Memo to Suburban Drivers Visiting Downtown

Here’s a handy hint: If there’s not room enough for your car on the other side of the intersection in heavy traffic, don’t pull into the intersection. The light will turn red, and there you will sit, without even the intelligence to feel ashamed of yourself.

Blocking the box makes you look like such a tourist that even I want to take your wallet.

If you cannot handle the stress of driving downtown, stay in Wildwood and struggle to get the Cardinals game on the radio.

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