Heart, “Alone”, Bad Animals, uh, Capitol Records, 1987. No, I don’t think years of working in the retail industry has changed me at all. I mean, I have come up with maybe a few, A-ha, “The Sun Always Shines on TV”, Hunting High and Low, 1984, Warner Brothers, character tics.
Like playing Name That Muzak. I realize it might not be the sanest thing in the world, but I like it anyway. To relieve those long hours of tedious, repetitive hours of labor on a sales floor (unless, of course, my bosses are reading in which it was challenging and intellectually satisfying, of course), a couple of associates and myself might have taken to playing guess the song that’s piped in to the store.
Our store doesn’t have the variety with, “Passionate Kisses”, Mary Chapin Carpenter, lyrics, so it always poses just that little bit of mental work that gets us through the day. There’s nothing like hearing some strange thing done on a piccolo and determining it to be, “These Eyes”, The Guess Who, it’s on These Eyes, a re-release I own, a song you know. It impresses your friends anyhow.
The rules are simple. Just take, Denise Williams, “Let’s Hear it for the Boy”, Footloose soundtrack, the next song that comes onto the Muzak wherever you have to suffer through Muzak. It’s always better if there’s someone with you so that you don’t go babbling off titles to yourself in a crowd of strangers, though. Try and place the melody and name it.
The points are scored for naming the song, the artist, an, “Three Time Loser”, Dan Seal, album the song appears on, the year it was released, the record label, and any covers of the song since then. Points are also given on how well you lie if you don’t know any of the answers, but can quickly spiel off an answer that might really be it. Easy tips for this are to pick the song title or the artist’s name as the album title, and hitting one of the big players for the label. That way, “Life in the Fast Lane”, the Eagles, Hotel California, 1976, Asylum, you can get points and not even need to be right. A knowledge of music helps, but is not essential.
No points are scored during the Christmas season, however, because there are only so many Christmas songs to go around. Points can be scored, too, if you can name the artist that is doing the Muzakal rendition, but if I come across anyone that does, I won’t play. I can’t stand losing to people who are either that big into Muzak or who can lie that much better than me.
Contrary to popular belief, “You Belong to the City”, Glenn Frey, Miami Vice Soundtrack, this innocent pastime does not become a compulsion, and you will not find yourself blurting out random titles and singers in restaurants, elevators, malls, or other public places. Even if, “Don’t Fear the Reaper”, Blue Oyster Cult, it does, they can’t put you away for it.
