So I am minding my company’s business (since I was on the clock, by terms of the employee licensing agreement I signed when I started, any business conducted on company property is company business, so you won’t catch me selling on eBay things and adding to the company’s revenue stream, werd), when I heard the most blatant buzzword since a couple of jobs ago when I heard a project manager say face time without a smirk on his face. This time, it was a project manager, too, who probably heard the phrase in a project management seminar or took it from a project management magazine, where it was nestled in between the ads for project management software.
This buzzword:
Sanity check
The context: “We’ll perform a sanity check.” I think he meant evaluate the position of the project vis-à-vis (Author’s note: This use of the italicized French term does not represent a “buzzword”; instead, it’s pretension. Please note and appreciate the difference. Thank you.) contractual obligations and customer considerations. However, because it’s the first time I ever heard of a “sanity check,” I can only guess this is what he meant.
From whence did this asylum-escapee of a buzzword originate? Never mind, perhaps the bedlam of the information technology field needs buzzwords and common cues from the world of psychology.
You want a sanity check? Here’s a schnucking sanity check:
Now, take a look at this, tell me what you see, and I can diagnose your particular sickness. What is it you see in this picture?
- I see a leading enterprise-caliber best-in-class solution for….
- Obviously, you’re delusional, and you work in sales or marketing.
I’m not sure; let me call a meeting to discuss with others what I might see.
- Welcome to project management. Worst part is that after the meeting, you’ll still be unclear about what you see.
Whoa, that’s a cool new technology/specification that’s not mature yet! We should tear down the complete infrastructure and rebuild all applications and server components to use this new design
- You’re a developer, and heaven help us all, but an influential or lead developer. Here we go again.
I see a series of lines and arcs that I can understand and describe in elaborate detail.
- You’re apparently in documentation. Don’t bother trying to describe the picture for me. By the time you’re three-fourths of the way through your description, one of those lead developers described above will shake up the Etch-a-Sketch and you’ll have to start over.
It’s a damn mess. A boondoggle. What am I supposed to do with that? There’s nothing about that that even resembles a picture. Tell me you’re not shipping that out in a frame, for crying out loud.
- Welcome to Quality Assurance. Now please be quiet, we’ve heard enough from you.
You know the worst part about “sanity check”? Not only is it a buzzword, but it’s an inappropriate buzzword because it assumes there’s some sanity to check.
