Forget the Butler

In testimony why he suspected Scott Peterson in Laci Peterson’s death, detective Craig Grogan unloads his litany of probable cause:

Grogan, the lead investigator on the case, told jurors Monday that there was a lot about Scott Peterson that made him suspicious. Peterson was the last person to see his wife alive, the first person to find her gone, he had an odd alibi and it looked as though the former fertilizer salesman had been making concrete anchors in his warehouse.

There you have it. If you’re married to a murdered housespouse and you work outside the home, obviously you kill him or her because you’re the last to see him or her and the first to notice him or her gone.

Definitely another argument against marriage and cohabitation, or perhaps against interpersonal relationships at all. Never see anyone! It’s the only way to be safe.

(Public service note: don’t blog hungry; lack of blood sugar makes on note something silly and leap to spurious assertions. It’s the only excuse I can think of.)

UPDATE: Noun/pronoun agreement now corrected, dear.

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Kerry on Letterman, The Review

Ann Althouse reviews John Kerry’s appearance on The Late Show last night, and she knocks it:

Kerry cranked out a dismal performance on David Letterman’s show last night. He alternated between rerunning lines from his stump speech and plodding through scripted jokes. Unlike Nixon on “Laugh-In” and other candidates who’ve used pop culture shows successfully, Kerry did not use self-deprecating jokes. He attacked Bush and Cheney and used “Halliburton” as a punchline.

Compare and contrast Kerry and Bush’s campaign speeches. Bush cracked jokes at his own expense, Kerry, not so much.

When you’re wound tightly into defending your gravitas and authenticity and nuanced intelligence, you have to fear that any crack you put in that image with your self-deprecating humor will cause a complete collapse of the public’s understanding of your qualification to lead the country, which is your own sense of worth.

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Behold the Power of Bureaucracy

After putting a 3 inch nail into his finger, a Scottish man went to his state-run hospital’s ER — and waited 22 hours before leaving with the nail still in his finger.

Keep that in mind: when every American has health care provided by the government, those who accept that level of help will get care on par with the level of service doled out by the tenured functionaries that serve in departments of social services throughout the country. Meanwhile, those who can afford it, and that will include everyone who makes the mandates, will go to private caretakers. Unless they ban private practice, mandaters exempted, of course.

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What I Like

Man, there’s nothing that does it for me more than a an attractive young woman in black fingernails showing two middle fingers like Avril Lavigne does in this photo shoot for Maxim.

For me, the mighty flip off is a personal gesture tied to a particular, intimate emotional response I have to another single person. I find Lavigne’s deployment of that private act in a photo spread to cheapen the actual act itself, the one I share with people of whom I disapprove, especially those driving SUVs who turn from parking lots onto a road where I am traveling 45 miles per hour.

I know, undoubtedly Lavigne’s image masters would indicate that the bird-shooting indicates Avril’s punk attitude. She’s demonstrating her disdain for all things traditional, blah blah blah. But grinning while showing the middle fingers to the camera only indicates the theatrical, inchoate nature of the "rage." She doesn’t mean anything by it, and even if she did, her negative energy is directed at everything and anyone, not against transgressors or actual particular events worthy of cathartic demonstration of defiance.

Plus, it kinda looks like she’s flipping me off, and although I have seen plenty of attractive women gleefully making dismissive and embarrassing gestures at me, each one still hurts.

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Honoring The Dead

Not so with someone to politicize the dead–especially her son:

Seth, 24, was in debt after he graduated from Rutgers University in 2002. He joined the army for money and skills that, he was told, would help land him a job with the CIA or FBI — his dream jobs. “Not for patriotism,” said his mother, Sue Niederer, who is now an anti-war activist.

Congratulations, mudder, you have just called your son a calculating mercenary who went into the military only for money and job experience.

Sheesh, I hope my mother doesn’t affront me when eulogizing me. But she’s a Marine, so (aside from that) she’s got some sense.

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Introducing the Wife to a Classic

Not only is it purportedly the President’s favorite movie, but Big Trouble in Little China attains legendary status because it combines the prodigious talents of Al Heong and James Hong….not to mention Gerald Okamura, best known for his turn as the master in 9 1/2 Ninjas (which is unbelievably not yet on DVD!)

Face it, the movie depicts the lampooned American hero, out of his depth and slightly inept in the face of the world, but with a good heart and good reflexes, he manages to save the day. Conservatism at its best. You hear Rush Limbaugh doing his radio show tongue in cheek, lightly mocking himself….you hear Al Franken doing that? Perhaps I would, if I listened.

I watched this movie over and over on Showtime when I was in high school, and over and over on VHS taped from Showtime when I was in college. As a matter of fact, for my Scriptwriting class, when our group was assigned to create the pitch for a television series, I dominated the group into producing Tales from the Pork Chop Express. And now I have shared it with la luz de mi vida.

And she said it was okay.

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Disparity

Headline: U.S. Weapons Inspector: Iraq Had No WMD.

Lead paragraph:

Fallen Iraqi President Saddam Hussein did not have stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction, but left signs that he had idle programs he someday hoped to revive, the top U.S. weapons inspector in Iraq concludes in a draft report due out soon.

Considering that actual shells with chemical weapons have been found, that logically refutes the “no,” but I suspect logic remains outside the grasp of some AP reporters.

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In East St. Louis, He Would Have Been Ticketed

In Whitehorse, Canada, a Black Lab took a truck for a drive:

A pedestrian in a Whitehorse suburb was taken aback Tuesday night when a dog drove by in a red pickup truck.

Police say a person was out for a walk when the truck with a black Labrador at the wheel passed by.

When police arrived, the truck was in the middle of Thompson Road in Granger, blocking traffic. The dog was still behind the wheel.

All’s well that ends with no fatalities in Canada:

There were no injuries or damages, and no indication from police they plan to charge the owner.

Which is unlike East St. Louis, where the dog would be ticketed for driving without a license and without insurance and the owner charged with endangering an animal.

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Book Review: Buck Rogers: A Life in the Future by Martin Caidin (1995)

I bought my copy of this book at Downtown Books for $3.95 because I was feeling extravagant, and because I liked the second television show. TSR, the former role playing game company commissioned this book to promote its former role playing game, which was based not on the television show but on the original books from the 1930s (but not the film serial). So I read the book bearing in mind the comparisons that sprang from its precedents.

And the book lacks.

Of course it’s a role playing game novel. It features five adventures put together into a loose campaign, wherein Buck is updated from a World War I pilot to a 1990s ace who is purposefully suspended by a secret military program. After his revival in the 25th century, each of Buck’s adventures goes through the common RPG cycle: going to the store (wherein Buck and the reader are innundated with technical detail to increase the plausibility of the 25th century technology); briefing (wherein Buck and the readers receive the salient explication laid out by the dungeon master superior officer); adventure (wherein Buck does neat things in a progression of exotic locations); and debriefing (wherein Buck receives his experience points and resulting promotion in level/rank and the dungeon master superior officer gives the hook for the next adventure). Unfortunately, in Caidin’s presentation, this cycle is too obvious, and the formula too patented and used with appropriate license from the company that owns all role playing gaming concepts.

So it was a brief, mildly entertaining read crushed under the weight of its own rule books and descriptions of the items, back story, and rules of the game.

The back of the book features a reprint of the original Buck Rogers origin from the 1930s, which provides a means of comparison between the eras. So the book’s best impact is as a source of an alternate retelling of the myth. But it’s not a very good primary source to enjoy on your own.

One final note: Defense of Michelle Malkin‘s thesis from her new, often-assailed book In Defense of Internment: The Case for Racial Profiling in World War II and the War on Terror comes in the darndest places. Here’s a bit from page 309, wherein the sudden spy revelation, well, reveals the spy to be Japanese:

    The Japanese used secret agents on a long-term basis. They would plant their people in a foreign land for years. They were part of the local community, a fifth column, so to speak. Then, when Japanese forces made their moves, they always had amazing knowledge of defenses and how to get through them. By now it was getting obvious we had some kind of agent on our hands.”

Undoubtedly, this is one of the reasons why the reviewers for this book call it RACIST!!!! I’m not historical scholar, so I cannot attest to the historical accuracy of the assertion, but I attest that the book’s not racist. It presents different racial groups such as the Mongols and the Chinese as different, with different agenda that oppose the main characters. Antagonists of another race or ethnic group is not racism in and of itself, but keep trying, kids.

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Neil Steinberg: On the Wrong Side of History

From today’s column:

The New York Times turned its attention to men’s hats last month. Hats, it said, are enjoying “an unforeseen resurgence” in popularity. The “unforeseen” is puzzling, since the media have been announcing men’s hats are back regularly for the past 40 years.

“Hats are back,” the Fresno Bee noted last year. “Hats are once again cool,” the Tulsa World wrote in 2002. In 2001, the Chattanooga Times Free Press trumpeted “hats are back.” In 2000, the Chicago Tribune suggested “the hat is making a comeback.”

“Hats,” the Minneapolis Star Tribune observed in 1999, “are back.” And on and on and on.

But hats are not back, and probably are never coming back, though the reason why is lost to general memory. Everyone has seen old photographs of crowds at baseball games, and marveled at the unbroken sea of hats. What we do not realize is that many, perhaps most, of those men hated wearing hats, which were expensive, easily lost and a bother. They all wore hats because they had to.

I say hats never went out of style.

I’ll hold him, Brock; you hat him.

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