Earthquake Drill

It’s better to be safe than sorry, so Tristan practices what he would do in the event of an earthquake:

Earthquake Drill

When the other cats are flying through the air like extras on the bridge of the Enterprise, won’t he be laughing?

Until the gas line goes, I suppose.

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Not Like Herding Cats At All

Check showtimes near you for Yuri Kuklachev and his Moscow Cats Theatre:

In the current Cats Theatre show, Kuklachev makes a hilarious initial entrance. Standing in a small, low wagon, he is pulled on stage by a cat walking on its hind legs. The production’s lone dog, also on its hind legs, pushes the cart from the rear.

When Kuklachev steps out of the wagon, the dog hops in and is pulled off stage by the kitty.

A 75 minute show of cats trained to do tricks. How can a culture that can train cats not dominate the world?

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Feline Conspiracy Continues Apace

Tristan, the Emperor

Emperor Tristan I reports his plan for feline domination is continuing as scheduled:

  • Despite jingoistic propoganda to the contrary, cat scientists have beaten dogs to the secret of hypoallergenic pets:

    Cats produce a protein, FEL D1, that is an exquisite allergen for some sensitive individuals, meaning contact with a kitty results in streaming eyes, sneezing and general unhappiness on the human side of the relationship.

    In an effort to bring cats to the cat-challenged, Allerca, a San Diego-based biotech planned to harness gene silencing techniques to develop a breed of cat that did not express FEL D1, thus creating a hypoallergenic cat. Allerca announced their plans three years ago, [sic] and started collecting deposits from allergic cat fans, but have now decided that their plans to use RNA interference were taking a back seat to a more traditional breeding approach, albeit one that uses genetic testing to select individuals that express low levels of FEL D1.

  • Cats are working at the highest levels of the entertainment industry to infiltrate reality television:

    The fur really could fly on TV’s latest reality entry: It stars cats. Ten felines, picked from animal shelters nationwide, will live in a New York house to vie – a la “Big Brother” or “Survivor” – for a grand prize, in this instance an executive-level job with Meow Mix cat food.

All hail the wisdom of our feline overlords and get them bowls of Fancy Feast now!

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