Woman who kept husband’s body in freezer sues Joplin Police Department
The better headline would be Woman who kept husband’s body in freezer wants freezer, husband’s body back.
Because that is true.
To be able to say "Noggle," you first must be able to say "Nah."
Woman who kept husband’s body in freezer sues Joplin Police Department
The better headline would be Woman who kept husband’s body in freezer wants freezer, husband’s body back.
Because that is true.
The other day on the Springfield News-Leader‘s home page:
Come on, you fresh product of j-school elsewhere, do some local history research.
Greene County, Missouri, named after "Mean Joe" Greene, has an e at the end of the name.
I am pretty sure the forefathers of this great county were Steelers fans. Or Coke fans.
On an education article, no less:
MSHP urges caution as Missouri traffic deaths up 7% from last year
If it saves just one life.
Scientists Create Antibody That Defeats Coronavirus in Lab
I would have to infer from the headline that the Pekingese didn’t make it.
(Headline stolen from a friend’s Facebook page; my schtick recreated here for your amusement.)
Headline: DOJ says to ‘expect action’ on religious gatherings and social distancing regulation.
The news item comes from a tweet:
The Federal government is not going to act on religious organizations; it is looking to monitor lower governments’ actions, that is, state and local governments’ enforcement on social distancing as it regards to religious organizations.
No doubt this is in response to anecdotal stories about governments ticketing drive-in services and whatnot.
However, the oversimplification in the headline makes it sound like the Federal government itself is getting ready to crack down on churches and synagogues. But that is not my reading of it.
Wildlife ranger mauled to death by shark on Great Barrier Reef was doing “dream job”
To be honest, I’ve never been mauled by a shark in a dream, but if I did, I would probably startle myself awake when the shark got really close.
There’s a reason that I’ve chosen a home thousands of miles from sharks.
ICYMI: Gov. Parson says he singed a sixth execute order during daily COVID update.
Our governor is so small government that he lights edicts on fire.
Wait, a minute, this just in: Naw, apparently it’s a typo in the headline. He signed the thing. Although it’s an order suspending late penalties for concealed carry licenses which is Missouri enough.
Apparently, in Britain, embarrassment is 10% as deadly as Coronavirus.
The headline on and the article itself are a little more clear that it wasn’t the cops who were killed fifty years ago.
Catastrophic cold comes to Britain!
Sweet Christmas, 1C is just a little above absolute zero, where all motion stops! Britain will be devastated!
Wait a minute, someone has just informed me that 1C is actually just above freezing. 1 K[elvin] on the other hand, is very cold indeed.
You know, I read somewhere that Britain once was a globe-striding colossus and that its photographers once scaled the Himalayas practically barefoot for fun, but I’m having trouble believing that when its newspapers hype up 1C temperatures.
You know what we call 1C in Wisconsin? Late spring.
I went to pick up my boys from school today, and it was 1C and raining. And I didn’t put on a coat.
Anthony Todt, accused of killing family in Celebration, Florida, ordered held without bail.
As any student of Dr. Russ Reising could tell you, todt means dead in German.
Which means that schieß dem Fenster is not the only German I know.
World’s first fully autonomous robot cat is programmed to be aloof
You get it? “Ay, no.”
I gotta explain my gags sometimes.
The biggest mistakes people make when they move to San Francisco
The biggest, not included? Moving to San Francisco.
Headline: E.P.A. to Limit Science Used to Write Public Health Rules.
Reality:
A new draft of the Environmental Protection Agency proposal, titled Strengthening Transparency in Regulatory Science, would require that scientists disclose all of their raw data, including confidential medical records, before the agency could consider an academic study’s conclusions.
So, basically, no more regulations made based on tl;dr interpretations of single, unrepeated studies.
So, you know, basically limiting science to science and not desired interpretations leading to desired law.
Kincade Fire burns through California
Yes, I know, the “Painter of Light” spelled his name differently. But why let that get in the way of a wry quip?
Bed Bath & Beyond names new CEO
Behold, Suburbianal IV!
St. Louis used car dealership employee scammed customers of $89,000, charges say
Or was she fired for not being good enough?
Someone has killed 42 wild burros in the Mojave Desert, and there’s a $50,000 reward.
That’s only like $1000 per donkey. I can see why the killer isn’t bothering to collect the reward.
A portion of Highway 65 is planning to reopen.
Just what else does this portion of a highway have in mind for the future?