A cassowary, a giant bird with long claws on each foot, killed its owner after he fell in the backyard of his Gainesville, Florida, home, officials told CNN.
A cassowary? A causetoworry, if you know what I mean.
Forget Florida Man; we need to really worry about Immigrant Floridian Bird.
(Oh, you short term readers–I have to explain the Carbondale Police Emu thing from 2006, look here.)