(Inspired by this book and with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy….)
- If you have ever poured a cleaning agent or solvent down your drain without first consulting the Material Safety Data Sheet and EPA regulations….you might be a felon.
- If you have ever told a law enforcement official that you have committed a crime, even if you were joking or being a smart ass…..you might be a felon.
- If you have ever put a sack of potting soil in a flowerbed before checking with the Army Corps of Engineers to find out if you’re on an officially-designated wetland…..you might be a felon.
- If you have ever had trouble with a Federal form so you call their helpline and they tell you which box to check and you turn it in, but the helpline people were wrong….you might be a felon.
- If you are a doctor and your receptionist’s 1s look too much like 7s to a Medicare data entry clerk…..you might be a felon.
- If you have ever displayed a pellet or BB gun in such a fashion that someone can see it…..you might be a felon.
If only it were a comedy routine and not the law of the land.
