George W. Bush has ginned up the fake “air terror” alert to make it inconvenient for you to fly. So you’ll have to drive to your destinations and will have to buy gas at Big Oil’s gouge–nay, plunge router!–prices.
You silly fools who think it’s all about influencing an election… you’ve forgotten It’s All About Oiiiil!
Oh come now, surely you can see that this is really all about lining the pockets of Big Sugar. Oil is just a cover.
Notice that the heartless, soulless, super-evil megacorporations of Big Sugar have set up gas stations as fronts! They entice you with gasoline, and then like good little consumerists, you wallow in for your 384oz of sweet, liquified death.
Sugar makes us fat. Fat makes us buy SUVs. SUVs bring us to the gas station – often – where we again load up on high fructose corn syrup.
And Big Sugar hides behind the perfect scapegoat of Big Oil. I swear, if this ever got out, they’d –
AT: Carrier lost