It Could Be As Effective As Sex Panther, Maybe

Springfield has extended mandatory virtual signaling, and they have followed the Science!TM:

“We know that whether or not masking is 20% effective, or 50% effective, or 90% effective, they are effective, and they will save lives,” said CoxHealth CEO Steve Edwards.

One wonders if 0% effective would still be effective, since it is the noun that the percentage modifies regardless of what the percentage is. According to this accounting, sneezing on a chain link fence is effective if but one tiny virus clings to it instead of floating free.

Sixty percent of the time it works every time.