As If Millions Of Sophisticates Suddenly Cried Out In Terror And Were Suddenly Silenced (I)

Monster truck rallies. In Paris.

Six of the world’s most legendary Monster Jam® monster trucks had the fans at Bercy’s Omnisport Arena on their feet throughout four action-packed performances in the tour’s first-ever stop in Paris.

Grave Digger®, Hot Wheels®, El Toro Loco®, Slingshot, and the Superman and Batman monster trucks delighted the 20,000-plus fans at the Hot Wheels-sponsored Monster Jam. Grave Digger and the Hot Wheels monster trucks stole the show, earning multiple wins in the wheelie competition, the racing competition, and freestyle competition.

“We’re continually amazed by the enthusiastic support we receive at every European Monster Jam tour stop,” said John Seasock, driver of the Hot Wheels monster truck. “Hot Wheels really supported our tour here in Paris, and I’m so happy to put together some wins for them here.”

Oh, some Frenchmen must have spontaneously combusted for this degradation of their celebrated culture.

But, come to think of it, what exactly is that celebrated culture? Nothing but imports. I mean, the most famous painting in their fancypants museum was painted by an Eyetalian, wasn’t it?