To be able to say "Noggle," you first must be able to say "Nah."
Forget the Most Holy and Exalted Overlord of Quality title I already got, I want this one:
Senior Anal Software Tester. Hopefully, that’s anal-retentive, not some sort of Java-In-The-Butt application.
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Some people, me included, were a little peeved when America Online added its advertising bots to all Buddy Lists this week:
I mean, it’s bad enough we have full volume flash ads on the Buddy List window with the obligatory mouseover pop under ads and the insistent AOL Today or their equivalents, but now we get AOL adding things to our Buddy List. What’s next? Removing other bots for its advertisers’ competitors or banning screen names with product names in them? Or is it….the “Words In Your Mouth” campaign?!
How far fetched is this? Don’t think about it, because it’s not.
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Battling Google, Microsoft Changes How It Builds Software:
Jim Allchin, a senior Microsoft Corp. executive, walked into Bill Gates’s office here one day in July last year to deliver a bombshell about the next generation of Microsoft Windows.
“It’s not going to work,” Mr. Allchin says he told the Microsoft chairman. The new version, code-named Longhorn, was so complex its writers would never be able to make it run properly.
The news got even worse: Longhorn was irredeemable because Microsoft engineers were building it just as they had always built software. Throughout its history, Microsoft had let thousands of programmers each produce their own piece of computer code, then stitched it together into one sprawling program. Now, Mr. Allchin argued, the jig was up. Microsoft needed to start over.
Mr. Gates resisted at first, pushing for Mr. Allchin’s group to take more time until everything worked. Over the next few months, Mr. Allchin and his deputies would also face protests from programmers who complained he was trying to impose bureaucracy and rob Microsoft of its creativity.
Forget the bug jail; I want a bug dungeon, somewhere deep and dank to send naughty developers.
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Oh, sure, some tech snobs liken Bill Gates and Microsoft to The Devil and the AntiChrist, but face it, you pasty-legged, Macintosh-huffing zone dweebie, when Steve Jobs introduces the iPodPeople, a music player with the ability to download music, photos, OnStar service, debit card, and other software protected by GUID and DRM which you can implant directly into your freaking head, you’ll line up around the block for the outpatient surgery.
And feel good that you’re helping overturn the Microsoft hegemony.
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The Six Dumbest Ideas in Computer Security
To which I would add a seventh: Biometric identifiers. Sure, it does price some timid criminals out of the market of cybercrime, but it also increases the risk to the innocent or the protected. After all, whereas the serious criminal who really, really wants to get in only had to guess your passwords and PINs, now he or she needs your body part.
(Link seen on /..)
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SPAMIS, that Microsoft-hating, anti-spam group whose very mention has brought most of my traffic (Google-driven as it may be), has issued another communique, an unsolicited e-mail message which concludes:
[SPAMIS NOTIFICATION]: Fully "READY" to Begin Increasing Public Service Announcement Emails to 20 Times the Amount of Internet Users by 25 Times the Current Sending Rate & Speed When a Certain Activity Transpires. [CURRENTLY IN WAITING FOR THIS ACTIVITY TO TRANSPIRE]
Of course, as I’ve read too many mystery novels and have watched my share of film noir, I automatically assume that the means something of extortion, but perhaps I am simplistic in thinking that perhaps this SPAMIS group is threatening to send MORE SPAM unless Microsoft comes through with….???
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What’s the difference between an Apple salesman and the typical Apple user?
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opt-in broadcast email advertising is a completely legal method of
reaching millions of people with your message instantly…is your business or organization utilizing broadcast email advertising
to reach millions of people a day for free…?
Funny, I didn’t opt in for that….
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Could a computer coding job paying just $15 per hour signal something’s wrong with the tech world?
A generation of IT workers have come into the marketplace assuming that they’re due exorbitant salaries. So if the salaries fall, their world ends, and so must ours, they project:
Even so, the ad’s wage does make one wonder if guest worker visas and the rise of offshoring are undermining U.S. tech careers–and by extension threatening the country’s tech leadership.
Ho hum. You know what killed US automotive manufacturing leadership? Giant corporations and unionized employees who made the enterprise cost ineffective. If United States born developers price themselves out of the market, whose fault is that?
Oh, yeah: the government or the Other.
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Thousands held improperly in crowded jail booking room through scroll bar error:
Thousands of men and women were improperly detained for more than 30 hours each in a crowded county jail booking room because a sheriff’s deputy never moved his computer scroll bar, court records show.
“I think if — if I may impose on court and counsel’s experience, sometimes when the information presented is wider than the screen, there’s a little slide bar at the bottom of the computer,” Assistant Corporation Counsel John Schapekahm told Circuit Judge Clare Fiorenza. “He never push the slide bar apparently.”
. . . . Information about how long inmates were held in booking was available via computer, Schapekahm said. But that particular piece of information was in the eighth column of a table, and only seven columns showed on the computer that a deputy used to track inmates.
Interface design can impair a person’s ability to do the job with which the computer software is supposed to assist the person. Too often we in the computer industry think of the person on the other side of the interface as computer user, which implies a familiarity with computers and a time and attention allotment that isn’t always there. Although they use the software, it’s often only a small part of an otherwise busy, complicated, and multi-tasked job.
(Link seen on Boots and Sabers.)
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The U.S. Department of Justice is quietly shopping around the explosive idea of requiring Internet service providers to retain records of their customers’ online activities.
Data retention rules could permit police to obtain records of e-mail chatter, Web browsing or chat-room activity months after Internet providers ordinarily would have deleted the logs–that is, if logs were ever kept in the first place. No U.S. law currently mandates that such logs be kept.
You think your AOL or DSL is expensive now, gentle reader, just wait until your ISP has to pay for perpetual storage and backup for every packet its users transmit and receive.
(Link seen on Ravenwood’s Universe.)
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..You are receiving this email notification because... -> MICROSOFT SENDS ILLEGAL UNSOLICITED COMMERCIAL SPAM <- OUR MISSION: Worldwide Boycott of MICROSOFT Software / Hardware / Service SHOW YOUR SUPPORT: "Don't Support Illegal Spam, Don't Buy Microsoft Products" OUR GOAL: 100 Billion Views / 99.9% Internet Saturation / 178 Parts (2005-2007) [SPAMIS Foundation: Strategic Partnership Against Microsoft Illegal Spam] [Part 47 of 178] ----- ---- --- -- - - - Microsoft Employee Mike Lyman Speaks Out on Online Spam Message Board NANAE & Mailing List SPAM-L on Microsoft Spam ___________________________________________________________ MICROSOFT IS ONE OF THE "GREATEST, MOST HATED INSTITUTIONAL SPAMMERS AROUND" "I'm with one of the greatest, most hated institutional "spammers" around. most people speaking officially for the company will go round and round with you how we don't spam. Well, in the past it was not always obvious that you were opting in, sometimes it still isn't obvious and our sign up process still leaves a lot to be desired and is open to abuse." FIRMLY ADMITTING THAT MICROSOFT IS A "SPAMHOUSE" AND SENDS OUT SPAM "We are a spamhouse. Doesn't matter that we're Microsoft. Our legitimate, unsolicited email is still just spam." ___________________________________________________________ MIKE LYMAN: Microsoft Head Email Abuse Administrator for Microsoft Speaks Out About Microsoft's Previous & Current Spamming Activities PREVIOUS CREDENTIALS: West Point Military Academy Graduate of 1987 Ex-Computer Administrator for the US Department of Defense ___________________________________________________________ MEDIA & JOURNALISTS INTERESTED IN A STORY ON SPAMIS AND/OR MICROSOFT SPAM? LEGAL FIRMS INTERESTED IN LITIGATION AGAINST MICROSOFT'S ILLEGAL SPAMMING? Contact: Spamis, Box 1259, Seattle, WA 98111 / Phone or Fax: (206)260-2409 QUESTIONS ABOUT THESE PUBLIC STATEMENTS FROM MICROSOFT: Microsoft Head Spam Spokesmen: Aaron Kornblum or Ryan Hamlin SPAMIS EXISTS DUE TO THE IMPROPER, RUDE AND FALSE ALLEGATIONS SET FORTH BY: Microsoft Head Law Firm: Preston, Gates, Ellis, Seattle, WA - USA Lawyers at Fault: Robert J. Dzielak / David A. Bateman / Theodore J. Angelis [Part 47 of 178] (c)2005 SPAMIS: Strategic Partnership Against Microsoft Illegal Spam
Thanks for playing, spammer. Perhaps my virulent anti-Microsoftism will inspire me to send you some cash. But probably not.
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Michael J. Totten reads the Microsoft Manual of Style so you don’t have to:
While flipping through the book I noticed Taiwan, of all things, had its own entry. Taiwan, according to Microsoft…wait for it… belongs to China. Totalitarian propaganda has actually made its way into a style guide for user manual and Help file writers.
Anyone want to bet what the Encarta encyclopedia and dictionaries say?
Actually, I won’t bet, because if I did, I’d have to use those “tools” as reference material if only to settle the bet.
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Some security is too secure. For example, I was signing up for something, and the application tried to prevent automated registration by forcing me to type this:
I can take my chances on whether the second and fourth characters are Ks or Xs, but what the dog is that third character? I don’t have a futhark keyboard, for cryin’ out loud.
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I received an e-mail today, nominally from Sprint, but you never know:
Dear Valued Sprint Customer,
At Sprint, our focus is making sure that we always provide you with the highest level of service. Therefore, our policy is to send you emails only with your permission. Click here if you’d like to continue receiving email communications regarding account information, special offers and product updates. Remember that Sprint respects your privacy and will never share, sell, or rent your email address to any third parties.
Whether your current Sprint Service Plan is for personal or business use, we believe that email is the most efficient and environmentally friendly way to communicate with you. If you do not respond to this message, you will no longer receive emails from Sprint (unless you later provide us with your permission). This does not apply to online invoice notifications.
Thank you,
Sprint Customer Service
So I think: This is the future of the phish scam. A two-parter. Much like the Nigerian scam seeks a response, the phuture phish will send out opt-in notifications like this, and when the user clicks okay to acknowledge he or she is a customer of the company in question, then sometime in the near future, the “company” comes back with an audit e-mail or the common phish scams.
The scam will target only users who have acknowledged that they have an offline relationship with the company whose logo appears in the scam, and the user will expect legitimate e-mail from the company because he or she has told the company that he or she wants e-mail from the company.
It’s slick, it’s elegant, and it’s coming….
(Added to the Outside the Beltway Traffic Jam.)
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Microsoft Will Drop ‘My’ Prefix for Longhorn:
If you are a Microsoft user, there’s a big change coming in Longhorn — the code name for the next MS operating system: the “My” prefix is disappearing.
Microsoft users have become used to the “My Music,” “My Pictures,” and other “My” folders, the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, reported. Those Windows folders will still be yours — but they won’t keep hitting you over the head with that terminology.
Ending a longstanding tradition, Microsoft says, starting in the next Windows version due out next year, folders will be known simply as “Documents,” “Music,” and so on.
It’s a precursor to renaming all folders and whatnot as Our Computer, Our Music, Our Documents, and so on.
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Oh, sure, the Roborior is designed to be a home security device, but listen to what it does:
The $2,600 (280,000 yen) contraption by Japanese robot maker Tmsuk Co. and electronics company Sanyo Electric Co. (SANYY) can connect with the owner’s mobile phone to relay streaming video taken on the robot’s digital camera.
It can be remote-controlled with a handset to go forward, backward, left or right. The buttons also adjust the angle of the digital camera to look up or down.
Were I to submit this to Fark, I’d use the headline New home security robot will protect your home, shoot Sarah Connor.
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Nigerian scam of the day:
ZONAL CONSULTING AGENCY.
zonalconsultant@netscape.netZONAL Consulting:Private Investigators and Security Consultants is conducting a
standard process investigation on behalf of Deutsche Bank AG,the international
Banking conglomerate, and we will like you to assist with this Independent
Enquiry.My name is MARIO WOLF. I am a senior partner in the firm. This investigation
involves a client who shares the same surname with you and also the
circumstances surrounding investments made by this client at Deutsche Bank AG.The Deutsche Bank AG Banking client died intestate and nominated no successor in
title over the investments made with the Bank. The essence of this communication
with you is to request you provide us information/comments on any or all of the
four issues:1-Are you aware of any relative/relation who shares your same surname whose last
known contact address was Hamburg, Germany?2-Are you aware of any investment of considerable value made by such aperson at
the Deutsche Bank AG?3-Born on the 1st of June 1927
4-Can you establish beyond reasonable doubt your eligibility to assume status of
successor in title to the deceased?It is pertinent that you inform us ASAP whether or not you are familiar with
this personality that we may put an end to this communication with you and our
inquiries surrounding this personality. You must appreciate that we are
constrained from providing you with more detailed information at this point.Please respond to this mail as soon as possible to afford us the opportunity to
close this investigation. Thank you for accommodating our enquiry.zonalconsultant@netscape.net
Mario Wolf.
Well, that’s creative scamming, anyway.
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The keyboard has no letters on it.
I am the only member of my generation, and the last in human history, who does not touch type and needs to orient himself by looking at the keyboard. Why, once El Guapo swapped a couple of keys on my computer keyboard at work and I could not log in because my password wouldn’t work–because it included one of the transposed keys.
(Link seen on /..)
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More software problems with cars:
A software problem is causing some Toyota Prius gas-electric hybrid cars to stall or shut down while driving at highway speeds, according to a published report.
The Wall Street Journal reports that the problem involves Priuses from the 2004 model year and some early 2005 models.
The newspaper reports the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has logged 13 reports of the engine shutdowns, while Edmunds.com, a popular vehicle-information and shopping site, has had 13 individuals post complaints in a Prius forum. Some of the cars that shut down had to be towed to the shop before they could be restarted.
Well, that’s the side effect of moving from mechanical engineering, which has had thousands of years of quality assurance to software engineering, which was supposed to have two weeks of quality assurance but development ran long, so it got two days, including a three hour status meeting and a two hour argument about which defects to fix before release and which to fix after the release.
(Link seen on /..)
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