The Amazon Effect

I spotted this story earlier this week: Joe Scarborough visibly shocked after finding out what the price of butter is: ‘Is it wrapped in gold?’:

MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” host Joe Scarborough was visibly shocked when his wife and co-host Mika Brzezinski revealed how high the cost of butter has gotten in the last four years.

“A few weeks ago… somebody who was going to be voting for Kamala Harris came up to me and said ‘oh my God, Trump’s going to win… I go to the grocery store butter is over $3” the former Florida congressman said.

“I kinda laughed and I said well that’s kinda reductive isn’t it, I said it to myself,” Scarborough continued.

“It’s $7… I’m just saying it’s 7,” Brzezinski interrupted.

“Butter is $7… What, is it framed in gold?” Scarborough replied incredulously, with a look of shock on his face.

I related to this not-a-poem about my mother-in-law’s response to recent beef prices, which shocked her because 1) she doesn’t order beef that often and (here’s my buried thesis for this short blog post, if a short blog post even warrants a “thesis”) 2) she orders things on the Internet.

I have to wonder how much this affects the experience of inflation amongst retirees, the laptop class, and the young who are used to ordering things from Amazon or from Walmart or other places that deliver things. Not only do you get dynamic pricing, which even in non-inflationary times will charge you the maximum that the algorithms think you will pay (and the prices are always going a little up or a little down based on whether it wants to entice you to buy or not) or the things are on a subscription where they just come regardless of the price and the bill is just a line on a credit card statement (if one even looks closely at them).

Going to the store, though, you see not only the thing you’re going to buy, but also that the prices of comparable things, even the store brands, have gone up (and how much they’re still going up). You also see that the prices of things you don’t buy have gone up and how much (except for wine, for some reason: a bottle of Cocobon Red Blend, for example, has only gone up fifty cents in the last fifteen years, and Yellow Tail brands have not gone up at all).

Meanwhile, here in the real world, where I do try to leave my house a couple of times a week to go shopping, I see cheap cuts of beef for $7 a pound (generally on sale), I think I’d better stock up and put some of that in my freezer.

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The Christmas Pre-Straggler

Was it only last year where I bought and placed a little resin Santa on the upstairs mantel to see if anyone noticed? Man, it has been a long year. I guess that’s why I feel as though I have aged so much, although partly that has been not hitting the gym or the dojo often enough.

At any rate, I decided that I would keep the tradition alive (although I honestly thought I’d skipped a year–I mean, this year has gone on forever–in 2024, the days were long, but the year was also long), and I looked for a cheap tchotchke at the Walmart. I found one that was under $2 which is good because I no longer have a fulltime job and am not sure if when I’ll get another.

Behold, the 2024 Christmas Pre-Straggler:

A little snow-covered church. A part of what looks like could be a little tealight-fitting village set which means I can collect them all over the course of years.

As with last year, I have just quietly placed it on the mantel, and we will see if anyone notices.

I might keep the tradition alive next year, but the year after that, the only anyone who might reside here to notice besides me might be my beautiful wife. Unlikely, but possible.

Also, “pre-straggler” is probably not the word I am looking for. I should probably think of something else. But I do have a whole year to mull that over.

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Book Report: Razor Girl by Carl Hiaasen (2016, 2017)

Book coverLike Bad Monkey, I got this book down in Clever in June, and I read them back to back, which is just as well as they feature the same characters. Well, a couple of them.

In this one, the agent of a cable television star who stars in a knock off of Duck Dynasty is in the keys to perform at a comedy club. But he’s an accordian player from Milwaukee (well, Whitefish Bay) only playing a redneck on television, and when his agent is accidentally kidnapped when a woman rear-ends his car whilst shaving her bikini area (we discover where the title comes from very early), the television star causes a near riot with, erm, jokes about gays and disfavored colloquialisms for black people in a club featuring many black gay men. So he, the television star, goes into hiding, and the agent is eventually helped out by the Razor Girl, but a big fan of the television star who wants to be more bigoted than his redneck hero kills a swarthy fellow on the tourist tram and ends up kidnapping his hero to become his friend. Meanwhile, there are some subplots about mobsters and recycled sand scams. Andrew Yancy’s girlfriend the coroner-turned-ER doctor flies to Europe to leave him behind. Yancy investigates the situation while trying to keep an attorney who is addicted to the hazardous aphrodisiac deodorant that he’s running television ads for class action lawsuits from building on the lot next to his house.

Again, a crash of various threads, characters, and zany situations where the mystery is solved in the middle of the book and the rest of it is resolution amongst the whacky characters.

Amusing; not a waste of time, but not high literature, and it has not overtaken in my heart the things I’ve read of his long ago from long ago.

But I know what you’re wondering:

  • Trump? Yes, of course, but only a mention that someone has Trumpish lips. This book might have been written before he ran for president or during. Not when he somehow won.
  • The baddest word? I thought that Hiaasen had given it up because he uses the N-word early in the book, but the redneck antagonist does, in fact, invoke the whole badness.

He has a later book, but it does not appear to be a Yancy title.

Apparently, Bad Monkey was turned into a television series just this fall and stars Vince Vaughn as Yancy. So it might be worth a watch when it comes out on DVD. Which is likely never, as most streaming does not.

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Not Me, Brother

I’m a cleaning expert — you’ve been using too much laundry detergent

Ignoring, again, from the self-proclaimed expert voices on the Tik-Tok clamoring from attention, I know, gentle reader, that I’m not using too much. To be honest, I’ve never felt the need to use a whole capful. Maybe when I first started doing my laundry in college, but not in a long time. I’ve recognized that the overage was just rinsed down the drain.

Same with toothpaste. Wait, no: I’m a toothbrushing expert: You’re using too much toothpaste. I just put a button, a small dop on the toothbrush, just enough to see I’ve put something on the toothbrush. It helps I have an electric toothbrush with a small head that only holds a drop that’s about the size of the toothpaste tube aperature. Even then, as I start brushing, most of it falls intact into the sink but I have enough froth to get my teeth clean. People shouldn’t rely on advertising, which feature great big gouts of toothpaste on toothbrushes, as instructions or suggestions for use.

And unlike other dental experts who are on the Tik-Tok who say flossing is worthless, all I have to say is if you’ve knocked something out of the recesses between your teeth while flossing after brushing, you’re more of an expert than they are. Maybe you need a Tik-Tok.

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Book Report: Bad Monkey by Carl Hiaasen (2013)

Book coverAfter reading The Downhill Lie, Hiaasen’s nonfiction golf book, I gave myself permission to read this book, a recent acquisition. I have read many, many fine Hiaasen books in the past (see also Skinny Dip, Strip Tease, Nature Girl, Lucky You, Stormy Weather, Basket Case, and even the YA novel Hoot). Still, this is a 21st century book, so I was looking for a sucker punch, but the book came during the holy interregnum of the Obama administration, so none was forthcoming (spoiler alert!).

At any rate, the story focuses on Andrew Yancy, a former police detective in the Florida Keys who has been busted from the force for publicly sodomizing with a cordless handheld vacuim the husband of a woman with whom Yancy was having an affair. His allies on the force help to get him a food inspector gig which he talks reluctantly. A tourist on a fishing charter catches the arm of a swindler about to be taken down for a Medicare scam, and Yancy is given the job of pawning it and the case off on the Miami police. He does not succeed and pursues a murder investigation on his own time. Was it the wife and her mystery man? Meanwhile, Yancy is trying to scare off a real estate speculator who has bought the lot next to his and wants to build a large home which will block Yancy’s view. Also, he is trying to woo the medical examiner in Miami while trying to determine what to do with the woman with whom he is having an affair, whom he learns is a fugitive teacher who seduced a student fifteen years ago. Oh, and someone is building a resort on a Bahaman island, the homestead of a simple fisherman who won the titular bad monkey and who commissions the local woodoo woman to curse the resort builder.

All these threads come together, of course. The book makes the Big Reveal about half way through the book, and then we get another half where the characters deal with the ramifications of the big reveal and a gradual denouement that probably goes on a little too long.

But you’re not reading the book for the plot, per se. Instead, you’re reading the book for the characters and the zany situations and…. Well, I was kinda meh. Yancy’s a bit of a slacker, and he smokes a lot of pot, and one wonders how it is he gets these attractive women to throw themselves at him. And it might have a couple too many situations and characters to be truly compelling. Or maybe I’ve outgrown Hiaasen and Dave Barry (maybe not–my review for The History of the Millennium (So Far) last year doesn’t indicate meh, but perhaps it was the nostalgia for a simpler time–2008–talking).

Two things:

  • Does Trump make an appearance? You betcha! This is a pre-presidency book, though, so it’s not hateful. A character says:

    “Showin’ off is all. He said he come into serious money, but that could mean he won eighty-five bucks on the Lotto scratch-off. Now all of a sudden he is Donald fucking Trump.”

  • The baddest word appears. This came out in the first year of the second Obamanency, which is far later than you find it in other writers. In the dark age of the 20th century, as in this book, it appears to show how backward the person using it is, but that petered out somewhere around 2005 in most books, or at least most books I’ve read after that (which is not that many, I admit). But it was noticeable mostly for the copyright date of the book.

Just things you can comment on and notice about books and how just the asides can date them. Or not.

So the book was all right. It didn’t drive me away from Hiaasen, but it looks as though I’ve read most of his ouevre already anyway.

Oh, and the titular monkey? I’m really not sure why he got the title slot, honestly. Perhaps Hiaasen had bigger plans for him.

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Brian J. Has Gone And Done It

I might have alluded to my precarious job situation throughout the year. The company I worked for was the subsidiary of a larger company, and for a long time, I expected that the parent company would assume the subsidiary into it and probably lay off everyone. So for most of 2023, I was kind of applying for jobs.

Then, in January, it happened: My employer joined the mothership. All non-engineering people were let go (with six weeks notice plus severance, so it was pretty generous). Engineers were assimilated into the big mess that was the parent company (which was integrating three or four companies and their tech stacks at the same time).

Except: The parent company does not have QA Engineers. So they kept the two of us on and kept the whole engineering team on tenterhooks as the parent company was not very clear about the onboarding and expectations for our company’s remaining team members. Over time, it became clear that everyone on our team would have to become full stack engineers as that’s all the parent company had. The two front-end engineers were not excited. Neither was I.

So I quit.

The actual thought process was more agonizing than that. The job market is trash. I broadened my job search this year, and I’ve had only a few interviews. And the only offer I got was for a part-time contract in the evenings. And that, gentle reader, was enough for me to take the leap back to consulting.

So I’ve been a little quiet here as I deal with the fallout from it. We’re going to have to retrench a bit here at Nogglestead, which means tightening our belts even more. But don’t cry for us, Argentina. We’ve got plenty to fall before we bounce. No GoFundMes or Patreon pitches for you. But if you know someone who wants a little QA work done, you know a guy.

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Wirecutter Is Helping To Keep Newspapers Alive

In a post entitled Report: Most Counties Have Little or No Local News Sources, Wirecutter admits:

We’ve got the Macon County Chronicle, published on Wednesday or Thursday. I enjoy it, it gives me a chance to catch up on all the local gossip and happenings.

I mean, he’s not doing as much to keep print alive as I am, but it’s something.

The current count of local papers I take from around Missouri is:

  1. The Greene County Commonwealth
  2. Mound City News, which is where my “cousin”‘s death notice appeared
  3. The Licking News
  4. Houston Herald
  5. Douglas County Herald
  6. Wright County Journal
  7. Branson Tri-Lakes News
  8. Phelps County Focus
  9. Marshfield Mail
  10. Stone County Republican
  11. Ozark County Times
  12. Benton County Enterprise

I think that’s it. I’d have to go rifle through the stack again.

Unfortunately, we’re cutting expenses, so I’ve had to let The Current Local lapse for the nonce and have not been able to subscribe to the two weeklies we picked up in northeast Missouri on our trip to Iowa. Also, it’s fortunate that the subscription bills have not come due at the same time or I’d realize how much I’d been spending on newspapers I only page through, read a column by a local person, and use to light fires.

One thing about the local papers, though, is non-local newspaper conglomerates are starting to buy them up. The Branson Tri-Lakes News bought the Stone County Republican, and the papers share a lot of content, so it might not be worthwhile to keep them both. The Douglas County Herald got bought by a network in Illannoy, and its letters to the editor tend to be a little more media-traditional, if you know what I mean. A nationwide concern just bought the Phelps County Focus, so we’ll see if that thins it out some–given that the Focus is published in a college town, it already had views out of step with its readers. I guess the Greene County Commonwealth long ago joined a group owned by a publisher whose columns have also been out-of-step with his readers. As the new owners “trim” their budgets, they might be tempted to trim the local columnists which make the papers interesting. Or, heaven forfend, they’ll all pick up Jim Hamilton whom I already see in several papers and Ozarks Farm & Neighbor (where he replaced Jerry Crownover, who unfortunately retired).

So in addition to the belt-tightening, we might have otherwise pruned the list.

Which is unfortunate, because I do really like reading about my adopted hometowns across the state.

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