Overheard at the Springfield Art Museum

So we’re at the Springfield Art Museum in the very back, amid the American Art, when the children spot an iPad mounted on the wall, and being deprived mostly of electronic devices at home, they zero right in on it and hope for a couple minutes (or hours) of gaming.

“You can only listen to jazz on it,” I said, for it plays a couple songs from Count Basie and Miles Davis to illustrate the American musical art form. “Count Basie and Miles Davis. You’ve never heard of those guys.”

Except, of course, they have. “You listen to heavy metal all day and jazz all night,” the oldest said.

Analysis: TRUE.

Allow me to illustrate:

Gym and software testing music (Skillet, “Feel Invincible”):

Jazz music (Sacha Boutros, “Devil May Care”):

Only one of these musical genres is killing my hearing, which leads to another common thing overheard at Nogglestead: When one of the boys says something I don’t hear, I say, “Years of loud music have damaged my hearing. Please say that in heavy metal so I can understand you.” At which point, the lad will often repeat what he said in a James Hetfield voice, which sounds something like this:

Except it’s usually something like “I need a black shirt for my drama performance on Sunday” or “Can I have some more spaghetti?” Either of which sounds pretty metal in a James Hetfield voice.