Sometimes Recognizing a Slippery Slope Helps Stop the Sliding

I share the Chicago Tribune‘s Steve Chapman’s sentiments regarding the FCC’s investigation of Janet Jackson’s teat (registration required):

Freedom includes the freedom to be offensive, but in other media, we’d much rather make our own choices than let the government choose for us. The only TV Michael Powell should have the power to regulate is the one in his living room.

I’ll let him expand his powers to the televisions in his family room, kitchen, bedroom, and children’s bedrooms. I am a compassionate libertarian.

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Elevating the Level of Discourse

Courtesy of Andrew Sullivan, I suffered through this article on the imbalance of political viewpoints in academia today. And I had to suffer through this:

“We try to hire the best, smartest people available,” Brandon said of his philosophy hires. “If, as John Stuart Mill said, stupid people are generally conservative, then there are lots of conservatives we will never hire.

“Mill’s analysis may go some way towards explaining the power of the Republican party in our society and the relative scarcity of Republicans in academia. Players in the NBA tend to be taller than average. There is a good reason for this. Members of academia tend to be a bit smarter than average. There is a good reason for this too.”

Burness also noted that the humanities may be particularly oriented toward Democratic minds. “If you were to look at most business schools, you might find more people that were Republican than Democratic,” he said. “If you look at the humanities in general, there’s a great deal of creativity that goes on. In a sense it’s innovation, and a perfectly logical criticism of the current society, in one form or another, that plays itself out in some of these disciplines. It doesn’t surprise me that you might find people in humanities are more liberal than conservative.” [Emphasis mine, and I wanted to embolden the whole thing because each word made me madder.]

Although my collegiate preparations should have cultured me to craft a proper response to this assertion, perhaps something as simple as a quip to deflate the head of the pompos squad here, dancing up and down and chanting his ignorance, instead my baser, city-bred id bursts forth with a hearty, and sincere:

Fock you!

I am sorry, gentle reader, if you were reading this blog with your children; you should probably browse from work where it’s safe.

This Robert focking Brandon is the chair of the philosophy department, so that should indicate how focking out of touch he is from real life. No, I forget, friends, not many of you managed to slough through a degree’s worth of philosophy, so you don’t understand. Within the humanities, philosophy and literature especially, it’s not just that the academics are isolated from real life, but they’re further isolated from dealing with real issues. Academics working in chemistry and sciences and whatnot are researching real things; philosophy professors research other academics. Let Brandon chortle about his probable misrepresentation of Mill (sue me, I haven’t read much utilitarian schmaltz). Mill’s been dead a long time, and his views of stupid people are irrelevant except to offer Brandon a cloak in which to hide his own fockedness.

But another academic at Duke suffers infinite monkey moment, wherein even a random collection of letters and syllables coalesces into a rational thought:

Burness added that the course imbalance Kitchens described was also not surprising. He argued that, because gender and race are lively forms of scholarly inquiry today, it is natural that a number of courses should treat these subjects.

To put it succinctly, Those who can, do, and those who cannot get TAs to teach their courses so they can write Marxist feminist inquiries into how television altered and enforced the hegemony of bourgeois taste in the post World War II period as filtered through relevant ads in House Beautiful and seminary Marxist/feminist tracts of the past.

Unfortunately, unlike other useful dreams of snakes eating their tails, this one doesn’t yield a loud enough Eureka! moment. Of course, academics tend to procreate; the ideas and viewpoints emphasized in college as worthy of study will be studied, and the next wave of untenured journeymen humanities professors will write and research the same crap as their mentors.

Meanwhile, conservative students with a broad and almost classical education will go out into the real world and make something of themselves.

In the midst of all my succeeding, though, sometimes I still get pissed.

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Blackfive Tries Too Hard

Matt Blackfive’s got a really well documented entry about how George Bush is not responsible for the loss of 2.21 gigamillion jobs. I don’t know who he’s writing it for, though. People who will vote for Bush understand the limited effect the presidency and the entire government have on the grand economy (which is too much as it is, but not much overall). Some people who won’t vote for Bush mutter that those who lost jobs were all whistleblowers almost capable of exposing the vast Haliburton-Texas Rangers conspiracy.

So Matty’s wasting his time if he thinks he’s going to convince anyone with facts and reason. As a matter of fact, much as dogs only hear part of what is said to them, Bush opponents will only hear a certain portion of what Matt writes.

When Matt says:

Jobs lost in the first 8 months January 20th to September 11th is pegged at 1.2 million. How much of this is actually attributable to President Bush is the question. In April of 2001, the U.S. lost 423, 000 jobs. Can someone tell me exactly which policy was responsible for this?

Jobs were lost due to the teror attacks of September 11th (obvious ones like travel and lodging industry, aerospace, transportation). Boeing cut 30,000 jobs. New York City alone lost over 80,000 jobs due to the attack in the year after 9/11 . 22,000 jobs were in the vicinity of the World Trade Center. 800,000 jobs were lost in November and December of 2001.

The fact is that a lot of jobs were lost over the last few years for many reasons; however, it will be tough for Democrats to accurately pin them on the Bush Administration and not a world-wide recession, the dot-bomb bust, corporate corruption (Enron, World-Com) and 9/11.

Now, what about recovery?

The biggest indicator of an economic turn around, IMHO, is my place of employment. We were directed by our (very conservative) board to cut 20% across the company on October 1, 2001. I lead the IT Department. It didn’t matter if one department had a greater need or not, everyone had to cut 20%. This was a defensive reaction to September 11th. No one knew what would happen to the economy (which was already weak), and, when there is economic uncertainty, jobs get cut through various means – for example, hiring freezes and position consolidations. Also, think about your own spending after September 11th. Did you change your vacations, savings, will, retirement plan because of September 11th? I did. I put more into savings and spread it out among different banks. When you spend less money, less items are bought. When less items are bought, supply goes up and productivity goes down. When productivity goes down, jobs get cut.

They hear:

Jobs lost blah blah blah blah blah is actually attributable to President Bush blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah ?

Jobs were lost blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 800,000 jobs were lost blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

blah blah blah blah blah a lot of jobs were lost blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah accurately pin them on the Bush Administration and blah blah blah blah blah corporate corruption (Enron, World-Com) blah.

blah what blah recovery?

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah cut 20% across the company on October 1, 2001. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah the economy blah blah weak, blah blah blah blah blah economic uncertainty, jobs get cut blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah jobs get cut.

Nice try, Matt, but you’re scolding deaf puppies on this one.

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Unfair and Imbalanced

Number 1 headline on this Sunday’s St. Louis Post-Dispatch: Dangerous Cargo on Our Roads, Rails. Of course, if you were expecting a good, balanced view of the sometimes dangerous but necessary transporation of hazardous materials, you should wait for the story in the Atlantic Monthly.

How’s the Post-Dispatch do? Well, let’s see what we have. Lead:

PALMYRA, Mo. – First came the early morning rap on the door. Then came the coughing, the burning eyes.

In the frantic moments that followed a May 17, 2003, hydrochloric acid spill on nearby U.S. Highway 61, Shorti Garner and her husband, Steve, woke their children and piled them into the family camper to flee their home.

“My kids – in blankets and all – I scooped them up,” Shorti Garner said.

A nice play-on-the-emotions anecdote. Anecdotes! Who can deny that it’s a frightening situation? I live within a mile of the confluence of two Interstate highways and have train tracks. (Well, I am not a naturalist, but I assume a train left them. They’re two big for cat tracks.) I am right in the danger zone for a spill, but I don’t worry about it.

Why? Because every year four hundred people die from these sorts of accidents. That’s not a high number, considering all the stuff travelling about. I would expect more hit and run deaths than deaths from hydrochloric acid exposure from these things leaking.

But that’s not the Post-Dispatch’s point. Now, they don’t delve into issues such as alternate means of transportation, such as dogsleds, homing pigeons, or anything that would be safer. They also don’t explain why dangerous chemicals are transported this way, that these chemicals are used to make things people want to buy.

No, I guess the only thing the Post-Dispatch wants to do is panic its stupid readers (whether it thinks its readers are stupid, or whether the people who read it and panic are stupid, I leave to history to decide) and blame the cause of the panic on big greedy corporations who behave irresponsibly at the expense of the little man. Unlike Pulitzer Publishing.

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Compare and Contrast Assignment

Class, here’s your compare and contrast assignment for tonight:

Police in the Middle West:

Three men from the West Coast were hauling more than horses Tuesday afternoon in their trailer, authorities said – they also had $835,500 in cash stashed in a hidden compartment.

An Illinois State Police trooper and U.S. Customs agents found the money after the trooper pulled the 1999 Dodge pickup over for speeding about 3:50 p.m. Tuesday on Interstate 55, north of Litchfield, said Trooper Doug Francis, a spokesman for the agency’s District 18.

The discovery wasn’t mere happenstance. U.S. Customs had tipped off police that the trailer might contain cash, Francis said.

When the three men allowed police to search the truck and trailer, a drug-sniffing dog alerted on the vehicle, Francis said. Officers did not find drugs, Francis said, but “something was there at one time or another.”

The Illinois State Police seized the cash pending further investigation.

Lt. Brian Hollo, the district’s interim commander, said that state and federal statutes give police the power to seize money if they believe it is drug-related.

Hollo said it was the largest cash seizure ever for the district, which covers Calhoun, Greene, Jersey, Macoupin and Montgomery counties.

But police had no legal reason to hold the men or their three horses, so they were free to continue their trip, Francis said.

As for the money – Francis said, “If they can come up with proof that the money is theirs, we’ll give it back to them.”

Police in the Middle East:

At night, the police presence is most evident. On the city’s central streets, they make high-speed patrols, at times in groups that make the task appear more like a joyride. There are no other cars to be seen and there’s virtually no one on the streets, save the employees of Baghdad’s single 24-hour shop and the handful of restaurants that stay open late, mostly to serve the cops.

The police, however, do not receive credit for the apparent drop in crime. “It’s because no one stays out,” said Hassan Mahdi, the owner of the 24-hour shop. “The police are no good.”

But just because the streets are filled with police does not necessarily mean they’re safe. A journalist walking back to his hotel at around 3am on a recent morning made the mistaken assumption that it would be fine because only police were out. He was stopped and asked for his identity card three times during the 10-minute stroll. The third group of police also took US$100 from his wallet, after he showed an American passport.

Extra credit if you can work in this joke (reprinted here from another essay:

I’m reminded of the joke about the man who offered a woman $1 million to sleep with him – her resonse was a hasty “Sure!” When he countered with an offer of only $50, her response changed to “Absolutely Not! What kind of woman do you think I am?” His response … “Lady, we’ve already settled that question – now we’re just haggling over price!

(Link to Iraqi story seen on The Art of Peace, where I browsed at the behest of Winds of Change.)

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To Coin A Phrase

To blight: (tr.v.) To condemn, as a city, the lawful property of one person or corporation to hand it over to another corporation or person, to enhance the revenue of the governing municipality.

Sample usage:

The Board of Aldermen in December 2002 agreed to blight the Target site, allowing the city to ask a judge to condemn it.

Put that in your usage guide and burn it.

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Fallacy of the Distributed Middle

I hope it’s not too anti-Semitic of me to make fun of a a turn of phrase by “officials” of the Jewish Community Center (JCC, or as its otherwise known, “The J”) in Broken Heart, Missouri. In addition to razing a larger building for a small one as its membership declines, the leaders are looking for way to save money to help bridge a budget gap. This includes:

Increased use of off-campus sites for JCC programs, turning the JCC into a center “without walls.”

A center. Without walls. Without, perhaps ideally for these “officials,” without a center.

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Don’t Give My Opponents Ideas

Fark links to a story which I find personally very frightening: Tempers Flare During ‘Taboo’ Board Game.

The party game wasn’t the only thing taboo. Three men were arrested on felony charges after a game of Taboo went awry at a Conway home.

Officers were called to the home Sunday after two men threatened others with guns because they were losing the game, in which one teammate gives clues about certain subject matter, but using certain words is taboo.

Sorry, guys, I know I can be unsufferable when I play this game because I am Olympian and you’re all Little League, but there’s no need to draw down on me.

True story:

Clue: “She was a historical figure….”
Brian J. Answer: “Joan of Arc. Next, please. Come on, we’re on a deadline here.”

Putting a couple of slugs in me is the only way to stop me at Taboo. Better make them high caliber, because a .22 or .38’s not going to shut me up.

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Doing Johnny Ashcroft’s Dirty Work

Susan Murray has an op-ed piece in the Washington Post wherein she posits that reality television is making America more comfortable with a surveillance society. And then she says:

But reality TV does play a crucial role in mitigating our resistance to such surveillance tactics. More and more of these programs rely on the willingness of “ordinary” folk to live their lives in front of cameras. These people choose to have sex, get married, give birth, compete for prizes, work, fight, weep and brush their teeth in front of millions. We, as audience members, witness this openness to surveillance, normalize it and, in turn, open ourselves up to such a possibility.

Some of us have a desire to become reality TV celebrities; others set up a blog or a webcam.

Dammit! Now that we’ve been fingered as undercover operatives, do you think the checks from the federal government will stop?

Also, will someone please call for a Congressional inquiry to find out who leaked our undercover operation?

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Ten Ways To Get Fired

Yesterday, I pointed out Ways to Annoy Your Co-Workers.

Today, I’ll help you out if you just want to end it all: here are Ten Ways to Get Fired.

The article, like the other one, takes the standpoint that you shouldn’t do these things. I was rather hoping for how-to guides.

I’ve only been fired once, and the day after my last day the boss called to ask why I wasn’t at work–but that’s a long, albeit amusing story. Buy me a Guinness sometime and I’ll tell you about Bob “I Own The Business.” One of my coworkers brought in doughnuts everytime she got fired. Me, I took it as an opportunity to stay home and look for a better job. What was my point?

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I Don’t Think That Means What You Think It Means

Instapundit links to a Wired article about outsourcing. It’s an even-handed treatment, but the author quotes an Indian programmer:

Aparna Jairam isn’t trying to steal your job. That’s what she tells me, and I believe her. But if Jairam does end up taking it – and, let’s face facts, she could do your $70,000-a-year job for the wages of a Taco Bell counter jockey – she won’t lose any sleep over your plight. When I ask what her advice is for a beleaguered American programmer afraid of being pulled under by the global tide that she represents, Jairam takes the high road, neither dismissing the concern nor offering soothing happy talk. Instead, she recites a portion of the 2,000-year-old epic poem and Hindu holy book the Bhagavad Gita: “Do what you’re supposed to do. And don’t worry about the fruits. They’ll come on their own.”

She’s quoting the Bhagavad Gita? The Bhagavad Gita? That, and the particular quote, is particularly funny and ironic.

Here’s the Brian’s Notes version of the Bhagavad Gita, kids: Prince Arjuna is a little reluctant to enter a war where he has friends and relatives on the other side. He’s a bit reluctant to go into battle because he doesn’t want to slaughter them. His charioteer, Krishna, happens to be an incarnation of a deity, and he spends the poem convincing Arjuna that it’s his duty to go into battle and slaughter his friends and relatives because that’s how the his life is scripted. So Arjuna does. I’d imagine this quote is Krishna giving a pep talk, probably before revealing one of his majestic and terrifying forms.

With that context, make of the quote what you will. Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of Java!

Note: Don’t take this post as demeaning to the Bhagavad Gita or Hinduism. Go read the whole thing, as they say. It’s an interesting piece, and describes an eastern worldview that I don’t entirely share. It’s got certain truths in it, though, and as from any philosophical work, perhaps you can draw something from it to apply to your own life.

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Say Nay, Kid

Meanwhile, in San Francisco, local government officials want to change the name of the ballpark from Pac Bell SBC Your Name Here! Park to Mays Field at Your Name Here! Park. To honor Willie Mays, the Say Hey Kid. Wink wink, nudge nudge.

SBC and the Giants organization are resistent to the idea. I can understand SBC’s reluctance. The Giants will come around, though, once they realize that in ten years they can sell both names, making it Your Name Here! Field at Your Name Here! Park.

And in fifteen years, they’ll be selling the players’ names. “Listen, kid, to play in the National League, you’ve got to take the name given you. You’ll be Yahoo! Google, or you’ll be playing in the Grapefruit League for the rest of your life.”

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I Had To Quell Free Speech In Order To Save It

According to the New York Post, Al Franken physically attacked a LaRouche supporter who was dissenting from the views of Howard Dean.

“I got down low and took his legs out,” said Franken afterwards.

I don’t get the joke, Alfrie, but I generally don’t. Were you making some point about how you think Republicans show false machismo by picking on small national threats, or something too sublime for me to imagine?

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Only Ten?

MSN has Ten Surefire Ways to Tick Off Your Coworkers on its Careers site. Hey, I took a look because I thought I might pick up some new techniques. Unfortunately, this little document is about things you might do that might tick off your co-workers and why you shouldn’t do it. I don’t do the ones listed here.

I have, however, inadvertently stumbled across other surefire techniques to, if not tick off, at least raise hackles of, co-workers and office mates. So might I suggest the following:

  • Audible smacking of gum.
  • Real-time audio commentary to whatever sputteringly shocking news story you are looking at on the Web. Also, do this for at least six hours a day.
  • A messiah complex, wherein you exclaim to anyone who is listening that you are the greatest job title that ever was, but low how they mistreat you. Oh, how sorry they will be when you’re gone. How lonely they will be in the silence of the whining.
  • Answering questions that weren’t asked and then vigorously defending your position to a startled co-worker. Remember to get angrier if he or she agrees or tries to appease you.
  • Clearing the nose and the throat with gusto. Every couple of minutes.
  • Vigorous scratching and appropriate relief noises, particularly if you can bare the skin to scratch.

I am sure my former office mate could add more to this list, but until the doctors break through his catatonia defense mechanism, we’ll never know.

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Hey, You’re Not Barbara Ehrenreich!

Over at the Independent Women’s Forum, bad Charlotte takes issue with a piece in the New York Times Magazine that resins up the bow for the poor in America, particularly one woman whose tragic life story runs a gamut of poor decisions and short-sightedness. As it is in the New York Times Magazine, the author blames her miserable life on America, not on her miserable self.

As soon as Barbara “Nickel and Dime Bagged” Ehrenreich is back from her next indiscretion that could prevent her from getting a job at Wal-Mart, perhaps she could comment. Maybe we should hope she does not.

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Tony Blair Breeds Prostitutes

Drudge links to a story in the News of the World about an eighteen-year-old British student who’s going to sell her virginity on eBay to pay for her schooling.

Let’s enumerate the sordid details, shall we?

  1. She’s only eighteen, and she’s only still a virgin because she’s a lesbian.
  2. She’s going to the university to get a Bachelor of Science degree in Social Policy.
  3. She’s hard up because she’s working 3 shifts a week.
  4. The government is only giving her £3000, which leads poor Rosie to say:

    “The government has made it difficult for people like me to follow their ambition to study.

    “I wish we could concentrate on learning rather than constantly worrying about money or working to get by.

    “I think Tony Blair and Charles Clarke are encouraging a class divide, which is wrong and goes against all of Labour’s principles.”

  5. In Social Policy in British universities, false dilemma logical fallacies are proper rhetoric for socialism:

    “I’m not willing to sacrifice my future for the sake of a part-time job, so I am faced with two choices—years in debt or prostituting myself on the internet for my education.”

  6. Her lesbian lover supports her as long as she is safe, but is angry that she’s [Rosie] in this position.
  7. A British newspaper presented this as news.

British kids these days. Fortunately, we won both the revolution and the War of 1812, or these would be our future leaders and Socialist Policy setters. Our own are bad enough.

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I Am Stunned, Stunned I Tell You

This story in the Bozeman Daily Chronicle indicates that men who drink more than fourteen drinks per week and women who drink more than seven drinks a week might be abusing alcohol. Is that really “abusing” alcohol?

Alcoholic beverages, such as delicious Guinness Draught, are designed for human consumption. Consuming them, and even consuming lots of them, is actually using them properly. Now, taking a couple bottles of Jack Daniels Old #7 Tennessee Sour Mash Whiskey, pouring them over a couple of derelict sofas, and lighting them on fire, that’s alcohol abuse. Whiskey is not supposed to be an accelerant in arson. It’s supposed to be a slight intoxicant.

On the other hand:

“I’m stunned by some of this information,” said Roxanne Klingensmith, a deacon at St. James Episcopal Church.

The deacon should ask herself, How often do I seek out information that stuns me? Information should educate or, well, inform; if it produces a physiological effect such as immobilization and if one frequently finds oneself stunned or seeking stunning information, one might well suffer from informationism and might abuse information.

(Link seen on Fark.)

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