The Streisand Manifesto

Not that you needed a reason to vote against Barbra Streisand for any legislative position in government, but let’s review some points in her manifesto “Guilty“:

  • Make it a crime to be lonely or sad
    (it oughta be illegal)

    Ms. Streisand obviously wants the government to legislate what moods an individual experiences. Lonely? Sad? Smile, friend, or you’re facing felony charges. Life in a Streisand state would resemble life in the role-playing game Paranoia.

  • Make it a crime to be out in the cold
    (it oughta be illegal)

    One wonders if Barbra wants to round up the homeless, but it’s not that simple. No, friends, this California resident wants to impose a winter-long curfew. Think about it, friends in Minnesota. Barbra imagines winter as spent in a warm and fuzzy set of evenings in front of the fireplace with warm chocolate. Ergo, they all must be. If you dare run to the store for milk and bread before a big snow storm, you could be shot on sight!

Friends, someone with more stomach for her lyrics should closely examine her work for these indicators in case Barbra determines that she needs to unseat that conservative warmonger Barbara Boxer from her position in the United States Senate in the next election. I only saw this portion of the grand unified Streisand theory of overlegislation in this book and don’t really own any of her work, nor would I sacrifice myself for this research. Undoubtedly, other kernels of Streisand’s legislative agenda lie within her work, and we must root it out!

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