To be able to say "Noggle," you first must be able to say "Nah."
Now he’s apparently channelling the Kids in the Hall:
Hussein later lashed out at “agents of Iran and Zionism” in the courtroom and vowed to “crush your heads.”
For intelligence into how this is possible, I refer you to the following documents:
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You know, M*A*S*H isn’t as funny now, realizing that 50 years after the war and 25 years after the television show we’d still deal with the unspoken geopolitical implications behind the hijinks.
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Is there nothing this cabal cannot do?
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice took time out from matters of war and peace to catch this week’s finale of American Idol. Unlike many adults who claim they watch the show only because their kids commandeer the TV, Condi is an unabashed fan.
Rice was rooting for fellow Birmingham native Taylor Hicks and will soon send him a congratulatory letter, says a State Department official.
Nothing is too trifling for a conspiracy for these people. Rigging American Idol? Hey, they’ve got to stay in practice between elections.
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So in the year 2030, when someone from the retrodivision of an immersive entertainment syndicate plumbs the depths of arcana and comes up with a re-imagining of Firefly wherein “Mal” Reynolds is actually Mallory Reynolds and both Mal and her assistant Zoo (a guy, of course) are actually mystical religionists whose uprising has been thwarted by the corporate mercenaries of a Big Nuclear puppet regime, I shall merrily taunt, “So now you know how it feels!” to Firefly partisans who think the new Battlestar Galactica is better than the original.
Hopefully, Lawrence will be the chair at SLU by then so he’ll be nearby for a good personal taunting. Or perhaps I shall take the sympathetic high road. But only if I can be patronizing about it.
Dirk Benedict is Starbuck FOREVAR!!!1!
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How modern; the premise of the original, where the Cylons where the mechanical spawn of an ancient race inimical to man (or, if one goes extra-textually to the actual broadcast of the original series, merely an ancient race inimical to man), has been replaced with the premise that man created the Cylons to serve man.
Kinda like America funded Saddam Hussein in the 1980s or any other variation on the Biblical theme that all the evils you face today are retribution for the sins of your fathers and so on.
Your honor, note that this person is a hostile witness (and a rabid partisan of the original series).
Man, I hope this improves after the expository stills.
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Experts Blame Cop Show For Educating Criminals:
When Tammy Klein began investigating crime scenes eight years ago, it was virtually unheard of for a killer to use bleach to clean up a bloody mess.
Today, the use of bleach, which destroys DNA, is not unusual in a planned homicide, said the senior criminalist from the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department.
Klein and other experts attribute such sophistication to television crime dramas like “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation,” which give criminals helpful tips on how to cover up evidence.
In addition to knocking these shows off of the air, perhaps law enforcement would also prefer that we cut education spending or perhaps actually insert misinformation into the science curricula to ensure that our population cannot adequately think to prepare for crimes or to do anything, really, without the helping or hindering hand of the government.
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Facts about Jack Bauer, from television’s 24.
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Jeez, one could get lit just from the promos during football.
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By making fun of the elections in Finland:
Finland’s president finds her traditional support among women and the Social Democratic Party base, but lately to the surprise of many Finns — and her opponents in Sunday’s election — she has gotten an endorsement of a different sort.
The redheaded late-night talk show host Conan O’Brien has been promoting President Tarja Halonen’s re-election bid as part of a long-running joke about their supposed physical similarities.
“Why do I support Tarja Halonen? Because she’s got the total package: a dynamic personality, a quick mind, and most importantly — my good looks,” the comedian, whose show is broadcast on cable in Finland, said in a statement to The Associated Press.
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Old School: Norman Buntz
Damn Kid: Andy Sipowicz
How you answered the question certainly bespeaks your age, if nothing else.
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Yes, I am a grown man, but I read this Weekly Reader book some two decades after its expiration date and about two decades after I should have stopped reading Weekly Reader books–heck, I am sure by 1983 I was out of Weekly Reader books and was probably already into Agatha Christie or thereabouts, but I justify my reading on the following:
The book’s what you’d expect: a piece of fluff-and-puff written by early eighties PR flacks, talking about all of their clients’ beginnings. Performers who played nice characters were exactly like the characters they played; performers who played the villians were nothing like the characters they played. Everyone got starts in summer stock, doing the same plays for different community theaters until their big breaks. However, only one lists a rather racy film in her repetoire. Perhaps her publicist also included The Bitch, but the author couldn’t print the bad word.
Most of the superstars of 1983 television have faded to ephemera, many of their television shows unremembered. Peter Barton, featured on the cover, was in The Powers of Matthew Star. Byron Cherry was Coy Duke in that one forgotten season when Tom Wopat and John Schneider walked off of the set of The Dukes of Hazard. Most of the shows from 1983 producing this crop of superstars lasted one or two seasons. Hopefully, the superstars had good financial planners, or else some of them are panhandling in California even now.
Who could have foreseen, deep in Reagan’s first term, that the superstars who would have “careers” would include Scott Baio, Christopher Lloyd, Danny DeVito, and Tony Danza?
Regardless, I found the book slightly interesting and will retain some of its trivia for use in future North Side Mind Flayers matches. Also, the book held some geneology secrets for me, as some rumor has it that I am related distantly, through a series of failed marriages, to Phillip and Nancy McKeon–both of whom were superstars in 1983 and perhaps even the spring of 1984.
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The next time Marge and Homer invite you over to dinner, you can find your way to the Simpsons’ using this insanely-detailed Map of Springfield.
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Zubeck one of nine on bus safety task force.
Apparently, the higher the number, the more attractive the unit.
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An ABC news special tonight, anchored by Peter Jennings: The UFO Phenomenon — Seeing Is Believing
Extra special nod, sadly, for the radio commercials who play up that ABC News is asking the things the government won’t consider!
Credible. I would say incredible, but I too easily believe ABC News would do this and treat it as a serious matter, since that’s what its audience believes, and some beliefs are valid because one believes them. A select few, anyway.
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Yea, verily, and the angel opened the eighty-second or eighty-third seal (for lo, I had lost count by then), and the number of Battlestar Galactica episodes where the Starbuck was a woman exceeded those where the Starbuck was actually, you know, a buck who roamed the stars. “By this,” the angel said, “will you know the end is nigh.”
(Link seen on Signifying Nothing.)
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Trek fans, spot the error in this story about the end of Star Trek: Enterprise.
Here, let me help:
Enterprise, the fourth spinoff of the 1966-69 flagship, and the first prequel, contributed 98 episodes to the institution when it signs off on May 13. That’s the shortest run since the original series was axed by NBC after only 80 adventures; it’s the first spinoff series to last less than seven seasons.
Let’s count the spin-offs, in reverse order:
That’s for, by golly. You damn kids! You always, always forget:
Which lasted only two years, so it’s the shortest Trek series yet and it illuminates that there has been hot new Trek action in every decade since the 1960s, which somehow coincides with the same decades in which Cher has charted hits….. Hmmm….
(Link seen on Signifying Nothing.)
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Okay, so some twenty-five or more years after I spent Sunday mornings watching the Lone Ranger scattered among old episodes of Sgt. Preston and his dog King of the Yukon, Hopalong Cassidy, and the Bowery Boys, I bought a DVD containing the “pilot” episode of the Lone Ranger from 1949. To you damn kids who attend public schools, I will helpfully calculate that it was 55 years before the cheap DVD was released and by now about 56 years ago that network television presented a hero that:
Cheese, Louise, had the Lone Ranger lived to vote in 2004, he might have voted for John Kerry.
This is the shared herotage that some people would deny America. I’d like to think that perhaps we could share these ideals, but then some schmuck starts thinking that perhaps since my house is so nice I should give more than what I can spare beyond it that I start casting my own bullets out of whatever the heck they make nickels out of these days.
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I just heard, while listening to Michael Medved show on KRLA 870 in Los Angeles, Gary Coleman doing a radio spot for CashCall.com, an unsecured loan broker.
Heather and I have most recently seen him in Buck Rogers in the 25th Century where he played Hieronymous Fox, a child genius. As he did so many times. I grew up with Gary Coleman as a kind of hero, a kid my age who was always smart, clever, and funny. I’m somewhat sad to see him reduced to stumping for a lender based on his own past poor credit.
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Does anyone else wonder what this implies?
ABC is teaming with veteran TV movie producer Robert Halmi Sr. for “The Ten Commandments,” a four-hour miniseries that will retell the classic biblical tale of Moses.
Halmi was quick to point out that the miniseries will not be a remake of Cecil B. DeMille’s 1956 movie starring Charlton Heston, but will rely on extensive biblical and historical research for a realistic, truthful presentation of Moses and the Jewish people’s exodus from Egypt and their travel to Mt. Sinai, where, according to the Old Testament, God descended to deliver the Ten Commandments.
“I felt that (the Ten Commandments) is the first written document of law, morality and order for the human race, and we completely ignore it,” said Halmi, whose myriad credits include “Legend of Earthsea,” “Dinotopia” and “The 10th Kingdom.”
Story: ABC to make new ‘Ten Commandments’
That sounds swell. Recasting a biblical “tale” by the fellow who produced The 10th Kingdom (A father and daughter are caught in a parallel universe where the great queens Snow White, Cinderella, and Little Red Riding Hood have had their kingdoms fragmented by warring trolls, giants and goblins.) and The Legend of Earthsea (A reckless youth is destined to become the greatest sorcerer that the mystical land of Earthsea has ever known.).
Does anyone see the potential for offense-giving in this? Let the prelash begin.
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