A Metaphor I Could Have Lived Without

Bryan Burwell of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch writes of Floyd Landis:

His lies are so bad that they remind me of my dearly departed grandmother who used to blame her flatulence on our aging cocker spaniel, even though the foul aroma was wafting directly from her flowery frock.

So the Liar King Landis tries to ignore the foul smell of guilt wafting all around him and blame it on everybody and everything but my lovable dead dog.

Burwell is purportedly a professional writer. Can we just nominate him for the Pulitzer, nay, the Nobel Prize for Literature! right now?