I Hadn’t Realized They Mined It
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Category: Headlines
Beads and Furs Just Didn’t Cut It
Headline of the day:
Money will fund riverfront development plan
How much more can the St. Louis Post-Dispatch insult its reader?
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In Unrelated News
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Balance
The St. Louis Post-Dispatch demonstrates balance in this article: Reverse mortgages can be a godsend or a curse to the elderly. Unfortunately, the balance is only in the ill-written headline.
It sits atop an otherwise evenhanded explanation of the reverse mortgage, including a number of anecdotes of people whom the instrument has helped, coupled with a financial advisor who explains some of the risks involved.
Where’s the curse besides the headline?
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Must We Resort to Name Calling?
Juvenile division missing $13,152.
As reported by the Busybody division, no doubt.
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Oxymoron
Headline: Nude Masked Man Attacks Hamptons Beach Walker
Well, if he’s wearing a mask, he’s not exactly nude, is he?
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Journalistic Forgery?
Unfortunate headline, or passive-aggressive editor knocking new ownership of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch?
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But They Still Have Drivers’ Licenses
18 Percent Of Florida Seniors Flunk FCAT [Florida’s Comprehensive Assessment Test].
Oops, wrong seniors. They meant those damn kids in high school seniors.
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Fun with Headlines
Embrace the imagery of this St. Louis Post-Dispatch headline:
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Waste of a Bullet
US troops shoot dead Iraqi general: police
I mean, if he’s dead, why waste the ammo?
On a serious note, we love the caption for the photo: “US troops have killed a number of coalition personnel. (Reuters)” Of all the things you could say about US troops, I guess that’s one.
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That’s One Big Insect
This headline would be much funnier with a hyphen:
Family of protester killed by bulldozer–suing Caterpillar
What kind of caterpillar sues bulldozers, anyway?
(Link seen on Overlawyered.)
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Officer, It’s Not What You Think
Fark links to the story Teacher Has Sex with Pupil While Baby in Car: Cops with the unfortunate summary:
That’s preposition abuse if I ever saw it.
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Keep It In The Raincoat, Professor Hawking
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Post-Dispatch Headline of the Day
From the morning’s Law and Order round up:
Man is killed in crash after police attempt to stop him
An Alton man was killed late Monday after he drove off at high speed from an East Alton police officer and crashed a few blocks later.
Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to say Man dies in crash while fleeing from police?
Well, not in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, whose unofficial motto is “It’s always the police’s fault.”
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Free Ice Cream
Headline: Ben Kingsley and wife have split.
They had a split? Did it include fudge and crushed nuts?
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Shouldn’t We Warn Somebody?
Headline on CNN:
Click for full size
Four car bombs hit Baghdad in 90 minutes? Shouldn’t we warn someone?
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Best Headline of the Day
TechDirt’s Bezos Innnnnn Spaaaaaaaaace!
I laughed because I got the allusion. And I’m not explaining it to you damn kids.
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Headline for the Day
Because north, south, east, and west are so cliché.
A special kudo to whomever at the St. Louis Post Dispatch or its online arm that filed this story in the Metro East section. Because Jefferson City is east of….well, Kansas City, anyway.
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Place Your Bets
Anyone want to bet whoever wrote/keyed in this headline thinks Bush is stupid?
Click for full size
Just asking.
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Whose Side Are They On?
Headline: Linkin Park donates $100K for tsunami.
The American rock and roll band give nothing for the tsunami survivors, and one hundred thousand for a tsunami itself.
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