City of St. Louis Now Safe From Fire

Now that the city of St. Louis has driven Praxair out of the state for its intolerable crime of having accidentally caught fire while in the city limits, the city and its residents can now rest easier that they will not be in danger of the hell of burning.

Or not:

St. Louis fire and police officials were investigating two suspicious blazes this morning that heavily damaged unfinished construction projects in the Lafayette Square neighborhood, south of downtown.

No doubt the revered leaders of the neighborhoods and of the city will now rise up to drive construction and residences out of town to prevent them, too, from catching fire. And how the city shall then rejoice when its employment base and its tax-draining resident base live elsewhere, and there’s no chance of fire.

Or at least of fire that will be shown live on the cable news.

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