Scientists Discover Paradox in Pop Song; Universe Collapses Upon Itself

Vanessa Carlton, “A Thousand Miles“:

    Making my way downtown
    Walking fast
    Faces pass
    And I’m homebound

How can she be walking fast downtown if she’s homebound? This paradox clearly threatens the universe as we know it, and we can all blame our impending annihilation upon Vanessa Carlton.

UPDATE: A respected correspondent writes and offers proof that this does not mean that the true and the impossible have not collided in the universe due to this song, as the narrator of the song might use the mechanism of astral projection to walk, using a spirit body, downtown. We thank the correspondent for his insight and credit him with the continued presence of existence as we know it.

UPDATE: Another correspondent, albeit one of somewhat less savory character, points out that homebound is actually two words in the text: home bound. This means that she is actually, at the time, tied to a chair in her kitchen/dining room and is still not capable of being home, bound, and walking downtown; however, the astral projection postulate holds, and this second correspondent will be disappointed to learn that he cannot upset the balance of the universe that easily.

2 thoughts on “Scientists Discover Paradox in Pop Song; Universe Collapses Upon Itself

  1. Only those who can afford lofts, parking, and regular trips to the suburbs for necessities like food and gas.

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