Category: News

Pennsylvania girl, 10, charged with tossing crack during drug raid:

A 10-year-old girl has been charged with evidence tampering after authorities say she tossed small bags of crack cocaine out of a window during a drug raid.

Kudos to the appropriate authorities for bringing this outlaw to justice! She was a dangerous villain, no doubt:

District Attorney Andy Jarbola said the girl had a “bad attitude” during police questioning.

“What’s so amazing about this investigation is how street-smart this 10-year-old child was,” he said. “She knew what she was doing.”

If she was a public school student, which might not be an easy assumption given the circumstances, I would have to commend her civics teacher for instilling the subtleties of evidence tampering and probably conspiracy, obstruction of justice, and false statements criminal charges to the child.

However, I think this is just a district attorney out for prosecutions for their own sake or worse, for the sake of furthering his career. Because from what I remember of my fifth grade year, my parents were paramount to my moral upbringing, and although they instilled me with a solid enough foundation of if the police can prosecute you for it, don’t do it, other children within the projects probably missed that. Without some other a priori religious or philosophical framework in place, perhaps this child thought that keeping mommy out of jail was a value worth preserving and that she had a moral imperative to defend her family life against arbitrary outsiders.

Jarbola said, “She knew what she was doing.” Indeed, it’s hard not to know what one’s doing when one is undertaking an action. This ten-year-old child was apparently throwing crack out of the window. The thing mommy stored or sold. Because the police were coming. I am sure that this was all within the child’s mind unless the mother was also a hypnotist. However, whether the child knew this was wrong is another matter. But not to Jarbola. Jarbola has actus reus, which is all The Man needs these days.

Frankly, I would like Jarbola to explain to the child why it’s wrong that Mommy is selling a product that alters the brain chemistry to willing consumers. That it’s illegal because it’s bad, and it’s bad because it’s illegal, or whatever simplicities and banalities Jarbola would use to back it up. Does Jarbola have an ethical idea for what, exactly, the ten-year-old child was doing so that he could explain it to her, or is it enough that what she was doing was illegal and she knew she was at a window, tossing baggies out?

Because frankly, I couldn’t explain it to her without resorting to the simple if the police can prosecute you for it, don’t do it dictum that I’ve outgrown as far as moral precepts go. As a practical guide, it’s handy, but if a child doesn’t adhere to it and cannot understand why drugs are evil and drug sellers, especially Mommy, are evil, it’s hard to convince me that the child knew what she was doing.

Perhaps we should count our blessings that Jarbola isn’t trowelling on additional charges like he would were she an adult: armed criminal evidence tampering if they found a gun on the premises, corrupting a minor (herself), and so on.

Regardless, I think Jarbola’s decision to charge the child and his facile summation discredit him as a prosecutor and, ultimately, as a man.

When a drunk man is in a woman’s home uninvited and is killed, is it acceptable or bad?

Man, that’s tricky. I mean, when the woman does it, it seems acceptable:

“She felt threatened,” says Lt. Lane Byers, Pickens County Sheriff’s Office. “She felt she could not leave the home to get away from him. And she felt she had to defend herself. She used a firearm to do so.”

But when cops do it, it doesn’t seem right:

City police officers shot a man twice with Tasers, then scuffled with him, a friend who witnessed the incident said Monday.

Hours after that Saturday scuffle, Nick Mamino Jr., 41, was dead.

When I read that last story, I reacted immediately with my standard, cops-misusing-tasers outrage, but seeing the first story so soon after has put the incidents into stark relief. In Collinsville, Illinois, the police came to a woman’s home where an unarmed man (with a history of armed criminal action) refuses to leave and runs back into the house. To lock himself into the bathroom and sob? To plead with the woman he loves who has just called the cops on him? Or to get a gun?

Given that and given the subtleties of the home-invader versus home-wouldn’t-leaver storylines that are only available the next day in the paper, I conclude the police were correct in trying to subdue him with less than lethal means which, unfortunately and accidentally, proved fatal to Mamino.

The woman who killed her home intruder will receive her recognition in Kim du Toit’s Department of Righteous Shootings. Meanwhile, the police in Collinsville will get pilloried for the crime of enforcing the law while law enforcement officials and for the ultimate results of Mamino’s suspect actions.

The British medical establishment has determined: Too Many ‘Self-Medicate’:

Dr Andrew McCulloch, chief executive of the foundation, said: “The research confirms our worries that people are drinking to cope with emotions and situations they can’t otherwise manage.

“Drinking alcohol is a very common and accepted way of coping – our culture allows us to use alcohol for ‘medicinal purposes’ or ‘dutch courage’ from an early age.

“But using alcohol to deal with anxiety and depression doesn’t work.”

No doubt the good doctor would prefer you try any of the handful of colorful brain chemistry-altering alternatives offered by prescription only. Using Prozac, Paxil, and so on to deal with anxiety or depression might work, might not work, or might make you suicidal. Kinda like whiskey, but more expensive and not available without a doctor’s visit.

Powerball jackpot: 1 ticket. 13 people.:

They used to chase dead-beat dads. Now they’re chasing dreams.

On Thursday, the Missouri Lottery announced the winners of the state’s largest Powerball jackpot ever, $224.2 million. The big winners, dubbed the Lucky 13, are employees with the Missouri Department of Social Services.

When interviewed, the winners said they wouldn’t work another day and that the lottery wouldn’t change them. Given their employer, this is probably not a contradiction.

These distinguished senators want to raise the cost of low-priced goods by imposing an additional 30% tax on them that people who buy low-priced goods will have to pay (plus, no doubt, an additional sales tax at their local sales tax rates on that 30% tax):

The U.S. Congress is in no mood to put up with further delays by China on relaxing its currency controls, three U.S. senators visiting Beijing said Tuesday.

The bipartisan delegation said the Senate is on the cusp of taking up a long-postponed bill that would slap a 27.5 percent tariff on all Chinese products to compensate for China’s pegged exchange rate. Debate could begin as soon as the end of next week.

Fortunately for the senators, this tax increase won’t affect the cost of high-priced goods that adorn their homes and offices nor the expensive suits they wear. People who improve their domiciles and wardrobes by buying low-priced import goods? Let them eat cake, provided it was baked stateside.

Crocodile kills humanitarian professor:

A professor at the University of Washington Medical School who moved to Botswana to help alleviate a shortage of doctors there, was killed when a crocodile dragged him from a dugout canoe, his family and colleagues said.

As long as American imperialists continue invading foreign lands to expand the HIV and AIDS free hegemony, brave freedom crocodiles will continue dragging the “private contractors” from their dugout canoes and eating them.

We must learn to accept the crocodile’s culture, and leave them to their crocodilicity that celebrates brutality and lowest common denominature. Indeed, the “death roll” can be quite liberating, in an asphyxiation/drowning high sort of way.

After a great outpouring of pageantristic public outcry board of alderman meeting, including the wailing of small business owners, the beating of union breasts, and the normal overreactions and activist theatricism that ensues whenever a certain discount department store tries to serve the public, Wal-Mart can build a super center in Wentzville, Missouri:

Construction will begin within 30 days to expand a Wal-Mart store to include full-service grocery shopping, a move opposed by union officials and a group critical of the giant retailer.

After the Board of Aldermen approved the project’s site plan Monday night, Phil Fanara, the store’s manager, said work will begin as soon as possible.

Fortunately, Wentzville obeyed the letter of the law and allow construction to begin apace, but the mayor captures the real consideration in a nutshell:

Mayor Paul Lambi said Wal-Mart’s site plan conforms to the city’s planning and zoning ordinances and that turning it down could have placed the city in legal jeopardy.

This doesn’t represent quite the victory for capitalism, growth, private property, or offering consumer/citizens more choices for their retail dollar; no, it’s only a recognition by city officials that if they don’t follow their own laws, they might get in trouble.

A sad testament that we must see this as one of the few victories against the expanding powers of the State in all its minor fiefdom incarnations.

Subdivision’s 17 mph speed limit marks life in slow lane:

Road signs in Heritage of Hawk Ridge make some drivers in the subdivision do a double take, and that’s just what developers wanted.

The posted speed limit in the retirement development is 17 mph.

It’s so novel that it warrants a story in the paper even though it’s not a legally-enforceable limit. It’s as much a novelty sign as the Trumpet Parking Only sign my wife hangs in her office–but the Post-Dispatch writes the story anyway, trying to convey that it’s a neat idea and an attention-getter, and the Post-Dispatch has by now gotten the attention of innumerable aldermen, councilmen, and perhaps even a selectman or two.

And why the hell not change the speed limits to some fool off-five number to get attention of motorists, most of whom will continue to drive at speeds on the five s because that’s where the line on the speedometer is. Ah, hell, laws and rules of the road are enacted catch as catch can to bolster revenues and to respond to infrequent accidents anyway.

I just wish the Post-Dispatch would be more consistent in lauding creativity in law enforcement that accosts and captures actual felons if they’re going to be so happy about things that ensnare normal people.

In Illinois, they’re going to make it illegal to embellish your past:

People who pretend to have earned some of the nation’s most prestigious military medals, including the Purple Heart, the Medal of Honor and others, could pay a fine of up to $200 under a bill being considered today by the state Senate.

Jumping merry jesophat, I think it’s odious, but criminal?

Sure it starts with pretending about having served with distinction in the military, but there’s nothing different, really, about lying about military service, lying about playing sports in high school, or lying about your sexual conquests.

“For one in our society to falsely represent themselves as having received that very, very important recognition, I think is a serious offense not only in law but to our morality,” said Rep. Dan Burke, D-Chicago, the bill’s sponsor.

I tell you what, Representative, let’s expand that bill a bit more to extend to embellishments or insincere promises made by politicians because I think that’s a series offense not only in law but to our morality.

The solution:

Federal prosecutors say the use and manufacture of methamphetamine by a Jefferson County man contributed to the death of his infant daughter in 2003. If a judge agrees, 28-year-old James G. Hayes could spend 30 years behind bars.

The problem?

The death of 4-week-old Jersie N. Hayes was reported to authorities on Jan. 21, 2003 by Hayes’ girlfriend, Kristy Toczylowski, who is the mother of four children with Hayes. The child was found in bed at the couple’s home on Treeview Lane, south of Fenton.

[redacted by blogger] even though an autopsy on the child proved inconclusive.

The missing ingredient, the magical summation that this blogger withheld to demonstrate the absurdity of the charge?

Prosecutors believe the dangerous chemicals use to make meth contributed to Jersie’s death, even though an autopsy on the child proved inconclusive.

Holy crimoly, I hope that the freaking toxicology and pathology classes that they teach in law school to students with political science undergraduate degrees include actual autopsies so that the ADAs can get diggin’ in the morgue to overcome what the actual coroner says.

Because I’d hate to think our legal system relies upon creative higher-office seekers and the various incarnations of television’s CSI for this illumination.

Revelation:

A minor league hockey team plans to spoof Vice President Dick Cheney’s recent hunting mishap by handing out orange hunting vests with the words, “Don’t Shoot, I’m Human.”

However, note again how the Cheney responded by not responding:

WE DEMAND THAT DICK CHENEY STOP HIS PATTERN OF DECEPTION AND IMMEDIATELY RESPOND TO ANY AND ALL SATIRE DIRECTED AT HIM! Anything less shows contempt for the American people and the media.

Is it that time again to discover that the game of Assassination is being played upon city streets?

I guess so:

A large-scale combination of “Hide and Seek” and murder is being played on the streets of major U.S. cities with water pistols.

“StreetWars: Killer” allows grownups to play out fantasies of being assassins, the Los Angeles Times says. The game began in New York, where Mayor Michael Bloomberg said that one of the founders, Franz Aliquo, “could use some psychiatric help.”

Party like it’s 1985!

UPDATE: UPI has also learned that some young people play games with paper and dice around kitchen tables while drinking copious amounts of Mountain Dew. Unconfirmed reports indicate that these people worship the devil!

In an article entitled "Some Finding Perils in Online Real Estate, the New York Times finds innumerable ways to blame eBay for unscrupulous sellers who will unload crap properties on "investors" who will buy properties unseen and then will pay contractors recommended by the sellers thousands of dollars for repairs. For example, the New York Times offers this bit:

Sam Hoyt, a Democratic state assemblyman and co-chairman of the Buffalo mayor’s task force on real estate flipping, whose aim is to educate consumers on the destructive effects of the practice, blames eBay, saying it enables dishonest flippers to lure buyers.

Mr. Hoyt said he had repeatedly appealed to eBay officials, asking the company to make specific changes, like informing sellers that they must comply with New York State disclosure laws and requiring a copy of written sales contracts. But Mr. Hoyt said he had received little cooperation from the company.

“What eBay is doing, in my opinion, is immoral,” he said. “They have a responsibility to not facilitate activity like this.”

I mean, Buffalo has a task force on the problem of capitalists trying to turn a profit with property, and this publicly-funded entity has determined that eBay is immoral for posting real estate listings.

No doubt the New York Times has issued a retraction for all of the overly-optimistic classified ads it has run in its history.

But hey, the NYT is "even-handed," as we can see from the "opposing viewpoint"

Representatives of eBay say the company has few legal obligations to buyers of real estate on the site. “The people responsible for house flipping,” an eBay spokesman, Hani Durzy, said, “are the people selling these houses and the people buying them sight unseen. How these sellers and buyers are connecting is not as important as the fact that the buyers are not doing the proper due diligence when buying a property.”

eBay pretty much understands the physics of the situation: fools share the same negative electrical charge as their money, and the fools will inevitably cast off their excess dollars.

The paper, on the other hand, only understands that somehow, somewhere, something is not regulated or legislated, and its heroes, the legislatures and regulatory agencies of government, should do something.

We at MfBJN, on the other hand, turn to the sublime koans of Master Kuni, who meditated: “You took the box? Let’s see what’s in the box! Nothing! Absolutely nothing! STUPID! You’re so STU-PIIIIIIIIIIID!”

Because instead of trying to outlawing stupidity, we prefer that it remain a personal choice, punishable by mockery.

In Missouri, some retail developers have mechanisms for levying surcharges on purchases within their developments. They can then use this money for things such as keeping up their developments, leaving the rent they charge the retailers available for more important things, such as their salaries and profit.

But the state is starting to look at this practice since, you know, these transportation development districts allow for the levying of taxes without accountability. The schizophrenic St. Louis Post-Dispatch cluck clucks the practice, which is odd since the paper lauds unelected boards pushing for taxes and conferring tax breaks for airports, sports teams, and myriad other things–so long as it’s not businesses who wield this ripe-for-abuse power, it’s okay with the Post-Dispatch.

But we here at MfBJN applaud Jerry Ebest, director of real estate for Dierbergs grocery stores, who tells the public it should just lie back and enjoy it:

“If you’re a consumer and you live very close to anybody’s store that is in your municipality, would you take time out of your schedule to drive to another city with a lower tax rate?” he asked. “My suspicion is you would not.”

Thank you, Mr. Ebest, for explaining how rising tax rates lift all boats.

Remember, friends, I said that eating your private papers is the only way to dispose of things, especially since recycling facility workers pay a lot of attention to what you recycle.

Well, someone braver than I am has illustrated that credit card companies will honor taped-together credit card applications. That have the “change of address” box marked. And that require a cellular phone to activate the credit line.

If you’ll excuse me, your Shidoshi will now assume the meditative position of the fetus and will chant a healing mantra which only sounds like whimpering.

Owen at Boots and Sabers asks:

We obviously need more background checks and bans to prevent these tragic deaths.

Massachussetts delivers:

Any individual who requires a machete for the purposes of cutting vegetation shall register the machete with the local police department on an annual basis and, upon payment of an appropriate annual registration fee as determined by the local granting authority, shall be issued a permit authorizing him to possess the machete solely for the purposes of cutting vegetation.

Behold the power of the blogosphere! Or, more importantly, the power of full time governments to enact satire as actual law.

What else can we infer, since he blows up their levees:

A levee break in the southeastern corner of Sonoma County has flooded part of state Highway 121 and may be threatening a half-dozen homes and a winery on surrounding farmland, according to the California Highway Patrol.

The levee, built on private property near the Sonoma Creek, broke just before 8 a.m. Monday, flooding the property owner’s vineyard and possibly threatening six homes and another vineyard about a half-mile south of the site, according to CHP Officer Gerald Rico.

If the affected residents are not flown immediately to Houston for long, government-paid hotel stays, I demand a Congressional panel!