Book Report: Santorini by Alistair MacLean (1987)

Wow, who knew? I found my initial Alistair MacLean books back in the old Community Library, a volunteer and donation operation that operated out of a strip mall in High Ridge until it got its own tax levy and became the Northwest Jefferson County Library or whatever. It was more homey and plucky before it became a government-funded bureaucracy, something shared between those of us who enjoyed books before it became a burden to the taxpayers who didn’t. In the intervening years, my appreciation for Alistair MacLean has waned somewhat, too.

MacLean’s books about World War II and the early cold war period are enjoyable because they’re slightly exotic in tone and style as they are intricate in plot. MacLean, of course, was British, so his heroes are often British with their stiff upper lips mimicked in his slightly stuffy and distant prose. But more contemporary works (The Golden Gate and Floodgate come to mind) don’t work for me because they’re contemporary–in those decades I can somewhat remember.

This book deals with an American bomber carrying nukes that crashes into the Mediterranean. A British frigate investigates and finds a Greek shipping maganate who might have caused the sabotuage of the bomber so he could recover the nukes. The British naval officers on the frigate must outwit the mastermind and handle the armed and dangerous nuclear weapons at the same time.

250 pages, roughly, so it’s a quick read. Paragraph-based dialog makes it easy to skim, and the action does move along quickly, but the characters are pretty superficial and the book lacks the twists that characterize the best of MacLean’s plot-driven work.

But I bought it for a quarter, so it’s worth my time and money at that.

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Poser

Maybe I should have dropped by the NRA convention while it was in town:

Plinker
You are 51% of a gun nut!
You’re probably either a seasonal hunter or someone with a decent head knowledge of guns. Start shooting for groups, and you could really be a force to be reckoned with!

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 99% on knowledge

Link: The Gun Nut Test written by slayer1am on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

(Link seen on Exultate Justi.)

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Senseless Shooting in Illinois

Cahokia fire kills mother, 3 children

I am trying to figure out the use of passive/active voice in St. Louis Post-Dispatch headlines. I think the rules are something like this:

  • If it’s an intentional act of causing harm performed by a perpetrator of a crime, it calls for passive voice: Man Is Killed In Robbery.
  • If it’s an act of nature that can show no mens rea, use a transitive verb that implies intention in the active voice: Cahokia Fire Kills Mother, 3 Children.

Does that about cover it?

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Book Report: Fat Ollie’s Book by Ed McBain (2002)

This book, written only a couple of books before Fiddlers, focuses on a lesser character from the 87th Precinct novels: Fat Ollie Weeks. This is appropriate, that is a lesser character, as he works in the 88th Precinct, but he’s been known to participate in the boys’ criminal investigations from time to time, ah, yes. When a councilman is shot before a campaign event, Ollie is the first man up, but he involves Carella and Co. because the vic lived in the 87th. During the course of his initial crime scene inspection, Weeks discovers that his car has been broken into, and someone has made off with the case containing the book he’s very proud to have written.

The book lightly interweaves three plots: the investigation into the councilman’s death, Weeks’s investigation into the theft of his book, and the crook who stole his book’s interpretation of the book, entitled Report to the Commissioner. McBain even includes the text of the 36 page “book” written by Weeks, poorly, throughout the book. Remarkable that he (McBain) could write something bad enough to represent the amateur detective/First Grade’s work. I mean, I remember when I wrote that poorly, but I’m not sure I could do it now one cue (although perhaps I do it perpetually, which is why I lean away from fiction these days, thank you very much.

Also, as the book focuses on a bigoted character used mostly as comic relief throughout the other books, it gives McBain a chance to do some extra characterization to make Weeks’s character sympathetic.

I liked it. I bought it for a buck at a book fair. It’s worth more than that, but I’m cheap.

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Widow Sues To Make Airline Travel More Tedious

We all know about the long lines that await when we go to the airport to catch a flight, but a recent widow is suing to make sure airlines check your IDs as you leave the plane, too:

After the plane landed at Chicago O’Hare International Airport on April 13, 2005, passengers and flight crew disembarked and the jet was taken to another gate for cleaning. Workers then discovered the bathroom was locked from the inside and found Matsuo’s body — about two hours after the jet landed.

“How could you lose a passenger?” Watts, who did not fly with her husband that day, told The Indianapolis Star. “If I was somewhere on that plane, I would hope someone would notice.”

Oh, sure, she’s not suing for the express goal of lengthening the disembark time or making it more likely that you’ll miss your connecting flights; she wants the money. But be assured, gentle reader, this is what you’ll come to know as a result.

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Cosmic Impact of America’s Refusal to Abide by Kyoto Accords

Sunspots reaching 1,000-year high:

A new analysis shows that the Sun is more active now than it has been at anytime in the previous 1,000 years.

Natural cycles beyond the grasp of human control or outside human impact are inconceivable to some people. Certainly, this must be part of a Republican plot to impair global communications right before the 2008 election cycle.

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Book Report: Hidden Prey by John Sandford (2004)

This book precedes the last book I read (Broken Prey), so I put them in the wrong order when I lined them up on my bookshelf. As I’ve mentioned before, the events in Lucas Davenport’s life are background material, and the plots of the books are the important things within the novels.

This one differs from the rest, which differ from each other pleasingly. Davenport looks into the murder of a Russian sailor who formerly worked for the KGB. Was it a Russian mafia thing? A spy thing? Or could it be a hidden sleeper cell within the northern reaches of Minnesota?

Two things detracted from the book:

  • A Russian security operative, Nadya, who is sent to oversee the investigation. No problem. Overreliance upon her saying, “What is this (insert American idiom)?” That can be a problem when overused. As a matter of fact, it was a problem.
  • 2 typographical errors: an extra space before a comma and the misspelling of Del’s name as Dell. Come on, guys, you gotta try harder.

Also, I’ve nticed that Sandford’s novels have common pacing: 250-275 pages of chasing herrings and investigating followed by 50-75 pages of manic chase the real criminal action. As such, the climaxes often are forced and kinda rush past you. This book is no exception.

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With Warnings Like These

Mmm, a lollipop:


A lollipop.
click for full size

Looks good, doesn’t it? Not if you have certain food allergies:


A deadly lollipop.
click for full size

That warning says: Allergy information: Made in a facility that processes milk, eggs, soy products and wheat.

The allergy information is on the label where it’s twisted around the stem; if you’re like most people, that lollipop is in your mouth before you even look at that portion of the label, if you look at that portion of the label at all.

And if you suffer from a severe allergy to any of those food groups, your throat is probably already closing off.

But, hey, you can’t sue.

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Book Report: Fiddlers by Ed McBain (2005)

This book represents one of Ed McBain’s last books, and it was published posthumously; the About the Author bit on the back flap is in the past tense, which startles me. Cotton Hawes gives his age as 34 in this book, too, which bothered me a little, too. For most of my life, he’s been older than I am, and suddenly I’m older than many of the detectives in the 87th Precinct. That’s the meta about this book. Also, let it be known that Ed McBain did not support the war in Iraq. I don’t have a vivid impression of whether his contemporaneous books from the Vietnam era were as down on it, or even his Korean War-era books were as down on it, but it’s noticeable in these last books (see also Hark!). Now, onto the story.

Someone is shooting seemingly-unrelated late middle-aged people very quickly, and the 87th Precinct has to find the perp before he can do another vic. Meanwhile, Kling’s broken up with the black doctor following Hark!, Cotton Hawes finds himself falling for an older woman, and Carella’s daughter (now 14 after 30 years) is hanging out with a bad seed. That’s all it takes to craft a good, readable book. Like Perry Mason, McBain’s books age well, so this will be a fine read decades from now.

I was a little disappointed with how long it took the police to figure out what was going on, but I guess McBain had a minimum length to meet.

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Missed Their Panic-Induction Target

Silly UN people and their media mouthpieces, tinkling the dinner bell of doom with prognostications like this: Global warming: hotter summers, more flooding:

The St. Louis region should brace for more frequent and intense heat waves, an increased risk of flooding from big rivers and a surge in air pollution by 2050, some of the authors of a report by the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change said at a news conference Friday.

Silly Post-Dispatch Washington Bureau. He should have known to get the home crowd in an uproar, he should have aimed for more direct traumas that would appeal to the baser instincts of St. Louisians. Something like:

Global warming: More blackouts, higher electricity bills

That would tear up the people addicted to 70 degree interiors maintained at a government-limited few pennies per kilowatt hour and make them demand that their government do something to limit other people’s lifestyles to protect their own.

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Once In A Lifetime, The Faithful Should Go

Mary Bufe writes some travel tips for married couples, but it’s clear she doesn’t understand the power of the one true chosen one:

A: Imagine this couple’s life 20-something years later when they are driving back from spring break with a van full of kids. Suddenly the husband suggests a “slight detour” to visit the hometown of another important figure in American history.

Q: And that would be?

A: Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre.

Although the scenario she describes could occur, it’s just as likely that Heather’s husband would want to go directly from Robert Frost’s farm to Camden, Maine.

But I won’t rule out a trip to Kiln, Mississippi.

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Good Sports

This is just good sportsmanship:

Five people were hurt last night when a car struck the rear of an ambulance, pushing it on its nose and onto the front of an apartment building in Kirkwood.

The incident happened shortly after 11 p.m. on Manchester Road near Dickson Street when a Chevrolet Camaro struck the eastbound Abbott ambulance from the rear, said Larry Stone, an Abbott vice president.

[. . . . ]

Another Abbott ambulance took the Camaro’s occupants — a man and a woman — to St. Anthony’s Medical Center, said Stone, adding that police told him the woman had been driving.

Not to mention good business.

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Wooing With Insect-Based Love Poetry

John Donne, “The Flea”:

    MARK but this flea, and mark in this,
    How little that which thou deniest me is;
    It suck’d me first, and now sucks thee,
    And in this flea our two bloods mingled be.
    Thou know’st that this cannot be said
    A sin, nor shame, nor loss of maidenhead;
        Yet this enjoys before it woo,
        And pamper’d swells with one blood made of two;
        And this, alas! is more than we would do.

    O stay, three lives in one flea spare,
    Where we almost, yea, more than married are.
    This flea is you and I, and this
    Our marriage bed, and marriage temple is.
    Though parents grudge, and you, we’re met,
    And cloister’d in these living walls of jet.
        Though use make you apt to kill me,
        Let not to that self-murder added be,
        And sacrilege, three sins in killing three.

    Cruel and sudden, hast thou since
    Purpled thy nail in blood of innocence?
    Wherein could this flea guilty be,
    Except in that drop which it suck’d from thee?
    Yet thou triumph’st, and say’st that thou
    Find’st not thyself nor me the weaker now.
    ‘Tis true ; then learn how false fears be;
    Just so much honour, when thou yield’st to me,
    Will waste, as this flea’s death took life from thee.

Yeah, calling a woman flea-bitten has always worked for me.

(More John Donne here.)

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Response Mandatory; Opt Out, Not So Much

Students at Mehlville schools received negative campaign materials relating to a fire protection district election recently. The firemen’s union were running a campaign for a write-in candidate and hired a mailing company to send the missives, and the mailing company got the addresses from the school district and sent the campaign materials, marked “You’re Invited,” to the students instead of the parents.

A Mehlville School District spokesman obliquely blames the parents:

Patrick Wallace, a spokesman for the Mehlville School District, said that per federal public records law, the district provided data with names and addresses of students to the union. He said the district did not include information on students whose parents signed a “media exclusion form” at the beginning of the school year.

That’s right, Federal law mandates that school districts sell or release your children’s data, and if you didn’t opt out at the beginning of the school year, well, his job is secure anyway, so squawk if you want.

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Book Report: The King’s Henchman by Edna St. Vincent Millay (1927)

This is a three act play retelling an Arthurian legend (particularly the Lancelot and Guinevere thing). Published in 1927, this piece is now 80 years old, but it reads older than that. Set in the 10th century in England, the characters all speak Middle Englishesque, which is not historically accurate (Middle English started in the next century, and it certainly wasn’t spoken in 1927 on the east coast of America). As it’s not a direct retelling of the legend of Lancelot, the suspense kept me moving even through the stilted prose.

I read most of my Millay in early college, and my structured poetry of the time reflects her influence. Casting love poetry and whatnot into Middle English turns of phrase and relying upon iconic imagery of the period. I later moved a bit beyond it, but I still appreciate it enough that I enjoy Millay more than McKuen.

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