Category: News

The Cat’s Paw:

The Monkey and the Cat (French title, Le Singe et le Chat) is best known as a fable adapted by Jean de La Fontaine that appeared in the second collection of his Fables Choisies in 1679 (book IX, No. 17). Although there is no evidence that the story existed before the 15th century, it began to appear in collections of Aesop’s Fables from the 17th century but is not included in the Perry Index. There are popular idioms derived from it in both English and French with the general meaning of being the dupe of another (e.g., a cat’s-paw). Usage of these and reference to the fable have been particularly employed in (although not limited to) political contexts.

In La Fontaine’s telling, Bertrand the monkey persuades Raton the cat to pull chestnuts from the embers amongst which they are roasting, promising him a share. As the cat scoops them from the fire one by one, burning his paw in the process, the monkey gobbles them up. They are disturbed by a maid entering and the cat gets nothing for its pains. It is from this fable that the French get their idiom Tirer les marrons du feu, meaning to act as someone’s dupe or, deriving from that, to benefit from the dirty work of others. It is also the source of the English idiom ‘a cat’s paw’, defined in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary as ‘one used by another as a tool’.

As North Korea continues on its course of heightened bluster and… well, I guess we’ll have to see if there’s an ultimate and that this is leading up to, many people are wondering when China will lean on its client state to keep them from going too far and triggering a war with South Korea and maybe the United States.

So I got to thinking: why would China not?

Maybe I’ve just been reading too much Swedish history recently and have its collection of abandoned defensive pacts in mind, but…. In a scenario coming from my wildly creative mind, North Korea invades South Korea, and the United States, led by a feckless leader who disdains allies of the United States, does not come to the aid of an ally bound by treaties. Or the military of the United States, diminished by defense cuts, does not prove adequate to the task of quickly saving its ally. Or a combination of these things.

If North Korea attacks South Korea and the response of the United States is tepid, what might China think about its prospects in an invasion of Taiwan and the United States reaction to that particular endeavor?

It costs China nothing in this scenario to let North Korea do what it would like and to see what the United States does.

Another thing I’ve taken to saying like it’s true around Nogglestead is that it’s entirely possible that World War III might take place in Asia, and the United States might only have a walk-on part.

One in a hole:

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports that the mortgage broker from Creve Coeur, Mo., is recovering after a sinkhole opened up beneath him Friday on the fairway at the 14th hole of a southwestern Illinois golf course. The pit that swallowed him was 18 feet deep and 10 feet wide.

I can’t laugh. The sudden media spotlight on sinkholes reminds me that I live in a sinkhole area; a couple years ago, one opened up beneath a home in a neighboring community, and although no one was hurt, it was a nightmare for a couple who couldn’t live in the house, couldn’t sell it, and had trouble with the insurance company. Also, the neighbor whose property abuts the old Old Wire road beside my house has mentioned he has a sinkhole in his property just a couple dozen yards from my house.

I’m getting better about worrying about political outcomes with the perspective that suddenly the ground might swallow me up or that the planet has entered an undetected asteroid belt and extinction could occur at any time. So who cares about the political system collapsing in a couple years?

New York City’s government is promulgating a set of advertisements arguing against teen pregnancy:

HRA’s new Teen Pregnancy Prevention campaign shows the high costs teen pregnancy can have for both teen parents and their children. The campaign features ads with hard-hitting facts about the money and time costs of parenting, and the negative consequences of having a child before you are ready. The campaign will be on display on subways and bus shelters citywide, and will also feature an interactive texting program and a video.

I’m sorry, did I say against teen pregnancy?

These ads argue against becoming a teenaged parent.

That is a very different thing entirely.

(Story originally seen at Trog’s.)

The United States Postal Service certainly is diversifying its revenue stream. For starters, it’s turning to a line of clothing to help close the revenue shortfall caused by the decline of first class mail.

But it’s also looking to stick its hypostome into the recently unpersoned Lance Armstrong:

The United States accused cyclist Lance Armstrong on Friday of defrauding the U.S. Postal Service by taking its sponsorship money at the same time he was doping and using performance-enhancing drugs in violation of cycling rules.

The government joined a civil suit against Armstrong, stripped of his seven Tour de France titles and banned for life from cycling in 2012 after accusations he had cheated for years. In January, he said the accusations were true in an interview with television host Oprah Winfrey.

They got positive publicity when Lance Armstrong was a hero, and nobody thought ill of the post office for Lance’s recent fall from grace.

Until, of course, it decided to join this suit, where it revealed that the money-losing enterprise has $30 million or more to spend on sports sponsorships, and that it’s not above spending more of its lost money on a speculative lawsuit.

So I got a phone call yesterday from a recording offering me…. I dunno. I get to the point where the recording says “Don’t hang up” or the sound of the ship’s horn or the ALERT that “The FBI….”

As I said, we get those daily even though 1) We’re on the no-call list and 2) Calling people on the no-call list is illegal.

Sure, when state governments got the company behind Rachel from Account Services, that stopped them for a little while and that particular flavor of illegal call has stopped, but other companies continue to ply the illegal trade.

Kind of like gun restrictions, hey?

People who follow the law follow the law, and people who do not do not. And making the people who follow the law follow more laws does not make the people who do not start to follow the law.

That’s QED stuff there, but in the Internet age, QED is a punchline marker.

Talk radio host Dana Loesch files suit in St. Louis against Breitbart.com:

Conservative talk radio host and commentator Dana Loesch sued the owner of the conservative website Breitbart.com Friday, claiming that although her relationship with the news and opinion aggregating website had gone “tragically awry,” Breibart.cοm LLC refused to let her work for the company or anyone else, forcing her into “indentured servitude in limbo.”

I wonder what’s up with that?

Headline: Why NASA says Mayans are wrong about predicting the end of time

Article brief, courtesy MfBJN: Because they are.

Let’s kill two birds with one stone, shall we?

Problem: The continuing NHL labor dispute.

Problem: Hostess Brands, Inc., liquidating over a labor dispute.

Solution: Open the NHL with replacement players taken from the bakeries.

America, you’re welcome.

(First link seen via Wombat over at The Other McCain.)

House-Size Asteroid Comes Closer to Earth Than the Moon Friday:

A newfound asteroid the size of a house will fly closer to Earth than the moon on Friday (Oct. 12), but poses no danger of impacting our planet, NASA says.

I’d like to believe NASA here, but they’ve cut the collision detection slide rule budget for more outreach efforts.

As a precaution, I’ve put a Mok and a sorceress on speed dial.

UPDATE Thanks for the mention, Ms. X. and for the link, Ms. K. Hey, readers, did you know Ms. X. once said my novel John Donnelly’s Gold was “quite an adventure” and “a satisfying story”? Really. You can own it on Kindle for 99 cents, in trade paperback, or for your Apple devices.

An email from the Romney campaign has a subject line that might appeal to the followers of a certain cranky Texas congressman:

I suspect though the text of the message made clear, though, that you’d meet not Ron Paul but Paul Ryan.

I don’t think the Ron Paul fans would be fooled after all.

I hope the manatee will testify in this case:

The woman wanted by police for harassing and riding on a manatee at Fort DeSoto Park has turned herself in.

Why is riding a manatee illegal?

Gutierrez told deputies she’s new to the area and didn’t realize it was against the law to touch or harass the creature.

According to the Florida Manatee Sanctuary Act, “It is unlawful for any person at any time, by any means, or in any manner, intentionally or negligently to annoy, molest, harass, or disturb or attempt to molest, harass, or disturb any Manatee.”

Does riding a manatee automatically count as annoying, molesting, harassing, or disturbing (or trying to do so)? You’d have to ask the manatee.

Or, as the authorities have done, just assume the answer is yes. Because of the mind-meld, I guess.

You: You get to stand in line, take off your shoes, go through a backscatter machine or whatnot, get a free underpants massage, answer silly questions, listen to a loop of monotonous warnings over the PA, and so on.

Your cat? Not so much.

The story of Bob-Bob the cat received national attention last week after he snuck into Maze’s suitcase, made it through screening at Port Columbus International Airport and was loaded into an airplane for a flight to Orlando.

. . .

Mike Groleau, who handled the bags for the group, said he thought he saw the suitcase wiggle, but went ahead and loaded it along with the other bags.

Your bags can wiggle, and that’s all right with airport employees who’ve got other things to do, other planes to load and unload, little cart trains to careen around the tarmac, and whatnot.

You’re not actually supposed to reel in the grenade:

Matt Tucker caught a couple of bass at Fellows Lake this morning — and fished out a live hand grenade as well.

Tucker, a Springfield firefighter, said he was casting a lure near the highway bridge on the east side of the lake, when he hooked a tangle of line on the bottom.

He noticed an old sock near his lure and pulled the odd bit of trash out of the lake.

Inside the sock? A Vietnam-era pineapple hand grenade with the safety pin still intact.

Some people can’t even grenade fish right.

UPDATE: Welcome, Neatorama readers. You might have heard John Farrier call me “novelist Brian J. Noggle” because my comic IT Heist novel John Donnelly’s Gold is available in paperback, for the Kindle for 99 cents, and at the iTunes store for you iPad people.

The newspaper urges caution:

Urging caution, the headline reminds us that Isaac will not heal the fall of the lake levels. It won’t, in a couple of days, fill the reservoirs and the aquifer. As a matter of fact, it doesn’t even seem to indicate that it’s a step in the right direction, some good news amid a summer of only bad, or anything positive.

In short, it’s the opposite of all the economic headlines one gets, where every encouraging step means we’ve turned the corner into a new Gilded Age. Where a fall in the rate of increasing numbers of people seeking public assistance or unemployment benefits heralds a great recovery, regardless of the fact that the numbers of people unemployed increases.

Strange disparity there.

The city of Republic, Missouri, which has considered whether to mandate a trash collection service for its citizens instead of allowing residents to choose a trash hauler, has decided not to take that small bit of liberty after all:

A years long trash debate in the city of Republic created a stinky situation. City Council met Monday night to decide if the city should take over trash operations and sign business over to one company. Currently, it’s up to individuals to hire trash haulers. In a 2-6 decision, council silenced the situation and killed the measure.

The citizens’ freedom to choose overcame the government’s self-interest arguments (save money on the road wear) and the government’s benefits for citizens arguments (it would give the citizens a lower rate).

So a small victory for limited government this week in a small town in southwest Missouri. Maybe that explains why it’s so hard to find news coverage of it.

Here in Missouri, it’s a Sales Tax Holiday weekend:

By state law, the sales tax holiday begins on the first Friday in August and continues through the following Sunday. In 2012, the three-day holiday begins at 12:01 a.m. on Friday, Aug. 3, and runs through Sunday, Aug. 5. Certain back-to-school purchases, such as clothing, school supplies, computers, and other items as defined by the statute, are exempt from sales tax for this time period only.

Now, as you Missourians head out to the shops to get school supplies this weekend to save a couple percentage points on your purchases, you’re engaging in strategic thinking and behavior to minimize your tax liability, to increase your personal cash flow, and to use your capital as you want instead of maximizing your contribution to the collective good as ministered through the various levels of government entities that collect and disburse that revenue.

In short, you’re just like Mitt Romney.

And Harry Reid, and Nancy Pelosi, and Barack Obama, and George Soros, and Charles Schumer, and the dreaded Wall Street cartoon villains, the Koch brothers, Sheldon Adelson, and so on and so forth.

The difference is that this rational behavior is somehow portrayed as bad when Republicans or businesspeople do it. But a lot of people do the same thing every day and, in Missouri, every first weekend in August.

In New York City, a new program is called Latch On NYC Initiative.

Strangely, it means it literally, not figuratively.

Still, it’s the best program name for an overweening (ahut*) government program I’ve ever seen.

(Link seen Hot Air.)

* ahut represents a vocalization my sainted mother used to make whenever she made a pun or some bit of humor. It was a sort of throat semi-clearing rimshot she used to signify pun intended.