Category: Music

Jimmy Buffett, as in "It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere“:

At a moment like this, I can’t help but wonder,
What would Jimmy Buffett do?

Alan Jackson committed this particular travesty. For the love of Pete, Jackson, do you see Hank Williams or Willie Nelson or Merle Haggard or Waylon Jennings or Johhny Cash drinking freaking hurricanes? You’re treading a fine line here trying to work into some beach cowboy territory. I know the kids are all into it these days, but come on. A country duet that involves Jimmy Buffett? What’s next, the Wiggles?

Exception to the Rule: You may refer to a Jimmy buffet if you’re eating in the back of your old GMC SUV.

Bling-bling, as in "Celebrity":

Well, I don’t give a dang about nothing
I’m singing and bling-blinging

I don’t care how big your belt buckle is nor how much your spurs resemble spinners, cowpoke, you should never refer to them as bling-bling.

Exception to the Rule: You may refer to bling-bling if it’s the sound you hear when your shots at a rival who’s done wronged you ricochet.

Latte, as in "Celebrity":

I can throw a major fit
When my latte isn’t just how I like it

Cowboys named, what, Starbuck?

Fer cryin’ out loud, men who listen to country music drink coffee. Not flavored coffee, neither, and without milk or cream.

Exception to the Rule: A country song can use the word Latte if and only if it refers to a woman named Latte. Kinda like Vidalia.

I know I am about six weeks late linking to it, but enjoy the musical stylings of The Right Brothers singing "Bush Was Right".

Yeah, why buy one song online for $.99 when I can go into an actual store and buy the song for $9.99 plus tax on an album which includes 17 songs I’ve never heard and might not even listen to once I’ve got the album ripped into iTunes?

I’m old school, baby.

(Now, please don’t ask me why I bought a Bee Gees album in the first place.)

When out for a romantic evening with your spouse, choose “If You Wanna Be Happy” at the karaoke bar at your own risk.

When attending a performance of an attractive young jazz singer performing scorching love songs, be sure to spend at least fifty percent of the performance gazing admiringly at your beautiful wife.

But Nissan has placed The Cardigans’ “LoveFool” under its new Altima commercials, with the chorus repeating:

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me

Hardly something to fill consumers with confidence about a product.

Bobby McFerrin stops in to tell us he’s going on vacation:

For years he’s been telling people, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” Now Bobby McFerrin has decided it’s time to take his own advice.

“I’ve got one week left, and then I’m done for a year,” a weary McFerrin told The Associated Press during a weekend visit to UCLA, where he was accepting an award from the Henry Mancini Institute for his contributions to music.

“I haven’t had a sabbatical, I haven’t taken a year off from touring in 15 years at least,” said McFerrin, whose bright and bouncy ditty, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” seemed to put his name on everybody’s lips in 1988 when it won Grammys for song of the year and record of the year.

Some of us might be forgiven in thinking that McFerrin’s been on vacation for about 17 years, give or take.

The Police, “Wrapped Around Your Finger”:

Aristophanes is not your name
I know what you’re up to just the same

Because classical scholars who know who Aristophanes was also know Mephistopheles.

Hey, did you hear that Roger Waters and Dave Gilmour were seen going into King’s Rood Studios outside of London on Monday?

Me either, but since this is the Internet, it might be true. If true is a synonym for “made up on the spot.”

Pink Floyd to reunite for London concert July 2:

Four members of seminal British rock band Pink Floyd will play together for the first time in 24 years at London’s Live 8 charity concert for Africa on July 2, publicists for the event said today.

Guitarist David Gilmour, drummer Nick Mason and keyboard player Richard Wright will be on stage with bassist Roger Waters for their first public performance since they played at London’s Earls Court in 1981.

I would welcome a new studio album from Pink Floyd as long as it’s a Pink Floyd album and not a bad Roger Waters album.

Woohoo! My first Saw Doctors CD arrived in the mail today.

I know, after listening for six years, you would think I would have one by now; however, every time I looked for them in the local music shops, they weren’t in stock. I am always so very slow to Amazon one.

Feel free to use that new verb in your sentences from now on: To Amazon (v tr). I Amazon it, you Amazon it, he she or it Amazons it, we Amazon it. Remember, to keep the short o sound, when you add a suffix, it’s Amazonned, Amazonning, Amazonner.

Scene from my cassette rack:

Click for full size

Axl Rose had nightmares like this.