San Francisco Hires 55-Year-Old Columnist Who Writes Like Freshman

Wow, I wrote prose like this when I was a freshman and sophomore in college:

After a lifetime voting for and working for Democratic candidates and independents, I’m finally going to make the switch and become a Republican.

The reasons are many, not the least of which is age. I turned 55 recently and, having lived more than half my life, I can’t afford to worry anymore about the other guy. It’s time for me.

As a Republican, I can now proudly — indeed, defiantly — pledge to never again vote for anyone who raises taxes for any reason. To hell with roads, bridges, schools, police and fire protection, Medicare, Social Security and regulation of the airwaves.

President Bush has promised to give me more tax cuts even though our federal government owes trillions of dollars to its creditors. But that’s someone else’s problem, not mine. Republicans are about the here and now, and I’m here now.

You might think, gentle reader, that I write prose like that some decades after college, and I wouldn’t argue with you; however, I’m not a writer paid for my commentary. Which means although we write about the same, I’m not as smart or connected as the new columnist.

He’s going in with a bang that’s determined to draw attention to his new column by pretending to be a principled reflection upons one political views. Perhaps he can immediately draw notoriety by summoning the wrath of the rightward-leaning blogosphere by mischaracterizing the Republican party and its beliefs. Ha! The joke’s on him! I am the only blogger who reads the San Francisco Chronicle, and I cannot summon a blogstorm.

UPDATE: Commenter William Squire points out that this guy has written for the San Francisco Chronicle before.

1 thought on “San Francisco Hires 55-Year-Old Columnist Who Writes Like Freshman

  1. Jeff Gillenkirk is a speech writer, media strategist, and public relations consultant. His only interest is to engage the audience, and persuade them to whatever perspective he has been paid to cover. Most of his views don’t represent mainstream America, and he tends to hide out in only the most liberal cities he can find… New York and San Fran.

    He jumps on hot-button political issues like Education, and likes to blame Bush for spending Billions of dollars on other initiatives while is son’s school begs for more money. Of course, his son’s school was identified by the Pacific Research Institute as guilty of “grand theft education.” But you won’t hear him mention the financial corruption in his son’s school district.

    He also seems to ignore the fact that providing your child with pencils and paper is the responsibilty of nearly every adult in America… why does he whine about buying these things for his children? Oh, that’s right. He thinks the government should provide everything in life.

    Daily Pundit is on your side:

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