My beautiful wife has elucidated on her exercise equipment collection. Because I am a materialist, too, I want to acknowledge that I have acquired a number of things to keep myself in shape:
- 20 ounce schooner. With beer, it’s 32oz. The key is not so much the weight, but the repetitions of lifting that are the key to fitness.
- A 14 ounce all-in-one remote control. A good stretching workout device, particularly when the batteries diminish and you need to find the precise angle to switch from Bill O’Reilly to an independent film.
- A variable resistance, multi-muscular recliner. Work the right arm going up and the calves going down. If you’ve been repeating the exercise with the schooner, you’re repeating this exercise quite a bit, too.
Between naps, I think I am in the best shape of my life.