Category: Quizzes

A Quiz for AJC

Brian J. Noggle

How geek am I?

    You are 38% geek

    		 You are a geek liaison, which means you go both ways. You can hang out with normal people or you can hang out with geeks which means you often have geeks as friends and/or have a job where you have to mediate between geeks and normal people. This is an important role and one of which you should be proud. In fact, you can make a good deal of money as a translator.

    Normal: Tell our geek we need him to work this weekend.

    You [to Geek]: We need more than that, Scotty. You’ll have to stay until you can squeeze more outta them engines!

    Geek [to You]: I’m givin’ her all she’s got, Captain, but we need more dilithium crystals!

    You [to Normal]: He wants to know if he gets overtime.

    Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

That’s almost as geek as you want a doc-u-matic 3000. However, I would like to point out I am geek enough to have troubleshot the result code provided by ThudFactor before prompted, and I am slightly more geek than Trey Givens upon whose site I first saw the quiz.

P.S. Trey, I know what your pseudonym means–you’re so 0wn3d!

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I Prefer “Laid Back”

Brian J. Noggle

Your Character’s Alignment

Based on your answers to the quiz, your character’s most likely alignment is Neutral.

Neutral

A
neutral character does what seems to be a good idea. She doesn’t feel
strongly one way or the other when it comes to good vs. evil or law vs.
chaos. Most neutrality is a lack of conviction or bias rather than a
commitment to neutrality. Such a character thinks of good as better
than evil. After all, she would rather have good neighbors and rulers
than evil ones. Still, she’s not personally committed to upholding good
in any abstract or universal way. Some neutral characters, on the other
hand, commit themselves philosophically to neutrality. They see good,
evil, law, and chaos as prejudices and dangerous extremes. They
advocate the middle way of neutrality as the best, most balanced road
in the long run. The common phrase for neutral is “true neutral.”
Neutral is the best alignment you can be because it means you act
naturally, without prejudice or compulsion.

It’s TSR’s Wizards of the Coasts’Online Alignment Test, you geeks.

To be honest, I was hoping for Chaotic Good, but oh, well. I don’t care that much one way or the other.

(Link seen on Fark.)

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Brian Gets His Second Perfect Score

Brian J. Noggle

Well, friends, I have gotten my second perfect score on a philosophy test. My beautiful wife led me to a test that rather simplistically asks a dozen questions to determine how your thinking relates to those of profound thinkers from ages past. And I got 100!

  1. Ayn Rand (100%)
  2. John Stuart Mill (86%)
  3. Jean-Paul Sartre (74%)
  4. Aristotle (65%)
  5. Kant (64%)

I would have to explain my seeming embrace of utilitarianism as a recognition of the tension between assuming rational people will follow the rules and the embrace of the rule of law to ensure that everyone minds a handful of codified manners. Which also explains why I won’t vote Libertarian for an executive branch position, sort of. While I’m sure that you, a reasonable person, will understand that theft is wrong, I’d rather have the pooled power of the State to enforce it in case you forget.

Also, there’s the problem with shoehorning my thought into a radio button answer, and the interpretation of the questions. However, let us recognize that the greatest good for the individual is also the greatest good for the greatest number. Some will fall through the cracks willfully or not, but that’s the nature of the statistics. All the children cannot be above average.

What about my other perfect score? Funny you should ask. My only perfect score on a college exam was my sophomore year in my Philosophy 104: Ethics. Man, I wonder how well I would have done in that class if I had bought the textbook? (Ask me sometime about paying your way as you go through a prestigious private university, and I will tell you how to get around niceties like textbooks.)

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Introspection

Brian J. Noggle

The Meatriarchy Guy leads me to question my relationship to my fellow man, whereupon I discover:

gambit
You are Gambit!

You are a fierce fighter and a good friend to have.
Your preference for solitude and your
attractiveness make you very intriguing to
those you meet. Unfortunately, close
relationships are few and far between for you
because you often have trouble opening up to
others.

Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

The Volokh Conspirators and Pejman made me question my fitness to rule, wherein I discovered:



Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.

Fools! I shall exact retribution!

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Unleashing the Inner Animal (II)

Brian J. Noggle

The Meatriarchy Guy leads me on a voyage of self-discovery, which tells me instead I am:

monkey
Your soul is bound to the Fifth Totem, Homid:
The Monkey.

Homid appears as a viridian monkey. He embodies
intelligence, potential, understanding, and
skill. He is associated with the color
viridian, the season of spring, and the element
of fire. His downfall is pretentiousness.

You are most compatible with Owls and Tortoises.

Which Animal Spirit Totem Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Probably more like it.

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I Feel Pretty

Brian J. Noggle

At The Patriette‘s counsel, I looked inward, and discovered who I truly am:

You're Perfect ^^
-Perfect- You’re the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you’re rare or that you cheated :P You’re
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend’s friends and be silly. You don’t
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You’re just happy
being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Which Dictator Am I?

Brian J. Noggle

Funny you should ask. Kevin at WizBangBlog led me to this self-discovery:

 
 


George Bush

You’re not the sharpest tool in the box and often have
to make up words to make yourself understood but you certainly know how
to work the system as a Mr. President Bush.
You take what you want, get people to do your dirty work but nurture your
allies making you a great collaborator and very dangerous enemy.

 

But that’s George W. Bush in the picture. Hmmm. Evil dictator. Hmmm.

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Momma and Pappa Bear Were Depressed

Brian J. Noggle

Okay, it’s not a quizilla thing, but while I was hanging around on MSN, checking Bill Gates’s sofa for hundred thousand dollar bills that might have fallen out of his pockets or from the books in which he uses them as bookmarks, I came across an important headline: Are you among the 19 million depressed? I just had to know! Come along with me, then, as I take the test.

17 million! That’s a more exclusive bunch than lottery winners, if you factor in dollar and ticket winners. I want to join!

Most of the time? No one told me this was going to be a math test.

Let’s see, I spend a third of my time sleeping, so that means if I spend half my waking time sad, that’s only 33% and not most. Let’s see, I spend 14% of my waking time angry at the crazy other drivers, and 32% furious at thoughtless cretins in the government or who want to get into the government who would dictate my life better than I do, 10% in alcohol-fueled mellowness, 2% in alcohol-fueled blackouts (wherein I could be sad, to be honest, but this is only 2% against the total), and 18.5% of the time in vague meloncholy (is that sadness? What are the parameters for sad?).

Is that 100% of the 67%….aw, just put down No and then click Submit. Interesting button choice. Submit!

Do I have trouble doing or enjoying the things I used to do? I’ve always been a lazy sack of crap, and it just gets easier.

Man, this question must certainly suck for former athletes or people who peaked early.

Never make it to the crest, and you never have to go down hill, I say, so I click No.

That about covers my life. Sometimes, I stay up until midnight writing even though I get up at five to go to work, and then when I am on vacation, it’s arise at ten, nap from noon until one, nap from five till six, and then go to bed at one or two. The Good Life.

Kinda funny that if I don’t get exactly the right amount of sleep might be a sign of depression. Might also be a sign of ambition or a life.

At any rate, I must click Yes.

Losing or gaining weight? Once again, the only way to not be depressed is to be status quo.

Personally, I like to attribute my weight gain to any or all of the following:

  • Getting married to an excellent cook.
  • Turning thirty.
  • Getting a desk job.
  • Taking six servings of “breads and cereals” in liquid form each day.

Of course, it could be the depression.

Also, my appetites have changed; I prefer dark beers to pilsners. Why oh why do I go on?? Oh, because it’s only question 4. Click Yes.

I can’t make decisions (Yes/No)

Sometimes the jokes write themselves.

I struggle to not get too lost in double negatives and click No.

This question’s all about feelings. Damn feminine crap.

I know I am hopeless and worthless, so who cares about how I feel about it? I feel fine about it; feeling bad about not having any hope or value outside a couple bucks worth of chemical compounds comprising this hunk of reflective meat won’t change a thing about it.

So I click No.

Tired for no reason? Probably not. Usually I get tired because I’ve been working hard, or I get tired because I’m depressed, but never for no reason. Click No.

Hmmm. If we rephrase this question to “I, myself, think about killing,” then we’d have a ooooh boy and how, or its closest equivalent, Yes.

However, since I think they mean suicide, I had to click No.

If I considered suicide, my wife would kill me.

The result?

I am not depressed, so I cannot join that exclusive fraternity, and of course I’m bummed.

But was I honest with myself? Did I lie? What if I lied and I didn’t know about it? Was I trying to hide something from this anonymous test? Was it really anonymous, or was Microsoft really storing the results so they could cross-reference my answers and my MAC address to provide a psychiatric profile they could sell to insurers and pop-under ad companies?

Perhaps depression would be the least of my mental health worries.

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Be Like Kate

Brian J. Noggle

Like Kate at Electric Venom, I have discovered:

You damn kids playing like you know the 80s when the 80s are as near to you as the damn 60s were to me in the 80s. I’m telling you for the last freaking time, Sade and Slade are DIFFERENT. They’re not even pronounced the same. Get offa my lawn before I turn the hose on you!

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Masculine-Writing Women and Men Who Adore Them

Brian J. Noggle

Virginia Postrel points to the Gender Genie, which parses a long text string of your writing to guess your gender.

My piece:
Buzzword of the Day: Sanity Check
The Judgment:

(NOTE: The genie works best on texts of more than 500 words.)

Female Score: 574
Male Score: 1068

The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male!

Heather’s piece: John Galt, Vomit, and Sundry Other Bodily Excretions
The Judgment:

(NOTE: The genie works best on texts of more than 500 words.)

Female Score: 1746
Male Score: 2005

The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male!

I think a woman who writes and thinks like a man is sexxxxy!

Also, word to those who would impugn my masculinity by pointing out that my wife has a higher male score than me: note that my differential is greater than hers. I’m sure that’s somewhere in the fine print of the Gender Genie, but I am too busy knitting doilies to read that closely.

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Another Day, Another Myers Brigg

Brian J. Noggle

My dear wife tried another Myers Brigg personality test, and at her prompting, I took it too, only to discover:

ISTJ – “Trustee”. Decisiveness in practical affairs. Guardian of time- honored institutions. Dependable. 6% of the total population.

Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test

Well, it’s more decisive than the one I took when I started dating this hot conservative chick destined for the bicycle. That test said I was **TJ, the stars meaning I scored even on the first two indicators.

Undoubtedly, tomorrow my percentages will differ with my mood. However, I am always thinking and judging, regardless of where the information comes from and regardless of whether I share it with you all or not.

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