In My Day, a DoR Degree Meant Something

Pardon my disgust, but I just heard a DJ for KSHE 95, “Real Rock Radio”, identify Guns N Roses “Welcome to the Jungle” as “the title track” to an album. Johnkin’ J!

For you damn kids, “Welcome to the Jungle” was the first track (on side 1, before we had CDs–and we liked it that way) of Appetite for Destruction. But this DJ didn’t know that. Back in the idealized-and-probably-inexistent old days, disk jockeys (back when the discs were bigger than dinner plates, dammit!) knew their music. But now, the Doctors of Rockology don’t know much.

I don’t so much blame public education as I do for the consolidated inifinitization of radio stations, wherein the disk jockeys are all utility infielders, plugged into whatever genre of music the home office determines needs a “resource.” This explains why drive time guys from the light hits stations suddenly find himself running the morning shows on country and western stations–no knowledge of Kenny Rogers or Hank Williams required!

Sorry, but it irks me. These guys dispense asides and information about what you hear on the radio, and they don’t necessarily know the truth, nor how the particular work or individual talent fits into the tradition of the style of music. And they don’t care to learn, because it’s not important. Not as important as their careers, which will soon take them out of this mid-sized market, and if they’re lucky, will land them in the overnights in a major market, regardless of whether they know or even like the damn music they play. It’s just a job, and where their enthusiasm and knowledge of the music leaves off, their knowledge of established sophomoric radio tricks, such as the novel prank phone call, takes up.

Welcome to the jungle, indeed.

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

On the AM Radio

On Sunday, while frantically scanning the AM band for the Packers game, I uncovered Real Oldies 1430. Ahhhh.

Friends, the FM band in the St. Louis area has consolidated into a half dozen “Greatest Hits of the 70s, 80s, 90s, and Now!” station, each of which distinguishes itself by playing the eighteen song nationalized playlist in a different order! The Great Oldies Shift has stripped fifties and early sixties music from the dial, instead focusing on the decade popularized by That 70s Show and the “retro” Reagan era.

So I’m happy to see a station still playing the older stuff, and on AM radio. That’s how this was supposed to sound, with a hint of static. Man, I hear it and I hearken back to my youth, back in 1964, cruising for girls with Bob Greene. No, wait, that’s a little before I was born, but rest assured, you damn kids, AM radio was not.

So pardon me while I dabble in some of my own nostalgia and some borrowed. You kids wouldn’t appreciate the subtle hiss of a groove either. Get offa my lawn, or I’ll beat you with the frozen hose.

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

Christmas Ruined Already

104.1 WMLL “The Mall” in St. Louis has become the first all-Christmas carol radio station. They’re touting it, of course, as the first, which should imply the best, but really just means the station whose regular format (greatest hits of the 1980s and 1990s) is most expendable (least profitable) in the stable and spectrums of radio stations owned by the megabroadcaster in this market. Regardless of the bigger implications, I have listened to it somewhat this weekend.

I was a little disappointed. They ran more “contemporary” Christmas carols, with electric guitars screeching out “Walking in a Winter Wonderland”. Annie Lennox doing Christmas songs? Christmas carols are not the contemporary, they’re timeless. They’re more croon than synth. Bing Crosby, not Natalie Merchant.

I could tolerate the McKenzie Brothers’ “Twelve Days of Christmas”. It’s a light-hearted diversion, and since it’s almost thirty years old, I guess it’s almost a classic in its own right.

I don’t quite understand why they played Jewel’s “Angel Standing By”. I guess it mentions angels, but it’s not a Christmas song. At all.

But I have banished it from my radio dial not for these lapses, which are really flaws and not transgressions. But banished it I have; I was looking to jumpstart my Christmas spirit through musical transfusion, to enjoy the sounds of the seasons since I am not likely to see snow for Christmas again. But this station’s more involved in having its management wink-wink-nudge-nudge that Christmas doesn’t have to be traditional, that it can be hip and smirky. That’s not why I listen to Christmas music when I bother to listen to Christmas music. So enough already.

The transgression?

I could have happily gone through my entire life without learning Cheech and Chong did a Christmas song.

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

Battle of the Gritty Authentic Female Musicians

You think Michael Ironside vs Tommy Lee Jones would be a rumble? Well, you’re right.

However, I’ve been thinking about another match-up: The Battle of the Gritty Authentics:


Ani “Folk You” DiFranco
Vs.
Pi “I Go By One Name I Got No Place for a Nickname” nk

Both of them do in-your-face, unapologetic songs that describe the modern female condition. While Pink‘s undoubtedly got a size advantage over the Pierced Pixie and has had radio-played hit songs, Ani DiFranco built her own record label with her bare hands, enduring the heat and the thousand tiny cuts and callouses that the endeavor inflicted, and no one would ever compare Ani to damn Britney Spears–Ani would garrote the offender with a spare guitar string on the spot.

Advantage: DiFranco!

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

Someone Pass This Message on To Rob Thomas

So I was listening to some Ani DiFranco during a long vehicle voyage this month, when I struck it. No, not a motorcycle, since I was heading out of Milwaukee and every Harley-Davidson in the country was on the other side of the highway. I struck upon why I can listen to Ani when she covers some of the same themes I have maligned Matchbox Twenty for covering over and over.

For example, the failed relationship between a person and a woman. Ani DiFranco covers this ground in her song “Marrow” while Matchbox Twenty did it in their hit “If You’re Gone“. Both songs depict the member of the opposite sex in a less than flattering light, but not with the same skill:

Ani DiFranco
Rob Thomas
cuz i got tossed out the window of love’s el camino
and i shattered into a shower of sparks on the curb.
you were smoking me weren’t you
between your yellow fingers,
you just inhaled and exhaled without saying a word.
I think you’re so mean

So Ani’s got a little more lyrical depth. Matchbox Twenty’s collective emotions run from A (self-pitying emotions when dumped, a la “Rest Stop” or “If You’re Gone”) to B (self-pitying emotions when you don’t belong, such as “Bent”,”Crutch” “Disease” or “Unwell”).

Ani DiFranco can capture the ins, from “Shameless” to “Hell Yeah” to “Shy“, and the outs, such as or “Out of Range“. No one’s better at capturing the worst, most poignant song, the love song about a couple who almost made it, such as “School Night” or “Both Hands“, or the songs about love yet to be resolved (“The Diner”). I won’t even begin troubling you with her political or girl power lyrics.

How about the music pacing and variation? Oh, yeah.

Face it, Matchbox Twenty, or matchbox twenty, or m20 or whatever the hell they’re going to be for their next album, has two speeds: Slow Moody Grunge Lite, like “If You’re Gone”, and Regular Moody Grunge Lite, which is everything else that moves a half speed faster.

Ani, on the other hand, varies tempos and even styles. From I-Wish-I-Were-At-A-Slam “Coming Up” spoken word to “Little Plastic Castle” I-Am-A-Folk-Song-Ha!-Tricked-You-I-Am-Ska, Ani varies the rythym and tempo as well as the theme.

Ani DiFranco’s a grown up, and a person who’s, for lack of a better term, thirtysomething can listen to Ani. Her many albums provide enough variation that an aging Gen Xer can wallow in self-evaluation with her, without riding the path enough to rut it. Ani’s music grows with us, and we with it.

If someone reading this feels like it, pass the memo to Robbie and crew. I don’t think he’d listen to me if I told him.

Also, please, no one mention to the Republican National Committee that I even know who Ani DiFranco is. I so treasure those personal mass mailings from Dick Cheney.

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

Called for Backup

Song Sung By Backed Up By
Don’t Forget Me When I’m Gone Glass Tiger Bryan Adams (for Heaven’s sake!)
My Life Billy Joel Peter Ceterra (from Chicago, you damn kids! No, not that Chicago)
Stormfront Billy Joel Richard Marx (the only act I have seen twice on the same tour, werd!)
Put On Your Little Brown Shoes
C’est Le Bon
Supertramp Ann and Nancy Wilson (partying Heartily, no doubt)

That’s what I could think of off the top of my head.

I have so much good bar bet trivia roaming in my head, I should go to bars and bet more frequently.

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

Journalist Overstates Importance of Variant Spelling

In a story on FoxNews.com entitled Hip Hop Artists Rewrite Dictionary, Jennifer D’Angelo fawns over variant spellings used by hip-hop and rap artists, such as Nelly (“Hot in Herre”), Mya (“My Love Is Like … Wo”). and Christina Iwannabareall (“Dirrty”). She goes so far as to assert:

Every generation invents its own slang (think of the ever-changing synonyms for “cool.”) But this crop of artists is changing the spellings of already established English words.

I beg to differ. Ms. D’Angelo is forgetting:

Song Title:

Artist:

Year:
“Tip Toe Thru’ The Tulips With Me”

Tiny Tim

1968
Gimme Dat Ding

Pipkins

1970
Tuff Enuff

Fabulous Thunderbirds

1986
C’Mon And Get My Love”

D-Mob featuring Cathy Dennis

1990
“Nothing Compares 2 U

Sinead O’Connor

1990
Source: The Billboard Book of One Hit Wonders
Song Title:

Artist:

Year:
“Do Ya Think I’m Sexy”

Rod Stewart

1979
“I Gotcha

Joe Tex

1972
Outa-Space”

Billy Preston

1972
“Pop Muzik

M

1979
Use Ta Be My Girl”

The O’Jays

1978
Source: The Billboard Book of Gold & Platinum Records
Song Title:

Artist:

Year:
Betcha By Golly Wow”

The Stylistics

1972
C’mon Everybody”

Eddie Cochran

1958
“Don’t You Worry ‘Bout a Thing”

Stevie Wonder

1974
Every 1’s a Winner”

Hot Chocolate

1978
Lawdy Miss Clawdy”

Lloyd Price

1952
Rockit

Herbie Hancock

1983
U Got The Look”

Prince

1987
Source: The Heart of Rock and Soul


And I didn’t even dig into my copy of Billboard Top 1000 Singles – 1955-2000, okay?

So D’Angelo has discovered a trend in song titling that has extended back 50 years at least. Perhaps she should have gotten a government grant of some sort to unearth it.

The difference, of course, between then and now is that some people, including some educators, are trying to legitimize these alternate spellings in written communication. In the name of self-expression, of course. However, half of written communication is expressing what you want to express. The other half is conveying that meaning so that the reader can understand.

Hence, variations in song titles are okay, because the actual communication is aural; that is, the recipient gets the benefit of a beat you can dance to and inflection. However, in written communication, standard spelling, syntax, and semantics alone convey all meaning, so if you’re busy “expressing your individuality” by writing gibberish and higherglyphics, you’re losing readers. Sorry to dent your self-esteem.

So what’re my points?

  1. Variant spelling in song titles and lyrics isn’t a new phenomenon.
  2. It’s okay for song titles and lyrics, but not for “the dictionary.”
  3. I have a lot of cool books about music.

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

Jack Blade, American Poet

And all this could seem like a dream out the door
With everyday people, face down on the floor
from “The Secret of My Succe$s
in the collection Big Life


Class, discuss:

  1. Why would a dream leave the building, and would it use a door? Does this personification of the concept of “dream” work in the complete context of the poem?
  2. What aspects of modern life command common people lie to face down on the floor and to not move, it’s not kidding this is a real gun? How does this compare to Thoreau’s assertion that most men lead lives of quiet desperation?
  3. Does the juxtaposition of metaphors identify the harried nature of the contemporary world, or is it a feeble attempt to force rhymes?

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

Is “Iris” a Love Song?

Some people seem to think that the Goo Goo Dolls’ song “Iris” is a love song.

Personally, I think it’s begging for a restraining order. Hell, I creeped out women with mere sonnets describing their beauty, much less anything with the lines of

You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll
Ever be
And I don’t want to go home right now

Or

When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

John Hinckley, Jr., might have hummed this tune were it around in 1981.

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

A Gentle Reminder

Remember, dear reader, the number 1 hit song from C+C Music Factory was not entitled “Everybody Dance Now” even though that’s what “Zelma Davis” shouted several times during the song, between Freedom Williams’ rapping. The correct title for this song is “Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)“. Please remember to request it by its full name the next time you’re in a honky tonk.

Tidbit: The reason I enclosed Zelma’s name in scare quotes is because VH1.com asserts that she merely lip synched vocals performed by others. Talk about a thing that makes you go hmmmm.

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

Real or Memorex?

Over at the Volokh Conspiracy, conspirator Randy Barnett has an interesting musing on young tribute bands. He wonders, who really reflects the true nature of the songs: tribute bands who are the same age as the band they cover when that band was popular, or the Band, which by now contains replacement members and old men?

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

We Gave Up On Cable Too Early

I dropped off our digital cable box on Monday (and then dropped off, reluctantly, the remote Monday afternoon) after my beautiful wife and I determined the cost of “content” piped to a television most likely turned off exceeded our complete monthly electricity bill. We decided we could do without television and digital commercialless music. We might have thought too soon.

We made that rash decision before Rascall Flatts decided they would put nudity in their next video and before Country Music Television (CMT) decided they would play it.

If only I had known you could see naked people on cable television! Having the ability to see the human form–well, okay, the female form– on cable television any time I want is worth $1100 a year!

(Thanks to Fark for the pointer.)

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories

Making the Personal Songs Political

On Tuesday, over on Politiblog, Jared M. enumerated the ways Fred “Wimp Biscuit” Durst (whose personal site is not ihatefreddurst.com as you might expect) and Johnny “Boy Named Goo” Rzeznik schnucked up the Pink Floyd classic “Wish You Were Here” (scroll down–I linked to the lyrics for the whole album Wish You Were Here so you could get the feel for the whole album) for a tribute concert of some sort.

Here’s what I said in the comments for the post on Politblog:

The easiest way to wreck a good Pink Floyd song, or any song, is to make the personal political.

The best Pink Floyd songs conveyed personal experience. Think Dark Side of the Moon, Wish You Were Here (which, of course, contains “Wish You Were Here”, and The Wall.

Other, more self-consciously Save-The-World-By-Espousing-My-Whack-Job-Ideology work, notably The Final Cut, didn’t resonate because those works preached.

You can follow the trend in Roger Waters’ own work, where The Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking tells a personal story of love loss and redemption, but Radio KAOS is some unlistenable parable and Amused to Death explains why the West, particularly America and Great Britain, are militaristic punks (don’t get me started on the contradictions in its messages).

David Gilmour, on the other hand, has his moments of protest, but his solo work and his Momentary Lapse of Reason and beyond Pink Floyd show that he knows that people connect best to personal messages within the music, not politics and preaching, and especially not hectoring.

So Durst and Goo have shown their tone-deafness to the reason “Wish You Were Here” resonated with listeners in the first place: it was a song from a narrator to a friend, not a manifesto.

Their update pays homage to a recognized and revered old song, but they’ve entirely missed why it’s recognized and reverered. They’ve tried to ride the coattails of the song, and the song just shrugged the jacket off, leaving them standing there with neither recognition nor reverence.

I just wanted to repost it here because:

  1. It’s a long post, almost an essay.
  2. I am too lazy to write essays on my own site tonight.
  3. I figured some of my fans (one or two of the three or four) might have listened to Pink Floyd once or twice.

Consider it a manifesto to songwriters and poets everywhere. Get your message across by singing individual experiences to individuals, not by thumping your bleedin-heart-containin’ chest.

Buy My Books!
Buy John Donnelly's Gold Buy The Courtship of Barbara Holt Buy Coffee House Memories