Category: Music

The songwriter behind Brad Paisley’s “Camouflage” is a poetic genius for seamlessly blending in so many words that actually rhyme with camouflage and are not French:

I salute him.

Twenty-five years ago, Genesis was ready to throw out the Greatest Generation and put the Baby Boomers in charge.

My generation will put it right.
We’re not just making promises
that we know we’ll never keep.

Um, yeah. Thanks for that.

but the 20th anniversary 2-CD edition of the Spin Doctors’ Pocket Full of Kryptonite is now available:

One, two princes kneel before you because they’ve thrown their backs out trying to clean the gutters, your majesty.

Friends, it’s time that we in the 99 44/100 DEMAND that our politicians and leaders stopped helping Wall Street and started helping Elm Street!

How many innocent teenagers must die before the government takes control of our dreams?

According to a Rolling Stone poll, Starship’s “We Built This City” is the worst song of the 1980s:

This could be the biggest blow-out victory in the history of the Rolling Stone Readers Poll. You really, really, really hate “We Built This City” by Starship. It crushed the competition. This isn’t the first time this happened to this song. In 2004 Blender named this song the Most Awesomely Bad Song of All Time.

As much as I hate to differ with that aging Boomer hipster magazine of record, that song is a pop rock anthem:

I mean, it’s a bit of raging against the machine in a sort of inchoate fashion that captures some of the angsty adolescents crave. Who rides the wrecking ball into our guitars? They do! Don’t tell us you need us, ’cause we’re the ship of fools. I don’t even quite know what it means, but I know I felt (and still sometimes) feel that way.

I mean, it’s not even Starship’s weakest hit of the decade. Continue reading “Rolling Stone Poll Voters #OccupyMemoryLane” →

Good lord, this song annoyed me when WKTI played it over and over again when I was 19 years old. It’s “The One and Only” by some Brit named Chesney Hawkes:

20 years later, I get a touch of nostalgia hearing it. But it still annoys me. How is it possible to feel nostalgic for annoyance?

(Seen on Hot Air.)

God bless ’em.

Here’s a guy who has rendered Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon as though it was played on a Nintendo:

Oh, my.

You’re So Vain….David:

The catty lyrics were believed to be aimed at an ex-boyfriend such as MICK JAGGER, CAT STEVENS, KRIS KRISTOFFERSON or WARREN BEATTY.

But now the target has been revealed as gay producer DAVID GEFFEN, at the time head of Carly’s Elektra record label.

I’m not going to explain my quip, you damn kids.

(Link seen on Althouse.)

I’m giving up Taylor Swift as my current songstress crush because, frankly, a large number of her songs refer to her Daddy, and each time she does, I’m reminded that her Daddy is probably my age, and that makes me feel creepy. If it makes me feel creepy, it must be creepy indeed.

Instead, here’s Jane Monheit:

I am pretty sure Monheit translates into Hot, man in some language.

Country and Western singers and band members (particularly men) should not have more than one capital letter in their last names, such as Rascal Flatts members Gary LeVox and Jay DeMarcus.

The fact that the other member of the group, Joe Don Rooney, has two first names in his professional name, cannot salvage any C&W credibility with the group.

So 101.1 went from the River to Movin’ and failed spectacularly, quickly, at changing from an eclectic mix of music to light, office-friendly dance and hip hop to an FM sports station, and for the first time in a very long while, I had to change the presets on my truck radio.

Because they kept sending me mail flyers, I changed it to 107.7, an actual Top 40 station. I say this because it plays the Top 40 countdown on Sunday mornings still. I thought that was an anachronism, but I guess it’s still around.

And I’ve been treated to this particular piece by Lady Gaga:

And I hearken back to what Ramon, a night manager, said to a younger stocker as they finished up work one morning. He didn’t understand how they would be able to sing or rap to the same songs in 20 years time the way he could still sing old R&B songs.

I spent the day echoing Ramon to everyone I spoke with. “How the heck do you sing along with that? Puh puh puh poker face. Muh muh muh muh my puh puh puh poker face.” I also laid into the whole thematic girl power manipulation of men thing, kinda as though every song on the dance radio top 40 was equivalent to Dion and the Belmonts singing “The Wanderer” with a lot of sampling and synth.

But then it occurred to me: 20 plus years later, I can still sing to this because I played the 45 single over and over again:

In my meager defense, the M/A/R/R/S is far superior because it features laser blasts in the audio and space race footage in the video.

But I guess it’s a matter of not understanding these damn kids or not steeping myself in Top 40 music enough yet.

I present to you: Harptallica.

Videos on YouTube include Enter Sandman:

Master of Puppets:

Sanitarium:

And Unforgiven:

Attention country and western singers:

I understand the lure of the Christmas album, and that backlist sales for such can go on for years and years, providing you with a steady, albeit low, income even once your waning popularity relegates you to performing at state fairs and store openings.

However, in your zeal to cash in on the reason for the season, note that steel guitars do not belong in Christmas songs.

I am talking to you, Alan Jackson and Trace Adkins.

Thank you, that is all.

Ladies and gentlemen, up and coming country and western singer Zac Brown is a metrosexual.

Let’s look at the textual evidence within his paean to all things country, "Chicken Fried":

You know I like my chicken fried
Cold beer on a Friday night
A pair of jeans that fit just right
And the radio up

Jeans that fit just right? Ladies and gentlemen, real men do not understand the concept of jeans that fit just right. Women’s jeans, apparently, have 132 different variables in cut, shape, and jib. Women worry about jeans fitting just right. A man worries about jeans merely fitting, which means the button closes and not too much sock shows. Fitting just right sounds an awful lot like Zac Brown has spent time in trendy urban outfitters, getting custom denim cut for him. He probably uses body wash, too.

And that’s just not manly. Know your inseam and your waist and take the one off of the top of the stack at Walmart, you sissy.