Brian J. Kills Celebrities Dead

This morning, I saw the headline that Vanity died.

Vanity, a former protege of Prince’s and a member of Vanity 6, has died at age 57, TMZ reports.

According to the website, the singer — born Denise Katrina Matthews — had long suffered from kidney failure and recently battled abdominal illness.

The story mentions her in three films: The Last Dragon, 52 Pick-Up, and Action Jackson.

Late last year, I watched two of those films: Action Jackson and The Last Dragon. I even joked that I had to watch Chuck Norris in An Eye For An Eye because I’d seen as many Vanity movies as Chuck Norris movies last year, and I had to break the tie.

And now she’s dead.

It’s like when I started listening to Eydie Gorme, and she died.

Like when I watched Grizzly Mountain last year. Right before Dan Haggerty died.

Jeez, I’m sorry, folks. I don’t know how I’m doing this.

Actually, I suspect I do: It’s my brain seeing patterns when something comes to my awareness (aka the Jeopardy! nexus). I’m always fascinated by how my brain processes patterns.

TO BE CLEAR: I’ve thought about rewatching Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, but I have not. So Alan Rickman isn’t on me. Also, I’ve not been reading any legal theory or Supreme Court rulings nor have I suddenly liked David Bowie music. So DON’T LOOK AT ME THAT WAY.