Though a Scanner Darkly

Hey, kids. Want to see gore? You, too can make a 42-year-old man’s head asplode without needing any special mental powers. All you gotta do is go up and say:

Hey, did you hear they’re remaking Ferris Bueller’s Day Off with that guy from Twilight as Ferris Bueller?

Now that I’ve put this unfounded rumor on the Internet, I fear this weekend is going to be like a live performance of the 1812 Overture with the popping of Gen X craniums instead of cannons.

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