To be able to say "Noggle," you first must be able to say "Nah."
Just remember to keep an eye on the extradition treaties, or else you might find your software available for download on the Internet.
(Link seen on Fucked Company. I read it every single day, which explains why the first line of John Donnelly’s Gold is “Robert Davies tried to log onto FuckedCompany.com, and he could not, and he knew he was fucked.” Werd.)
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9-year-old arrested for waving toy gun. Cop’s gun on him. Taken down and cuffed. His mother busted for trying to point out to the cop that it’s a toy gun.
Sometimes I get the feeling that the cops think they have to shoot the elephant to keep we natives in line.
(Link seen on Drudge.)
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Go see what Michele from A Small Victory has to say.
I assume she’s not kidding, and she knows.
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The St. Louis Post-Dispatch, oddly enough, entitles this story “Small firms will pay piper if big companies get tax break”.
Stop the O’Learying presses, wouldja? So someone has to make up the difference when the state passes out millions of dollars to Ford, Chrysler, Boeing, or any of the other dozen or so companies that employ a couple of thousand people whenever one of those companies rattles its cup among the various states when contemplating whether to move or not?
Lord, love a duck, I know I am an English major, but this sort of thing just seems obvious to me. It’s about time a journalist catches up.
Of course, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch will forget this concern the next time that one of these companies decides it can get a better handout from Kentucky and will run breathless stories about the negotiating and the threats of layoffs, and you, taxpayer, will be forgotten.
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From a Tech Central Station article about the rather forward CEO of Ryanair, Mike O’Leary, we have this nugget of wisdom about portfolio allocation:
I don’t want to get stuck like those dot com f—-ing goons that lost everything because they failed to realize their paper wealth.
Diversify from those options, kiddies. Not that I’ll have that trouble, of course, since I’ve put all my money in liquor, canned goods, can openers, and firearms. That’s all the portfolio diversification you need.
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In Milwaukee, a group of aldermen are deferring or turning down salary increases to maintain other public services.
Thank you, gentlemen. I used to use that library you’re saving.
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No telling how they would reduce the BAC of the donor blood.
(Link seen on Drudge.)
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Jeff Gordon of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch writes in his Tipsheet column:
LIFT WEIGHTS, RUN FOR OFFICECalifornia Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger got a warm reception when he presented medals at the 39th annual Mr. Olympia contest. He’s huge with the flex-and-pose crowd.
“Finally, I feel at home again,” he told a crowd of 6,000 in Las Vegas. “This is a terrific sport, and if it wouldn’t have been for bodybuilding, I wouldn’t have any of this. It’s a great foundation.”
Added Mr. Olympia founder Joe Weider, “Finally it’s beginning to dawn on the world that bodybuilders are smart. They develop determination. They don’t give up. They don’t lose. If they ever apply that to any profession . . . they can be a great success.”
Meanwhile, back in California, the southern half of the state was ablaze with brush fires.
Gordo, Non Sequitur does not play third line center for the Montreal Canadiens. You cannot even blame Schwarzenegger, or say he hasn’t done enough to stop the fires because he’s not even office yet.
I understand you media types, even you sportswriters, want to blame current Republican officeholders for unrelated problems that preceded their terms of office, but come on. Maybe you should go back to your normal job, which is blaming the current state of the Blues on the Brendan Shanahan tampering charge from 1991. Damn that Larry Pleau! How could he?
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His Glenness relates a story about his recent trip wherein he and his family were in a hotel when the fire alarm sounded. InstaFamily escaped quickly, and the hotel sprinklers quickly doused the fire.
At least it was a real fire.
Last time I was in Milwaukee, staying in the Hyatt Regency, the fire alarm went off twice. Once on Saturday afternoon, when I was taking my pre-drinking nap and once at 3 am Sunday morning during my post-drinking-pre-driving-home slumber, someone tripped the fire alarm. Your paranoia shidoshi leapt into his trousers, shirt, and shoes quickly and stumbled, quite groggily in the second case, made his way down the narrow concrete steps.
If all the hotel’s denizens had been trying to make their ways down the stairs at the time, we would have had trouble. The stairs were only two people wide, and I was on the ninth floor. That would have made for some trampling if shidoshi had to sacrifice their lives to preserve his….
Oh, but no. The staircase was empty. All other patrons in the hotel waited in their rooms for the announcement that it was a false alarm.
Interesting strategy, guaranteed to only fail once.
My students, when that fire alarm rings, buzzes, or beeps, you leave the building. Perhaps Ashton Kutcher, wearing a fireman’s helmet, will meet you at on the street to tell you you’ve been punked. But maybe he won’t..
Or, if you’d rather not give up cable until you have to, feel free to make Brian J. Noggle the beneficiary of your traveler’s insurance as you go (e-mail me for my SSN, which you’ll need for the forms).
And do not ask your shidoshi about the “coincidence” that he never accepts employment in an office above the fifth floor, nor look in his lower left drawer and seek explanation for the fifty feet of nylon clothesline you might find.
Thank you, that is all.
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The Sophorist posts several maps that indicate which regions in Missouri consistently favor concealed carry and which do not.
Rule the cities, rule the country.
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As a recovering amateur eBay seller, I can appreciate this seller’s forthright listing:
Final Notice and Disclaimer: I know nothing about these stuffed Beanie Babies. I offer no proof of anything. It is a stuffed animal, get over it! I don’t think my ex-wife was in the Black Market Beanie Trade..but then again, I didn’t know she was having an affair either! Thus no gauruntees! All have theior little Heart Shaped tags on their ears.
Ants – Armidillo
Almond – Bear
Knuckles – Pig
Humphrey – Camel
Tiptoe – Rat (I must have picked this one)
Pig – Zodiac Pic (huh?)
Chipper- Chipmunk or Squirrel (Not Sure)
Neon – Sea Horse or Sea Serpent
Goatee- Goat
Prickles – Hedge Hog
Steg – Dinosaur (Stegasaurus I guess)
Manny – Mannatee
Paul – Walrus (Hey I get that joke..koo-koo-ka-choo)
Rabbit- Rabbit (Zodiac Critter)
Sheets – Ghost
Rainbow – Lizard (cameleon?)
Batty- Bat
Peanut – Elephant (comes in a plastic see-thru box)
Britannia – Bear with British Flag
Germania – Bear with German Flag
Eucalyptus – Koala Bear
Web – Spider (I must have picked all the ugly ones!)
Beak – Kiwi Bird?
Scaly – Komodo Dragon or other lizard..not sure!
Mystic – Unicorn
Nuts – Squirrel
(Not Pictured) Mickey Mouse in Hockey Uniform
ALL OF THEM HAVE THEIR LITTLE HEARTS TAG ON THE EARS!
On Sep-19-03 at 12:47:48 PDT, seller added the following information:
The valuable beanies here are Steg (dinosaur), Humphrey(camel), web (spider) and peanut (elephant). They are worth considerably more if they have the red heart hang tags and if the tags are in good shape – no creases or tears. If you wouldn’t mind giving me more info on those. Also, if you added more info to the auction I’m sure you could get more $$ for your tools!
To answer her question: I looked and to the best of my looking at them all. None of the ones she mentioned have any torn tags or creased tags. In fact NONE of the little critters have messed up tags. People have been telling me these critters are worth alot of money. I know nothing about them, and told you everything you need to know up in the description. I make no claims on value, and to be honest. I am amazed anyine pays more then a dollar a piece for these things. What happened to collecting STAMPS? Pay what you want for them! IT ALL GOES TO HOMEDEPOT !!!!!! and BEER!
On Sep-21-03 at 12:21:32 PDT, seller added the following information:
To sell counterfeits of a trademarked item wold make you a common criminal. Are you being honest? If so, cancel the auction, relist the common beanies, and send the rest for authentication. It would be well worth it financially and would make you honest. Taisha
Winning bid was $860. Better than I ever did, even any single auction in the great Playboy Job of 2000.
(Link seen on Pejmanesque.)
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Kelley, from Suburban Blight, has led me to the following realization:
Which Beer are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Was there any doubt?
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My home state, Wisconsin, has passed concealed carry legislation. Boots and Sabers has the complete rundown.
Good luck, guys. I hope your state constitution says “Guns are good if the legislature says so.” Anything else, we’re learning in Missouri, means the State Supreme Court gets to make the law of the land.
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Anger Management gives to you:
The Fusking.
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The last line of this story, about a principal at a charter school who uses RFID in the student IDs to keep track of the children, really sums it up properly. To address the concerns of the critics who think this might be problematic and invade the privacy of the students, he says:
“It’s as private as anything else can be when your information is stored on a server,” he said.
Anyone here who would accept that as a valid answer, please send me an e-mail with the reasons why that’s okay. Be sure to add your social security number and mother’s maiden name for validation purposes. Thank you.
(Link seen on /..)
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In an editorial in the Washington Post, Michael Kinsley’s latest piece bears the headline “One Reason Not to Like Bush” and he starts with a lead of:
Conservatives wonder why so many liberals don’t just disagree with President Bush’s policies, but seem to dislike him personally. The story of stem cell research may help to explain.
He offer some blah blah blah about Bush opposing fetus stem cell research and how Bush pretends to think it’s immoral, but:
None of this matters if you believe that a microscopic embryo is a human being with the same human rights as you and me. George W. Bush claims to believe that, and you have to believe something like that to justify your opposition to stem cell research. But Bush cannot possibly believe that embryos are full human beings, or he would surely oppose modern fertility procedures that create and destroy many embryos for each baby they bring into the world. Bush does not oppose modern fertility treatments. He even praised them in his anti-stem cell speech.
Got that? Kinsley starts putting beliefs into Bush’s head to make his point. Lookie der, lookie der, Bush cannot adhere to his principles because he has not specifically addressed this particular permutation! HYPOCRITE!
Finally, after some blah blah blah about Bush being a hypocrite and moral poser and not a very good one at that (undoubtedly, Kinsley would probably intimate, like you and me, wink-wink-nudge-nudge-say-no-more!), Kinsley finishes with:
This is not a policy disagreement. Or rather, it is not only a policy disagreement. If the president is not a complete moron — and he probably is not — he is a hardened cynic, staging moral anguish he does not feel, pandering to people he cannot possibly agree with and sacrificing the future of many American citizens for short-term political advantage.
Is that a good enough reason to dislike him personally?
Actually, if I were falling for the straw man Kinsley’s hung in effigy, I might still think it was a policy disagreement if I left out every impure motive he so applied so dilligently to the policy discussion.
As it stands, I can only summon forth a “Poor form, Peter” and continue to disregard Michael Kinsley as a serious thinker. Is it good enough reason to dislike him personally? But, Mr. Toohey, I don’t think of you.
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Sorry, not much posting tonight.
I realized I am going nowhere fast, so I decided to slow down and enjoy the scenery on my trip.
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Porphyrohenitus provides a litmus test you can use to determine if you’re liberal (acidic, I presume) or conservative (basic).
I am a Member of the Dreaded NeoCon Cabal. Do we have magic in a cabal, or is that a coven?
Darn. At the next cabal committee meeting, I am going to move we reorganize into a NeoConCov.
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In John Buccigross’s column on hockey this week, Shjon Podein, the former Colorado Avalanche and St. Louis Blues winger, defines chutzpah as only a hockey player can:
“So, I’m in my rookie year in Edmonton and it’s my birthday. We had just come home from one of our infamous 15-20 day road trips and my family is there to celebrate. So, the family and I go out to have some dinner and drinks. We’re just relaxing when one of my brothers gives me a four-foot high, inflatable tyrannosaurus rex for a birthday present. My other brother gives me a sombrero.
We get back to the hotel and get mom back in her room. As we’re leaving mom’s room, my brothers jump me and rip my suit off in the hotel hallway, leaving me with just my boxers, a sombrero and my 4 foot high inflatable tyrannosaurus rex.
So I’m wandering the hallways of the hotel trying to find where my room is. We’d been on the road for 15-20 days, it’s late, and I can’t remember my room number. I stick my room key in a number of doors, hoping to find the right one. All of a sudden, I look up and there is one of Canada’s finest security guards.
I go, “Hey, what’s going on!”
The security guard says, ‘We’ve had a complaint that some guy is walking down the hall in his boxers, wearing a sombrero, with a bottle of Bud in one hand and an inflatable dinosaur in the other, making too much noise.’
I looked at him and said, “You’ve got the WRONG GUY, brotha.”
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