Category: Headlines

St. Louis Post-Dispatch Has Too Much Street Cred

Brian J. Noggle

Headline: Snitch’s death frees murder suspect

Regardless of the circumstances of the confession nor the nature of the man’s death, I think a professional journalist would have called the man an informant or a witness.

Instead, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch takes its street cred pose and applies the term popularized on the "Stop Snitching" streetwear.

Such shenanigans make me regret I had but one subscription to revoke for my disgust.

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Wow, I Though He Was Dead Already

Brian J. Noggle

Mourn a moment with me for the recently departed poet: ‘Tiger’ creator Blake dead at 87

I was under the impression that WIlliam Blake had died a long time ago, but you know how colleges are these days, imparting the young with bad information. Let’s eligooglate the man with his most famous work:

    The Tiger

    Tiger, tiger, burning bright
    In the forests of the night,
    What immortal hand or eye
    Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

    In what distant deeps or skies
    Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
    On what wings dare he aspire?
    What the hand dare seize the fire?

    And what shoulder and what art
    Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
    And, when thy heart began to beat,
    What dread hand and what dread feet?

    What the hammer? what the chain?
    In what furnace was thy brain?
    What the anvil? what dread grasp
    Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

    When the stars threw down their spears,
    And watered heaven with their tears,
    Did He smile His work to see?
    Did He who made the lamb make thee?

    Tiger, tiger, burning bright
    In the forests of the night,
    What immortal hand or eye
    Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

No, I didn’t click through the headline on CNN.com. Why do you ask?

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How Much Bias Can You Fit Into a Headline?

Brian J. Noggle

Brown Shifts Blame for Katrina Response

  1. Something went wrong with Federal Katrina response.
  2. Katrina response merits blame.
  3. Brown deserves the blame.
  4. Brown is trying to blame someone else for the blame which is rightfully his.

I would think “Brown Testifies Before Congress” would be a more neutral headline, but then again, I don’t think neutral headline or unbiased journalism are redundancies.

Feel free to spot your own!

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Outrage In New York City as Alternate Lifestyles Attacked

Brian J. Noggle

Health officials urge New York City restaurant ban on fat trans

It’s unconscionable that New York City government would, in the interest of “public good,” would ban transvestites and transsexuals from restaurants. That for the benefit of a greater number, the city would prohibit obese individuals who expressing their individual rights to expression by wearing opposite gender clothes or roles from attending restaurants and would further strip private property rights from restaurant owners to tell them which alternative lifestyles, of which weights, the restaurant owners can serve.

THIS OUTRAGE MUST NOT STAND! THOSE WITH ALTERNATE LIFESTYLES MUST BE DEFENDED!

Oh, wait a minute, I have transposed the headline:

Health officials urge New York City restaurant ban on trans fats

Well, the government banning alternate frystyles and usurping individual responsibility of eaters and private property rights of restauranteurs to ensure that The Children are as trim and svelte as our benevolent government leaders wish they were? Carry on.

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