continue to grow infinitely might put you into trouble when those sales taxes decline?

Nah; the lesson is thank goodness you’re not fools like those people in St. Ann!

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That’s a Dig, Right?

Deep within this New York Times article lamenting that having only a couple of million dollars doesn’t make you nutso rich (a point of view with which I agree, actually), we get this bit of commentary with which I don’t:

David Koblas, a computer programmer with a net worth of $5 million to $10 million, imagines what his life would be like if he left Silicon Valley. He could move to a small town like Elko, Nev., he says, and be a ski bum. Or he could move his family to the middle of the country and live like a prince in a spacious McMansion in the nicest neighborhood in town.

But Mr. Koblas, 39, lives with his wife, Michelle, and their two children in Los Altos, south of Palo Alto, where the schools are highly regarded and the housing prices are inflated accordingly. So instead of a luxury home, the family lives in a relatively modest 2,000-square-foot house — not much bigger than the average American home — and he puts in long hours at Wink, a search engine start-up founded in 2005.

“I’d be rich in Kansas City,” he said. “People would seek me out for boards. But here I’m a dime a dozen.”

Speaking on behalf of those of us in the middle of the country, please stay on a coast.

I don’t know who’s more of a self-important twit; the journalist writing the story, or the mcmillionaire.

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Right Hand Called, Left Hand’s Phone Was Busy

You know what those of us with credible city experience call this:

Police were at a loss to explain why thieves removed the license plates of 32 vehicles in the Skinker-DeBaliviere neighborhood in the city’s West End over the last few days.

A slow night.

And special good kudos for this insight that the St. Louis Post-Dispatch:

“This is the first I’ve heard of anything like this,” Sgt. Al Nothum, spokesman for Troop C of the Missouri Highway Patrol, said of the rash of license plate thefts.

“Maybe the thief is taking the plate to get to the tab later, but then, why not snip the tab off instead of taking just as much time or more to unscrew the plate?”

Wholly guacamole, the stunning ignorance on display here is twofold:

  • The St. Louis Post-Dispatch runs to the Highway Patrol for a comment? Of course the Highway Patrol hasn’t heard of this. Stealing license plates/tags is a local offense; you would call the City of St. Louis police department or whatever municipality you live in when you discover someone in the Central West End has stolen your tabs
  • The state Highway Patrol is obviously unaware that the Missouri Department of Transportation recommends putting the registration tabs in the center of your license plate these days specifically to prevent people from cutting off the corners of license plates if the registration tabs are there.

Cut crisscrosses in your registration stickers, the thieves will snip the corner of the plate. Put the registration stickers in the middle of the plate, the thieves will steal the plates. Got any more good ideas, public officials?

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Someone Hit a Double down the 20 Yard Line

MADD offers comments on Amtrak offering booze to high end rail customers:

Mothers Against Drunk Driving questioned whether $100 in free alcohol was too much.

“This sounds like a lot of credit toward possible overindulging,” said MADD spokeswoman Misty Moyse.

Considering that the overindulgers would be riding a train, I think MADD is out of place here, but kudos to CNN for finding political opposition for a business/travel story.

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Ask Dr. Creepy

Dr. Creepy
Dear Doctor Creepy,
I’ve always enjoyed the privilege of being the creepy guy at work, which has meant fewer interruptions of a personal nature and less interaction with my annoying co-workers. However, the company has recently hired another fellow whose creepiness apparently is novel enough that I’m more normal by comparison. This means people are starting to stop by my desk to chat and are starting to invite me to lunches and happy hours. How can I regain my creepiness crown and enjoy merciful ostracization?

Signed,
Not Creepiest

Dear Not Creepiest,
As you well know, creepiness can come in a potion form, so look around the new creepiest person’s desk to see if it’s in a phial on the desk or in the drawers. If not, check the person’s lunch in the refrigerator; if it has mayonnaise upon it, know that this often masks a creepiness potion, and you should lick the mayonnaise off of the target’s sandwich (reassembling it afterwards, of course, to cover your tracks). This will give you the benefit of the elixir and deprive the target of its power.

Additionally, to improve your creepiness, remember the power of the mystical chant; this focuses your energy and chree, the mystical power of discordance that manifests itself as creepiness. I cannot tell you what mystical phrase works for you, but I’d recommend some simple, rhyming chant, perhaps even a nursery rhyme. You should chant this phrase to yourself whenever you’re alone at your desk, in an elevator, or in the men’s room (this works especially well for women). Remember, you can generate some kinetic motion from your chakras by rocking slightly as you chant. Try it now!

Finally, remember eye contact is key in communications. That is, you should never make it. Or you should stare. Don’t do what the straights do, which is break eye contact every once in a while for comfort and then look into someone’s eyes. Overdo it or don’t do it, that’s my motto.

But if you’re going to chant a nursery rhyme, do make the eye contact.

Sincerely,
Dr. Creepy

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Robin Carnahan: Ghostwriter

In 2006, Missouri Secretary of State Robin Carnahan’s office rejected two conservative-minded state ballot initiatives, but put four liberal-minded initiatives on the ballot.

In 2007, Missouri Secretary of State Robin Carnahan’s office might be rewriting a conservative-minded ballot initiative to hinder its passage.

Joseph Stalin allegedly said, “It’s not who votes that counts. It’s who counts the votes.” However, what counts more is who determines what is voted on, and Robin Carnahan is casting enough doubt on the process to merit her removal next election.

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More Taxes Never Enough

Missouri Department of Transportation, November 10, 2004, after a Missouri Constitutional amendment throws hundreds of millions of dollars into the Missouri Department of Transportation budget:

Funding from passage of Amendment 3 will provide thousands of miles of smooth roads on Missouri’s most heavily traveled highways, officials with the Missouri Department of Transportation announced today.

MoDOT unveiled the Smooth Roads Initiative, a plan to provide 2,200 miles of smoother pavement, brighter road markings and other safety improvements in three years. The initiative is the first part of a three-part plan to use Amendment 3 funds to improve the state’s highway system. A map specifying the selected roads was included in the announcement.

“Missourians spoke loud and clear when they voted for Amendment 3,” said MoDOT Director Pete Rahn. “By an almost four-to-one margin, they said they’re not happy with current road conditions, and they want them fixed. Starting today, that’s just what we’re going to do.”

Fast forward (or travel one day at a time like the rest of us) to August, 2007, not even three years later, and learn that despite the best efforts of the government, that new money ain’t enough:

Missouri’s top transportation official is canvassing the state talking about a “perfect storm” forming over his department.

Road construction costs are spiking, debt payments are ballooning, and at the same time, fuel taxes are generating slightly less cash and the federal highway trust fund is speeding toward a multibillion-dollar deficit.

Wow, who could have seen that coming?

The more you feed the government, the bigger it gets; the bigger it gets, the more it needs to eat. Ah, who cares about economics and an understanding of a bureaucratic nature. THE BEAST IS HUNGRY!

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Book Report: Sweet and Sour by Andrew A. Rooney (1992)

This book collects a number of Andy Rooney’s newspaper work from the late 1980s and early 1990s. As they’re not based on current events, they’re aging well, although a couple of his cast-off ideas have come to pass (a news scanner? Hello, RSS). As you know, I am a fan of the author (see also Years of Minutes and Word for Word).

So I like the author, I read his books, and I get, more and more as I age, where he’s coming from.

Unfortunately, the book finishes with a couple of eulogies that Rooney wrote for some long time friends and co-workers, which is a real downer of a way to end a book; coupled with the fact that Tangled Vines ended with eulogies, and suddenly old Brian is feeling a bit of end-of-life melancholy.

Books mentioned in this review:


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When Buzzwords Collide, Study Firms and Consultants Thrive

Study: Companies apply ROI to Web 2.0, despite softer benefits:

Companies are aiming to apply traditional ROI and business benefit measures to Web 2.0 tools despite the difficulties in measuring the “softer” returns, such as the improved productivity and communication that wikis, blogs and RSS bring to a company, a new survey has found.

There are tangible business benefits, such as a drop in support center calls because of rich Internet applications or a database system replaced by a corporate wiki, according to the Forrester Research Inc. study released this week, but they remain elusive for most IT decision-makers. Instead, most companies point to softer benefits, such as business efficiency and competitive advantage as the true value from Web 2.0 technology, according to the report.

That is, it’s hard to use one buzzword metric to justify a buzzword technology/architecture/whatever-the-hell-Web-2.0-is. However, if you’re going to define the terms and the very principles of accounting, no wonder you’re going to come up with the solution you want (which is: Web 2.0 is worth spending money on, particularly if you’re going to spend it on us/the people who commissioned the study).

Hey, I won’t knock it; I am in a profession whose benefits are hidden but whose lack is obvious. But I have a hard time selling on benefit/analysis kinds of things MBAs like. I have to try to sell it on do it right, and the customers will come.

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Book Report: Tangled Vines edited by Lyn Lifshin (1992)

This book is a collection of poems about the mother/daughter relationship. So I read it at my son.

Honestly, I bought this book at the tail end of our trip to the St. Charles Book Fair this year, when the box of books I was buying grew heavy and from some rows over the lad grew ill-tempered. So I saw a book I thought was by Lyn Lifshin and threw it in the box because my beautiful wife likes her. Heather later pointed out that Lifshin only edited it, but I had it anyway.

So I read it.

After reading a pile of McKuen and the Sonnets of Eve, an anthology was nice. You know that if you don’t like a poem, you won’t have to suffer through another fifty or so just like it.

And I have to say, you chicks have some odd relationships with your mothers/daughters. The early poems are fraught with envy of the youth of the daughters, some serious dwellings on the pending sexuality, discord, and eventual understanding in the eulogy. I’m glad we males have simpler competitive relationships with only the desire to supplant/prevent supplantation on the throne of Olympus.

A quick enough collection, with enough good pieces, to be worth the time. It’s got its share of fluff, though, and some outright poor pieces with too much “I” in them to be good poems.

Books mentioned in this review:


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Hollywood Moviemakers Lack Business Sense; Instead, They Have "Conscience"

According to the Washington Post, numerous filmmakers are going ahead with anti-war films:

On Sept. 14, Warner Independent Pictures expects to release “In the Valley of Elah,” a drama inspired by the Davis murder, written and directed by Paul Haggis, whose “Crash” won the Academy Award for best picture in 2006. The film stars Tommy Lee Jones as a retired veteran who defies Army bureaucrats and local officials in a search for his son’s killers. In one of the movie’s defining images, the American flag is flown upside down in the heartland, the signal of extreme distress.

Other coming films also use the damaged Iraq veteran to raise questions about a continuing war. In “Grace Is Gone,” directed by James C. Strouse and due in October from the Weinstein Company, John Cusack and two daughters struggle with the loss of a wife and mother who is killed on duty. Kimberly Peirce’s “Stop-Loss,” set for release in March by Paramount, meanwhile, casts Ryan Phillippe as a veteran who defies an order that would send him back to Iraq.

So Hollywood is going to try to educate us how to think, again. I have a bit of advice, Hollywood: If you’re interested in how the heartland (read: your customers) thinks about their country and its military, perhaps some comparisons are in order.

Title Budget Box Office Difference
300 65,000,000 210,614,939 145,614,939
Jarhead 72,000,000 62,658,220 9,341,780
 
Rambo: First Blood Part II n/a 150,415,432 n/a
First Blood 15,000,000 47,212,904 32,212,904
Born on the Fourth of July n/a 70,001,698 n/a
 
Courage Under Fire n/a 59,031,057 n/a
Three Kings 75,000,000 60,652,036 14,347,964

I realize this is not a comprehensive survey of box office and really reflects my own taste as much as anything else, but the more, erm, message-driven reeducational sorts of films don’t seem to do so well as the patriotic or less nuance-principled films, at least domestically.

But maybe Hollywood isn’t making films for us any more; perhaps they’re focusing on the foreign markets or on impressing themselves and the Academy.

However, allow me to predict that this story will participate in next year’s “Box Office Revenue/Ticket Sales Continue to Decline” story. Followed, no doubt, with industry claims that piracy is causing it instead of disconnect between the moviemakers and movienotgoers.

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Complete Misunderstanding of Concept of Failure

Perhaps the complete misunderstanding of the concept of failure is a precursor to actual success. For example, Kelly Clarkson speaks about the new sound on her new album, and the potential consequences of changing her sound on her new album:

It’s my favorite thing I’ve done. It could sell two million or 12 million. I don’t care. I just want people to hear it, instead of 100-year-old executives making decisions on what’s good for pop radio.

Well, there are other possibilities. But if the floor of your expectations is 2,000,000 records sold, you’re more likely to cut an album than someone who realizes you could sell none.

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