Rolling Stone Poll Voters #OccupyMemoryLane

According to a Rolling Stone poll, Starship’s “We Built This City” is the worst song of the 1980s:

This could be the biggest blow-out victory in the history of the Rolling Stone Readers Poll. You really, really, really hate “We Built This City” by Starship. It crushed the competition. This isn’t the first time this happened to this song. In 2004 Blender named this song the Most Awesomely Bad Song of All Time.

As much as I hate to differ with that aging Boomer hipster magazine of record, that song is a pop rock anthem:

I mean, it’s a bit of raging against the machine in a sort of inchoate fashion that captures some of the angsty adolescents crave. Who rides the wrecking ball into our guitars? They do! Don’t tell us you need us, ’cause we’re the ship of fools. I don’t even quite know what it means, but I know I felt (and still sometimes) feel that way.

I mean, it’s not even Starship’s weakest hit of the decade.

Frankly, I give that title to the song “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” from the Mannequin soundtrack:

I say that full well admitting that I watched the film Mannequin over and over while in college after I bought the videocassette at Suncoast Video in the Northridge Mall in one of those Friday night blow-the-whole-$100-paycheck binges. There was a time that Kim Cattrall was all that, a bag of chips, a large soft drink, and a chance to win $1,000,000 with the game piece. I also taped the song from Casey Kasem’s American Top 40 on the radio so I could listen to it and other selected hits of the era of which audiences of modern “music” and hipness magazines would disapprove while I did the dishes in the narrow kitchen of a 12′ by 60′ mobile home in the middle of America. So I like this particular song and have a history with it, but it’s the Starship song I’d have to deride if I had to deride any.

Over at Hot Air, Allahpundit says:

Whatever you think of the song, this is clearly the worst video of the 80s.

Jeez, you pups, this is not even Starship’s most squicky 80s video. For that, I have to turn to “No Way Out” from Nuclear Furniture back when they were still Jefferson Starship:

I mean, Mickey Thomas is wearing mascara and has borrowed John Oates’ mustache. Although, to be honest, the video does feature Father Guido Sarducci, which is kind of like a video in the 21st century featuring…. No, there’s nothing like the Father Guido Sarducci phenomenon in the 21st century.

Not that you, Rolling Stone, or Allahpundit asked, but my favorite Starship song and video are probably “Sara”, which is also from Knee-Deep in the Hoopla (along with “We Built This City”, from which the album title comes):

It’s strange the power pop ballads that make me feel melancholic. Much like Night Ranger’s “Hearts Away” from Big Life:

So my morning is shot while I continue wandering around YouTube, reliving music videos, and muttering about damn kids.